


The Hidden Force

by Musetotheworld



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, HoloNews Star!Cat, Jedi!Kara, Mandalorian!Alex, Minor Character Deaths, Sanvers Wedding, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Star Wars AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2018-10-03 18:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 117,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10254155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musetotheworld/pseuds/Musetotheworld
Summary: Kara Zor-El is a Jedi Padawan when the clone troopers receive Order 66. Saved from the initial Purge by virtue of being with her Master Kal-El on a secret mission without clone support, she's left to live with the Danvers in an attempt to protect her life. But the Empire is relentless in their search to root out the last of the Jedi, and she's forced to flee with Alex to the Mandalorian homeworld, a place where Jedi are mistrusted and unwelcome.For years she manages to fit in and avoid notice, but can that last after Alex's most recent mission brings old HoloNews star and current Resistance fighter Cat Grant to their doorstep? Or will Kara's old desire to fight against the dark side be impossible to resist in the face of a chance to make a difference once again?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a very slow burn, more of an action/adventure fic than a romance. There will be romance and relationships, they just aren't in the first few chapters. Please bear with me as I promise they will come!
> 
> I grew up on Star Wars and want to treat the crossover the way it deserves, so if you're familiar with the original Extended Universe you'll see a lot of familiar things throughout (and I do stick to the original EU and not the new canon because no thank you to that). If you aren't familiar with the EU (or if you want to talk about it because it's awesome), feel free to hit me up on tumblr or in the comments! I'm trying to keep it relatable, but if I throw in something confusing just let me know and I'll explain. 
> 
> Right now I'm looking at updating once a week on Sundays or Saturdays to give myself time to finish and edit new chapters. If I get enough of a buffer built up I might switch to every 3 or 4 days.

They’re in camp when they feel it, a wave of anguish rushing through the Force strong enough to leave Kara staggering. Master Kal-El manages to keep his feet, but it’s clear he feels it far more than Kara, and only his years of training keep him upright. It takes them both a long moment to recover as aftershocks of loss make their way to them both, but as soon as Kara can think she turns to her Master, hoping he has some explanation.

“Death, Kara. That’s what we felt. Something has happened to Jedi across the galaxy, suddenly and without warning.” He seems shaken in a way Kara has never seen, and somehow that sends her reeling just as much as the shockwave from before. Her Master has always been perfectly calm and in control of every situation, and to see him this disturbed is something she never thought she’d face.

“How is that possible?” Kara asks, trying desperately to find the calm center she’s been trained to think from. Whatever has happened, she can’t face it if she can’t let the Force flow through her. It’s the first lesson she’d been taught, but right now it seems like the hardest.

“Someone betrayed us,” Kal-El says as he turns and begins to gather their things. “Someone in power, with access to Jedi everywhere. Which means they know where we were, and it’s not safe to stay here anymore. Pack your things, we need to leave, now.”

Kara wants to ask about the mission they’d been sent on, but maybe it doesn’t matter any more. If someone had betrayed the Jedi so completely they clearly knew what they were doing. Continuing on as planned would be foolish. No, it was time to follow her Master’s lead until they figured out what was going on.

They ditch their speeder and anything with a transmitter in the first cave they find, hoping the rock will mask the signal enough to give them time to get away. There isn’t any proof that someone is coming for them, but Kara can feel a vague unease tingling down her spine that could be from the Force or could be her own fears. She can’t calm her racing mind enough to tell. But from the way Kal-El is rushing her, she doesn’t think it’s all in her head.

They walk for hours in the opposite direction of their original goal, following a path only Kal-El can see, Kara just struggling to keep up. Both have their Force senses extended as far as they can to avoid stumbling across someone’s camp by mistake, but there seems to be no one around. It’s not until Kara can’t take another step that Kal-El lets them rest.

She’s gotten used to rough camping since leaving the Temple at her Master’s side, but her nerves and fear keep Kara awake for hours despite her exhaustion, watching as Kal-El pores over datapads and maps, searching for a place to hide. She has to trust that her master knows what he’s doing, but sleep comes slowly even so.

***

There seems to be a plan the next morning, not just walking in any direction to get away from anything identifying them as Jedi. Kara wants to ask, but she’s so reassured by the confidence once more in her Master’s actions that she decides she’ll just follow along for now. He’ll explain when it’s time for her to know.

They move just as quickly today, but Kara is able to put aside her fears and draw on the Force for energy with greater ease as they cross the distance. It means they can go further, faster, and before dark they’ve managed to replace their Jedi robes with something far less conspicuous. Kara hadn’t felt right stealing the outfits, but they don’t have much of a choice and they can’t take the chance of being recognized. The plan before had always been to avoid notice, infiltrate the enemy research facility and steal the plans, and get out without being seen, so there hadn’t been need for disguises. But now their safety might depend on blending in, which means losing the obvious outfits and any distinguishing features like lightsabers on belts and Kara’s Padawan braid. And with only Republic credits, not accepted on Separatist worlds, they have to steal to accomplish that.

Once they make camp Kal-El turns to face her, looking serious in a way that Kara hasn’t seen him. Whatever the plan, it must be dangerous. He’d learned something while they were stealing the clothes, she’d seen him accessing the store’s datapad while she grabbed what they needed, but he hadn’t told her yet what he’d found.

“Kara, tomorrow we’re going to find a farmhouse, hopefully with a family that will take you in. You’ll have to keep your head down, don’t attract attention, okay?” He sounds serious, but Kara can’t wrap her head around what he means. Why would a family take her in? Jedi don’t have families, they have each other and the Force. Or, well, they  _ had  _ each other Kara supposes.

“What about you?” she can’t help asking, needing to understand what’s going on. “What about making our way back to Coruscant, to the Temple?”

“There is no more Temple,” Kal-El says gravely, and Kara starts to comprehend just how serious the situation is. She’d felt the pain in the Force, but for Kal-El to say that so seriously, with so much hidden pain in his voice, it must be worse than she’d thought. “Kara, there isn’t even a Republic anymore. The Chancellor, somehow he took over. The war has ended, but the clones, they turned on us. The troops killed their commanders, there probably aren’t many Jedi left in the galaxy.”

Kara goes cold at the words, thinking of all her friends, all the Jedi who had taught her and helped her discover the ways of the Force. Master Yoda, Master Wren, and Master Lin; her friends Chiiko, Jaren, and Ryssa, all gone. And if the Chancellor and the clones turned against them, then that means nowhere in the galaxy is safe.

“So, we go into hiding then?” Kara asks, not sure why her Master’s eyes grow sad at that. “Do you think we’ll ever be able to return?”

“I don’t know if you’ll be able to, but it’s very important you stay hidden for now, Kara. We can trade your safety for using your ability to grow crops, but it won’t be safe to use any of your other powers, okay? You have to blend in.” The way he’s not mentioning what he’ll be doing scares Kara, but she tries to put on a brave face. He’s the Master, surely he knows what he’s doing.

***

They find a farmhouse that he thinks will suit early the next day, and he orders her to stay back as he goes to talk to the family that lives there. They seem nice, the impression that Kara gets from them through the Force is one of calm joy, a peace that she’s seen a few times during her travels with Kal-El. The house is a little run down, a little worse for wear, and she can see why Kal-El picked them. The added help with their crops will provide some apparently much needed money, and that will make them less likely to change their minds about helping Kara.

“These are the Danvers,” Kal-El introduces, and Kara nods in the traditional Jedi greeting before realizing it’s probably a giveaway and extending her hand with a blush. “They’ve agreed to take you in and protect you. I can use their HoloNet connection to forge some adoption documents that say they took in a war orphan, if you don’t call attention to yourself no one should ever question them.”

“What about you?” Kara can’t help asking, despite her earlier resolve to just trust her Master. All of the plans so far are about her safety, her disappearance. Not his.

“Two Jedi together will be too obvious,” Kal-El says softly, looking steadily at Kara with an air of sadness around him. “And they know we were here, they’ll be looking for us. Unless I can give them a reason not to.”

Between the sadness in his eyes and the pitying looks from the Danvers, Kara understands what he means almost instantly. And she wants to argue, wants to insist that he stay, but she’s had duty and obedience drummed into her from the time she could walk. The Force isn’t telling her to stop him, so she has to let her Master go.

“We’ll keep her safe,” the husband says gravely, reaching out to put a strong hand on Kal-El’s shoulder. “Never much cared for Jedi, but this is one hell of a sacrifice you’re making, we’ll see that it gets honored.”

“Kara, remember,” Kal-El says as he nods at the Danvers in thanks. “Help the crops, but nothing more. Keep your head down, attract no attention. The greatest protection you have will be secrecy. They’ll think you’re dead, you cannot give them any reason to suspect otherwise.”

“I won’t fail you, Master. Or the Force.” She can’t say anything else, can’t fight the lump in her throat to find words to tell him how thankful she is for what he’s taught her, or how much she’ll miss him. Hopefully she’ll be able to tonight, before he leaves, but for now all she can do is try to be strong.

***

Kal-El leaves in the morning, before the sun is even up. Kara sees him off, before walking to the edge of a field and sitting, staring out over the sea of grain as she waits for the inevitable to crash over her. There had been reports of Imperial ships landing on the planet last night, and Kara knows that time is of the essence now. The troops will be looking for two Jedi, and Kal-El needs to make sure they find two Jedi before they find one Padawan.

She barely notices when a tray of food is put next to her at noon, eating only out of habit and because she knows she needs to. She can’t give in to her despair, she has to stay strong. She’s still a Jedi even if she has to hide, and that means keeping her emotions under control, not letting them control her.

It’s almost nightfall when she feels it, not as strongly as the first wave of death through the Force but far clearer. Her Master is dead.

She’s the last.


	2. Chapter 2

A farm is nothing like the Jedi Temple, Kara soon realizes. There’s a rigid structure of tasks that have to be completed, and while Kara is used to classes and schedules, she’s also used to her teachers taking time out of the day to let students stop and feel. And once she’d been with Master Kal-El of course, their schedules had more to do with the needs of the mission than anything else.

So while she doesn’t mind waking at sunrise or before, and she’s no stranger to hard work, it takes a few days for Kara to settle in. It doesn’t help that her loss is so fresh, that the Force reminds her she won’t turn and see her Master even if her heart still hopes.

The Danvers seem willing to give her space, but in order to maintain her cover story, she has to work. If a neighbor stops by and sees her sitting, staring over the fields with a vacant expression when the story says the Danvers adopted her so they’d have another hand in the fields, it just invites questions. Even war orphans are expected to work on Ruusan, she can’t attract attention by shirking.

And once the first round of grief passes, Kara learning to breath through it and let it flow from her the same way she does with anger, the physical labor actually helps clear her mind. Harnessing the Force to nurture the crops is nothing, and the rest of the tasks require much more than physical strength, which she has plenty of.

“You know, you ought to at least pretend that’s heavy,” Alex says one day, the first time she’s actually spoken to Kara since she’d arrived. The Danvers’ daughter isn’t happy about having a Jedi land on their doorstep, and Kara has been too afraid to ask why. “You’re not supposed to be using your powers.”

Looking down at the farm tool in her hands, Kara frowns as she realizes a human probably would find it heavy. “I wasn’t using my powers. I’m Kryptonian, we have stronger muscles than humans do.”

“Well, you’re supposed to be human, so maybe cut it out,” Alex says, staring at her challengingly until Kara sets the tool down slowly. She’d forgotten about that, about the race listed on her new ID. She’s not used to a world where being Kryptonian is out of the ordinary. People expected Jedi to be from many different planets, so she’d never had to hide. But now of course, being a Jedi is dangerous, and she has to remember that fact.

“Can you show me how it looks when you lift it?” Kara asks softly, hoping to bridge the gap between them. If she’s going to be here long, she should at least try to be friends with Alex, right?

“I can’t lift that one by myself,” Alex admits, back to sullen in an instant. “Go try talking to the fields again or something.” And with that she walks off, leaving Kara to stare after her, wondering what she’d said wrong.

***

Things settle into a routine before the month is out, Kara slowly learning how to hide and blend in. She loses her Coruscanti accent quickly, knowing it marks her as an outsider. And the little formal gestures common among the Jedi are the next to go, Kara slowly learning how to loosen up and react like a normal civilian. She spends hours watching Alex to learn and mimic her mannerisms, and after a sharp word from Eliza the girl doesn’t complain. She even grudgingly helps Kara, slowly beginning to spend time with her that isn’t filled with sullen or awkward silences.

“Will you tell me about Coruscant?” Alex asks one day, the first time she says anything that isn’t a criticism or basic interaction.

“I didn’t see much of it,” Kara admits, looking at Alex questioningly. “Mostly the Temple, really. Some views as I came or went for missions.”

“I was supposed to go to Coruscant for university,” Alex says, looking away when Kara tries to meet her eyes. “Then the war broke out, and Ruusan joined the Separatists. Even if I could still get accepted, our government blocked travel to Coruscant, and flying to another planet that didn’t would cost too much."

“What about now that the war’s over?” Kara asks, trying to reach out and bridge the gap that stretches between them. “Maybe you could still go?”

“I’d sooner throw myself off a cliff than set foot on Imperial Center,” Alex says, with real venom in her voice. “And what do I tell them about you, huh? When they realize my family took in a Jedi refugee? No thanks, even if I didn’t think this Empire was rotten from the core, I’d never be able to risk it.”

“I’m sorry,” Kara says, fighting down tears as she realizes how much her very presence is costing Alex.

She hadn’t asked for this, neither of them had. Kara put them all at risk, but that was a decision Eliza and Jeremiah had made, they were willing to protect her despite the potential harm. But Alex hadn’t made any choices. She hadn’t asked for a strange girl to burst into her life and take up space and attention. She hadn’t asked to give up her dreams, or push aside what she wanted in order to keep some stranger safe.

“Oh, shut up, will you,” Alex says, but beneath the snap in her words she’s guilty. Kara can feel it, even if she’s trying to keep shut off from the Force as much as possible. “I told you, I want nothing to do with the Empire. Even if you weren’t here I wouldn’t be able to go.”

“Then why did you ask?” Kara says, shifting closer in an attempt to reassure Alex.

“Because I still wonder what Coruscant must be like,” Alex admits, leaning back against the bale of hay behind where they’re sitting. “The lights and the buildings, all of that. I can’t imagine it. My whole life has been spent looking at these fields.”

Kara understands that, she’d spend most of her life in the Temple, and before that in a city that seemed endless to her toddler mind. She’d never been somewhere like this until Kal-El had taken her as his Padawan, and the first time she’d seen a world so green had been a shock. It still is, in a lot of ways. She still expects to wake up and look out the window to see the skyscrapers surrounding the Temple on the horizon, rather than the trees and fields of this agricultural world.

“The buildings stretch as far as you could see,” she says softly, closing her eyes to remember every detail of the world that had been her home for so long. “There were skylanes full of speeders in every direction, pure chaos but somehow they made sense too. At night the world lit up with thousands of lights, so bright you could hardly call it darkness. And the towers were so tall, you couldn’t see the ground. Master Kord said no one had seen the surface of the planet in centuries.”

Kara talks for what seems like hours, telling Alex everything she can about Coruscant. She keeps her Force senses passively stretched out just enough to make sure no one is close enough to hear, and lets herself remember the world that she’s lost. There’s no real chance of her ever going back, and nothing there for her if she did. The Jedi are gone. Even if some have survived the way she has, the Order itself is done. The Empire is in control, and the only thing left to do is hide and try to survive.

“Thank you,” Alex says when she finally runs out of things to talk about, and Kara nods. Somehow, sharing her memories has helped.

For the first time, she thinks that maybe she can fit in here after all.

***

By the time a year passes, Kara has fully settled into farm life. She still misses her Jedi family, she still starts at every passing speeder, but she’s at least begun to put it behind her. The crops flourish with her care, and only part of that is the Force. The rest is just the amount of time she spends focused on making sure each crop has what it needs to flourish.

Eliza and Jeremiah have started discussing sending her along with Alex to the school in town, but Kara isn’t sure she likes that idea. She’s happier away from people, always afraid that every new person she meets will somehow know she’s a Jedi just by looking at her. Spending an entire day surrounded by strangers seems like a very bad idea. But Eliza thinks that keeping her away from people will attract just as much attention.

It makes sense, but Kara can’t shake the feeling that leaving the farm will result in being found out. She finally feels safe here, and she doesn’t want to lose that, not even for schooling. She can learn well enough from education modules she downloads off the Net.

Then one morning Kara wakes up with a feeling of dread, one that she thinks for long moments must be in her mind. It’s not until she realizes it comes from her long disused Force talents that she realizes something must have gone very, very wrong.

Thankfully Eliza and Jeremiah believe her at once, and as soon as she tells them what she’s feeling the entire family is packing up to flee. They’d put a plan in place just after Kara had arrived, and even after a year they all remember what to do. Kara and Alex grab their personal bags and quickly throw together a food pack of things that will keep, while Jeremiah scans some of the military channels he shouldn’t have access to in an attempt to see if Kara’s unease is coming from that direction. Eliza meanwhile is making sure the family speeder is prepped and ready, fueled enough to make it to a spaceport that might not be locked down before they arrive.

By the time the food is packed and the girls have met the adults in the main room, Kara is sure that’s indeed what’s happened. Somehow the Empire has learned of her survival, and now troops are on their way to correct that oversight.

And from the look on Jeremiah’s face when they gather, she knows she’s right.

“Someone in town told the Empire we’d taken in a strange orphan the week of Order 66,” Jeremiah explains quickly, grabbing the assembled bags and heading for the speeder. “They don’t know for sure you’re a Jedi, but that doesn’t matter to the Empire. They do know Kal-El was alone when he died, and they’ve been looking for someone who matches your description since.”

“How much time do we have?” Eliza asks as she helps load the bags, gesturing for the girls to climb in after them.

“The troopers will be here within the hour,” Jeremiah says, looking grave. “We won’t have time to escape the way we planned.

“Then we’ll just have to hold them off until the girls can make it,” Eliza says fiercely, earning a cry from Kara and Alex both. “No, girls, no arguing. Alex, you get yourselves offworld and somewhere they won't think to look, okay? This is the only way you can be safe.”

Alex is the first to recover, nodding sharply as she visibly holds her tears back. Kara is too thrown by the suddenness of it all to do more than stare in shock as the speeder pulls away from the farmhouse. She’d never really let herself accept the Danvers as family rather than the people she was staying with, but she’d come to care for them despite that. And after losing the Jedi and her Master, losing Eliza and Jeremiah is too much.

She and Alex manage to sneak onto a ship when they reach the spaceport, and between Kara’s Force abilities and Alex’s various talents they’re airborne before too long. Kara feels bad about stealing a spaceship, but there isn’t another way offworld, and if they stay on Ruusan it’s only a matter of time before the Empire finds them.

They reach orbit before Kara feels the sudden absence in the Force that tells her Jeremiah and Eliza succeeded in drawing attention away from them, and she can’t help flinching at the sudden pain. Alex notices, and Kara sees her grip tighten around the controls before flipping the lever that launches them into hyperspace and out of reach of the Imperials.

Kara just hopes that wherever they’re heading, it’s far enough to keep them safe. She’s lost enough already.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this chapter in the middle of the week because I know these early chapters are a little slower. By the time we get through chapter 4 I think things will have picked up enough that the weekly schedule will work, but until then enjoy chapter 3 a few days early. Chapter 4 will post as scheduled on Sunday!

Alex takes them through as many jumps as she can manage to throw off pursuit, on the off chance someone had tracked their first jump vector. With the number of course changes she plots, for anyone to find them would take a miracle, and they’re both sure the galaxy is out of those these days.

The jumps also give them time to grieve, to work through this fresh loss. For Alex, it’s not only the loss of everything she’s known, but the first major loss of her life. The pain seems overwhelming, but she can’t give in, and it takes a few days to find a balance between what she needs to do and what she wants to do. She has to get them to safety, somewhere the Empire won’t find them. Just because she wants to curl up in a ball in her bunk and sob for hours doesn’t mean she can afford the luxury.

For Kara, it’s both easier and harder at the same time. Easier, because she’s lost everything before, and knows how to move on through the pain. She’s had practice feeling it and letting it flow through her, present but not debilitating. But it’s also harder, because she’d somehow begun to think she was safe. Despite the constant fear, the knowledge and certainty that one mistake could attract the attention of the Empire, after a year she’d begun to relax. She’d begun to feel as if the farm could be home. And then, for the second time, she’d lost everything.

For the first few days and the first few jumps Kara is afraid of facing Alex. This is her fault, she knows it is, if she’d just stayed with her Master none of this would have happened. She’d be dead now, true, but what kind of Jedi allows innocent civilians to die for her safety? It’s her fault that Alex lost her parents and her world.

It’s not until the fourth day, floating in the depths of empty space, that Alex seeks her out. It’s not a large ship, but Kara had taken to hiding in the dim recesses of the service shafts, tucked into corners as if she can hide from the world and undo everything that’s happened. If she denies her existence hard enough, maybe it will come true. Maybe none of this would have happened.

“It’s not your fault,” Alex says when she finds her, sinking to the floor next to her. “They made their choice when they took you in. I know they would have made the same one even if they knew what would happen. We couldn’t let you die.”

“That doesn’t mean it wasn’t my fault,” Kara argues, not looking at her. “If I hadn’t been there, they would have been safe.”

“Yeah, under an Empire that’s just as corrupt as the Republic it grew from,” Alex scoffs. “You didn’t deserve to die, Kara. Even if the whole party line about the Jedi Council trying to kill Palpatine is true, you’re just a kid. You don’t deserve death because some old dudes got too comfortable with power.”

Kara winces at the way Alex describes the most revered Masters of the Order but doesn’t argue. They’ve had that argument before, soon after she’d settled in, and Alex hadn’t been interested in changing her views just because Kara had been raised to offer them nothing but respect.

“I still shouldn’t have let them die for me,” Kara says softly, finally looking up at Alex, knowing what it must cost her to be the one offering comfort right now. “I’m sorry, Alex.”

“They made their choice,” Alex says again, fighting back tears as Kara feels another wave of grief hit her. “They wanted us to survive, Kara. They loved us, they didn’t want us to die. That’s what you do for family.”

The words don’t help, even though she understands what Alex means. They just bring another wave of guilt, because the Danvers hadn’t been her family. She hadn’t let herself feel that way. She’d cared for them, of course. She’d been thankful that they’d taken her in. But she hadn’t ever let herself consider them family. She’d held back from attachments, because that’s the Jedi way. Attachments clouded your judgement, made you unable to see a situation clearly. They could bias your feelings, or make it harder to let your emotions go. She’s proof of that now. Even without considering them her family, or letting herself see them as parents to love, she can’t let go of the pain the way she should, or her guilt.

But telling Alex that would only hurt, so Kara keeps her mouth shut and just accepts the comfort Alex is offering, because she can tell it helps the older girl. And right now, that’s all that matters, really. She’s failed Eliza and Jeremiah, but she can still be there for Alex. She can protect her, no matter the cost. She can still be a Jedi for her.

“So where are we going?” Kara asks after a long moment of holding each other, drawing comfort from the fact that they’re both still alive. “The food stores won’t last much longer, right?”

“We probably have a week of supplies,” Alex says with a nod, shifting away from Kara with a frown. “I have an idea of where we can go, but it might be dangerous.”

“Everywhere is dangerous right now,” Kara says with a shrug, willing to risk just about anything if Alex thinks it’s a good idea.

“Yeah, but this might be extra dangerous for you,” Alex says hesitantly. “It’s the one place I don’t think the Empire will look, but there’s some history that might be a problem.”

Kara’s eyes are narrow as she thinks, wondering if Alex could possibly mean what Kara thinks she does. “You want to go to Mandalore?”

“You have to admit no Imperial would look for a Jedi there,” Alex defends, even though Kara hadn’t sounded at all accusatory, just thoughtful. “And it’s a fairly deserted planet. If we can find somewhere to build shelter, between the two of us we should be able to be fairly self sufficient.”

It’s a good idea, Kara has to admit. At least once she gets over her instinctive reaction. The Jedi and the Mandalorians haven’t always gotten along, but the last battle had been years ago. Surely they won’t kill her just for showing up. The Empire  _ would. _

“I think it’s the safest option we’re going to find,” Kara says once she’s worked through everything, nodding at Alex when the older girl looks at her in shock. “Plot the course.”

***

It all seemed so simple when they made the decision. Set course for Mandalore. Land somewhere deserted but near enough to a settlement that they won’t have to walk for days for supplies. Lay low for as long as possible until they had to find something more permanent. They might not have all the details, but the basic plan seemed pretty solid.

They weren’t expecting the ship to have a security feature that kicked in when they tried to land.

There’s no warning before the engine goes. One moment they’re flying a level course heading for an area in the northern hemisphere that seems to fit what they need perfectly, the next there’s a loud pop behind them and the controls are unresponsive. And they’re still far, far higher than anyone ever wants to be without a working engine.

“Kara, you’re stronger than I am, come take the controls,” Alex says after she wrestles with the stick for a moment, fighting to budge it even an inch. “They’re stuck because of wind drag, but if you can get us leveled out even a little then we might stand a chance.”

Kara nods grimly as she does what Alex asks. She only has basic piloting skills from her time as an apprentice, but this sounds more like ‘hold the control as steady as possible for as long as possible’ rather than anything requiring actual skill.

“What are you going to do?” she asks as they switch places, carefully exerting her strength to pull back on the stick without breaking it. They both breathe a sigh of relief when it works, but they’re still falling faster than is safe.

“I’m going to try and come up with an emergency connection for the repulsors at least,” Alex explains as she heads for the back of the ship, and Kara finds herself hoping that if they do go down it’s at least safer back there away from the impact. For them to have escaped Ruusan only for Alex to die because of a security system they hadn’t known about would be too much. Surely the universe has more mercy than that.

Long seconds count down as Kara fights to keep them in a steep glide rather than a downward spiral, and at this speed even the fact she’s holding them at an angle won’t be enough to save them once they hit. The wind rushing past the hull is distracting, whistling at the edge of her concentration as Kara tries to keep part of her attention on what Alex is feeling. For the most part it’s just frustration, but Kara can sense her mind working furiously as she tries everything she can think of to coax life from the engines and bypass the security block.

Whatever she was doing succeeds just in time to soften their landing and keep the ship from going up in flames on impact, but Kara is still tossed around by the force of the collision. She can hear the screeching of metal outside as well as the snapping of tree limbs, and until the pain hits she doesn’t realize that one of those snaps was the bone in her arm.

She’s too stunned to use the Force to block the pain, and it hurts too badly for her to do more than whimper when she hears Alex making her way through the wreckage to find her. She’s never been hurt this badly, not even in training. She’d been hurt, yes, but never broken a bone, and definitely not so badly that she can see shards of that bone poking through her skin. 

“Kara, are you okay?” she hears Alex calling for her, and some part of her brain that isn’t overwhelmed by the adrenaline of the crash and the pain of her injuries wants to laugh. She  _ would  _ laugh, if she could get breath.

She can tell when Alex finds her, because suddenly there’s panic rushing through the Force with enough strength that Kara instinctively shuts down what connection she’s managed, even though that means the pain comes back full force. Pain she can handle, but Alex’s emotions so soon after losing her parents are too much.

“I’m fine,” Kara lies weakly, attempting to push herself into a sitting position with her good arm. In an instant Alex is at her side with a worried look, pushing her down gently but firmly.

“You’re not. Let me find the med kit, there should be a pain relief sharp in there,” Alex says, giving her a fierce look until Kara relents and lays back.

A broken arm changes things, especially one broken this badly. They both know it, but neither wants to face what it will mean for them. A broken arm will require medical help, which means contact with the outside world that goes beyond buying supplies at a market stall. It means Kara’s ability to help will be limited until it heals, placing more of the burden on Alex. A broken arm means all of their plans will have to be changed.

For now, they both seem content to ignore that in favor of what needs done immediately to give Kara some relief from the pain. They can’t set the bone here; Alex knows some basic first aid but not enough to handle a break this bad, and Kara can’t do it to herself. But they can strap the limb to Kara’s torso to keep it from getting worse, and they can give Kara a painkiller that handles the worst of the pain. It’s not strong enough to handle all of it, not for a Kryptonian, but at least she can think clearly without wanting to scream.

***

They’ve just started gathering what they can salvage from the wreck when they hear the sound of a speeder pulling up outside, and both girls freeze. They hadn’t expected anyone to come investigate the crash this soon, and it catches them by surprise.

“Stay down,” Alex orders, and Kara shakes her head, reaching for the lightsaber that she’d kept close after they’d had to run. “Kara, you’re injured, you can’t fight. Let me handle this.”

“You don’t even know how to shoot that thing!” Kara hisses as Alex reaches for the blaster rifle they’d found onboard, checking to make sure it’s charged before turning back to Kara with a glare.

“I know enough, and at least I have a distance weapon. How are you going to fight hand to hand with a broken arm? I’ll take care of it, Kara.” She’s determined, she won’t risk Kara being hurt any more than she already is.

“Let me at least stay behind you,” Kara pleads, glad when Alex reluctantly nods.

“Okay, but  _ don’t  _ draw your lightsaber unless you absolutely have to,” she insists before making her way towards the hatch, Kara close behind.

She’s watched enough war coverage and action holos to know how to hold the rifle, to at least make a good show of pretending to be comfortable with it. She also knows to stick to the edge of the corridor rather than walk down the middle, and keep the barrel up and ready to fire. Her heart is hammering in her chest the entire time, but somehow she manages to remain calm enough to push the panic down.

The calm nearly fails her when she hears boots on the ramp, but she somehow manages to keep her wits about her long enough to carefully push Kara down behind a section of metal plating that had been torn loose in the crash, settling beside her with the rifle at ready position while she waits for whoever it is to show their face.

When the masked figure rounds the corner, Alex can’t help letting off a shot. She’d known objectively what to expect given that they’d landed on Mandalore, but the sight of the intimidating T-slit was a shock anyway. It didn’t spell comfort or help to her, she was used to seeing it in context as a soldier. And even if the Mandalorians had fought for the CIS, their reputation wasn’t the most peaceful to consider.

“Woah, I am not your enemy,” a voice comes from where the figure has ducked out of sight, and Alex winces, glad she’d missed. “I just wanted to see if anyone is hurt.”

“My sister,” Alex calls, ignoring the way Kara flinches next to her. It’s easier to explain than ‘adopted Jedi refugee’ at this point. “She broke her arm in the crash.”

“I can help, if you let me,” the Mandalorian calls again, this time sounding closer to the hatch. “I give you my word, I won’t harm you.”

A quick glance at Kara gets a nod of agreement, and Alex lowers the rifle as Kara hides her lightsaber once more. “I won’t shoot,” Alex promises, though she keeps the rifle close.

“My name is J’onn,” the Mandalorian says when he gets close enough to see them both, and Alex tries not to be afraid of him. It doesn’t help that she can’t see a face, can’t tell what he looks like or what expression he’s wearing. He seems more machine than anything else at this point.

“I’m Alex, this is Kara,” she says, offering no more than that as she steps back just enough to let him look at Kara’s arm. “She broke it in the crash.”

“It’s a little more than I can treat here, but there’s a med droid in town, if you’re willing to come with me,” J’onn says as he studies the way they’ve immobilized the limb. “Bring whatever medication you gave her so the droid knows what’s in her system.” Alex nods sharply as he gives an order, glad that someone has taken charge. Something about J’onn is reassuring now that she sees what care he’s taking with Kara, and between that and the way Kara nods at her Alex feels comfortable enough heading back to the cabin to grab the medkit and used sharp.

“Thank you,” Alex says when she returns, watching as he helps Kara to her feet, bodily lifting her over debris in the path to keep from jostling her arm as much as possible.

“It’s the job of a Mando’ad to help out where needed, no thanks is necessary,” J’onn says as he lifts Kara into his speeder, making sure she’s settled comfortably before turning to Alex. “Are you two alone? No one else on board?”

“It’s just us,” Alex says, feeling her throat tighten as her emotions threaten to get the best of her once more. “Our parents sent us away to safety.” She can’t bring herself to admit the rest of what had happened, that her parents died to give them a chance, but from the way J’onn’s body language softens she can tell he understands everything she hasn’t said.

“Then you’re welcome to stay with me,” he offers instantly, reaching up and slipping the helmet off his head. His eyes are kind even in his stern face, and Alex wants desperately to trust him. At this point, she isn’t sure they have much choice in the matter anyway.

“Thank you, J’onn,” Alex says, gratefully accepting the offer once she’s checked with Kara to make sure the other girl doesn’t mind. She’s been very quiet since J’onn appeared, but Alex puts that down to the stress of meeting another person and the pain of her broken arm. And if Kara doesn’t want to talk, then Alex won’t make her. She can take the lead.

“It’s no trouble,” he says, gesturing for her to climb in. “You remind me of my girls, and like I said, any Mando’ad has a duty to take care of our own.”

“We’re not Mandalorian,” Alex says quickly, not wanting J’onn to think they’re trying to trick him when the truth comes out. She doesn’t think it’ll change his mind, at least about getting them to the med droid, but if she tries to keep a lie going beyond that they’ll undoubtedly get caught sooner rather than later. Especially when neither speak the language.

“I didn’t think you were,” J’onn says with a smile, starting the speeder and heading off towards what Alex assumes must be the nearest town. “But you could be. You’re impressive, both of you. My daughters are long gone, but I’d be happy to call you both my children, if you want.”

“I can’t have a family,” Kara says before Alex can say anything, wincing as she shifts. “Your offer of help is appreciated, but if it comes with the price of adoption, I’d rather take my chances setting the break myself.”

Alex is shocked to hear Kara speak so bluntly, but from the way every word fights its way past clenched teeth, she knows the pain has to be keeping her from phrasing the denial with any sort of politeness.

“The help is free, the offer to adopt you was just that, an offer,” J’onn says easily, and Alex breathes a sigh of relief that Kara’s refusal hasn’t cost them an ally. She understands why Kara had refused, it’s the same reason she’d flinched at being called Alex’s sister. Families are attachments, and Kara can’t let go of the idea that attachments are to be avoided. The irony hasn’t been lost on Alex, but given everything that’s happened, she’s thought it best to avoid pointing that out.

The rest of the trip passes in silence as Kara visibly tries to keep from crying out in pain with every bump, and Alex splits her time worrying about Kara and worrying about how much and what to tell J’onn. It will all come down to how much they think he can be trusted, and before she tells him anything she’ll have to talk to Kara. After all, it’s mostly her secret to tell.

First though, they need to focus on getting her broken arm set. They can worry about the rest after that.


	4. Chapter 4

It takes a week before Kara and Alex stop jumping at any sound from outside J’onn’s home. A month before they’re comfortable around anyone but each other, even J’onn. They can’t help it, after a year of hiding Kara’s existence and then the panic of the escape, they’re on edge and constantly waiting for something to go wrong.

J’onn seems to understand, giving them space and not questioning why Kara moves a cot into Alex’s room rather than sleep alone, or why Alex never lets her blaster out of her sight. But once a month has passed without issue, Alex and Kara know that their host deserves to know the truth. If the Empire finds them they won’t care whether J’onn knows or not. And now that Kara’s arm is healed, if he objects to the danger they can strike out on their own.

But once they’ve laid out the facts, J’onn surprises them. “You have no need to fear the Empire here,” he reassures them, voice low and calm as he smiles at them. “No Mandalorian would betray one of our own to the Empire.”

“But we’re not Mandalorian,” Kara protests, fears still present. “I’m a Jedi, and Mandalorians don’t like Jedi.”

“True, but you’re also a child, and no one here will blame you for the sins of your elders,” J’onn explains, still calm, still reassuring. “And you can become Mandalorian. I wasn’t born Mandalorian either, but we aren’t exactly an exclusive club. Anyone who wants to join can, as long as they accept the responsibility that comes with the name.”

“We can’t though,” Alex protests before Kara has to do it, looking torn. “Kara’s a Jedi, she can’t have a family.” Kara can hear the pain in her voice at the thought and wishes that she could fix it, but she’s lost so much of what it meant to be a Jedi that she can’t bring herself to abandon anything else. 

Jedi don’t have families, they don’t have attachments. They don’t have sisters and fathers. They have friends and colleagues, they have people they would put their lives on the line for, but that isn’t family. Not in the way J’onn’s offer means. Not in the way she knows Alex sees her. The offer of adoption is personal, it’s about building attachments where Kara should have none. It had been hard to let Kal-El leave without following him, but she’d been able to do it. She’d been able to watch him walk off knowing he was going to his death, because it was her duty and her loyalty to that outweighed her need to be by his side.

After all, that was what Jedi did. They followed their duty and the will of the Force. Attachments could blind them to what needed to be done. They could cloud emotion, cloud judgement. You can’t make rational decisions if your mind is clouded by emotions, or access the Force with the clarity needed to use it properly. Kara had been taught that fact since she came to the Temple. It was something she just knew had to be true.

“I understand that,” J’onn says patiently, looking between them. “But appearances are everything. If I were to tell people I had adopted you, whether true or not, then the protection of my clan name would be extended to you. As long as there was nothing to distinguish you from actual adoptees, no one would ever challenge otherwise, not on Mandalore.”

Kara has to admit the thought sounds promising. She’s no stranger to undercover missions even though she’d only been a Padawan for a few years. And this isn’t that different, though she does have to swallow down the feeling that it comes closer to the line than she should risk. As long as she can believe there’s a difference, it will have to be enough.

A quick glance at Alex proves that the other girl agrees, and probably with fewer reservations than Kara has. Where Kara has never really known family, Alex has never been without one. To her, family means security, even with the recent loss. And J’onn is good, and kind, and worthy of their trust. Kara knows that if things were different, if it were only Alex or if she could accept joining a family, that there wouldn’t be a debate. Alex would already have accepted the offer.

“Okay, J’onn,” Kara says, taking a deep breath. “Show us how to be Mandalorian.”

***

Alex tries to keep her breathing even as she ducks under yet another blow. If she lets herself get winded, it’s all over. Twisting to avoid another strike she swings out with her own weapon, meeting the blows of her opponent as he blocks each one. He’s good, but she can do this. As she twists to present a moving target she sees an opening and tries to take advantage, but before she can shift her weapon into position she’s hit in the side by a sideswipe she never saw coming.

_ “Osik,” _ she gasps as she hits the ground, too stunned to do more than watch as her opponent moves to stand over her. As he blocks the sun, Alex knows that this time she wasn’t good enough.

“You need to keep your guard up,” J’onn admonishes as he sheathes his practice blade, and Alex sighs in defeat. At least he’d stuck to human form this time, the first time he’d shifted in the middle of a fight Alex had been so surprised she’d completely forgotten to block. Even now that she knows to expect it, it’s still a shock every time he transforms, and she always loses soon after.

“I’m trying,” she complains, struggling to her feet with the help of his outstretched hand, wincing as she feels her side. Even through armor that blow had stung. She can’t wait to be done growing and get out of this durasteel crap and into real beskar. “You move so fast, I can’t keep up.” She pulls off the helmet with a sigh of relief as the cool breeze flows over her, wondering if she can do something about her suit’s cooling system. It doesn’t keep up anywhere near well enough when she gets moving.

“Your enemies won’t slow down for you, and neither will I,” J’onn says calmly, and Alex wants to groan at the familiar response. She’s heard it at least twice a practice session since they’d started two months ago. “You are doing better though, Alex. You lasted twice as long that time.”

“Didn’t stop me from collecting a new set of bruises,” she mutters as she starts walking slow circles around the practice yard to cool down.

“No, but it did delay them,” J’onn says as he laughs at her, earning a glare and a rude gesture that just makes him laugh more. As much as Alex has come to see him as almost a father, the way he treats her as an adult the way no one has before means she isn’t afraid to act out with him, just a little. She’d never been allowed to curse or be anything but perfectly polite on Ruusan, but here it seems to fit. In a culture of warriors and bounty hunters, politeness doesn’t seem to get much of a say. And that’s ignoring the criminal records Alex is sure half the planet holds.

“At least it’s Kara’s turn now,” Alex says as she stops to stretch. She’d worried about Kara getting hurt when the’d started training with J’onn, wary of anything that could bring harm to the girl she’s sworn to protect, but that particular fear had faded after just a few training sessions.

Kara wasn’t anywhere near as good as J’onn, but she had an amazing capacity for not being where his blows landed that did a lot to protect her from the hits Alex took with distressing frequency. One of the perks of Jedi blood, Alex supposes, though even that hasn’t let Kara score on J’onn yet. He’s just that much better than both of them.

The match comes to the expected end when J’onn manages to catch Kara by surprise, disarming her and holding his practice blade under her helmet until she raises her hands in surrender. Her bouts never seem to end with a blow the way Alex’s do, but they always end with J’onn winning.

“You’ve both gotten better,” J’onn praises as they cool down, not seeming even winded by the morning’s exertion. “Alex, I think you’ll soon be ready to train with some of the teens in town, the ones that haven’t started taking bounties of their own yet.” 

That’s something Alex has been looking forward to for a while now. She’s used to more interaction than just two people, and she’s been feeling trapped on J’onn’s property lately. And fighting different opponents with different styles will only help her get better, faster. The sooner she can hold her own in any battle, the sooner she can actually protect Kara. Not all battles are solved by a blaster, and Alex is determined to master everything she can.

“You really think so?” she asks carefully, trying to keep the eagerness from her voice. She knows Kara still struggles with how different Mandalorian life is to the Jedi path and doesn’t want to make her feel like she’s being left behind. But there’s something about learning to fight that calls to Alex, as if she should have been born here and not Ruusan.

“They’ll still be quite a bit better than you, but I do. I’ll speak with some of the other clans and see who they recommend. But a training partner will do you good.”

Alex makes a face at the thought that she’ll still be outmatched, but she understands. They’ve all been training for years, and she’s still a novice. Even her dedication to mastering everything as quickly as possible can’t make up the difference this soon.

After they’ve cooled down and had a quick meal Alex and Kara head to the range for target practice, and Alex pours just as much effort into it as she had the hand to hand combat earlier. She’s already a good shot with a rifle, so after a few dozen rounds to keep in practice with it she switches weapons to a smaller sidearm that J’onn had given her after watching her lug around the blaster rifle for a week. It’s harder to be accurate at any kind of distance with it, but Alex knows that if things go sideways quickly it might be the only weapon she has available.

Kara is frighteningly accurate, every shot landing exactly where she wants it to, but she’s clearly uncomfortable with the weapon. For her, it’s not so much target practice as getting used to fighting with something other than a blade. Blasters are for soldiers, and Kara still resists that thought. Alex doesn’t think she even knows she’s doing it, but it’s more and more obvious the longer Alex watches her.

There’s really nothing Alex can do though, so she leaves Kara to it and focuses on her own shots, learning to anticipate where the bolt will land. Kara knows how important it is to fit in and avoid drawing attention, and it won’t do any good for Alex to keep pointing it out. Better to let Kara handle it on her own and be there to support her when needed.

***

Kara knows they should have paid more attention to the time while they were shopping, but the thrill of being somewhere that wasn’t J’onn’s steading or the tiny town nearby had been almost intoxicating. Once they’d both gotten over their nerves at being amongst strangers it had been fun. No one gave them a second look in their armor, and their helmets gave them an anonymity that let Kara relax despite the crowds.

But now it’s dark and the streets are almost empty, and a small gang of bullies that smell strongly of ale is blocking their way back to the ship. It’s clear they’re going to try something, and Kara isn’t sure what to do about it. She’s supposed to hide, right? And she’s still not comfortable using violence as a way to solve conflicts, not without at least trying some kind of negotiation first.

Alex doesn’t seem to have the same issue, waving for Kara to stay with the hovercart of their purchases as she steps forward, head tilted appraisingly at the leader of the group. There are only five of them, but that’s five trained fighters against two half trained teenagers, and Kara doesn’t like those odds. Alex is good, very good, but she’s still learning.

“You guys mind getting out of our way?” Alex asks with an air of feigned casualness, hands loose at her side in the ready stance J’onn has taught them. “Kind of hard to get through when you’re blocking the street.” Despite the ease of her words it’s clear she’s ready for a fight, and Kara is afraid she’s going to find one.

Kara shifts in discomfort as laughs ring out at the sight of Alex poised to take them on alone, wishing she were brave enough to do something, wishing she didn’t feel weighed down and clumsy in her armor. She’s still not comfortable with the weight, it’s too restricting to someone who trained in graceful movement for so many years. But right now it’s the only thing other than Alex that’s offering any protection. She is glad for the helmet though. She’s just another Mando youth to them, they can’t see how terrified she looks beneath her helmet, or how young and vulnerable.

“You’re in Stallisk clan territory now, and that means you owe us a passage toll,” the leader of the group sneers at them, not bothering to don his own helmet. Only half of the group has theirs on in fact, clearly not worried about the threat from two teenagers. “So hand over some credits, or Adenn here will just have to take them anyway.”

Alex doesn’t move except to twitch slightly towards the grip of her blaster, but that’s enough to make the group in front of them nervous. Even drunk and undisciplined they’re still Mandalorians, still trained warriors. Any movement towards a weapon spells threat to them, and they react accordingly.

The sight of the men reaching for their own weapons has Kara instinctively moving to shield Alex, and her sudden involvement casts a layer of confusion over the rising tension. “Well, what do we have here, the quiet  _ hut’uun _ decides to step up at last,” the leader says, gesturing for his men to wait.

Kara ignores the insult and raises her chin defiantly, refusing to let them hurt Alex. “You will not hurt my sister,” she challenges, not realizing what she’d said until she hears Alex’s soft gasp over their shared link. But it’s the truth, one Kara has been avoiding for far too long, and she won’t take it back now.

The sudden confidence and involvement of a second fighter shifts the odds, and Kara is careful to mimic Alex’s ready stance, completely comfortable in her own skin as she waits to see what they’ll do. She doesn’t want to fight them, but she will if she has to. She can’t let them hurt Alex.

Suddenly attachment doesn’t seem like such a bad thing. Maybe she’d had it wrong all along. Maybe having a family isn’t something to avoid. Maybe it gives her something to put ahead of herself and her own well being. Because she can feel the Force flowing through her, stronger than it has since her Master had died, and she feels ready. She could take on all five fighters by herself.

But of course Alex won’t let her, would never let her face any threat by herself. As soon as Kara feels her get over the shock of the casual declaration Alex is moving to her side, just far enough from her to offer support without getting tangled up if they have to dodge. It’s a united front, and the thugs recognize that. The teens aren’t the easy marks they’d been hoping for.

“Nyn, maybe we should just let them through,” one of the helmeted figures says, and Kara nods at him.

“No need to cause a scene, right?” Kara tosses out in response, keeping her helmet trained on the leader as she keeps an eye on each of the followers. There are definitely perks to the heads up display of a helmet. Sometimes even the Force needs help.

The tense standoff continues for several long seconds and Kara can tell they’re talking on their own private channel, but she just stands calmly as she watches them, feeling Alex standing next to her just as ready to fight.

After the discussion presumably ends the thugs back to the side, hands held conspicuously away from their weapons as they let the sisters pass with their cart. Kara keeps an eye on them in her visor, thankful for wraparound views as they walk away. It looks far more confident to turn their back on them, but J’onn has drilled caution into them and if not for the display Kara wouldn’t dare walk away like this.

“So, sister huh?” Alex asks as they load the purchases, and Kara feels herself flush under her helmet.

“Alex,” Kara starts, not sure what to say or where she’s going with her explanation. After so long insisting that she can’t have a family, how does she tell Alex that everything has changed?

“No, it’s okay Kara. I know you only said it because they were threatening us.” There’s a sadness in Alex’s voice that Kara knows well, the same one that’s always there when Kara shies away from labelling them as family.

“No, I didn’t,” Kara says firmly, wanting Alex to understand. “Alex, I’ve been avoiding calling you my sister because I was trained to avoid attachments, but it’s too late for that. Maybe I was wrong all along, maybe all the Jedi were, but whether it’s right or wrong, I can’t lose you. You’re my sister, and even before I accepted that I was attached. Refusing to put a name to it doesn’t change that fact.”

Kara can feel how shocked Alex is at her words, but also how much they mean to her. Because Kara knows that Alex has felt the same way since before they’d landed on Mandalore. That she’d been holding herself back from considering Kara as a sister solely out of respect for Kara’s feelings. They’d only had each other and J’onn to lean on for two years now, two years of training and secrecy, and that had built a connection between them that Kara had been denying for too long.

“Come on, let’s get back to Buir,” Alex says softly, reaching out to grab Kara’s hand with a strong grip. And hearing Alex finally call J’onn ‘father’ cements things in Kara’s mind.

This is her family now, and she’ll do whatever it takes to keep them, and keep them safe.


	5. Chapter 5

“Come on, Danvers. You can do better than that.”

Alex was really starting to hate hearing those words. She was _trying_ damnit. It’s not like she enjoys going home with bruises the size of a bolo ball covering her chest and torso. She might not mind putting in the extra time and effort, but even she isn’t crazy enough to like those. Still, they mean she’s learning. If she ever stops getting them, it’ll mean no one is willing to teach her, which means she isn’t learning how to keep Kara safe.

“Let’s go again,” Alex says in reaction to the words, bringing her hands up to ready position. Her hand to hand skills still aren’t where she wants them, and that’s where she’s been focusing lately. She’s mastered most of the ranged weapons she’s had access to, can place delicate explosives with a finesse that impresses even J’onn, but she’s still getting her ass handed to her on a regular basis in these training sessions.

“You need a break before you collapse,” Maggie says, not returning to her own ready stance. “I’ll kick your ass any time, but you’re making stupid mistakes right now. There’s no challenge for me and no sense pushing for you.”

“I’ve got to master this,” Alex argues, not ready to back down. If she’s making stupid mistakes, she needs to learn how to fix them.

“And you will, but not if you kill yourself in training.” unlike the usual teasing tone Alex is familiar with, this time Maggie is deadly serious. “You’re not learning anything by trying to fight while you’re this exhausted. All you’re doing is getting hurt.” It sounds logical, and part of Alex knows it’s the truth. But the part of her that’s still struggling to master everything rebels at taking any time away from training.

“I feel like I should be better than this,” Alex complains as she doffs her helmet to drink some water, rational mind winning out over the urge to push harder than she should. “You’re two years younger than I am and you’re still beating me every time.”

“I’ve also been training since I was eight,” Maggie points out as she takes off her own helmet, and Alex makes a face at the logical response. “That’s half my life, Alex. You’ve been training for what, four years now? You’re coming along just fine.”

“You’re being nice, Sawyer. What’s the catch?” Alex asks with narrowed eyes as she carefully stretches to cool down.

“The catch is I’ve put too much effort into getting you trained up, I’m not willing to let my work go to waste just because you keel over. My time is a valuable thing, Danvers.” Maggie is back to teasing and Alex appreciates the chance. Emotion might not be a weakness, but that doesn’t mean she likes showing the deepest of hers, even to Maggie.

“Plus Kara would cry,” Alex points out with mock solemnity. It doesn’t last when Maggie shudders with dread at the thought, but Alex doesn’t mind. She might not be willing to completely open up to Maggie, but that doesn’t mean she feels the need to hide every emotion from her. In fact, other than Kara, Maggie is probably the person Alex feels most comfortable with. At least as far as she feels comfortable with anyone.

“True. If you get Kara set on me, I swear I’ll drag you back from the _manda_ myself to make you pay.” It’s her turn to seem serious now, and Alex can’t help smiling.

“Well then what do you suggest we do instead?” Alex asks. She’s trained with most of the fighters her age in town, but Maggie is the one she trusts the most and she has no desire to seek out someone else to fill her afternoon before J’onn swings into town to pick her up. The others are good, but their unconscious arrogance grates on Alex. They’re all so much better than she is, and they know it.

Maggie is too, but somehow Alex never feels judged when it’s the two of them. The skill Maggie has gained is evident, but she doesn’t treat Alex like a child that’s still learning. She treats her like an equal peer that just needs a little more practice.

“Tactics, I think,” Maggie says slowly. Probably Alex’s least favorite area of study.

“Fine,” Alex says, barely holding back a groan. She hates looking at maps and hypothetical situations, but she knows it’s important. She can’t just go rushing in the way she wants to, not without ending up dead. She has to plan first, _then_ she can rush in.

“Today is bodyguard day,” Maggie says with a raised brow that tells Alex the stifled groan had been noted. “Get cleaned up and cooled down and I’ll set up the sim.”

Groan or not Alex knows better than to argue. If she does Maggie will just make the sim that much harder. Instead she carefully stacks her armor plates by the door and changes the soaked bodysuit underneath. J’onn keeps promising a cooling system upgrade, but until then Alex sweats through her first every time.

“Okay, so who am I guarding today?” Alex asks once she’s changed and cool. “Politician, businessman, travelling family of four?” That’s why she hates running sims, they always seem ridiculous and unrealistic. Most bodyguard jobs are for criminals and fugitives, not people Alex actually cares about protecting.

“Oh no,” Maggie says with a smirk, and Alex knows she’s in trouble. “Today is going to be a little different. You’re having trouble giving these your all, aren’t you?

There’s no judgement in her voice, but Alex still winces at being caught. “I just can’t seem to make myself care like I should,” she admits. “It’s just a sim, and even then it’s for people I don’t care much about.”

“Which is why we’re protecting Kara today,” Maggie says. “We’ll do that until you’re used to giving everything, then we’ll work on developing a mindset where even if it’s someone else you give everything because your unconscious mind tells you it’s Kara.”

It shouldn’t work as well as it does, but Alex is used to the mental disciplines most Mandos use to focus in battle and somehow the added technique shifts right in. With an image of Kara in the ‘protect’ zone Alex throws everything she can into identifying every potential threat and weakness. And by the end of the sim, she’s scored higher than ever before.

“I knew it was just a matter of finding the key,” Maggie says as she shuts everything down. “Now we just have to train your mind to think every client is Kara and you’ll be good.”

“You’re using insider knowledge against me,” Alex teases playfully as she starts putting her armor back on. “Not fair play at all. Maybe telling you the truth was a mistake, if you’re gonna play dirty.”

“If by ‘telling’ me you mean ‘let me walk up on Kara practicing her special skills’ then probably not,” Maggie agrees, attaching her own plates. “But there’s no such thing as playing dirty, just using every weapon at your disposal.”

Alex shakes her head as she walks outside to wait for J’onn to show up. She can walk back to the steading, and has on numerous occasions, but it’s much easier to just take the speeder.

“She’s been asking when you’re coming to visit,” Alex says to change the subject before it turns to dangerous topics. She trusts Maggie to know and understand, but that trust doesn’t extend to anyone else. The others in town might not turn Kara out, their adoption by J’onn will ensure that much, but that doesn’t mean nothing will change if everyone knows. The current status quo works for everyone, and Alex isn’t interested in changing it.

“Tell her I’ll try to make it out after I get back from this contract,” Maggie says thoughtfully, and Alex frowns at the reminder. She knows that taking mercenary contracts is the most common way to support yourself and a family for Mandalorians, but that doesn’t mean she likes thinking about her friend going into danger.

“You better not disappoint her,” is all Alex says, the words she wants to say going unspoken as J’onn pulls up. _“K'oyacyi,_ Maggie.”

It’s a traditional Mandalorian goodbye, a command to stay alive that’s woven into their warrior culture, but Alex has never meant it more. Of all the people outside the small circle that is her family, Maggie is the one person Alex needs to stick around most. She’s lost enough in her life, she can’t take losing anyone else.

“Don’t worry Danvers, I’ll be back to kicking your ass soon enough,” Maggie says with a smirk, though Alex can tell she’d understood those unspoken words. “Short term contract, you’re only free of me for a month tops.”

“Hopefully my bruises have healed by then,” Alex calls back as she climbs into the speeder. J’onn is smirking her way, but she ignores him in favor of settling in. Just because she’s older than most Mandos when they marry doesn’t mean she’s going to put up with his attempts to arrange something between them. Maggie is a good friend, but Alex isn’t looking for more.

***

Kara looks up from the set of armor she’s polishing as she hears J’onn’s speeder pull up. She’d just put the finishing touches on it, and she’s glad to see she’d finished just in time. Walking to the door of the forge she waves a greeting to Alex and waits for her sister to come over the way she always does after training.

“Hey Kara, Maggie says she’ll swing by after her latest contract is up,” Alex calls when she gets close enough, and Kara smiles at the news.

“Good, she can help me calibrate that range finder you broke,” Kara teases, reaching out to pull Alex into a hug. Even after years it still feels weird to hug someone wearing full armor, but Kara doesn’t mind.

“It’s not my fault I didn’t realize it measured in base 8,” Alex groans, throwing her hands up in defeat when she steps back. “But yeah, I’m sure she’d be glad to help.”

Watching as Alex takes her helmet off to clip it to her belt reminds Kara of the gift waiting inside the forge, and she shifts nervously as she debates whether to give it to Alex now. She wants the moment to be special after all. Maybe she should get cleaned up a little, change out of her dirty forge leathers and wipe the grease from her hands and face. And surely Alex could use a chance to relax first too.

But as always her sister knows every one of her tells, and as soon as Kara shifts she can tell Alex knows something is up. And as much as Kara still dislikes wearing her armor, suddenly she misses the protection it offers. The weight of the plates is a reminder to keep still when she’s trying to hide something, and the helmet shields her face and her traitorous expressions from view. Even that might not be enough to fool Alex, but at least she wouldn’t be so painfully transparent.

“Come here, I have something to show you,” Kara says before Alex can ask what’s going on. There’s no sense pretending she hasn’t been caught already, but she still wants to be the one to do the revealing on her own terms.

“Oh, did you finally finish the super secret project you’ve been working on?” Alex as as she follows Kara inside. Kara shoots her a surprised look at that, she’d been sure Alex had no idea she was working on anything special. But the look just makes Alex laugh, grinning back at Kara when she calms. “Come on, you told me you were working on engine brackets but you’ve been able to make those in like ten minutes for years now. So either there’s a stack of them taller than I am, or you had a project going.”

Well damn, Kara is really going to need to work on her excuses. She’s thought that one was foolproof.

But that isn’t the point, and Kara quickly refocuses. “Okay, so yes there was a project, and yes I’m done. At least, I am as long as you like it.” That’s the one worry Kara has, even though she knows it’s likely to be unfounded.

“Just relax and show me,” Alex says with a reassuring smile, always a calming force for Kara’s nerves.

That smile turns to a look of surprise and amazement when Kara pulls back the sheet she’d thrown over the armor, revealing the completed set to Alex’s gaze. And if that weren’t enough, Kara can feel how much the gift means to Alex even with her Force senses mostly withdrawn.

Kara knows why this is such a big deal to Alex, so knowing that Alex likes the gift as much as she likes what it represents means a lot to her. This is full spec beskar armor custom made to fit Alex, with every upgrade Kara could fit in making it the best it possibly could be. It’s a sign that Alex is finally ready to call herself an adult, a fully trained Mandalorian warrior.

J’onn had helped Kara understand why the beskar plates meant so much, but it was still hard for her to grasp sometimes. To Kara armor is just a means to an end, protection and disguise all in one. Her armor, even though it had been only the lower spec durasteel plates that offered far less protection, had been important only in terms of the anonymity it brings. To her, it’s still a disguise she wears.

But to Alex it’s more than that. Alex has taken everything about Mandalorian culture and embraced it in a way Kara can never understand. And so to Alex, this set of armor means something very different.

To Alex, a set of armor like this is confirmation that she’s good enough. That she’s managed to accomplish what she’d set out to do when she’d started training. The cost of a good set of beskar plates is high and growing higher every day as the Empire buys up as much of the raw iron as they can, so for J’onn to be willing to spend the credits means he believes she’s ready.

And the fact that Kara had forged it herself doubles that sentiment. Both sisters know what the other means to them, and how strongly they care for each other. THough they hadn’t been born to the same family, their shared loss had bound them closer than blood. And while Kara can’t understand the draw Alex feels towards Mandalorian culture, can’t set aside her loyalty to the Jedi who had first raised her, that doesn’t mean she won’t support Alex in every way she can.

“If you don’t like the color I can repaint it,” Kara says as she watches Alex reach out to trace the clan sigils she’d painted onto the helmet. “I know you’ve been using a lighter green on your durasteel plates, but I thought this darker shade fit you better. And the blue shoulder plates seemed to fit, but if you want anything different-”

“It’s perfect, Kara,” Alex says with a wide smile, cutting off her rambling before she can really get started. “Thank you.”

“Of course, Alex,” Kara says before pulling her sister in for a deep hug, grateful that even the durasteel she’s still wearing provides enough protection that Kara doesn’t need to focus too carefully on her strength. She usually has amazing control, but sometimes when she’s emotional that control gets harder to maintain.

“Okay, but where’s your set?” Alex asks when they finally separate. “Don’t tell me I’m the only one who gets a present today.”

“No, I made myself a set as practice to make sure I knew how the metal would react when I made yours,” Kara admits, pointing towards the corner where her own set of light gray armor sits. She’d worn durasteel plates the same shade of green as Alex’s until now, but she wants her permanent set to reflect something deeper and personal.

“For your first family?” Alex asks softly when she sees the color. Gray for a lost love. After Maggie had walked up on Kara practicing lightsaber forms in the barn they’d been careful of when and how they talk about Kara’s past, but the silent understanding between them makes specifics unnecessary.

“Yeah,” Kara says, mind flashing back to the friends she’d lost for a moment before she can pull herself back to the present. “I debated, but it was the only thing that felt right.”

Just as Alex clings to Mandalorian culture, Kara holds to the memories of her first family. Once she’d been able to hold her lightsaber without feeling as if she could be shot at any moment, she’d carved the names of those she’d lost into its hilt. That and the one Mandalorian tradition she’d accepted without reservation, reciting the names of the dead each night to keep them alive in your heart, help remind her of what she’s honoring. She might not be able to be a Jedi anymore, not really, but she can still remember what she’d lost.

“I think it fits you,” Alex says as she smiles softly at Kara in support. “And no one asks about loss, not unless you’re asking for help getting revenge.” The joke breaks the melancholy and Kara laughs just as Alex had hoped.

“Now that’s what’s really not my style,” Kara points out, helping to keep the tone light. “But anyway, try yours on so I can see how it fits!”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Alex laughs, already unclipping her old plates. She won’t get the full experience without the paired flight suit Kara had upgraded with features to track biometrics and other helpful stats, but she’ll get enough. “You too, I want to see us together.”

Kara shakes her head playfully but grabs her own set, clipping the plates to her forge outfit even though it’s really not designed for that. It won’t be a fully secure fit, but it’ll be enough for Alex to see.

“You look great,” Kara says when she turns to see Alex sliding on her helmet. She’d had a good idea of what the effect would be, but seeing it like this is entirely different.

Even though the traditional armor is as familiar to Kara as Jedi robes had once been, somehow Alex exudes a _presence_ in her new armor that makes her seem somehow primed. It’s as if she could spring into action at a moment’s notice. And though Kara has never doubted Alex’s ability to protect her, looking at her sister like this she has no doubt nothing short of an army could get through.

And with Kara at her side, both sisters working to protect each other, even that army wouldn’t stand a chance.

“So do you, Kara,” Alex says, standing still as she presumably cycles through the new HUD to familiarize herself. She’s already used to the 360° wrap around view, so Kara isn’t surprised that Alex had seen her even though she’s still facing away. “And _wow_ is this an upgrade.”

“We made sure we got you the best,” Kara says with a shrug, shifting her plates so they settle comfortably over her loose fitting forge outfit. She’s already used to hers from the hours spent checking fit, so now she’s just waiting for Alex to check hers out. And her systems aren’t anywhere near as advanced as the ones in Alex’s suit anyway, giving her less to adjust. She won’t be taking contracts after all, or even leaving the steading more than she has to.

Alex swears she isn’t going to take contracts either, but Kara knows her sister. Mandalore can only offer so much for her, and Alex deserves to see the galaxy beyond the small towns and fields that cover most of the planet’s surface. Even though it’s been years Kara still remembers how intently Alex had listened to her tales of Coruscant. And even with how Mandalore has become Alex’s home, it can’t offer her everything.

Knowing this, knowing that one day Alex would almost certainly leave Mandalore for one contract or another, Kara had packed everything she could think of into Alex’s armor. She can’t protect Alex the same way she protects her, not without using powers that will only cause more trouble for them both, but Kara _can_ do everything possible to keep Alex safe.

“Thank you,” Alex says again as she finally turns, checking through her range of motion as she does. “This is amazing. It feels completely different from my old armor.”

“Well that was the point,” Kara teases, pulling Alex in for another hug. “Can’t have you getting hurt after all.”

***

Kara can tell an immediate difference in attitudes a few weeks later when she and Alex go back into town for the first time in their new armor. There’s a level of subconscious respect from the others. Alex had earned a measure of respect already over the years with as much effort as she’d poured into her training, but there’d still been an undercurrent of dismissal in every interaction. To the fully trained adult Mandalorians who lived and died by their armor, the durasteel plates they’d sported before stood out.

Now they’re in proper beskar, and the difference is clear. Even Kara gets new respect, and the people in town know next to nothing about her other than her skills at metalworking. And given Kara’s dedication to not standing out in any way, even that skill has remained understated. She’s a bit of a mystery, but J’onn’s adoption means that no one questions her.

But this is different, a new level of inclusion that takes her aback at first. The nods of greeting seem warmer, and the few faces not concealed by helmets are openly sympathetic as they take in the color of her plates. The time and effort that goes into a suit like their new ones is significant, and it broadcasts their assumed accomplishments without a word being said.

The difference becomes even clearer when Alex takes on one of her temporary training partners while Maggie is away. With the added confidence that comes from acceptance she fights better than she ever has before. It’s not the first time she’s won a fight, but it is the fastest, and by the widest margin.

“Knew you had it in you, Danvers,” a voice calls from the door as Alex shakes hands with her opponent after their bout.

Kara watches with a smirk as Alex instantly straightens, everything about her seeming to brighten as she turns to face Maggie. The two are perfect for each other, and Kara wishes she could convince Alex that romance isn’t and shouldn’t be out of reach. Even as dedicated as Alex has become to protecting her, that doesn’t mean she has to sacrifice her happiness for Kara’s sake.

Now only if Alex would see that too.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets a little deeper into J'onn's background, and I've changed a few things to mesh the canons. If you're confused feel free to reach out here or on tumblr (my handle is the same both places) and I'll explain. As I was writing I also toyed with the idea of typing up a sort of "episode notes" for each new chapter and posting over there that goes into backstories and specifics for this canon. If that's something you guys want, let me know and I'll start doing that and linking from here.

With her new armor, Alex starts spending more time in town with the others her age. She’s still careful with her secrets, reluctant to share, but she’s still enjoying the new camaraderie. How Kara manages to know exactly what she needs so often, Alex will never know. She’ll have to settle with being grateful she does.

The one negative is that spending that much time around mercenaries and bounty hunters means Alex’s long buried desire to see the galaxy is constantly called to the surface. She can’t help wanting to see the places they describe for herself, even if they’re so often torn by war and fighting now. She’s only ever known farms and wildlands, never seen the cities and towers she hears described. And she wants to, she desperately wants to.

But her duty to Kara comes first, and Alex will never forget that. She can’t. Kara is the only thing she has left to remember her parents, she can’t lose her. She can’t take any risk that could take Kara from her.

That doesn’t make it easier to sit and listen with no stories of her own to chime in with, but Alex is used to things being hard. She’s used to it, used to never being completely happy. She isn’t even certain that true happiness exists in the galaxy anymore. Not in a galaxy that can take so much and seem so unaffected. Not in a galaxy that lets the Empire exist.

“Hey, you okay there Danvers?” she hears one day when she’s sitting with a few of the fighters who are back between contracts. She hadn’t even realized she’d gone so quiet, but of course Maggie had. And of course she’d called Alex on a private channel over their helmets rather than ask where everyone can hear.

“I’m fine,” she answers shortly, knowing Maggie won’t believe her but hoping she won’t press right now. Private channel or no, Alex isn’t ready to share her insecurities and weaknesses around anyone else. Maggie she trusts, but the rest of them she doesn’t know well enough to be that open with.

“Like hell you are,” Maggie says with typical Mandalorian bluntness, and Alex smiles despite herself. She’s still sometimes surprised by how direct this culture is, especially when she’s still so guarded.

“If you’ll give me a ride back to the steading, I’ll tell you on the way and you can stay for dinner like you promised Kara,” Alex offers, hoping Maggie accepts. She doesn’t want to admit how much she likes Maggie’s company, but the fact is that the long speeder rides with the other woman are some of her favorite memories. They seem to get each other in a way Alex has never found with anyone else.

“Deal,” Maggie says quickly, “but only because I promised Kara and I know she’d be upset if I made you walk while I took the easy way.”

“She’d probably make you walk back,” Alex agrees, though they both know Kara would never do such a thing. She’s too nice for that.

“Forget the walk, I can just imagine the look she’d give me,” Maggie says, and Alex sees the slight shudder that runs through her even from a distance and through her armor. And it doesn’t seem feigned either.

Kara just has that ability, the ability to look at you and make you fall over yourself to apologize for hurting her. Alex still can’t tell if it’s intentional or subconscious, but whichever it is, she’s never been able to deny Kara anything. 

“Yeah, you’d better not make her pout,” Alex says with a laugh, and just like that her melancholy fades. Maggie’s as good at helping with that as Kara is, and Alex is grateful she has both of them in her life.

“I’d just tell her it was all your fault,” Maggie tosses back, and Alex stops laughing at once.

“You wouldn’t,” she says, almost irrationally afraid of the very possibility.

“Try me.”

Alex isn’t sure she’d ever have the courage.

***

“So, spill,” Maggie says as soon as the speeder doors close behind them, lifting off and setting a course for J’onn’s. And while Alex hadn’t expected much reprieve, she’d at least hoped they’d make it out of town before Maggie started questioning her. It’s not a very long trip by speeder after all, so every second spent in silence is one less she has to spend talking about herself.

She should have known Maggie wouldn’t let her out of it that easily. 

“I wish I could see what everyone else gets to,” Alex says softly, so quietly that she isn’t sure Maggie’s heard her at first.

“You know, you always could. I’d rather have you at my side than half of the town. And I’d prefer you over someone I don’t know any day.”

“You know I can’t,” Alex says, louder this time. “I can’t leave Kara alone that long, what if something happened while I was halfway across the galaxy?”

“You mean you won’t,” Maggie says bluntly, not letting Alex hide behind her usual denials and rationalizations. “Kara can take care of herself, and so can J’onn. There’s no reason you and he shouldn’t be able to trade off taking the missions you need to keep the place running.”

“Fine, I won’t,” Alex concedes, hoping if she takes that line early enough that Maggie will forget about trying to convince her otherwise. She knows that Kara can take care of herself, that she’s learned the same skills Alex had over the years even if she chooses not to use them, but that’s not the point.

Protecting Kara has become the entire focus of her life. There’s nothing else that matters to Alex more, and nothing that ever will. Her parents had given their lives to make sure they both got away, and Kara is the reason for their sacrifice. If Kara dies, if Alex doesn’t protect her, then that sacrifice means nothing. And she can’t handle that ever happening.

“So that’s it then?” Maggie asks, frustration clear in her voice. “You’re just gonna spend your life on a farm, go into town and fight a few people to call it training, and throw away your potential?”

“If that’s what it takes to keep Kara safe, then yes,” Alex says, trying not to snap. She knows Maggie doesn’t understand, but that doesn’t matter. Alex knows what she’s doing, and she’s more than willing to sacrifice this to make sure Kara is taken care of. “I know you just want what’s best for me, Maggie, but this is it. This is what I need to do.”

Maggie doesn’t say anything else, and Alex settles back into her seat hoping she hasn’t managed to ruin their friendship. Even if she’s only strained it, she’ll still feel guilty, but this is the one thing she’s not prepared to budge on. She knows what she’s doing.

Thankfully they don’t have much farther to go, and as soon as they’re climbing out of the speeder Kara meets them with a smile. Her effortless joy goes a long way towards easing tensions, and Alex is once again grateful that whatever else the universe has thrown her way, it’s also given her a sister like Kara. 

“You’re going to apologize to her for whatever you did,” Kara whispers as she sends Maggie in ahead of her to taste the newest recipe she’d been trying out. “I can feel the frustration and guilt coming off of you both without even trying, so fix it.”

“Don’t tell me you’re trying to set us up too,” Alex groans, recognizing the look on Kara’s face as the same one she’s seen J’onn wearing more than once.

“Not this time,” Kara says with a wink, before falling serious again. “Alex, you deserve to be happy, and I think Maggie could be that for you. But I also know you have your reasons for not trying, and as your sister I respect those. But I will not let you throw away a friendship if I can help it.”

Alex doesn’t say anything, but only because there isn’t anything to say. Kara has always seen her clearer than anyone else has. She understands why Alex makes the decisions she does and though Alex knows she doesn’t agree with them, Kara has never tried to change her.

Instead she just nods and follows Maggie towards the kitchen, Kara close behind. Apologizing and explaining won’t be easy, but Maggie deserves it. And she deserves to know exactly why Alex is choosing this.

***

“Danvers, you guys home?” Maggie’s voice comes over her comm without warning, and Alex instinctively looks around for trouble as she answers. Maggie sounds tense and distracted, and those are never good things when you’re talking about a trained warrior.

“Yeah, we’re all at the main steading buildings. Everything okay?” Alex doesn’t want to assume the worst, but everything in her training and instincts is telling her that whatever this is, it won’t be good. It just isn’t like Maggie to be anything less than supremely confident.

“Can’t say over an open comm,” is all Maggie gives her, but Alex understands the potential security risks of sharing details on even encrypted links. “Just know we’ve got a medical situation coming in and have J’onn ready.”

Maggie isn’t using any of the code words that mean trouble, so Alex relaxes just a fraction as she switches channels to call J’onn. She’d go find him instead, but that’ll take time she could be using to prep the guest room. They don’t have many med supplies on hand, but if Maggie is bringing whoever it is here instead of into town, there has to be a reason. It wouldn’t be the first time a guest room has been used for emergency surgery on this planet, and it wouldn’t be the last.

“Did she tell you anything else?” Kara asks as she shows up to help, risking a little help from the Force as she joins Alex in finishing up the preparations. The ability to move that little bit faster, and occasionally move things without needing to move saves them some time. And since the shutters are already securely closed to prevent anyone from seeing whoever it is Maggie is bringing, Alex doesn’t bother lecturing her on the slip.

“Only that it’s a med situation and we need J’onn standing by,” Alex says as she lays out bandages and dressings so they’ll be close at hand if needed. “She wasn’t going to tell me anything else over the comm, so I didn’t take the time to ask.”

“Hey, I’m sure she’s okay,” Kara says softly, turning to put a comforting hand on Alex’s shoulder as she continues shifting things behind her with the Force. “Maggie would have told you if she was hurt, you know that right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Alex says automatically, not sure she believes it even if she knows it’s probably true. She won’t believe it until she can actually see Maggie for herself.

“Come on, I think we’re about as set up here as we’re going to be. Let’s get out of our armor and get cleaned up so we can help,” Kara says, a knowing look her only reaction to the clear avoidance. 

“You go ahead, I’m not taking this off until I know the situation,” Alex says, forcing a smile to get Kara to stop looking at her with that worried look. J’onn and Kara should be able to handle giving whatever medical attention needs administered without her, and she wants to be ready in case the situation is more serious than they realize.

Kara doesn’t argue, just nods and goes to find J’onn as Alex heads to grab a blaster rifle, just in case. There’s no harm in being prepared.

They don’t have to wait much longer before Maggie is landing next to the small ship J’onn uses when he takes contracts, and the hatch is lowering before she’s even on the ground. J’onn goes racing up as soon as the ship settles, but Kara stays back, which Alex is grateful for. It’s hard enough watching her father run into an unknown situation with no armor and no weapon beyond a small blaster, she doesn’t know that she could watch Kara do the same.

But J’onn comes down again after only a few minutes, carrying a dark shape in his arms as Maggie walks beside him, holding pressure on what Alex assumes is probably a projectile wound of some kind.

As soon as Kara sees them she’s off, and Alex follows slowly behind, carefully keeping off to the side to make sure she has clear lines of sight on the entrance to the ship. She already feels better seeing Maggie approach, the fist sized lump of dread in her chest easing as she sees her friend up and moving, but she isn’t going to relax until she knows what’s going on.

“Who is this?” Kara asks as she reaches the pair, taking over the task of holding pressure from Maggie. “No, that can wait, I can sense she’s slipping. J’onn, we need to get her inside now.”

Kara takes the lead without needing to say a word, brow furrowing in the way that tells Alex she’s reaching out to the Force, and suddenly this visitor seems more dangerous than Alex is willing to risk. But getting Kara away from someone who needs help is next to impossible, so Alex doesn’t say anything. She’ll keep extra watches for a while, make sure that neither their new guest or Kara’s Force use has attracted any attention.

“Anyone else on the ship?” Alex says as she finally reaches Maggie’s side, staring at it in mistrust.

She’s going to do a full sweep anyway, but she wants to hear an explanation from Maggie first. Kara hadn’t reacted as if she felt anyone else, but Alex isn’t willing to trust that. She can’t sense what Kara can, doesn’t know how to trust abilities she can’t explain. Alex prefers the certainty of the world through a rifle scope. Her equipment and training she knows, can understand.

“No, and I checked for tracking beacons three different times before I dared come this way,” Maggie says, obviously understanding Alex’s mistrust. “I swear Alex, I took every precaution I could before I even set course for Mandalore.”

A nod is all the reaction Alex gives as she brings her rifle to ready position, suddenly wondering where Maggie should be as she does her sweep. She wants her within sight, but having an unknown force at her back while clearing the ship is a level of trust that Alex isn’t sure she’s capable of right now. As much as she knows Maggie, as much as she trusts her under most circumstances, any threat to Kara’s safety renders everything else null.

“Want me to chain myself to the landing gear while you search?” Maggie asks, seeming to sense Alex’s hesitation. “I understand, Alex, don’t worry about being safe, okay? Just tell me what you need me to do, and I’ll do it.”

The understanding in her voice does a lot to quell the worst of Alex’s fears, enough that she can make a decision without wondering if it’s going to end up getting her killed. This is Maggie in front of her, the one person in the galaxy she trusts almost as much as she trusts J’onn. If Alex can’t trust her, then there’s no point even trying anymore, because even she can’t stand against the entire universe.

“Go help J’onn and Kara, they need to know what happened,” Alex says, noting the surprise in Maggie’s eyes before pushing it away to focus on the ship in front of her. Not only is she not keeping Maggie out of the way by force, but Alex is sending her to Kara’s side. It’s a level of trust that Maggie obviously understands the gravity of, and without another word she turns and heads inside to help.

Alex puts the lingering worry out of her mind as she starts up the ramp, knowing that she just has to trust J’onn and Kara are able to handle it if she’s somehow completely wrong. Right now, the potential danger on the ship is what needs her attention.

Thankfully Alex finds nothing, even when she activates the fancy sensors Kara had built into her armor. She doesn’t feel foolish at her caution though, she knows well enough by now to avoid that particular pitfall. Even if a search turns up nothing, it’s the act of searching that actually matters. You have to be sure, you can’t assume anything.

Now that she’s no longer worried trouble is on the way, or at least no longer as worried, Alex heads inside to help out however is needed. Her armor goes stacked carefully by the door ready to be thrown on if needed, and she washes up as quickly as possible before heading to the spare room and impromptu surgical theater.

“What can I do to help?” she asks when she reaches the door, knowing that jumping in without direction won’t do any good.

“She’s got shrapnel in her side I need to get out,” Kara says from where she’s bent over the still form in concentration. “Buir is keeping her mind from shutting down, but I need you to help Maggie bandage the smaller wounds while I take care of this one.”

“What do you mean Buir is keeping her mind from shutting down?” Alex asks as she grabs a few bandages and crosses the room to stand next to Maggie. Her hands move without direction, combat first aid as much a part of her training as fighting. The most serious injuries are her first priority, and there are plenty of those. Whatever happened to this woman, it wasn’t good.

“The pain is causing her to withdraw,” J’onn says from where he’s standing with his eyes closed, hands on the woman’s temples as he frowns in concentration. “But our kind cannot survive being cut off from our bonds for very long, and in her case that means at all.”

“She’s a Gurlanin?” Alex asks in shock, hands stilling until Maggie elbows her side. “I thought there weren’t many of your kind left.”

“There aren’t,” J’onn says shortly, frown deepening for a moment. “But we can discuss that later, right now you need to get her stabilized so we can give her a sedative that will still her mind and ease her pain. That will keep her from pulling away for at least a short while.”

There’s nothing else to say to that, so Alex focuses completely on doing what she can for the worst of the injuries she sees. It’s obvious that even the worst of those are nothing compared to the major wound Kara is still struggling with, but they still need attention.

It’s as she sprays a particular deep burn with bacta that Alex begins to piece together the scope and type of injuries. And with Kara starting to place careful, even stitches to the gash she’d been struggling with, she decides it’s finally safe to ask.

“What was she doing so close to a grenade when it went off?” she says quietly. “You were on a bodyguard mission, one that was supposed to be nothing.”

“Supposed to be,” Maggie says with a grimace. “Apparently the man I was guarding had somehow come under suspicion of being a Rebel sympathizer. He’d thought the increased attention he was getting was because of a business deal that didn’t screw over the little guys enough for those doing the investing.”

Alex nodded, that was the usual kind of contract Maggie took. She cared more about knowing her skills were being used for someone who deserved them than just to make as much money as she could. It was admirable, but in today’s galaxy the people like that often had more than their fair share of enemies and this wasn’t the first protective detail that had ended in a firefight. It was the first that had ended in serious injury though, and for a selfish moment Alex was glad that the injury wasn’t Maggie’s.

“So where does she come in?” Alex asks after a moment.

“The Empire sent a small force to take my guy in,” Maggie answers slowly, and Alex looks up sharply. “They weren’t in uniform, probably to avoid drawing attention, so I didn’t realize who they were until we’d already started exchanging fire. M’gann here was a contact I’d picked up, someone who I was hoping could get past security and find out what plans those investors had to take out my protectee. We were meeting when the attack came, and she was too close to one of the blasts.”

“And the Empire?” Alex asks, already mentally preparing an escape route and relocation. Maggie might have been cautious about making sure she wasn’t followed, but that doesn’t mean much if the Empire is on her trail.

“They got what they came for and pulled back,” Maggie says with a bleak look, one that Alex understands immediately. Failing to protect your charge is the hardest part of bodyguard jobs, because you have to care about their safety. Mercenary work and bounties don’t come with that depth, so failing doesn’t hurt as much beyond a blow to your pride.

“If they pulled back then why couldn’t you take M’gann to a doctor?” Kara speaks up from where she’s placing the last few stitches. “And why couldn’t you tell Alex what was going on?”

“I don’t know any Gurlanin doctors,” Maggie says, staring pointedly at where J’onn is still standing with his hands on M’gann’s head. “I didn’t know about the whole dying without him thing, but I did know that if anyone was going to know about her physiology it would be him.”

It makes sense to Alex, even with her level of paranoia about the whole situation. And advertising you’d just been in a firefight with the Empire might not attract much notice from the average Mandalorian, but the garrison down by Keldabe wouldn’t be as forgiving. At very least they’d have reason to look this way, and Alex knows the dangers in that.

“I think we managed everything a doctor could anyway,” Alex says as she looks down at the bandages covering M’gann’s body. “We can get better supplies on our next run into town, or head down to Keldabe where the purchase won’t get noticed.”

“It will have to be you and Kara,” J’onn says, finally pulling back from M’gann as Kara gives her a sedative and painkiller. “I won’t be able to move very far from her side for some time. Her mind is too fragile, even while she’s sedated and not pulling away from the pain without an active connection she won’t survive long.”

Alex freezes at what that might mean. She can’t deal with it now, not when she’s exhausted from the work trying to keep M’gann alive. Right now is time for denial.

“Why don’t we get cleaned up and get some food into us?” she asks, ignoring the looks both Kara and J’onn are shooting her way. If she wants to cling to an unhealthy coping mechanism then she will, damnit.

***

A week later, there’s no time for denial.

The numbers aren’t good, not that Alex had expected them to be. With the added and unexpected expense of supplies for M’gann’s treatment, the accounts are looking a little grim. Normally that would be J’onn’s cue to take a contract or two, and Alex can’t help asking even though she already knows the answer. “Are you sure you still can’t leave M’gann?”

“Her condition is still too unstable, if I leave there’s no way she’ll survive,” J’onn says, looking at her steadily. “I know this is hard for you, Alex, but this is the only way.”

He’s right, Alex knows he’s right, but that doesn’t make it any easier. “Short missions only,” she finally says as she gives in, her eyes closed against the feeling of guilt rising in her chest. “I’ll take more, but I’ll need to come back here in between.”

If she’s going to leave Kara’s side, leave the planet entirely, there’s no way Alex will be able to stay away longer than a week or two at a time. Even knowing her sister is in J’onn’s capable hands, she’ll worry too much to be able to give her contracts the focus they deserve, the focus that will keep her alive.

“Alex, I know this is difficult for you, but even without the necessity you deserve this chance. You know I will protect Kara with my life, just as I would protect you. You should take this chance to see more of the galaxy than just one sector of this planet.” J’onn’s voice is even, reassuring. He’s still looking out for her the way he has since she’d crashed here with Kara.

“It’s still hard to leave,” Alex says, staring down at her boots as she fights with herself. “I haven’t been away from Kara since she first came to us. I don’t know if I know how to leave.”

“One foot in front of the other,” J’onn says with a kind smile. “And always remembering that leaving is the first step to coming back.”

Alex nods, acknowledging the truth of his words even if they don’t help just yet, and goes to find Kara. She’ll need to explain, even if Kara probably already knows and understands.

Sure enough Kara is in the main room waiting for her, knowing look on her face. She’d probably known this was going to happen from the moment J’onn revealed he couldn’t leave M’gann even to go into town.

“Maggie has a line on a contract for two guards,” Kara says before Alex can say anything. “She’s going to ask if you want the second spot, the client gave her control over who she brings with her. And it’s only for as long as it takes to get him safely from one planet to another, and settled when you get there. Three weeks max, probably closer to two.”

“I- what?” Alex asks, too thrown by the way Kara seems to have figured everything out to focus on the actual details. “I haven’t even told you I need to go, and you have a contract lined up for me?”

“I asked Maggie to be on the lookout for short contracts that need two fighters,” Kara says with a shrug. “Come on, Alex. We both knew you’d end up leaving sooner or later. Why do you think I made your new armor so fancy?”

This isn’t at all what Alex had been expecting, and she sits down heavily across from Kara as she processes. “You knew I’d leave you?”

“I knew you deserve more than being chained to my side,” Kara corrects, voice gentle as she lets Alex adjust. “Alex, I know why you protect me, and I will always be thankful for that. I will always be thankful for what your parents gave us both. But I can’t expect you to throw away your chances for happiness because you think you can’t leave me alone.”

Having Kara’s permission should make things easier, but somehow it doesn’t. It might eventually, but for now Alex just feels guilty that she’s made Kara deal with this for so long. It doesn’t even make sense, she’s well aware of that, but it doesn’t matter. She still feels what she feels.

“I’ll miss you,” is all she says, knowing that Kara can probably sense her guilt but hoping she doesn’t make a big deal out of it. And though she frowns, Kara doesn’t say anything. She just rises to her feet and crosses the room to pull Alex into a hug.

“And I’ll miss you. But this is what we both need, Alex. Think of it that way, and stay safe, okay?” Kara whispers, holding her almost too tightly. But Alex welcomes the strain, knows it means Kara is feeling too emotional to fully regulate her strength. And if Alex is going to make Kara feel this way, then she deserves the mild discomfort.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” Alex promises when the hug ends. “Three weeks, tops, right?”

“Three weeks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this fic is pretty Alex heavy right now, and the main romance is Sanvers even though I've tagged Supercat as well. Rest assured that Kara will shift into a more central role, and the Supercat will happen. Cat should show up in a chapter or two, but Alex's story is the driving force behind her appearance. So I know it's a lot of setup if you're here for Supercat, but I promise it's coming.
> 
> Also, because I've gotten a few questions about it, I don't know how many or even if I'll bring over characters from Star Wars canon into this. With the time period this is set in, most of the characters most explored in the EU are children or teenagers at this point. That leaves me with secondary characters whose backstories I'm less familiar with. Not saying it won't happen, but I make no promises. If you have a specific character feel free to send me a message on tumblr and I'll see if I can work them in.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay on this chapter! Supercat Week kind of kicked my ass more than I thought it would. But I'm back on track and will be resuming my regular posting schedule going forward.

The first time Alex leaves Mandalore, she has to let Maggie pilot the ship while she stays in her bunk, holding to the frame to keep herself in place. It feels so wrong to be leaving Kara, even knowing she has her sister’s blessing, even knowing there isn’t another choice.

“Hey, we just made the jump,” Maggie says, not long after Alex had felt the shift that told her the same. “How’re you holding up?”

“I’m fine,” Alex lies, forcing her grip on the bed frame into something less white knuckled, knowing Maggie will see right through her anyway. And sure enough a look is quickly sent her way, Maggie not even bothering to hide how thoroughly unimpressed she is by the lie. “Fine, I’m not. But I will be.”

“Just remember to keep your head in the mission,” Maggie says, giving Alex something to focus on. “Shouldn’t be anything major, but any time a client is willing to shell out for more than one escort, assume the worst. If they shell out enough to cover a full three shifts, sleep in armor with rifle ready.”

Alex nods, committing the first of her ‘hands on’ lessons to memory. If she focuses on that, she can get through this. She just has to keep her mind from wandering, keep herself in the hyper focused battle state she’s been trained to reach. It’s not the healthiest for long stretches, but she just has to get through this mission. Once she’s gone on one without disaster striking, she’ll be a lot more comfortable leaving Kara behind.

Not that she’ll ever feel truly comfortable with the thought, not when she can so easily think of hundreds of ways for Kara to be hurt while she’s away. But once she has proof that they’re just intrusive thoughts, just the product of her imagination, she’ll be able to fight them.

“How long until landing?” Alex asks as she settles into the breathing exercises and mental state, knowing Maggie is looking at her in concern but not caring.

“We’ll be landing in four hours, briefing in five. When we land, you’ll prep the ship while I do a quick recce of the surrounding strip. We’ll meet with the client once that’s done, and as soon as he pays, we’re on guard.” Maggie doesn’t elaborate, doesn’t ask if she’s okay, and Alex is grateful for that. Once again, Maggie seems to know exactly what she needs, to understand exactly what’s going on in her head.

“Got it.” Four hours should be all the time she needs to get her emotions under control. Four hours to pretend to sleep, four hours until she has to actually do anything. Once she has a mission in front of her she’ll be fine, Alex knows she will. She has to believe that, or she’ll never be able to get through this. She just has to take things one step at a time.

Once they land Alex quickly suits up, grateful for the protection of her armor as she slips it on. She can tell how much effort Kara had poured into every plate, and something about wearing it makes her feel closer to her sister. Between that and the focus she slips into instinctively, her earlier belief that she can do this becomes less a comforting lie and more the truth. She _can_ do this, and now she knows it, because she’s already _doing_ it.

The prep doesn’t take long, but Alex finds herself hoping their client is someone quiet. They’ll all three be crammed on to this relatively small ship for days at a time, and right now she isn’t the most patient of people. If someone expects her to be sociable, they might have problems.

“Hey, area’s all clear,” Maggie calls up the ramp after about thirty minutes, just as Alex is finishing up. “Come on down so I can set the anti-theft and then we’ll be on our way.”

“Coming,” Alex calls back, pulling her helmet on with a sigh of relief. Isolated from the world by her sealed suit, she feels much more in control. She can present a calm face to the world without needing to think about it, her helmet doing all the work for her. Underneath she can be as unsettled as she likes and no one will ever know.

When she steps off the ramp and onto another planet for the first time in years, Alex is grateful for her helmet for another reason entirely. It hides her shock, keeps her from losing the intimidating edge every mercenary needs. She wouldn’t be very effective if no one took her seriously after all. And gaping like a backwater cousin at what’s likely not that big of a city would definitely not help her there.

The towers in the distance stretch higher than any she'd seen, even though Alex knows they’re likely nothing compared to the cities in the Inner Rim. Here in the Mid Rim things are less ostentatious, and even the most populous planets don’t have much need of the kind of towers common on Coruscant and other worlds. On planets like these people and corporations like to spread out, take some room to themselves.

Even so Alex is glad of her 360 view as she follows after Maggie, keeping an eye on the bustling city to their right as she tries to imagine what it would be like to live in such a place. Once that had been all she’d ever wanted, and though she knows she wouldn’t feel safe now, that childhood dream has never quite left her.

“Part of the job will be exploring the cities around where our client is settling,” Maggie says, obviously noticing Alex’s POV tracker in her HUD. “You’ll get a chance to walk around some on your own, take in the sights.”

“You don’t think you should be the one to do it?” Alex asks in surprise, because this has been very much Maggie’s mission so far. She’s just along for the ride as a backup rifle this time around. When the stakes are life and death for a client she’d assumed that until she had a little more field experience she’d be staying mostly in the background doing what they both knew she was capable of.

“We both will,” Maggie answers, her own POV constantly moving around their position. “I’ll go in first and do an initial sweep, but you might see something I miss. And even if you don’t, you deserve a chance to get out and see a new world for a bit.”

“Not you too,” Alex groans, barely keeping herself from throwing her head back in frustration. Expressionless masks don’t react, she reminds herself. “Between my family and you, I’m beginning to think everyone is trying to push me out the door.” She’s careful not to mention J’onn or Kara by name even on their secure and private channel, knowing Maggie will understand her caution. It’s probably a bit paranoid but she’d never be able to live with herself if a careless word ended up putting Kara at risk.

“You should see some of the galaxy every once in a while,” Maggie says, not looking the least bit repentant. “You’ve got a life of your own, you deserve to have a chance to live it on your terms.”

“You know what my terms are,” Alex says shortly, not wanting to start that argument up again. It won’t do either of them any good.

“I know, and I still think there’s room within those boundaries for you to live a little,” Maggie says, and Alex can hear the edge of some deeper meaning in her voice.

But this isn’t the time to think about it, or think about why she wants to think about it. They both have a job to do, and all they’re accomplishing so far is splitting their attention. Alex isn’t even sure she wants to have that conversation at all, but she knows that in the middle of a mission isn’t the time or place. Just because she’s felt drawn to Maggie, can tell her friend has felt the same, that doesn’t mean she has to do anything about it. She’s got a duty, and Maggie deserves someone who won’t have their focus split so completely.

“How much further to the client?” Alex asks as she resolutely turns her eyes to the road in front of them, picking up her pace a little to remind them both they’re here on business. Maggie might be lead on this, but Alex isn’t incapable of pushing a little when it’s needed.

“We’ll be there within five minutes,” Maggie says, dropping the conversation as she moves to keep up. “You do a sweep of the grounds and check out the speeders for tampering while I talk to him, then we’ll get off planet as quickly as we can.”

Alex nods her agreement but stays quiet, letting herself slip back into that mission minded mode that pushes all her personal struggles away. She just has to get through this mission.

***

Thankfully nothing goes wrong on their trip, and they get their client settled in with no fuss. Alex even gets to explore two of the nearest cities while checking for danger, and she loves every second she spends surrounded by the bustle. She can tell it would be too much if she stayed longer, but it’s such a new experience that everything seems amazing to her.

Still, she’s glad when they’re back on their way to Mandalore, because two and a half weeks away from Kara is beginning to test her resolve. It isn’t as bad as she’d worried it would be, but it’s still uncomfortable in a bone deep way that has Alex itching to be back. Her paranoia means she can’t even comm to check on her, without risking detection. Maggie has exchanged a few quick messages with her parents and while Alex knows they would have mentioned if something had happened, it isn’t enough. She needs to see with her own eyes that Kara is okay.

They land before Alex has to wait too much longer, and while she chafes at the fact they land at Maggie's and then take a speeder, she knows it's the safest option. This way if someone _is_ tracking them they have a chance at throwing them off. It's not likely that anyone cares, but after a lifetime of secrecy Alex is too careful to do anything that might risk leading someone back to Kara.

When they finally get to the steading Alex is the first out of the speeder and through the door, needing to see her sister again so she can convince her mind that everything is fine. Three weeks of not hearing Kara's voice is too much, and though she knows she'll have to do it again, probably often, she needs this right now. If she's come back once, then she can leave again and trust that everything will be okay.

"How's M'gann?" she asks when she finds J'onn and Kara both standing outside the spare room they'd put M'gann in before she'd left. "Any change?" She might be worried about Kara, but she knows that's irrational and even just seeing her sister is enough to push the worry back.

"She's woken up a few times," Kara says with a tight smile, and Alex wonders what that look is for. It's not often that she's anything less than completely happy, and Alex had expected that her return would result in Kara being off the walls with joy.

"She will heal, but it will take some time before her mind is capable enough to exist on its own," J'onn says gravely, looking at Alex with relief and concern in equal measures. "There is also the matter of the security risk she may pose."

"What do you mean?" Alex asks sharply, trying to keep from assuming the worst. She'd taken every precaution on her trip to keep from opening them to any risk, and then returned to find Kara looking withdrawn and J'onn looking worried. It isn't exactly comforting, and she's starting to regret leaving them at all, even if they did need the money.

"I had to join my mind with hers," J'onn explains, and Alex sucks in a breath as she realizes what that means. "Obviously I had hoped to avoid that, but it became necessary when her physical wounds healed slower than her mind wanted. She knows about you, about Kara. And while I trust her, the risk remains."

"So what do you suggest?" Alex says, fighting to keep her voice level. She knows what she'd do if it was up to her, but she can't suggest that now, not like this. Not in front of Kara, not knowing that her family has tried to keep M'gann stable for the last month. They've put too much into this to take that route.

"We need to keep her stable," J'onn says, giving Alex a look that says her first thought had been anticipated. He's a pragmatist, even about one of the few remaining members of his race, and he'd promised that Kara would be safe. Of course he'd thought of it. But Kara pushes them both to be better, so it's not going to be the first option they take.

"She seems to be doing better," Kara says, looking between them with the pained look she gets when something that's so blatantly Mandalorian goes against what she'd been raised to believe. It's something Alex has seen many times of the years, and it's never lost its impact. Kara has lost so much, she deserves to be happy and have a life that's free of this discomfort. Just because J'onn and the rest of them are comfortable with almost brutal pragmatism doesn't mean Kara should be. "When she's strong enough to walk, we can talk to her."

"It's not that simple," J'onn says with a sigh, and Alex narrows her eyes. "She knows, and any Gurlanin she bonds with will know. We can't avoid that. But there's more."

"Tell me," Alex says, needing to know all of the information so she knows how to proceed. "What's the bad news you don't want to say?"

"She served in the military," J'onn says, eyes looking pained as Alex stiffens. "She defected during Order 66, but she served in the Republic military that night."

The news hits Alex like a shockwave, rushing through her and dimming the world around her for a moment as she struggles to process this. Kara steps forward, likely feeling her distress, but all Alex can do is raise a hand to wave her off, needing to get her thoughts in order before she can accept the comfort.

As her spinning mind slows to a stop, Alex realizes something. Maggie had brought M'gann here. Maggie had used M'gann as an inside source. Maggie had trusted her. And Mandalorians don't offer trust unless they know everything there is to know about someone. Had Maggie known about this?

As soon as that painful thought runs through Alex's head she's turning and heading back the way she'd come, knowing that Maggie wouldn't have left without hearing how M'gann is doing, without hearing that Kara is okay.

"Did you know?" Alex says as soon as she's out the door and crossing to where Maggie stands, anger letting her voice carry even though she doesn't raise her voice much at all. "Did you know about M'gann when you brought her here?"

"Yes," Maggie says, straightening and meeting Alex's glare head on. "I didn't think it mattered, she needed J'onn to keep her alive."

"Didn't matter?" Alex says incredulously, trying very hard not to yell. "How could it not matter that you brought an Imperial officer into this steading? That you risked Kara's life and safety by bringing her here? I trusted you, Maggie, and then you do this? Without even thinking to tell me?"

"She was never an Imp officer," Maggie says calmly, not reacting to Alex's obvious anger. "She was a Republic officer who deserted trying to save Jedi kids. I don't know Alex, I guess that sounded familiar. But I knew you'd react like this so no, I didn't tell you. I had hoped it wouldn't be necessary."

"You should have told me," Alex says, still feeling betrayed. She should have known, should have had more safeguards in place before she left. Imp officer or Republic officer, Alex doesn't trust any of them. The only thing about the Republic that she has any sympathy for is Kara, some random officer doesn't earn that much from her. "We should have known that before we took her in."

"So you would have left her to die if you'd known?" Maggie asks, fixing Alex with a pointed stare that reminds her Kara isn't the only genuinely good person on this planet. Maggie has always had a strong set of morals, one that Alex has often admired. She'll do what's necessary, but she does everything in her power to avoid the chance that what's necessary will be something she disagrees with. And normally, Alex finds that impressive.

"I don't know," Alex admits, shrugging slightly as she waits for Maggie's judgement. She won't deny it though, won't pretend to be a better person than she is. Maggie knows her better than that anyway, and if she's going to judge for it then it's better that she judge for everything now.

"I get that, Alex, I do," Maggie says softly, and Alex knows that she really does. "But I couldn't do anything less than everything I could to save her life. I won't apologize for that."

"I'm not asking you to," Alex says with a sigh, leaning against the speeder as her anger leaves her, the sudden lack of energy from that anger leaving her feeling exhausted. "I just wish I'd known. I left Kara here alone with her, what if it had been a trick? How could I have forgiven myself for that?"

Maggie nods slowly, reaching out to place a careful hand on Alex's shoulder plate. "It's better that you didn't know, really. You would have worried twice as much all mission, and you already nearly killed yourself trying to keep your focus. Adding this would have helped nothing."

Maggie's right, the way she normally is, but Alex can't quite bring herself to admit that just yet. It's too soon, she's still trying to wrap her head around the idea that there's a Republic officer lying in her guest room. After all they'd run away from, after all the hurt the Republic and Empire had caused, it seems wrong. This is their haven, hers and Kara's, and having a threat they've long tried to escape come knocking at their door is too much for her to deal with right now. She'll forgive Maggie eventually, probably when she hears the whole truth of M'gann's story, but for now she's going to be angry a little longer.

Maggie seems to sense that, patting her shoulder plate a few times before swinging up into the speeder, waiting until Alex steps back a safe distance before starting it up. "Tell Kara I'll see her next time," she calls before heading out, and Alex watches her go with a swirl of emotions that she can't even begin to sort out.

***

By the time the need for Alex to go out again rolls around, she's a lot more comfortable about the whole situation. J'onn has told her the entire story of M'gann's defection, and despite herself Alex can't help feeling a sense of empathy for the poor woman. To try and rescue as many Jedi children as she could and then watch them all die while she got away because of a safeguard she couldn’t override to go back and help? Alex can't even imagine what that must have been like.

So she forgives Maggie, the way she'd known she would eventually. Still, she can't quite bring herself to go on another mission with her just yet. Forgiveness is one thing, but Alex can't quite offer the same level of trust that working together to protect someone takes. It's not about what her mind believes but her heart and her instincts, and as long as she remembers Maggie's lie she'll be thinking about it instead of the threat in front of her.

Maggie understands, of course. She's been a mercenary for too long to not understand what something like that can do to a bond. Alex almost feels guilty about how much she gets it, actually. She'd been expecting Maggie to be upset, not give her that little smile and promise she'd be there if things changed. And when she'd gotten that look, Alex had started desperately wishing things had already changed between them, that she could forgive and forget both. Her quick missions without Maggie at her side seem empty, and the long hours in space do her no favors there.

She takes up bounty hunting for the relatively quick payoff, something Maggie usually tries to avoid. It's not always the most honorable work, or the safest, but with some diligence and dedication it doesn't usually take too long to track someone down, at least on the easier contracts that are all Alex considers. She'd take harder ones to test her skill, but this is mostly about working to keep money flowing into the steading while J'onn can't work. Easier bounties might not pay as much or push her to use the full extent of her skills, but they do equal some relatively quick and easy creds.

Eventually though, it gets to be too much. Tracking down criminals just reminds Alex of the horrible state of the galaxy, and eventually she needs something nicer. She can't take another bounty that leads her into some slum or another, not without at least a few breaks in between.

It helps that M'gann is recovering, enough so that Alex can have a well-meaning but vaguely threatening chat with her before leaving. She's not exactly subtle, most Mandos aren't, but she gets the point across and that's what matters. And with J'onn vouching for her honesty, there's little additional risk to leaving the planet for a little longer on a full protection mission. She's still not happy about it, of course, but she's too practical to let that stop her. J'onn will protect Kara, will keep her sister safe, and Alex needs to trust him on that. Her buir isn't exactly powerless, even if Alex would be more comfortable doing the protecting alone.

Kara, of course, understands more than Alex would have wanted her too. The day before she leaves to meet up with her newest client, Kara pulls her to the side and gives her a long, wordless hug before pulling back to fix her with a very pointed stare.

"I'll be fine, you know," she says, staring at Alex until her sister nods. "You do what you need to do, and quit worrying about me so much. I can take care of myself, and Buir won't let anything happen. You know that."

"I do," Alex agrees, nodding slightly as she grins sheepishly at her sister. "But it's not going to stop me from worrying. It's what sisters do."

"You've got me there," Kara says, pulling Alex into another hug. "Be safe, okay?"

"I always am," Alex promises, hugging back for a long moment before stepping back with a deep breath. She needs to leave now in case customs takes longer than anticipated, keeping a client waiting is never a good thing, and she won't leave her ship without a full sweep of the surroundings.

***

The planet she lands on seems quiet, fairly ordinary. It's nicer than most of the places she's been lately, but something about it seems off. The quiet seems ominous somehow, and Alex isn't sure if it's her well-honed instinct or just the deeper paranoia that she's never completely able to shake. Ruusan had been quiet too, before everything went to shit.

The scan of the surrounding landing pads seems fairly innocuous, and Alex relaxes a little when her careful scan of the transponders pulls up nothing but normal trading vessels. It doesn't necessarily mean anything, her fighter is carefully shielded to disguise the complete truth of its nature from all but a deep scan, but it's at least a good sign. There are no transponder IDs that flag in the system as incomplete or fake, and Alex has no reason yet to mistrust the results. She'll still keep an eye out of course, but she's at least comfortable enough to leave her ship and start her walk of the entire facility.

A Mandalorian in full armor attracts some attention on these quiet worlds, but no one seems to take too much notice of her. She's humanoid in figure, which in this galaxy is fairly boring and unimpressive. It's also becoming something of a status symbol under the Empire, a fact that has Alex gagging every time she thinks about it. There seems to be no end to the depravity coming from Coruscant these days, and she's tired of it.

But if she starts thinking too much about politics she's going to end up getting angry, and there's no time for that right now. Anger takes energy she needs to put towards her focus. She's experienced enough to know that by now, and experienced enough to know just how to push the anger down. She doesn't even need her old breathing exercises anymore, not unless she's actually in battle, which hopefully won't happen on this trip.

She'll be the only guard this time around, a first for her. She's taken a few bodyguard missions over the past months, even if she's not quite ready to go out with Maggie again, and she's always been in a squad of 3-9. Still new to the mercenary life she's never been on point, but she's watched and learned everything she needs to pull this off. And the contract for this one hadn't seemed that impressive, more a guard against random thievery than anything else too intimidating. That's why she's the only one hired.

So once her scan and patrol is complete Alex heads for the speeder rental stand, looking over the available options carefully. She'd prefer to walk, take in a little more of the surroundings and scan for possible threats, but the meet point is too far out for her to make it in time, and her client had specified a need for ground transport for her things. Unusual, sure, but not enough to make Alex feel wary about the deal. It's not unheard of for someone to not own a speeder, though usually the people rich enough to hire personal protection for a trip across the galaxy have their own.

But then again, if her client is relocating she might have already sold her speeder, meaning she'd need Alex to bring transport with her. Hiring an outside transport would mean an added security risk, at least this way she knows Alex will have scanned the speeder for any potential threats before arriving.

As she heads to meet her client, Alex finds her mind wandering back to her first bodyguard mission, and how much she misses having Maggie at her side. Maybe she's finally managed to forgive Maggie enough to go on missions with the other woman again. At very least Alex knows she misses her presence. But that’s a distraction she can’t afford right now, so Alex promises herself that once this mission is over and she’s back on Mandalore, she’ll go find Maggie and spend some time with her. Maybe even let herself find out if there could be more between them than just professional friendship.

Pulling up in front of the address she’d been given, Alex does a quick scan of the neighborhood, finding nothing out of the ordinary to attract her attention. It’s a fairly respectable location just far enough outside the city to be quiet, and just close enough to be convenient. There’s plenty of access for escape routes in case of needs, and enough cover without giving potential enemies too much to use as well. The decorative fencing around each yard is another good defensive block, and Alex nods despite herself. If she were ever to buy a house on a world like this, she’d probably look for something similar. And that makes her wonder just what her client is like, to have chosen a place like this for herself.

It could be a coincidence of course, Alex is trained to find defensive potential in her surroundings. Just because this place is full of it, doesn’t mean her client had chosen it for that. If there’s one thing Alex has learned about civilians during her trips off Mandalore, it’s that they have a habit of choosing things based on their own idea of what seems good, and that doesn’t always make military sense. She supposes the opposite could easily be true as well.

A message pops up on her HUD when she pulls up in front of the house, and Alex frowns at it for a moment before doing as it says and pulling the speeder towards the attached parking unit, watching the door swing open for her as she approaches, and shut behind her once she’s in. It makes her wonder just what kind of protective detail she’s on, but at this point it’s too late to back out, especially when her only reason would be her nerves.

Swinging herself out of the speeder and walking towards the door to the main house, Alex stops when it swings open as well. The woman standing there is vaguely familiar, but Alex can’t quite place her. She’s probably about thirty standard years old, maybe a little younger. It’s hard to tell what’s age and what’s from exhaustion, because Alex can tell immediately that the woman in front of her hasn’t slept in at least a day, and probably doesn’t sleep that much when she does lay down.

“So, you’re the protective detail,” the woman says, giving Alex a thorough once over before stepping back to gesture her inside. “You’re prompt, at least.”

“I’m a professional, ma’am,” Alex says carefully, walking inside and using her helmet sensors to pull a scan of the layout and any potential hazards. There’s one other life form registering, but he’s making no effort to hide and her contract had stated two beings, so Alex puts him to the side of her focus and turns back to the woman just in time to catch the look of disgust on her face.

“Never call me ma’am,” she says firmly, and Alex has to fight to keep from reeling back from the glare being sent her way. She’d dodged bullets and grenades before, but this woman manages to be intimidating with just a look.

“Apologies,” Alex says with a nod of her head, grateful that her helmet hides her face. This way she can at least pretend she isn’t thrown by the command. “I’m Alex,” she says, turning her head to make it obvious she’s scanning for threats. She doesn’t need to, the sensors in her helmet will work in every direction no matter which was she’s facing, but she’s learned that it helps reassure those who might not be familiar with Mandalorian armor that she actually is doing her job.

“Cat Grant,” the woman says, and Alex has to fight to keep from freezing, because she _knows_ that name and the stakes just got a lot higher. “Why don’t you finish your scan, and then we’ll talk.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special chapter for Star Wars day! May the Force (and the fourth) be with you all.

Very rarely has Alex been this thankful for her training. She needs every bit of it to keep her focus on the task in front of her while she finishes scanning the building for threats. Even on Separatist Ruusan she'd heard of Cat Grant, everyone had. She was a household name and everyone watched her show. Even her war coverage, while heavily slanted towards the Republic's cause, was fair enough to have a following. The rest of her work, the entertainment news and general political commentary were what got her most of her viewers, but it was her work documenting the war that kept them.

Most assumed she'd died years ago, or disappeared into some Imperial prison reserved for traitors and dissenters. Her last HoloNews broadcast had seemed to assure that much, especially in the early days when the Empire was so very touchy about their legitimacy and grasp on power. For someone to do what Cat had done, to speak out so blatantly about the abuses the Empire was likely to commit against the citizens of the galaxy, it had been a shock and a surprise to everyone.

It's still a rallying call for most of the rebel groups in the galaxy, not that Alex has ever paid too much attention to them. She has her duty and her job, and even though she's run into her share of Rebels and Resistance groups since leaving Mandalore, she mostly ignores them as best as possible, not wanting to be drawn into their mess when she has a job to do protecting Kara. Attracting the attention of the Empire that way would be suicide for her, and probably end with her family being killed as well. And Alex has had enough of that heartache in her life. She'll pass on adding any more.

But here Cat Grant is, alive and well, and hiring Alex to get her safely off this planet and to another. It's a shock and a surprise, and Alex wonders vaguely how the hell she'd managed it. Not just the surviving, but the beating the detailed checks Alex always performs before taking a contract. Knowing your employer is just as important as knowing their enemies after all.

Hopefully she'll get an answer to that question when she finishes her sweep, as well as the rest of the questions that keep bubbling to the top of her mind as she checks for any signs of observation from the surrounding houses. This is Cat Grant, and Alex knows the lengths the Empire is likely to go to in order to capture her. Nothing is out of the question on this mission, and Alex needs to be as focused as she can be, as alert as possible to every detail and potential threat.

"So, everything looks fairly clean," Alex says when she walks back into the main sitting room, running a sweep for listening devices with the sensor in her gauntlet, pleased when it comes back negative. She's already noted the soundproofing in the walls, so unless the Empire has some incredible new technology they should be safe to talk. And if the Empire had that kind of tech, they'd already have Cat in custody.

"I wasn't worried, but I'm glad to have a second opinion," Cat says, tone just as sharp as Alex remembers from the broadcasts she'd caught years ago. "Now, I'm sure you have some questions, but then I have some of my own. I want to be sure of who I'm entrusting with my safety."

"Why don't you ask first?" Alex offers, already planning to tell the woman as much as she safely can. It might not be very much at all, but it's better that Cat is convinced before spilling her secrets to Alex. It's not in Alex's nature to betray her trust, but the caution is still for the best. How Cat has survived this long without gaining as strong a sense of paranoia as Alex carries around she'll never know, but that doesn't mean Alex is going to take advantage of that fact. Not when she's talking to this woman, at least.

"And here I'd expected you to insist on going first," Cat says with a wry grin, obviously trying to cover her surprise. "Well then, the most important question I have for you is whether you're going to turn me in to the Empire as soon as you're outside the jamming device in the basement."

"I took a contract," Alex says, offended by even the insinuation. "I won't betray you just because there's probably a bounty on your head larger than most in the galaxy."

"Last I knew it was the largest in the galaxy, at least of the ones offered for civilians and not government traitors," Cat says, and Alex is impressed despite herself by how proud of that fact Cat sounds.

"Seems like overkill for a HoloNews star," Alex offers, not quite able to hold back the thinly veiled question of her own no matter what she'd told Cat.

From the smirk Cat sends her way Alex knows she'd caught the question as well as Alex's reluctance to ask outright, and has taken it as some sort of win. The woman is obviously fiercely competitive, and Alex mentally files that fact away as she begins sorting mission facts in her mind. She won't be sure that Cat will stay down and out of the way if the firing starts, not yet at least, and that will affect how she fights. Once they finish talking she might not have to worry as much, but right now Alex finds herself wishing that she had another fighter or two along, or even Kara. Her sister wasn't much of a fighter, mostly because it was too easy to slip and use her Force abilities, but she'd probably be able to keep Cat from sticking her head up and into the line of fire. By sitting on her, if nothing else.

"Oh, I'm not just any HoloNews star," Cat says eventually, leaning back in her chair as her smirk doesn't waver. "If I was, I'm sure the bounty for that last show would barely crack half a million creds. I've hit over fifty million last I checked, and I'm sure it's gone up from there."

"You're a popular woman," Alex says, hiding her shock at hearing such a large number. It's more money than she'll likely see in her life added together, and to have it in one go would be more money than she knows what to do with. But she's not tempted, even for a number like that. She's taken the contract for one, and Alex will die before she lets herself lose her honor over something as trivial as money. Even that amount.

But more than that, she respects Cat for what she'd done, even without knowing the full story. Anyone who can piss off the Empire enough to earn a bounty like that has to have earned it honestly, and Alex, even on mostly apolitical Mandalore, still hates the Empire with a passion. Anyone who can strike back against them gets a win in her book.

"I very much doubt that. Not after setting up fifteen different Rebel cells across the galaxy that have started to become a real nuisance to the Empire," Cat says casually, as if explaining where she'd bought the chairs they're sitting on. "No, I'm sure the Empire would love to have my head on a pike right about now."

Alex just nods, not sure what else there is to say about that. Fifteen Rebel cells, each independent and clearly effective, is an accomplishment for anyone. Alex might not be interested in joining the fight against the Empire, not with Kara to protect and needing to avoid attention at all costs, but she can still be impressed by that.

"I move on every few months, before the Empire can realize where I've relocated," Cat continues when Alex stays quiet. "I haven't been on this planet long, but the cell here has managed to build up enough manpower that I'm not needed, and I have another goal in mind, one in which time is of the essence. That's where you come in. I need to get to Kuat, and you're the one I'm going to trust to get me there alive."

Alex absorbs the news silently, struggling to keep up with the shock. She hadn't known where they were relocating to, which isn't that unheard of with protection contracts. There's always a chance that communications can be intercepted, and often the contracts are light on details until the first meeting. There's always an unspoken agreement that upon hearing all the information the warrior hired can back out without taking the contract, and Alex is very tempted to do that this time around. She still won't betray Cat to the authorities, but trying to get someone as well known as the woman in front of her through security around one of the Empire's most important shipyards will be nearly impossible.

But then again, it's just the kind of challenge Alex has been itching for, one that will truly test her skill and ability to handle the difficult scenarios. She's been chafing at the easy captures and backup security jobs she's been taking so far, even though she tries not to let it get to her. She has good reasons for taking them after all, and rushing into extreme danger every few weeks just to prove she can would not be the smartest move she's ever made. In fact, one of those times would almost certainly be her last.

"Landing on Kuat won't be easy," Alex says carefully, trying not to sound patronizing. She knows Cat likely understands that better than she does, and the last thing Alex wants to do is upset the woman. She seems like the type to take any potential insult to her intelligence or courage personally, and that's the kind of thing that gets people killed. "Security on the way in will be on high alert for any threat to the shipyards. Did you have a plan, or are you expecting me to furnish one?"

"I had a plan," Cat says, and the look she sends Alex is one step short of a glare. It's clear that even with Alex's careful tone, she'd still found something she didn't like. It's shaping up to be a fun mission, and Alex is already tired and ready to be home. "But if you come up with something better, or any improvements, then I trust your judgement. Feel free to alter details as needed, so long as you keep me appraised."

That's more than Alex had expected, and she finds herself nodding automatically as she turns this new information over in her head. Extra danger, but if the Empire isn't looking for them specifically then it might not actually be impossible. Especially if Cat already has a plan. She's only just met the woman, but Alex can already tell she's smart and creative, and has likely considered most potential issues and angles for her plan before ever mentioning it to Alex. She probably hasn't looked over it the way a soldier would, but that's what Alex is for.

All in all, Alex is tempted to take the new job, even with the added risks. It's not the most dangerous thing in the galaxy, at least as long as Cat's plan is sound, and she could use the practice. She doesn't want to go soft taking easy contracts for the rest of her life.

"I want more than the original rate," she says once she decides that taking the job won't be as bad as she's afraid. She's actually looking forward to it, now that she's officially decided to go ahead. But she won't do it without being paid the difference. Transporting Cat to some planet like Corellia would be nothing, but a major Imperial stronghold? She's definitely going to want a bigger fee for that.

"Of course," Cat says instantly, not even trying to argue. She clearly understands that this is more than Alex had initially agreed to, and that earns another layer of respect from the Mandalorian. "I know the risks, and I know you'll need more than what we agreed on. I doubt even double would quite cover the trouble you'll be going through."

Alex doesn't say anything, glad she hadn't removed her helmet when she'd sat down. Double had been the upper range of what she'd felt comfortable asking for, though she'd probably have started higher and worked her way down, expecting Cat to argue with such a high sum.

"Five times," Alex says, trying for firm and decisive, fully expecting to get a counter offer from Cat. Negotiating isn't her strong suit, but she knows the basics. And asking for five times the agreed upon fee is a strong starting position, one that gives plenty of room for them to come to a more sensible agreement.

"Done," Cat says, rising from her chair to cross the room and stand in front of Alex, who moves as soon as she does. It's mostly on autopilot, still stunned at Cat's instant acceptance of her terms, but she at least manages to keep up appearances. "And none of the 'half now, half on safe delivery' bullshit people try to pull. I'll wire the amount into your accounts the second we climb in your transport."

"Appreciate that," Alex says automatically, still trying to catch up to what had just happened. "How long do you need before you're ready to go?"

"Winn should be almost finished packing up the gear," Cat says, gesturing vaguely upwards towards where the second body is still showing on Alex's sensors. "We'll be leaving most of it behind for the cell here, there's an encoded message with this location that will go out two days after we leave. He's wiping all incriminating information from the disks now, and destroying any that help particularly sensitive details."

Alex nods her approval of the precaution. It's entirely sensible, but it's one that most people wouldn't have considered. To most of the galaxy, erasing data is a simple matter of clicking 'delete', but anyone with even the slightest amount of skill can easily get such information back. Usually Alex would need to step in with an alternative plan at this point, but once again Cat has managed to surprise and impress her.

"I'll want to meet Winn," is all she says, not wanting to give anything away. She's sure Cat knows anyway, would be surprised if the woman couldn't tell more than Alex intends to let her see, but she finds she doesn't mind all that much. As long as she can keep the important secrets to herself, the little things don't matter.

Winn turns out to be an Omwati about Alex's age, and suddenly both their success at staying hidden and the skill in covering their tracks makes more sense. Most Omwati never leave their planet, not unless the Empire forcibly recruits them for their skill in mathematics or programming, but that just means that those who do leave willingly are often highly skilled and highly motivated to strike back at the empire in whatever way they can.

He seems nervous, not that Alex can blame him, and none of his nerves seem out of place or the kind that indicate he's going to betray them. He seems like any other nerdy hacker thrust into danger at the side of a more courageous companion, and Alex has to fight to keep from underestimating him. If he's stuck with Cat this long, there must be more to him than she can see on the surface.

She doesn't have to wait too long for him to finish, he clearly knows what he's doing and had been well on his way to done before Alex had arrived. She has to give the duo this much, they're incredibly well prepared. Intelligent, resourceful, and clearly effective if they've got the Empire on their tail as much as they do. And Cat is clearly dedicated to keeping resistance alive in the galaxy, because anyone who has as big a bounty on their head as she does that isn't rushing for cover obviously has something they're fighting for.

Alex knows what that feels like, and feels a strange sort of kinship for the other woman as she helps load up the transport with the few crates and bags they're taking along. She'd once been the one running from her home towards a new planet with only what she could grab to take with her, and she'd done so out of a sense of duty that's just as strong as the one she sees in Cat now.

It takes even less time to load the ship, Alex pushing herself slightly to get things into the safety of the hold as quickly as possible. They're vulnerable in transit, even with Cat wearing a disguise that should fool facial recognition and most of the people they pass on the way. If the Empire is on to them, the strike will almost certainly come while they're loading the ship and therefore vulnerable, or while they're trying to make orbit. So Alex isn't going to relax until they're safely in hyperspace and she can look over every angle of Cat's plan at least a dozen times.

They take off without issue, Cat surprisingly helpful as a copilot even though Alex resents having anyone in the cockpit with her that isn't Maggie. She can't exactly be picky this time around, after all. And she could do this by herself, but given who she's escorting the faster they get out of the system the better.

Cat has just finished plotting their route, one that's suitably complicated to suit Alex's need for security, when the ships appear from over the planet's horizon, clearly heading straight for them. They're Imperial, and they're fast, but Alex hopes they aren't heavily armed. The fact that there are five of them against her single ship make the odds bad enough, if they're packing high end cannons she might be up against more than she can take. At least there isn't any sign of an Interdictor, so if she can manage to run they might be able to get out of this in one piece, even if they end up a little worse for wear.

Any lingering hope that their ship isn't the target is banished when the lead fighter opens fire, and Alex barely manages to dodge. They've got the range now though, and that won't last long. "Plot us a course anywhere but Kuat, and stand ready to jump as soon as we're free of the gravity well," Alex orders Cat before calling back for Winn to hang on. Their ride is going to get a little rough very quickly.

"Any preferences?" Cat asks as she calmly starts her calculations, and Alex hesitates before turning her attention back to her evasive maneuvers. She doesn't want to be tracked or give the Empire any clues as to her identity, though if they know she's Mandalorian then it won’t be a large leap to figure out where they've gone.

"Just pick somewhere, not within three sectors of Kuat and not in the opposite direction. We won't be making the full jump anyway, we just want to throw them off." She hopes Cat understands her thinking well enough to make a good choice, but she's a little too busy at the moment to spare another thought towards that issue.

Opening fire on an Imperial ship is high treason, Alex remember as she takes aim, but she has a wide range of fake transponders available to cover her tracks. And since they don't seem to have any hesitation when it comes to using clearly lethal force, then neither will she. It’s the best way to get them out of this alive after all, and that’s the important thing.

She's not very accurate from the pilot's seat, not when she has to split her attention between evading the shots being sent their way and returning fire with her own cannon, but she does manage to take out two of the five enemy fighters without taking serious damage. They need to get out of this system quick though, because their shields are down to about 40% and dropping, and Alex isn't sure how much longer they'll last.

"You have those calculations yet?" she spares a second to ask, wincing when a particularly powerful shot lands against their stern, rattling the frame of the entire ship and sending warning lights popping up across every console. "Because if not we might have to jump blind and hope for the best."

"Like hell we will," Cat growls, pushing a few more buttons at frantic pace before turning to Alex and nodding, already entering the route into the navicomputer. "The course is set, just get us out of here before they blow us to pieces."

"Do you think I'm not trying?" Alex fires back with a growl of her own, emotions running high as she watches a few more warning lights pop up after they take another hit. "We're almost out of the gravity well, we just need a few more seconds."

The hardest hit comes just as she reaches for the lever to launch them into hyperspace, and Alex hopes that they manage to hold together long enough to make this first small jump to safety so she can assess the damage and hopefully get them somewhere they can make repairs.

They only stay in hyperspace for a few minutes before Alex drops them out with a sigh of relief. The shaking frame as they transition back into realspace is worrisome, but it's not the worst she's felt before, and they aren't losing oxygen or fuel. Things are looking good as far as being able to repair the damage.

"Come on, let's check on Winn," Alex says as she unbuckles her safety harness and stands, still hesitant to leave the woman alone in the same space as her main computer, though she's sure Winn can find a way around any potential blocks she has from anywhere in the ship. She trusts that they won't try though, a level of faith that takes her by surprise when she realizes what she's feeling.

She's just met these two, doesn't know much of anything about them, and yet she's already starting to consider them worthy partners. She trusts them almost as much as she trusts most Mandalorians she knows, even if that's a pale comparison to how much she trusts those she trusts most. It's still more than most people manage to get from her.

"He's probably shaken," Cat says as she stands herself, walking towards the main hold before Alex can head that way herself. "I used to find it annoying, tried to instill some sort of backbone, but he's just not built for this sort of thing."

"He didn't seem to be," Alex agrees, thinking of the sparse bit she knows of the pale blue skinned man. His delicate bones make him a weakness in any fight, and he likely knows it. He's too frail to be a warrior, no matter how accomplished he is as a hacker. She'd be more surprised if he wasn't petrified by what must have seemed like a horrible space fight to someone unaccustomed to warfare of any kind.

Thankfully he doesn't seem too worse for wear, and Alex leaves Cat to comfort him while she inspects the engines. They don't seem as bad as they could be either, but there's definitely damage that will cut their speed significantly. The food supplies will easily last, and Alex hasn't seen any sign of terrible habits from her passengers that make her think a few extra days will make a difference in how long she's willing to put up with them, so that's no problem.

The issue now is that if they try to sneak into Kuati space in a ship that matches the description of the one that had just fought its way out of Celen, there's no way they'll make it through no matter what transponder code Alex uses. And she's sure that the Empire has more than enough information to know exactly where the ship had been hit, information that they can use to make a visual match to the ship now.

No, there's no way this ship is going to make it to Kuat as is. The only solution is to land somewhere and make repairs, maybe make some visual changes to the outside as well. And with the Empire clearly on Cat's tail, the only place Alex can think of is Mandalore.

Still, she wrestles with herself. It's the smartest decision to be made, the only one that Alex thinks has any chance of keeping them alive, but it's still a tough choice. If she lands on Mandalore, she'll have to bring Cat Grant back to J'onn's steading. There's no other place on the planet that she can trust to repair the ship and not talk. And while she doesn't think any Mandalorian would betray her by turning in the client she's contracted to protect, she can't take that chance. Even among Mandalorians there are some bad seeds. And fifty million credits is a hell of a temptation on a mostly poor world.

Alex groans when she realizes she's already made her decision, kicking a bulkhead for good measure as she grumbles. It might be the right thing to do, but she's still afraid that it's somehow going to bite her in the ass. Most things in her life have a way of doing that, after all.

Leaving the engine room, still complaining to herself as she walks, Alex goes in search of her passengers to pass on the news. She doesn't think they'll complain, and she's perfectly willing to lock them in the containment hold if they decide to challenge her decision, but she's still not looking forward to this.

She finds them making dinner in the tiny galley off the main hold, and watches them for a long moment to put off the inevitable. Cat is strangely at home in the cramped space, and if Alex had a bit more courage she'd probably think it had something to do with how tiny the woman seemed. She doesn't though, and pushes that thought down before it can surface, knowing instinctively that Cat will not appreciate any comments on her stature.

"Engines are okay, but there's no way we'll make it into Kuat this way," Alex says when Winn notices her, stepping forward to give them the news. "We'll have to make repairs and maybe some cosmetic changes if we want a chance of getting in." She's debating asking Maggie to let them borrow her ship, or asking Maggie to come along in general, but she doesn't need to tell Cat and Winn that just yet. Better to wait and see what happens when they land and Kara can take a look at the ship.

"I assume you have a plan in mind?" Cat asks, gesturing impatiently with one hand as she continues to prepare her meal with the other, and Alex doesn't even try to hold back the roll of her eyes that one gets. This woman is something else.

"Mandalore," Alex says, opting not to comment aloud on the gesture. It wouldn't do any good, she knows that already, and it's easier to just avoid that particular battle. "I know someone there that can fix the ship and get us back on track."

"And you trust them?" Cat asks sharply, finally looking up at Alex with a pointed look. "Because I'm not exaggerating when I say the Empire would give almost anything to get their hands on me, and while I'm willing to risk a lot, walking into an unknown repair shop with a bounty that could practically buy a planet doesn't instill much confidence."

"I trust her with my life," Alex says, hoping she's not giving too much away. It's hard to sound detached when talking about Kara, and Cat is too sharp to miss much. But Alex needs to convince her that this is the best option, and that means showing at least a few of her cards. Not all of them, but enough to win the woman over.

"I think we should trust her," Winn says, surprising Alex as he speaks up. He's been extremely quiet and withdrawn, even more so after the dogfight. But he's looking at Cat now with a vaguely challenging stare, and Cat gives in with a sigh as she turns back to Alex, one hand on her hip as she cocks it, staring at Alex with a fierce expression.

"To Mandalore, then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will finally start the Cat/Kara interactions, but I hope there was enough badass Alex and Cat action in this to tide you over until Sunday.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, the moment you've all been waiting for... 
> 
> (Okay, so just one of the moments, but we'll get to the others)

The trip to Mandalore takes more time than Alex would have preferred, but she's not willing to risk the engines by trying to push them harder than they can handle. An extra week in transit is far preferable to explosive decompression in the vacuum of space. Patience might not be her strong suit, but even she knows better than to try and fight the odds that much.

Cat handles it with grace, a fact that doesn't surprise Alex in the slightest. Someone who is constantly on the run soon learns the ability to focus and separate from the moment when necessary, and it's obvious Cat is a master of doing just that. Rather than focus on the fact that they're three people trapped on a relatively small ship, she spends her time talking with Alex about the plan she's come up with for getting into Kuat once they've made repairs and changes to the ship's appearance. The plan is actually far more solid than Alex would have anticipated from a civilian with no actual combat experience, but eventually she realizes that between the months of war reporting and the time Cat's spent forming Resistance cells, she's obviously picked up a thing or two.

That doesn't stop Alex from making suggestions, of course. It's her safety just as much as Cat's on the line here, and she won't go running into danger without a plan that she trusts completely. There's too much that could go wrong, she wants to cover every possible contingency well before they're in Kuati space, searching for that one mistake that could make everything fall apart.

It's Winn who has the biggest problem with the trip, and Alex quietly tries everything she can to make sure he's as comfortable as possible, without being obvious about it. It's obvious he has a problem with her helmet and armor, so reminiscent of the old clone trooper armor, so she takes to walking around the ship in her black bodysuit and fatigues. It's not perfect, her fatigues are still very clearly military in form, but it's enough that he doesn't seem terrified every time she walks into the same room.

It's strange, being around outsiders without her helmet. Usually she keeps it on any time she's off planet and not in her quarters, both for protection and for concealment. Somewhere, she's sure the Empire has old facial recognition scans from Ruusan, and even if she's grown and aged, it's still more of a risk than she's comfortable taking walking around on Imperial planets without some sort of mask. When she has to go without her distinctive armor, she still wears a face guard of some kind, at least a visor over her eyes that contains a miniature HUD to help monitor her surroundings.

But here on her ship, with only two people she's coming to consider allies, for however brief their time together will be, she can deal with the discomfort until it fades. It's worth it to keep things from being too tense between the three of them. She just has to deal with Cat's searching gaze for the first day, though what she's looking for Alex doesn't know. Maybe it's just surprise or unease that she's putting her life and safety in the hands of someone so young.

That should make Alex angry, even if there's no way for her to know for sure that's what Cat is feeling. She should be defensive, upset over even the slightest veiled insinuation that she isn't up for the job. But after the first flush of anger, all it does is make Alex determined to prove Cat wrong, if that is indeed what she's thinking.

***

Things are going well right up until the point they drop out of hyperspace, when Alex hears a bang from somewhere in the engine compartment and warning lights go off all over the console in front of her. Something in her makeshift patch job has clearly gone wrong, and with the temperature readouts on the sensors in the engine room there's no way she's going to be able to go check. She'd never survive without her suit, and it would take too long to put it on and seal it well enough to withstand the temperatures.

Kara could do it, her Kryptonian physiology suited to a wider range of temperature norms, but Alex is glad her sister isn't here for this. There's still a chance she can set them down safely, but if not, at least Kara will be okay. At least she'll have managed to keep her sister safe, even if she died while doing what was necessary to make that happen.

"Strap in," Alex calls back to Winn, hoping to sound in control and sure of herself in a way that will keep him from panicking too badly. Sounding unsure or scared herself will do nothing to reassure him, so it's at least worth a shot. "You too," she says to Cat, this time not bothering to hide the grim look in her eyes. Cat will understand far better than her frail helper, and there's no reason to hide the truth from her.

"What can I do to help?" Cat says as she tightens the extra safety harnesses around herself, making sure she's as secure as possible, and that the utility knife she carries on her hip is safely strapped down to keep it from flying around if their landing is more crash than controlled. She'll need it if the straps jam, but unsecured blades and collisions don't mix well together.

"Keep an eye on the readouts and tell me if anything maxes out," Alex says, reaching for manual control and briefly wishing she had Kara's strength. If this is anything like her first crash landing on this planet, that would come in handy. "I've got a trajectory planned that should land us close to where we need to be even if we lose power, but if we can avoid that then obviously I'd prefer pulling that off."

"We'll make it down," Cat says confidently, and Alex shoots her a disbelieving glare before turning her attention back to her piloting. "Don't look at me like that, sometimes a little hope makes the difference between success and failure, and I don't believe in failing."

Alex wants to point out that sometimes it's not about belief, not even about what you can do. If the universe is stacked against you enough, then that's the end of it. There are things no mortal can fight, obstacles no amount of determination can get you past. But if this is what Cat needs to keep her fear under control, then Alex is damn well not going to take that from her.

Their atmospheric entry is controlled, if bumpy, and Alex fights back a sigh of relief as they slip towards the cloud cover. They're not safe yet, not by a long shot, but at least this way they have other options if they have to abandon ship and make a jump for it. She hates the parachutes, wishes they could afford powered options, but when it comes to abandoning a crashing ship she'll take what's available and be glad for it.

The landmarks that tell Alex they're close to J'onn's land come into view just as the engine coughs and dies, and Alex winces as she cuts in the repulsorlifts even though they're still too high, hoping that it at least helps keep them from crashing. It won't be pretty, but as long as they land in one piece she won't complain about a few bumps.

She can feel when they're low enough, it's like bouncing off of a brick wall at full speed, and Alex lets out a groan of discomfort at the sudden velocity change. She hopes Cat and Winn are okay, but this close to landing and with a few more systems failing every few minutes, she can't exactly spare a second to check. That will have to wait until they're safely on the ground.

Thankfully nothing else goes wrong, though the ship does settle to the ground with a loud groan that makes Alex wince. That's not a good sound, not with the low whistling she can hear underneath the sound of stressed metal, and Kara is not going to be happy that Alex has saddled her with a repair job of this magnitude.

J'onn probably won't be happy either; this is still his ship even if Alex is the one using it these days. He's not usually one for sentimental attachment, but Alex has seen the way he spoke about this ship. She knows he's had it for years, since before joining the Mandalorians. He's upgraded it since then, turned it into a fighter, but it hadn't always been one. This had been his family's ship, back before he'd lost his first family. He has memories of his wife and children in these walls, and Alex doesn't want to see those lost.

Maybe she can convince Maggie to let them take her ship for the next part of this. Even if it means bringing her along, Alex definitely doesn't mind that. Having another fighter for the trip can't be a bad thing, and Maggie's ship has special smuggling compartments that should help them slip past security without the complex plan Cat has been working on.

But that will come later, right now Alex needs to face the music and introduce her family to their new temporary guests. She can worry about convincing Cat to trust someone else later.

"Come on, let's get off this ship before something else goes to osik," Alex says as she unbuckles and stands, glad that her legs don't tremble despite the exhaustion she's feeling as the adrenaline rush fades. Armor had always helped conceal that, but she doesn't have that mask in place now. Her confident image has to be all her own, she can't let Cat see weakness that might erode the trust that's building between them. Cat has to believe she can handle this, believe that she's safe in Alex's hands, or no matter how solid their plan they'll never make it to Kuat.

"You have quite a way with words," Cat mutters as she stands, clearly understanding the curse from context without Alex needing to translate.

"Pretty sure that's your field," Alex tosses back, mouth running without thought as she keeps most of her focus on appearing confident and in control. "I'm the one you hired for the guns."

"True enough," Cat concedes, pulling herself up to stand just as firm as Alex. It's impressive, and Alex fights back a smile as she realizes Cat is likely doing the same thing she is, fighting to keep in control and appear strong and confident. They're more alike than Alex would have realized, and she wonders how Cat would do in Mandalorian culture.

It's an idle thought and nothing more, but it amuses Alex as she grabs her things and heads for the ramp, smiling reassuringly to Winn as she passes him. She can't imagine either of them actually enjoying Mandalorian culture, even if Cat is practically a warrior in her own right. There's a lot more to being Mandalorian than just wearing the armor and shooting a few guns, and some of that Alex suspects Cat would have more than a mere problem with.

"Alex, you're back!" Kara calls as she sprints towards the ship, armor left behind as she rushes to her sister's side, hands rising to Alex's shoulders as she looks her over carefully. "We weren't expecting you back for another few weeks this time, what happened? Is the ship okay? Who shot at you?"

"Kara, I'm fine," Alex says, reaching out to grasp her forearms and pulling Kara's attention from the examination back to her face. "We had a little trouble getting off Celen, so I came here for repairs. That's it. I'm not hurt, no one is. We just need the ship fixed so we can get to where we need to go."

Alex isn't telling Kara the entire plan, and she can tell her sister realizes that there's something she isn't saying, but Alex doesn't want her to worry. That's her job, not something Kara should deal with. It's already bad enough that she has to worry when her sister takes off to fight someone else's battle, adding details would just be cruel. She'll have to remember to tell Cat to keep things generic if it comes up. Kara is sure to question her, but someone like Cat should easily be able to keep it a secret. Even Kara's pleading looks can't be stronger than years of training and hiding, right?

"Okay," Kara says slowly, cocking her head slightly to the side as she stares at Alex. It's the look she gets when she's trying to decide whether it's worth it to push, and Alex hopes that this time she doesn't decide that it is. "Let's get your clients off the ship so I can take a look."

"Armor first, Kara," Alex says quietly, hoping Cat and Winn are still far enough away. She doesn't know enough about Omwati hearing to know what's within easy listening distance, but if he's still on the ship then they should be good. "I know we've gotten careless around here lately, with it just being family, but we can't give them reason to suspect anything. You have to pretend you're human again. No Kryptonian strength or 'special' abilities."

Kara pouts but nods, giving Alex a firm hug before turning to head back inside, and Alex breathes a sigh of relief that it hadn't turned into an argument. Kara knows how important hiding is, but she still isn't a fan of wearing her armor unless she has to. And examining a ship on J'onn's land really isn't something she'd normally need the extra protection for. Maybe when she got into actual repairs, but not for the first check. Her Force abilities would give her early warning if something started to go wrong, and her physiology would protect her from a lot more than that of a human.

"Well, this is quaint," Alex hears from the top of the ramp, and turns with a forced smile to face Cat Grant.

"I know it's probably not up to your usual standards, but there's no place safer right now," Alex says carefully, not wanting to start a battle after so narrowly avoiding one with her sister. "We'll get the ship fixed, then we can move on to other things."

"You'd be surprised at what meets my standards," Cat says with bite of her own, and Alex doesn't even try to hold back her eye roll at the pointed words. "I've been in far worse places over the years, as long as no one is shooting at me then I think I'll survive."

"Damn, there went the evening entertainment," Alex tosses back, unable to help herself. She's protective of this world, and this steading specifically. This is her home, the place she'd found herself after losing everything, and Cat's grudging acceptance rubs her the wrong way. It may very well be genuine, but Alex can't see this place as anything less than perfect.

Cat sends her a sharp look but doesn't say anything, and with a sigh Alex heads back up the ramp to help grab the crates and supplies they can safely reach to offload. If something else goes wrong, it will help to have as much off the ship as they possibly can. It also means less to replace, and even though Alex trusts Cat, she doesn't want to give the woman any excuse to dock her extra pay to cover the damages.

Kara comes to help before they're done, and a sharp look from Alex is all it takes to have her sticking with the lighter crates, the ones that Winn could probably lift without much issue. Alex wants to sigh and point out that Kara is being childish, but she's still not wearing her armor and Kara's helmet is clipped to her belt, so there's no way to do so without Cat hearing them. Winn is inside in one of the guest bedrooms, trying to recover from the stress of the landing, but Cat had insisted on helping.

"That's the last of it," Alex says when they finish the last load, looking at Kara with a soft smile, glad to be back by her sister's side. "You want to take a look at the engine now, or wait until it's light again tomorrow?"

Looking up at the setting sun with a considering look, Kara tilts her head before looking back at Alex. "I think I'll at least give it a quick once over now that it's cooled," she says, and Alex nods. "That way if there's something majorly wrong that might cause issue overnight I can take care of it. If it's just general damage, I'll get to it tomorrow."

Cat is looking at them with another searching look as they decide, and Alex wonders if maybe this was the wrong decision after all. She could have taken the woman to the repair depot down south, they might not be as trustworthy as Kara, but surely she could have hidden Cat's identity from them for the few days it would take to get the ship back up and running. Better that than risking Cat putting too many clues together.

"Let me know if you need help," is all Alex says, wishing once more that she could talk to Kara privately. She'll have to do that once she's gotten inside, while her sister is examining the engine and Alex can pretend she's making sure nothing happened to her armor in the crash.

"Your sister?" Cat says as they walk inside, and Alex fights to keep from tensing. It's an innocent question, and if she gives any indication that there's more to the story Cat will pick up on it.

"Yeah, my sister," she says, trying for casual. "We came to live her when we were younger, J'onn adopted us."

"I'd wondered," is all Cat says, and Alex is grateful that she doesn't pry. Given what she knows of the woman, that seems like a serious concession. But then, given her history and past she's probably known her share of sad stories, and learned when pushing would only bring more pain.

As she shows Cat to the guest room that will be hers, Alex hopes that this decision doesn't end up being one of those things that causes more pain.

***

"Well, the good news is I should be able to fix it," Kara says brightly the next morning at breakfast, not bothering to tone down her cheer as Alex stares grumpily in her direction. "The bad news is you guys took more than a few good hits, so it'll take some time."

She isn't surprised when Alex groans, but there's really nothing Kara can do to hurry things up. She doesn't even have all the parts she'll need, that will take a special trip down to Keldabe. Alex will probably insist on being the one to go, given the proximity of the garrison, but maybe Kara can convince her sister to let her tag along this time. She'd been too worried when getting supplies for M'gann for Kara to persuade her, but maybe this time she can manage. She hasn't seen Keldabe in years, hasn't seen any city bigger than the sector capital.

"Just do what you can," Alex says with a sigh, and Kara knows her sister well enough to know she's trying to come up with some alternative. She'll probably end up wanting to ask Maggie to borrow her ship, but Kara knows that Maggie's father has taken it for a trip back to see some of his distant relatives for a month or two. It won't be any faster waiting on him.

"If I can help at all, just let me know," Cat speaks up from where she's sitting, and both sisters turn to look at her in surprise. "Oh, don't give me that look. I've spent my fair share of time in an engine room or two, I might not be able to fix everything but I at least know how to follow directions and keep from making things worse."

"I'll remember that," Kara says, wincing when Alex kicks her under the table. She knows her sister is worried about Cat finding out, but really, what was she supposed to do? Flat refuse a reasonable offer without being able to give a reason why? "It won't be any time soon though, I'll need some parts from Keldabe before I can really start on the repairs."

"Of course you will," Alex groans, letting her head slump to hit the table before sitting up quickly with a look over at where Cat sits. It's clear she'd momentarily forgotten that mercenary image she tries so hard to keep up, and Kara has to fight back a laugh. She prefers Alex her sister to Alex the warrior most days, but she understands why she needs to keep that distance now.

It's another thing Kara doesn't think she could do, another reason for her to stay carefully hidden on Mandalore rather than leave to see the rest of the galaxy. She doesn't have to pretend very often when she's here, when it's just her family around. And she doesn't know if she could pretend as well as she needs to around other people. She may not be a Jedi in name anymore, not since that title comes with a death sentence, but she's still a Jedi at heart. And the cold distance required of a good soldier could never come easily to her. It's a level of separation that Kara is well aware exists outside of what she can accomplish.

"Keldabe is the capital, yes?" Cat asks, and Kara can faintly sense her amusement even with her Force abilities shut down, though there's no sign of it on her face. This is a woman who lives and dies by her masks, and Kara knows instinctively that any break in that facade would take something serious indeed.

"Yeah, it's down in the more hospitable equatorial region," Alex explains. "We don't get down there too often, and I don't think it'll be safe for you to tag along. There's an Imperial garrison across the river, and the troopers make regular patrols. If they know you hired a Mandalorian, I'm sure every officer in the city has your picture."

"Sounds like a good reason to let you do the heavy lifting," Cat says, and this time Kara can't hold back her laugh even when Alex glares at her.

"You have fun with that, Alex," Kara says cheerfully, already giving up on her hope of convincing her sister to let her tag along. If she's worried about the Imperials being on the lookout, there's no way she'll think it's safe enough for Kara to go with her. "Bring me back some candy."

"Get your own candy," Alex mutters as she pushes back from the table and walks out, and Kara laughs again, this time joined by Cat once Alex is safely around the corner.

"Your sister is quite the handful," Cat says honestly, and Kara nods in agreement.

"She is, but you couldn't ask for a better protector. She'll do whatever she can to keep you safe."

"I have no doubt about that. She seems very competent." Cat is clearly a woman for whom competency is important, so Kara nods her agreement. She might not have put it that way, but there's no harm in letting Cat describe Alex in a way that makes sense to her.

"She was always pushing herself to be the best," Kara explains, wondering how much she can say, what is her place to say. "She's very good at what she does."

Cat nods thoughtfully, and Kara takes a moment to study her, using an old Jedi technique to look without seeming to look. She'd watched Cat’s old programs, once upon a time. Cat Grant had been a rising star, and even the Jedi weren't completely immune to that. Especially once the war broke out and there were so few reporters bothering to keep track of the progress, Kara had tuned in more than once hoping for any news of her scattered friends.

She hadn't seen the infamous last broadcast until years later, but what Cat had said stuck with her once she did. It had been filmed just after Order 66, just after the Chancellor had crowned himself as Emperor, and Kara had often wished she'd heard the words when they aired. They would have given her a strength she sorely needed after losing everything she'd ever known.

 _"Dark times are upon us,"_ Cat had said, looking so sad that for a moment it was as if Kara had lost everyone all over again, so real was her pain. _"Liberty dies, and evil takes its place. But we, the citizens of this galaxy, do not have to quietly let that happen. There will be difficulties, and trials, and more pain than most of us have ever had to deal with. But we can fight. We can hope. And we can rebel. And if you cannot fight, if you cannot take up arms with your neighbor against this new regime that seeks to snuff out every bit of light from this galaxy? Then remember that sometimes the greatest defiance you can offer is just to live. Live, and hold the spirit of freedom in your heart. Hold to the things that they cannot take from you."_

Even now, years after hearing those words for the first time, Kara remembers them. They still bring her strength, when things start to get tough again. And now that she's sitting in the same room as the woman who had spoken them, she doesn't know what to think. She'd thought Cat was dead, the way most of the galaxy did. She'd thought there was no way she could ever see the woman, ever thank her for the courage she'd given to a young girl who was scared and almost alone in a hostile galaxy.

But even though she has a chance to say those words now, Kara knows she still can't. Alex is right, she still has to be cautious of how much she shares, how much information they give her. If everything goes according to plan then Cat will be gone within a few weeks, off establishing Resistance groups across the galaxy. And if the Empire ever caught her, then they would learn everything the woman has done, know everyone she's met, everyone who had helped her. And while the Empire is still too wary of moving openly against Mandalore to punish a hired mercenary for doing their job, if Cat knows that one of those mercenaries is a Jedi then Kara knows the Empire will come for her.

"So, where are you guys headed after this?" Kara asks casually, hoping Cat is more likely to answer then her sister.

"She told me you'd be trying that," Cat says with a wry laugh, and Kara frowns a little.

"I'm allowed to worry about my sister," she points out, finally turning to face Cat directly. "And when she won't tell me where you're headed, I start to worry."

"I can understand that, but she has reasons for not telling you," Cat says, not budging even slightly. "And as I'm paying her to keep me safe, crossing her wishes doesn't seem to be the smartest option for me."

"She wouldn't let anything happen to you, even if she was angry," Kara says, needing Cat to understand that. "She's a very honorable woman, her word is her bond. No matter what she feels, no matter how angry you make her, she'll do whatever she has to in order to keep you safe. This is more than a job to her."

Kara could say more, she could explain how to Alex the person she's protecting becomes Kara in her mind, how her sister will always do whatever it takes to protect them because she's actually protecting Kara. But even with all the years she's been living with Mandalorians, all she's learned about the culture and how to fit in, she still can't bring herself to believe every bit of it. And Alex's willingness to sacrifice herself for Kara will never be something she's comfortable with.

And beyond that, Cat doesn't need to know. She doesn't need to know the history that brought the sisters here, or how guilty Kara still feels that she can't extend the title of 'parent' to the Danvers'. Alex is her sister, and J'onn is her father, but she can't quite go back retroactively in her emotions to give that level of connection to the family that took her in. And when she knows Alex still struggles with their loss, still lives her life to be worthy of it, as if their sacrifice is something she has to earn instead of something that had been willingly given, the fact that she can't see them that way makes her feel even more guilty than she already would.

No, all Cat needs to understand is that Alex will always do what is needed, always keep her safe if there's any way to accomplish that. There might not always be, there may come a time when the enemies are too numerous, but until that point and even beyond, Alex won't stop fighting. It's the part of her sister that Kara admires most, and the part she wishes she could emulate.

She's hidden for years, kept her Force abilities a secret, rarely using them except in the rarest of circumstances. She'd stopped fighting, and even though Kara knows it's the only way to be safe, she still wishes she could be out with her sister, doing what is necessary. Using her skills and her talents to keep people safe. She might not be comfortable charging for it, but at least she would be doing something other than hiding here on Mandalore.

"Be that as it may, given that she's doing so much to keep me safe I won't betray her wishes," Cat says firmly, and Kara nods her understanding. She can respect that, even if she does want to know.

"Okay," Kara concedes, not bothering to push any more. She knows a strong will when she sees one, even if she would never resort to Jedi mind tricks to get Cat to tell her the truth. She'll just have to wonder, and see if she can get it out of Alex at some point. "I'd better go take a better look at the engine so I can give Alex a list. The sooner she gets the parts, the sooner I can get started with the repairs."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Cat asks as Kara stands, sighing when Kara hesitates. "I told you, I'm not exactly helpless around engines, even if you're likely far better with them than I am. And I hate sitting around doing nothing."

"I'm sure you could find something to do," Kara says automatically, knowing it's what Alex would want her to say, and wincing when Cat sends a glare her way.

"Unless Mandalore is looking for outside help with forming Resistance cells, something I find highly unlikely given the general mentality of every Mandalorian I've met, then there's really nothing for me to do other than offer to help. I can't exactly go call the groups I've already established and have a casual chat about how they're doing, now can I?" she asks with a level of sarcasm that Kara has only heard from her sister before.

"Okay, so you have a point," Kara says weakly, waving for Cat to follow her as she heads to the forge. She really can't see a way out of this, so she might as well give in with good grace. And that means making sure Cat doesn't get injured while they're checking on the engine.

"You want me to wear what now?" Cat asks in disbelief when Kara holds out her old bodysuit, looking at Kara as if she's gone crazy.

"There's no way you're getting on that ship without protection," Kara says patiently, knowing that Cat isn't going to back down even with this unforeseen addition to the plan. She's too stubborn for that, but so is Kara. And if she can't keep Cat off the ship, then she's going to make sure she's safe. "So you're going to wear my old set of armor. It's only durasteel, not beskar, but it'll keep you safer than what you've got on now."

"You're putting me in Mandalorian armor." It's more a statement of disbelief than a question, but Kara nods anyway. "This, I admit I did not see coming."

"Just put the armor on so we can go," Kara says, risking a bit of heat to her words. She wouldn't normally, but she thinks that maybe it's what Cat needs right now. She could be patient and try to convince her that way, but it'll take longer and maybe a bit of challenge will work faster.

"Fine," Cat says, looking around for a second with a sigh before beginning to strip off her clothes where she stands, laughing as Kara turns bright red and turns her back quickly to give the woman some privacy. "It seems strange that the old HoloNews celebrity has less of a problem with modesty than a Mandalorian warrior," Cat says as she changes, and Kara takes a deep breath, hoping to keep her voice steady as she answers.

"Respecting your privacy has very little to do with modesty," she manages to say, glad that she has her own bodysuit on under her forge leathers, having already expected to be wearing her armor today. It means she won't have to undress and prove the point.

She isn't even entirely sure what her reaction means, she's been around the others in town often enough to have lost what remained of her body shyness, and life in the Temple hadn't exactly come with room for much modesty either. Their bodies are just conduits for their true beings after all, crude flesh to carry the light of the Force within. There's no reason for her to be embarrassed by seeing Cat change, not when it's clear the woman has no problem with it.

"Well lucky for you I change quickly," Cat says after a moment, amusement still clear in her voice as Kara hears her walk closer. "Now, which way to that armor?"

Kara points silently before crossing the forge to pull her old plates out of storage. They won't be an exact fit, but given they'd been made for her years ago they should be small enough to give Cat a decent amount of protection. Her new set is in the storage chest by the door, where she'll be able to grab it on the way out. But first she has to help Cat clip the unfamiliar plates on, something that once again brings a flush to her cheeks that she's not willing to examine too closely.

"There you go," Kara says when the last plate is in place, finally trusting herself to speak without stuttering or stumbling over her words. "That should keep you safe."

"It's a decidedly strange feeling," Cat says as she swings her arms, and Kara remembers her first time wearing the armor with a fond smile. It's a big adjustment, she knows that.

"Now for the helmet," Kara says, quickly slipping it on to make sure the old memory has been wiped, and shutting down most of the functions so that Cat isn't overwhelmed by the amount of data it can throw at its wearer. She's had years to get used to it, and still isn't quite comfortable with it.

"You're kidding," Cat says, looking at Kara with narrowed eyes. "Is this to get back at me for laughing earlier?"

"Nope," Kara says, though she can't resist a slight smirk. "This is for your protection, same as the rest of it, Cat. What if something falls, or gas starts to leak? The helmet will protect your head, and the filtration system will take care of any fumes."

Cat gives her another long look before taking the helmet from Kara's outstretched hands and slipping it on. At least she hadn't fought any longer, they've already taken longer than Kara would like to get ready. By now she could have already finished examining the engine if she were on her own.

Her own plates take only moments to don, even though she's not the biggest fan of wearing armor she's gotten used to the weight over the years, and has it on often enough to be an old pro at putting it on and taking it off.

Thankfully they don't run into Alex on their way to the ship, because Kara is definitely not sure how her sister would react to this. She knows why Alex is worried about her spending too much time with Cat, but they're both stuck on a very small steading until this ship is fixed, and that means they'll have to interact at some point. It doesn't mean that Kara has to put Cat into Mandalorian armor and let her help examine the engine, but Kara's not willing to fight that much at this point. Alex might be, but Kara just wants to get this done.

"I didn't realize how bad it was," Cat says softly when they reach the back of the ship, and Kara just shrugs a little. She's still not comfortable seeing how close Alex had come to being hurt, and she's trying to ignore that.

"Let's just look at the engine," she says carefully, and from the way Cat's helmet tilts, Kara knows the reaction has been noted.

The damage to the engine room is worse than anything else they'd passed, and Kara takes a careful breath as they walk in, checking to make sure her comm and voice projector are both disconnected. She doesn't need Cat hearing her reactions to this.

She'd been able to push them down last night, been able to reach out and feel that Alex was still safe and present, but today it's harder. Kara has to be careful not to give herself away to Cat, which means she's making a conscious effort to keep all of her Force skills pulled back as much as possible. And without being able to sense that little spark of 'Alex' that says her sister is safe, the sight of this much damage is that much harder to take.

"We'll definitely need a new coolant line," Cat says, looking down at the remains of the last one. "How do you want to keep track of this? Is there a way to take notes in this thing?"

Kara blinks a few times to activate her voice control systems as she crosses to Cat's side and joins her examination of the coolant line. "I can take notes on my forearm pad," she explains, showing Cat the slightly shinier area on her armor. It'd been one of the few upgrades she'd put into her own suit, just so she always had a way to jot down her thoughts if she needed to. "So if you see something, call it out. I'll sort through the list later, see what I already have and what Alex will need to buy."

The two split up a little after that, Cat occasionally calling out a component or two that Kara obligingly jots down. It's actually helpful, having another set of eyes to split the work, though Kara knows she'll probably have to go over the areas Cat is currently looking at to make sure nothing had been missed. It's clear from what Cat is noticing that she's indeed at least mildly familiar with engines, but that doesn't mean she'll catch everything. And if they have to send Alex on more than one trip, she'll be cranky for days.

They're coming to the end of their search when a beam overhead finally gives way, arcing down towards Cat with a speed that she won't be able to dodge. And even with armor the impact is likely to at least leave bruises, if not worse. So Kara does the only thing she can think of, reaching up a hand and stretching out with the Force just enough to divert the beam from hitting Cat, hoping it will be subtle enough that she doesn't realize what had happened.

"I knew it," Cat says once the beam stops bouncing where it had landed, helmet pointing towards Kara and realization in her voice. "I knew there was something familiar about you when we first landed here."

Kara freezes for a long moment as she hopes she'd misheard what Cat had said, as she hopes that everything isn't about to fall apart around her. For Cat Grant to know her secret is arguably the worst thing that could have happened today, and of course it had happened to her.

"Miss Grant, I don't know what you're talking about," Kara tries, knowing it won't work but needing to at least make the attempt.

"You really think that in my years of founding Resistance groups, of broadcasting messages of rebellion and hope, that I never found a list of the Jedi not accounted for the night of Order 66?" Cat asks, hands on her hips as she stares directly at Kara, and Kara can feel the dread in her stomach. This is bad, this is very bad.

Switching quickly to her private channel Kara calls her sister, hoping that Alex isn't away from her comm or her helmet. “Alex, we have a problem,” she says, wincing at how scared she sounds. And meanwhile Cat is still staring at her, waiting for a response. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kara lies, knowing she doesn’t sound convincing at all.

“Oh, I think you do, Kara Zor-El,” Cat says, sounding far too sure of herself for Kara’s comfort. “The Resistance needs your skills.”

Oh yeah, Alex is definitely not going to be happy about this.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of a filler chapter, but necessary to set up Kara's dilemma and Alex's struggle.

"My name is Kara Danvers," Kara says, trying one last time to convince Cat that she's wrong. It probably won't matter, but Kara can't give in without a fight. She's been hiding for too long at this point, she can't just tell this woman she doesn't know the truth about who she is.

"Kara, please," Cat says with a sigh, and Kara winces at the tone. There really is no way out of this that she can see. "Don't insult my intelligence. You are Kara Zor-El, one of the Padawans not accounted for in the Empire's sweep. You just used the Force to save me from being hurt, which thank you for that, by the way. What exactly makes you think I wouldn't put the clues together?"

"Kara, what's wrong?" Alex asks in her ear as Kara stares at Cat, desperately trying to come up with some way to make the woman think she's made a mistake. "Kara, answer me, what's wrong?"

It's the panic in Alex's voice that brings Kara back to the moment, and she shakes her head a little before answering. Cat can wait for her answer, Alex won't. "Alex, I'm fine, okay. No need to rush in with your blaster drawn. But Cat figured out who I am."

"She what?" Alex yells, and Kara can hear her scrambling up from wherever she'd presumably been sitting. "Kara, what the hell happened?"

"Just relax, Alex," Kara tries, already expecting the grumbling that's sent her way at that one. "I'm trying to convince her that she's wrong, but it's not going well."

"Where are you?" Alex asks, slightly distracted, and Kara knows she's clipping her plates on as if heading for a battle.

"We're on the ship," Kara answers, knowing that if she doesn't Alex will just track her down using the comm signal.

"The silence from you is not the most convincing of lies," Cat breaks in. She isn't on the same closed comm feed that Kara and Alex are, so to her Kara has just been standing there staring for a few moments. Not that Kara thinks knowing she was talking to Alex would help either; it's too clearly an admission of guilt.

Since there's really no way out of this, Kara just shrugs, deciding to wait for Alex to arrive and handle the situation. She'll probably just make a mess of the whole thing if she starts now.

Thankfully it doesn't take too long to hear her sister's boots on the ramp, and Kara takes a deep breath to prepare for the confrontation that she knows is coming. Alex is entirely too protective to let this go, and Cat is entirely too determined. Whatever comes next, it won't be particularly easy or calm.

"Ah, and now the sister appears," Cat says when Alex enters the engine room, shoulders tense and worried. "You two really need to work on your subtlety, having the heavily armed protector show up the moment someone figures out the truth isn't the most conducive to convincing someone they're wrong."

"Miss Grant," Alex says calmly, though Kara can hear the edge to your voice. "Kara was afraid you'd hit your head, or that the fumes had gotten through your filtration system. Said you were imagining things that aren't possible. She was worried, and I have more experience with battlefield first aid, so she called me."

"Well, you're certainly more believable than your sister, but I'm not buying it," Cat says. "Really, you two. You didn't even bother to give me a fake first name? Your picture looks exactly like an older version of the one the Empire has, Danvers is a name that originates from Ruusan, which just happens to be the last place one Padawan Zor-El was seen. And then to top it all off, you react instinctively to save me from pain by using the Force? And with all of that evidence, you expect me to believe that I'm mistaken? No, no, I may be many things but easily fooled is not one of them."

"Alex, you aren't going to convince her," Kara says on private comm, easily reading the depth of Cat's certainty in the Force. Even a Jedi master wouldn't be able to fool her, and Kara is sorely out of practice. "Maybe we should just tell her, work on convincing her not to tell."

"No," Alex growls, and Kara sighs. She knows why this is a sore spot for Alex, but they're trapped here for at least another month before repairs can be made, and they will really need to figure out a way to coexist. Alex locking Cat in the holding room for the entire time will not go over well. "Kara, if we tell her, what happens if she gets caught? What happens if the Empire finds out where you are?"

"What's the alternative?" Kara asks, watching in dismay as Alex tenses. It's too easy to see the thoughts running through her sister's mind. Even without Alex speaking aloud, Kara knows that she's considering something she would eventually regret. Or even if she didn't regret it, Kara knows it would strain things between them for years to come. "And not the one you're thinking of now, Alex. I won't let anyone else die to protect my secret."

It's an old argument, one they've had a few times over the years. Alex is constantly ready to sacrifice herself, but Kara hates the very thought. She'd rather die herself than let anything happen to her sister. It's one reason she's so happy to stay carefully hidden on Mandalore. If no one ever finds out about her, then Alex will never have to face that possibility. And now that someone has figured her out, Kara doesn't know what to do, how to convince either woman to back down.

It's not as if she has many options, so with a deep breath Kara switches her external voice projector back on and turns to where Cat is still staring at them, head tilted expectantly as she waits. "You're right," she says, knowing it's the only option.

"Kara!" Alex exclaims next to her, but Kara just holds up a hand to silence her sister. This is her secret to tell, and she can't let this continue.

"No, Alex. She knows, we aren't going to be able to hide it from her." Cat nods but thankfully stays quiet at that, and Kara breathes a quiet sigh of relief that the woman apparently realizes speaking up just now will not be helpful in the slightest. "My name is Kara Zor-El. I used to be a Jedi, but I'm not any longer. Now I'm just a Mandalorian."

Those words feel more like a lie than anything else Kara has said today, but she says them firmly. She's had practice over the years, even if she still feels like an outsider on this planet. Alex is the Mandalorian, Kara is still a Jedi at heart. She can't be one, she can't take that risk and jeopardize the safety of her family and friends, but deep down she still wishes she were part of the Order that had raised her.

"And if you tell anyone, if you even think of putting my sister at risk, then our contract is null and void," Alex says fiercely. "I mean it, Grant. Kara is safe here, and I will not let anything happen to her."

"I don't intend to hurt your sister," Cat says, but Kara notices that she isn't mentioning the same thing she had earlier, when she'd told Kara that the resistance needed her. Clearly she can tell how upset Alex is, and knows that pushing her at this moment would be too much. "I will keep her secret, you have my word."

It's not enough for Alex, Kara knows that. But it's something. It's a concession that allows them both to back down, let tempers cool before the wrong thing is said or action is taken that can't be undone. They'll have more time later to deal with the rest of it, right now it's time to take a step back.

"Alex, why don't you take Miss Grant inside while I finish going through what we'll need?" Kara says, not sure that sending the two off together is the best decision but not knowing what else to do. She can't handle them both sticking around, not when she needs a moment alone to think. And there's no way that Alex will leave if Cat doesn't leave as well. "And no threatening speeches," she adds on private comm, unsurprised when Alex grumbles but ultimately agrees.

Once she's alone, Kara sinks into a crouch and takes a deep breath, resting her elbows on her knees and cradling her helmeted head in her hands. She never forgets her lost friends and mentors, but to be reminded of them today seems to cut a little deeper than normal. To have someone look at her and see a Jedi where everyone else in her life sees either another fighter or someone to be protected, it's bringing back the memory of everything she'd lost. She'll cope, she always does, as soon as she remembers everything she's gained since then. But for now, she needs a moment to mourn.

It's not night, she's not ready for bed, but to calm herself Kara starts reciting the names of the ones she's lost, remembering them and keeping their spirits alive. As long as she remembers them, as long as they live on in her heart and mind, they aren't really gone. She's alive, she remembers them, and so they are eternal. They haven't gone anywhere.

By the time she finishes Kara has calmed down enough to finish the sweep of the engine room, and hurries to go over what's left and double check Cat's sections to make sure nothing had been missed. After today, she's sure Alex won't rest until the engine is complete and Cat is safely far away from Mandalore.

Walking back inside, Kara almost feels the need to raise the temperature controls in her suit, so frosty does the air seem. It's clear that whatever Alex and Cat said to each other, it hadn't gone well, and Kara is not looking forward to smoothing things over between them. She knows how stubborn Alex is, and has a strong suspicion that Cat is no different. Finding any sort of compromise between them will likely be nearly impossible.

She decides to start with Alex first, sure that after a day like today her sister is in the training room, probably taking her frustrations out on a punching bag or weapons simulator. Probably a punching bag, Kara thinks. It's more physical, more likely to wear her out and help keep her frustrations contained.

Sure enough Kara can hear Alex's fists impacting the bag as she gets close to the room, and from the speed and force she's been at it a while. It's not frantic or wild, just a measured rhythm that keeps Alex moving without exhausting her too quickly. Which means that maybe Kara will be able to get through to her.

"Hey," Kara says when she enters, leaning against the wall near the door as she takes in the sight of her sister, utterly focused on the bag in front of her. "You guys manage to talk at all?"

"What is there to talk about?" Alex says, landing another few hits as she keeps her eyes on the bag, not turning to face Kara at all. It's all the sign Kara needs to know that there was at least a vaguely threatening exchange between them, and Alex is feeling guilty for going against Kara's wishes. "She knows, you're in danger, and I really hate the Empire. Nothing else worth mentioning."

"Alex, I know it's not that simple," Kara says as she walks forward, bracing the bag so that Alex can get better hits in, hoping that her help is allowed and welcomed, that Alex doesn't push her away. She never has before, but this entire situation is too new for Kara to know what will change between them. "I know you've put everything you are into protecting my secret. I know you're scared of what it means that she knows. But Alex, she's not the Empire. She's not out to hurt me."

"But she still could," Alex says in defeat as she drops her arms, looking exhausted. "Kara, I know she won't do anything that could hurt you, not deliberately. But you know as well as I do that every person who knows your secret adds to the risk, and Cat knowing practically doubles it."

"What about Maggie?" Kara points out, because she'd been thinking of how best to convince Alex since she'd finished reciting names. "She knows. She goes on dangerous missions, and she's crossed paths with the Empire before. What if they took her?"

"That's different," Alex says, pushing damp hair out of her face and looking uncomfortable. "She's a Mandalorian, we can trust her."

"I know we can," Kara says soothingly, knowing that Alex's slowly deepening feelings towards the other warrior make her sensitive to any criticisms. "And I do trust her, you know that. She could easily be another sister to me." That's the closest Kara has ever come to outright pushing Alex towards Maggie, and she's very careful to avoid pushing too hard when Alex is already feeling emotional. "But Alex, think about it honestly for me for a minute. Is she really less of a risk than Cat?"

Alex looks torn, but at least appears to be considering what Kara had said. And it's a fair point, Kara thinks. It's not as if Cat has anything to gain by selling her out to the Empire, and Maggie is often far more directly involved in potential confrontations with its soldiers. Cat's existence is based on avoiding them, not fighting against them the way Maggie might end up every time she goes out. And while Maggie has proved herself worthy of trust, Kara thinks that Cat could do the same, if Alex were to give her a chance.

"I still don't like it," Alex says eventually, and Kara pulls her sister in for a hug, knowing what even that concession had cost her. "And I'll be making sure she understands what will happen if she ever spills your secret."

"No, you won't," Kara says instantly, squeezing Alex just a little tighter at that. "Let me talk to her, I can make her understand without the threats of violence, okay? She doesn't have anything to gain from telling anyone about me. She's done too much against the Empire to earn any kind of clemency, even if she were willing to stop now."

"Just be careful," Alex warns her, and Kara nods into her shoulder before pulling back and sending a reassuring smile.

"I will be, I promise," she says, not surprised when it doesn't seem to help the worry on Alex's face. "Look, go call Maggie okay? Tell her she's welcome at dinner tonight. Maybe seeing her will help, and maybe she can give some new perspective on all of this. I think we're both too close to it."

Alex nods, looking thoughtful, and Kara leaves her sister hoping that just maybe things will work out for the best there. Just as Alex wants her to be happy and safe, Kara wants the same for her sister. And she has a chance in Maggie, if she'll ever just let herself see that and go for it.

***

"I was wondering when you'd come find me," Cat says when Kara seeks her out later that day, sitting at a table in the main room going over some papers in front of her. "Come to give me another lecture about the dangers of upsetting Mandalorians?"

"Not exactly," Kara says as she walks slowly closer, not knowing what exactly she does want to say but knowing she won't threaten Cat. "I just wanted to say that I hope you understand how important it is that I stay hidden, that the Empire doesn't know I'm here. I know they're probably still looking for me, and I can't fight them."

"That's a coward talking," Cat says, and Kara flushes in anger before she can push it down. "We can all fight, it's how we do it that matters. No, you shouldn't go running straight at the fight with lightsaber and blaster drawn, but that doesn't mean you can't fight them at all."

Kara feels torn, because she understands what Cat means. There are dozens of ways to fight, and charging in head on is only one of them. But at the same time, she's no coward for surviving. No coward for protecting her family the best way she knows how, by living her life on a planet she never would have chosen, in a culture that even now is as strange to her as it was on the first day. She doesn't fit here, but she will make herself fit because that is what gives her the best chance of going unnoticed by the Empire, and thus gives Alex the best chance of surviving.

"I may be many things, Cat, but a coward is not one of them," Kara says quietly but firmly, allowing a little bit of a Mandalorian's fierce pride to enter her voice. She might not feel it, but she can still pretend with the best, and that will be more convincing in this moment than Jedi calm. "Calling a Mandalorian that is one of the greatest insults you can throw on this planet, and just because you disagree with my choices, that doesn't mean you get to insult them or me. I did what I needed to keep my family safe."

Cat has the decency to look ashamed, but the determined look in her eyes doesn't fade the way Kara would have hoped it might. "While that may be true, that doesn't mean I'm wrong about the rest of it," Cat says, not willing to back down completely. It earns her another layer of respect in Kara's eyes, but she's careful not to let it show. "You could still help, could still hide and yet make your blows against the Empire."

"I've made my blows," Kara says, waving a hand to take in the steading around her, trying to keep the conflict in her heart from her voice. She knows what her answer to Cat needs to be, and there's no sense giving the woman any opening she can target in the days ahead. Better to convince her now. "I survived the clones trying to kill me, even though I was only twelve years old and had no idea what the Council had planned. I survived again a year later when they came for the family that sheltered me. I was thirteen then. I have watched the man who became my father go off to fight battles and wars every year since then, and then watched my sister begin to do the same. And I have done what I needed to keep them alive. I won't regret that choice, and I won't change it."

Cat nods slowly as Kara's words sink in, and Kara hopes that's the end of things. As much as she yearns to go with Cat, to see the wider galaxy once more and put her skills and abilities to work, she can't risk it. She's not even in any kind of practice with her Force abilities, and her fighting skills are more instinct than anything else at this point. No, it's better that she stays here and keeps the Empire from finding her location. No one can get hurt that way.

When Cat doesn't add anything, Kara turns and leaves, stopping at the doorway to offer one last thing before she walks away. "You fight by facing the Empire, and you find your strength in that. I fight by keeping the Empire from hurting my family, and that's where I find mine."

***

"You're looking troubled tonight," J'onn says when he finds her sitting in the corner of the forge later, staring at nothing in particular. "Come on, ad'ika. Tell me what's bothering you."

"It's nothing, Buir," she says, already knowing he won't believe her. He has enough on his plate with keeping M'gann alive, she doesn't want to add to his problems. "I just needed to think."

"You have options again, and you aren't sure what to do," J'onn says knowingly as he sits next to her, leaning into her side for a moment to offer comfort. "Kara, you can make a different choice this time around, if that's what you're drawn to do. Your sister will understand eventually. You have just as much right to this galaxy as she does, and to live the life you choose."

"That's just it, I've already chosen this one," Kara says, leaning her head onto his shoulder as she sighs. "What good does making a new choice do when there's a chance of it hurting you, hurting Alex? How selfish can I be?"

"It amazes me how well the two of you turned out," J'onn says warmly, and Kara flushes slightly at the pride in his tone. "You're both so different, and I know I can't take credit for everything, but if there was ever a time for a man to be proud of his daughters, this would be it. You and Alex, you are both so strong in your own ways. And I'm glad to have raised you. But Kara, you deserve the same thing you told Alex she deserved. A chance to see the galaxy, a chance to do what you want with your life. If there is more out there for you, then go and grab it."

"I can't," Kara says softly, almost too softly to be heard. "What if I leave and something happens to you? What if I go help Cat set up Resistance cells, and we get caught? They came so close this time, what if next time she doesn't get away? What if they find out you sheltered me, and I lead the Empire right to you?"

More than anything, that's what Kara fears most. She could handle dying, she believes and trusts in the Force. She doesn't want that to happen, but if it does then Kara believes in the old tales of there being some continuation of existence afterwards. She remembers hearing about the warm light of Rao as a child, and has always believed that's where she'd go when her time was up. It had set her apart from the other Padawans and Jedi, a belief in something other than only the power of the force, but Kara hadn't minded. The beliefs were comforting to her, and none of the others seemed bothered by them. She wasn't an outsider for thinking that way, only a little different.

But to be the reason her family dies? She can't take that again. She's already lost two good people their lives, and she won't add to that number. Even if that means spending the rest of her life on this planet where she doesn't fit, hiding everything about herself with all but a handful of people, then that's what she'll do.

"My brave daughter," J'onn says, just as softly. "You do what you think is right, but don't let fear hold you back. You know as well as I do that Alex would never let you go alone, and you two will always have a home and safe haven here waiting for your return. So you do what you must, and the rest of us will do the same."

Kara still feels torn, and isn't quite a sure that staying is the right choice to make, but she knows that certainty won't come without a battle. She can't just expect to make a decision and stick with it, not in a time like this. Not when she has the paths before her that she does. She needs time to think, the support of her family, and the guidance of the Force.

Maybe it is time to start thinking a bit more like a Jedi. She's worked so hard to push that part of herself down, but maybe she doesn't have to anymore.

***

"You look rough, Danvers," Maggie says when she steps out of her speeder, and Alex lets out a quick bark of laughter at how blunt and direct her friend is.

"Yeah, it's been a hell of a week," Alex says, arms crossed across her chest as she watches Maggie walk closer, still thinking of what Kara had said earlier. She hadn't missed the subtle push, and after missing Maggie as much as she had on the first part of this mission, she's starting to realize just how deep her feelings run.

And it's not as if she doesn't know how Maggie feels, even if the other Mandalorian has been nothing but respectful of Alex's hesitancy, there's always been a current between them. It's been Alex keeping anything from starting, and they both know it. And now, Alex is wondering if it's worth it to keep holding herself back, or whether this is another one of those things that she'd always pushed away to keep Kara safe that maybe she doesn't have to after all.

"What the hell happened to your ship?" Maggie asks when the round the corner of the main building and she can see the damaged stern of the ship where the door of the hanger stands open, and Alex shrugs.

"My last protection mission got a little out of hand, the ship got pretty banged up so we had to detour here so Kara could fix it. Which ended up being the wrong move, because Kara managed to reveal her special training to my client within a day, so now I'm trying to figure out how to keep my sister safe without violating my contract. So, pretty normal situation all around," Alex explains, knowing she sounds bitter but not really able to mask it.

"Damn, that's definitely something," Maggie says, letting out a low whistle as she walks closer to the ship to take in the full extent of the damage. "You came awful close there, Alex. Another hit or two and you would have been dust. Who the hell were you protecting that was worth this much effort?"

"I have to check with her before I can tell you that, but I'm hoping she'll hire you on, if you're looking for a little work," Alex says, because if she ends up finishing this contract out she knows she'll want backup and there's no one she trusts more than Maggie. "Kara should be in the kitchen getting ready, I'll go see if my client is willing to meet you even if she won't hire you."

"Alex, if it's this big, be careful," Maggie says seriously, and Alex nods. She understands what Maggie means, and she welcomes the concern. This isn't some run of the mill protection mission, that much is obvious even without knowing any of the details. The damage to her ship and Cat's wariness to even meet anyone else says that much.

"I always am," Alex says with a smile, remembering her similar exchange with Kara earlier. "Now go, you know Kara's been missing you." She doesn't add that she's missed her too, but from the way Maggie looks at her after that, Alex thinks she knows. And maybe by the end of the night, she'll have the courage to actually act on that.

For now though, she needs to go find Cat and see how the woman feels about hiring another Mandalorian to sneak into Kuat with. And see if the conversation with Kara has managed to convince her to stay quiet about what she knows.

It's hard, mistrusting Cat this much. It had been easier when Kara was still a secret, just her sister and nothing else. Cat had been well on her way to earning as much trust as Alex ever gives anyone but her family, and now that she has to be suspicious and wary, Alex finds she doesn't much like the change. If only she'd gone somewhere else for repairs, if only Cat wasn't so good at what she did, if only Kara wasn't so obvious that there was no way to stay hidden from someone like Cat. If only, if only, and no solution in sight.

Oh well, Alex thinks to herself as she heads inside to find Cat. A little adversity never harmed anyone. It was usually the blaster bolts that did that, and right now there aren't any of those flying around. All they have to do is keep it that way.


	11. Chapter 11

“Do you trust her?” Cat asks when Alex finishes laying out her request, face carefully blank as she looks at the Mandalorian, almost as expressionless as Alex’s own helmet would be. It’s a practiced look, Alex can recognize that much, and she realizes suddenly just how much Cat has trusted her so far, how much she’s trying to trust her now.

“I do,” Alex says calmly, trying to respect that level of trust and offer a confidence of her own to put Cat at ease. She still isn’t sure how she feels about the woman who could endanger Kara’s safety with a single mistake, but that doesn’t mean Alex doesn’t respect her.

“That’s all you have for me?” Cat asks in disbelief as she turns and begins to pace across the room. “I’m asking you to take me to one of the most heavily defended Imperial shipyards in the galaxy, trusting you to get me there safely, and you want me to believe that I can trust someone else not to sell us out for fifty million credits on the basis of a two word sentence? You’ve got to give me more than that.”

Between the ranting and the pacing, Alex is suddenly struck by the knowledge that Cat is afraid, deeply terrified in a way that she’s refusing to let show. This is a woman who hides her emotions just as surely as Alex herself does, and now Alex knows that she needs to take that into consideration if she’s going to get through to her.

“She knows Kara’s secret,” Alex says eventually, hating herself for using her sister as a bargaining chip, but knowing it’s likely the one thing that will convince Cat. “And you know what the bounty on her would be. So yes, I trust her.”

Alex also hates that she’s proving Kara’s point right, that using Maggie’s knowledge of Kara’s identity in this way proves that Alex is holding Cat to a double standard that the woman doesn’t deserve. But she’s never been very good at lying to herself once she’s made to see the truth, no matter how uncomfortable it gets. And Cat might not have earned her trust the same way Maggie has, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t capable of doing so, or that Alex shouldn’t give her a chance.

Alex can see Cat considering what she’d said, likely what she hadn’t said as well, and it’s clear the moment she decides to trust Alex’s judgement. “You make a compelling argument,” she says with a wry grin, one that Alex manages to return though it feels almost like a wince. “I want to meet her though, and speak to her. I’ll give you an answer on Kuat after dinner.”

Alex nods her agreement, not bothered by the condition. It’s not as if she’s asking Cat what her favorite HoloNews station is these days, she’s asking her to entrust her safety to someone she’s never met, solely on Alex’s word. That’s not an easy decision to make, and Alex knows that. And it’s not as if they don’t have time for Cat to make it, with Maggie’s ship offworld and J’onn’s still being repaired, they aren’t making it to Kuat any time soon. They can afford for Cat to take her time.

“Food should be ready in about twenty minutes,” Alex says as she turns to leave Cat to her thoughts, knowing she’ll need the privacy. “I’ll be talking to Maggie about something else until then, and Kara insists on no work talk over meals, but after that we can all talk.”

“Good luck,” Cat says, and Alex can hear the smirk in her voice even without turning to look at the other woman. “Though if she cares about you half as much as you care about her, I don’t think you’ll need it.”

Alex debates answering, debates protesting, but she knows it won’t do her any good. All it would accomplish would be taking time from her talk with Maggie, and Alex isn’t interested in that. She’s put this off for far too long as it is.

***

“So, spill Danvers,” Maggie says once they’re away from Kara’s knowing glances, and Alex takes a deep breath. Suddenly it’s a lot harder to think, all of her planned starting sentences abandoning her as she feels the nerves hit. She can face down a firefight without flinching, but the thought of opening up to Maggie is terrifying. “Come on, you know you can tell me anything.”

“You promise?” Alex can’t help asking, relieved when Maggie nods instantly but doesn’t interrupt. If she doesn’t get this out now, she’s not sure she’ll ever manage. “I just, I’ve been thinking lately. Well, a lot longer than just lately, but _especially_ lately. I went on this mission without you, and it just all felt so wrong. Like you should have been there, like I’d left something behind when I went on my own. And then we almost died, and now that I’m back and alive all I can think about is how stupid it is that I’ve been holding myself back from my feelings.”

She loses steam then, needing some sign from Maggie that she’s not alone in those feelings, that she isn’t making a mistake and ruining the best friendship she’s ever had. Thankfully Maggie seems to understand, moving a step closer and reaching out to rest her hand on Alex’s forearm comfortingly, soft smile on her face as she does.

“You should be able to choose to be happy, Alex,” is all she says, but Alex remembers all the times they’ve talked about that before, all the times Maggie has looked at her this softly. They’d never talked about this specifically, about the emotions they both feel that Alex has never been able to acknowledge, but Maggie has told her often enough that she deserves the chance to decide her own life.

“I want to be happy,” Alex says, moving a little closer as well, close enough that she could lean down and be kissing Maggie. She doesn’t yet, not without being sure that Maggie wants the same thing, but just being that close has her almost lightheaded with wanting. “And Maggie, I want to be happy with you.”

“Then be happy,” Maggie says as she leans up a little, smile widening as Alex’s breathing goes shallow. “Can I kiss you?”

Alex can only nod slightly, not trusting herself to speak. And when Maggie brings their lips together, Alex realizes that she’s made her choice. She chooses this, chooses her.

***

“And what are you smiling at so widely?” Kara hears from behind her as she finishes up the last dish of their evening meal.

Straightening up she sees Cat, looking almost smug with a knowing look on her face, and somehow Kara is sure the older woman knows exactly why she’s smiling. Still, Kara is happy and excited, and now she has someone in the room to share that excitement with.

“I’m pretty sure my sister finally got her act together,” Kara says, still feeling the echoes of Alex’s happiness and joy even though she’s pulled her Force senses in as much as possible to give her sister some privacy. “And it’s long overdue.”

“I see the feelings were mutual then,” Cat says as she walks further into the room, and Kara nods, unsurprised that even Cat had seen the way Alex looked when she talked about Maggie. She’d known her sister was trying to convince Cat to take on a second guard, and as well as Alex could usually hide her feelings it was easy to see the amount of care she had for Maggie. Especially to someone who had made a living on learning to see the truth beneath the surface.

"Oh, that part was never in doubt," Kara says with a small laugh, thinking of all the times she'd seen Maggie looking at Alex with that soft look on her face, all the times she'd seen them after a training session looking as if they were deliberately holding themselves back from each other. They'd been drawn together for years, but until Alex had started to allow herself a life beyond protecting Kara nothing could come of it. "But anyway, dinner is almost done, so as soon as those two tear themselves apart you'll be able to meet Maggie for yourself."

Cat nods slowly and Kara can feel the edge of nerves that the woman hides so well. She's not used to trusting, and Kara understands that. But she knows Maggie will win her over, the same way she'd won Kara over, and Alex.

"Have you thought any more about what I said?" Cat asks quietly, looking over her shoulder as if expecting Alex to come around the corner and catch her. "I think that you would be useful on this trip, and many others after it, Kara. You have skills that could be useful, could help the Resistance grow and fight."

Kara doesn't answer immediately, not sure how to refuse when a part of her longs to take Cat up on her offer. She _has_ thought about it, has wondered what it would be like to go back out into the galaxy and help people. It's what she'd been trained to do, what she'd always seen herself doing with her life. There was so much pain in the galaxy, and she had the ability to help ease at least a fraction of it. Could she really hold herself back from doing so? If it was only her own safety in question, Kara knows the answer would be no. That isn't the way of the Jedi, it isn't _her_ way. She'd been raised knowing that there was a possibility she would be called on to lay down her life to save others, and she'd never shied from that.

But she isn’t hiding for herself, and that made all the difference. She hid to honor the sacrifice of the Danvers, not only Eliza and Jeremiah but also the sacrifices Alex had made every day since then. There was more than herself at stake here, and Kara had to weigh that fact against her own desires. She couldn't be selfish, any choice she made had to be the right one, for the right reasons. Otherwise there was no point in making it to begin with.

"I have thought about it," Kara says, keeping her voice level. If she lets Cat see how troubled she is at this, all she'll be doing is handing the woman more power to convince her. This needs to be Kara's decision alone, not anything she's pushed towards by those around her.

"And?" Cat says when Kara doesn't elaborate, and Kara almost wants to smile at the impatience in her voice. For all Cat's ability to carefully plan each step, it's clear she is not a patient woman at heart.

"And I need to think about it some more," Kara says calmly, looking up at Cat with a serene expression on her face. It's one her old Master had worn on more than one occasion, and Kara remembers how much she'd hated it. He only wore it when she was pushing too much or too fast, and now that Kara is older she understands why he had. And why she'd hated it.

From the look on Cat's face, she isn't the only one who dislikes it, and Kara's composure nearly breaks with the urge to laugh at how disgruntled she looks. But maintaining the expression is the key, and Kara a holds it in place with everything she can.

"Fine, but when you've thought about it, we should talk," Cat insists, and Kara knows that she expects Kara to agree to leave Mandalore and help with the fight. It's clear she sees Kara as a Jedi, with all the honor and duty that comes along with that title, and Kara doesn't know how to explain that things have changed.

She'll always be a Jedi at heart, always want to do what is right and follow the path the Force lays out for her. But she's changed from the time she spent as a Padawan, learned what it means to love and lose people she cares about. Learned how to feel more for those around her than the Jedi would ever allow, and that had changed her.

Where once she would have charged forward blindly, now she considers what it would mean for those around her. And while a similar type of maturity had marked the passage from Padawan to Knight, she can't say honestly that this is the same. There's a detachment inherent in the way of the Jedi, and Kara no longer has that. She can no longer be objective. So if Cat is expecting her to be a Jedi, then Kara will have to disappoint her.

There's also the fact that she's sorely out of practice, not having been able to keep up with more than the most basic skills. And she'd been barely half trained at the time of Order 66 as it was. The Resistance might need the talents of a Jedi, but even if Kara were still able to be the Jedi they need, she wouldn't have the abilities they'd be counting on.

But there's no good way to explain that to Cat, so Kara doesn't even try, just nodding silently as she picks up a few trays and starts to carry them into the dining room, somehow surprised when Cat follows her lead. She isn't sure why, exactly, but somehow Kara hadn't expected to see this side of the woman.

Once the table is set it doesn't take long for everyone to gather. Even M'gann has started to feel well enough to leave the guest room for her meals, and Kara is glad to have everyone she's started to consider family sitting around her as they eat. Even Cat and Winn, though they're still only guests and not members of that inner circle that Kara holds so dear, are welcome.

"So, you two finally figured it out," J'onn says when Alex and Maggie sit, slightly closer to each other than they have in the past. And at their twin flushes, the rest of the table breaks out in smiles and laughter. It's good to have something to be happy about, Kara thinks as she watches her sister smile, even in embarrassment.

"Sometimes it just takes a little bit to make you realize," Maggie says diplomatically, and Alex nods in agreement.

"Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad to see the two of you happy," J'onn says, looking at them with his 'proud father' gaze. "It took you long enough, after all."

"How about we eat now?" Alex says quickly, blush not fading as she starts passing dishes around the table.

"You can't expect us to not comment on this," Kara points out as she scoops out some food for herself, not bothered by the presence of outsiders when it comes to teasing her sister like this. "You two danced around this for years, we're allowed to be happy for you."

"It's probably better if you just let them have this," M'gann points out, voice weak but full of humor. She hasn't been around long, but thanks to the full joining with J'onn she has the memories of watching as the two grew closer as if she had been. "They've been waiting on you two getting your act together."

"I get it," Alex says, looking at Maggie with a smile that doesn't quite hide the fact that she's still embarrassed. "And I am happy. But I know you all. If we don't cut you off, you'll be asking about weddings already."

"Well, they do take some planning," Cat says, not seeming shy about cutting in at all. "You can't blame them for wanting to be prepared."

"We could be married with four lines," Alex points out, fixing Kara with a glare that she knows well. It's the 'don't get any ideas' glare, and Alex only brings it out when she's serious. "And if you make a big deal or start pushing, we won't even tell you until months later."

"You have to let us have a celebration though," Kara pleads, knowing that the vows themselves will be private. That's how Mandalorians are, directly to the point even in matters of spirituality or romance. But if Alex is going to be this happy, then Kara wants to at least have a chance to celebrate that fact. She can't share in a happiness that is wholly Maggie and Alex's, but she can take an opportunity to show them how happy everyone else is for them.

Alex agrees with surprisingly little fight, and the rest of the dinner passes with less emotionally charged conversation as everyone realizes that pushing too hard will likely scare Alex off. Maggie is used to it, used to showing her emotions and taking strength in them, but Alex is still new to it all. She's held herself back for too long, too afraid of losing her focus. Now that she's finally realizing she deserves the chance to be happy, no one wants to see that change.

***

"So, Alex says she trusts you," Cat says when she meets with Maggie and Alex together after dinner, trying for hard eyed and confident though they'd just seen her laughing and joking with the rest a few minutes before. "Should I agree with her assessment?"

In all honesty, Cat has already decided that she trusts Maggie. There's a strength to the woman that Cat recognizes and respects. But she needs to keep up appearances, and trusting Maggie with her identity is a little different than trusting her with her life. Especially on a mission this dangerous.

"Considering Alex is one of the best warriors I've fought beside, I'd say you can trust her judgement, yes," Maggie says evenly, and Cat's impression of her goes up a few notches at the sign of confidence. "I personally helped with most of her training, and she's the best of the best. Take that how you will."

It's a boast, Cat knows, but it's one that is deserved. She's noticed that about these Mandalorians, they don't even pretend to humility they don't feel. If they're proud of something, they make sure you know. And most of the time, they have good reason to be proud. If Maggie had trained Alex, then clearly she's a formidable warrior in her own right.

"I know she mentioned I was considering hiring a second guard," Cat says carefully, not wanting to share too many details just yet, not until she's made her final decision. She thinks Maggie would be useful, but she needs to be sure. "It will be dangerous."

"Of course it will," Maggie says with a snort, not bothering to hide her reaction. "I'm a Mandalorian, we don't exactly sit around on our shebs all day. We like things that go boom, and we like being the ones who set them off. So ask what you really want to ask, because if it's my reaction to danger that's giving you hesitation, then you shouldn't be worried about that."

Oh, Cat likes her. The brash confidence, likely a reaction to finally getting the girl, but mixed with a level of competency that says the self-assurance is earned. She's young, to be sure, but Cat knows talent and ability when she sees it. And if Maggie is willing to come along on something like this, then Cat is willing to let her.

"I've asked Alex to get me to Kuat," Cat says, carefully watching Maggie's reaction to that. It's one thing to take on a challenge, and entirely another to take on a challenge like this. "I'll need past the incoming checkpoints, and then security while I set up a safe house."

"What's the rate?" Maggie asks, not seeming bothered by the inherent level of danger involved. And when Cat names her figure, the same amount she's paying Alex, Maggie nods in satisfaction and doesn't even try to bargain. It's a lot of money, but Cat knows that this mission is more than worth it. If she's right, if Kuat holds the secrets she thinks, then she'll spend any amount of money needed to get there safely.

"I was thinking we could use your ship to get in," Alex says after Maggie agrees, clearly ready to start the planning aspect of the mission. "I could use a false transponder for mine, but if they recognize us then we'll never make it through. They won't be expecting your ship, and you've got those compartments we can use to hide Cat and Winn during the scans."

"We'll have to wait for my dad to get back," Maggie says, but she isn't disagreeing. "That gives us about a month to plan this thing."

Cat wants to chafe at the delay, but she recognizes the necessity. She might not like it, but now that she has a goal in mind she can put her effort into planning and stay distracted. It's only when there's uncertainty that she hates waiting. As long as she knows what's going on, she's fine.

"Well then, let's get planning," she says rather than complain, and the three turn their attention to what they know about Kuat's defenses. They can't plan for everything, but the more they prepare, the less likely they are to be surprised.

***

"Hey Maggie," Kara says with a smile the next evening, not quite cornering her after the latest planning session. Alex is still with Cat, but Maggie had ducked out first, needing to head back to her own place before it got too dark. With three guests, there isn't a bed for her here unless she shared Alex's, and Kara knows her sister is likely still a little unsure about that option. It's not a big deal on Mandalore, but on Ruusan things had been different, and Alex still has to deal with what she'd been taught for the first half of her life.

"Hey Kara, what's up?" Maggie responds, leaning against the wall casually. Kara hopes that Alex hasn't already warned her to keep their destination secret, but she knows that even if she hasn't she likely will soon, and this might be her only chance to get the information. "More planning for that wedding celebration you want us to have?"

"I figured we could wait on that until you guys got back," Kara says teasingly, knowing it will probably take Alex more than a month to wrap her head around the idea of marriage, even though they've practically been dating for years at this point. "No, I was trying to get packs ready for you guys, false ID docs and maybe start working on some disguises, but Alex hasn't had a chance to brief me yet. I need to know how you guys are going in to know how to set these up."

"Oh, well we haven't really figured that out yet," Maggie says with a frown, looking back towards where Alex and Cat are still planning with a frown. "Kuat is pretty caste driven, so it'll take some planning before we're ready to make the docs. I'd say probably solid middle class on the disguises though, the ruling class is pretty insular and we won't have the manners to pull off pretending to be nobles."

"That makes sense," Kara says, careful to keep a calm look on her face, not wanting Maggie to realize how upset she is at this news. She'd known it was going to be dangerous, but she hadn't realized just how dangerous. "I should be able to work with that tomorrow, get a good start on things. You coming back to keep planning?"

"Yeah, I'll probably come back pretty often," Maggie says, not seeming to notice anything out of the ordinary. "We have a lot of planning to do, and then I'll want to keep sparring with Alex to keep ourselves sharp. You're welcome to join."

"I might do that," Kara says, half formed plans swirling in her head as she tries to figure out what to do with this new information. She can't just let Alex go off and do something like this on her own, but won't her presence make things that much more dangerous?

She doesn't have an answer by the time Maggie leaves, but Kara knows she needs to confront Alex with this sooner rather than later, before she has a chance to warn Maggie not to tell Kara where they're going and realize that she already had. This means she likely only has tonight, because even if Alex doesn’t think of it, Maggie might mention something on her own tomorrow about using Kara’s disguises. And Kara wants to start this particular conversation with an advantage.

When she opens the door to the room Alex and Cat have claimed as their headquarters, both women fall silent, and Cat shuts down a projection of their target so quickly that if Kara hadn't already known where they were going, she never would have recognized it. But she does know, and now she has confirmation.

"Kuat?" she asks quietly, looking at Alex and Alex alone. "You're trying to sneak into one of the biggest shipyards in the galaxy? Do you know how dangerous that is?"

From the look on her sister's face Kara knows she does understand, had known that from the way Alex had been trying to shield her from this since she'd landed. But Kara needs to know what Alex is up to, needs to know that she isn't up against something that can't be defeated. And taking on the Empire with a risk like this is starting to feel like one of those battles.

"I knew you'd worry," Alex tries to explain, and Kara nods her understanding. She gets that, she really does. But not knowing had been just as bad. "It's not as bad as you're thinking, Kara. We'll be using Maggie's ship, and all we have to do is get in. That's it."

That's enough, and despite Alex's attempts to downplay the situation, Kara knows it will still be difficult. There's every chance they'll be spotted, that the Empire will realize something is out of the ordinary during their scan. And when they're in the middle of heavily defended Imperial airspace, getting out won't be as easy as it was escaping Celen. And even that had nearly ended with Alex being killed.

"You should have told me," Kara says, looking steadily at her sister. "You should have trusted me, Alex. I was going to worry anyway, you shouldn't hold back information from me. It just makes things harder for us both."

"I know," Alex says softly, looking vaguely ashamed, and Kara pulls her in for a hug, giving Cat a fierce look over her shoulder that she hopes the other woman understands means 'don't let anything happen to my sister'.

"We can talk about this later, okay?" Kara says when she finally steps back, reassured that at least for now Alex is safe. "I need some time to think about this."

"I know," Alex agrees, reaching out to squeeze Kara's forearm gently. "I'll be here when you're ready, okay?"

Nodding once, Kara turns to leave, looking over her shoulder to see Cat studying her carefully. And she might not have all the answers she wants, but suddenly she thinks finding them will be a lot easier.

***

"What if I went with you?" Kara asks a few days later when she manages to catch Cat alone. Maggie and Alex are holed up somewhere together, probably taking the time to actually discuss the shift in their relationship, and Kara is taking advantage of that chance to speak with Cat alone. She knows Alex won't be happy with the idea, and she needs to have discussed it fully with Cat before bringing it up with her sister.

"I wouldn't object," Cat says calmly, looking at Kara with a knowing gaze. "You know I believe your skills would be useful to the Resistance."

"I'm not talking about the Resistance," Kara says shortly, running a hand through her hair as she tries to get ahold of herself. "I'm talking specifically about this one trip, that's it. Not signing up for some life of constant rebellion and intrigue."

"I still wouldn't object. Even for just this, I wouldn't turn down the help." Something in Cat's voice gives her away, and Kara turns to study her carefully.

"Why Kuat?" she asks, eyes narrowed as she tries to figure out what's really going on here. "What's so important that you're willing to risk your life?"

"I risk my life quite a lot, if you hadn't noticed," Cat says, but Kara can sense the deflection even without her Force powers, and her narrowed eyes seem to tell Cat that much. "But you're right, this is different. I need to get to Kuat because I've heard rumors of a new weapon being developed there, one that might put the goal of the Resistance permanently out of reach. And if the rumors are true, then I need to do everything I can to stop it."

"One woman against an Empire," Kara says softly, surprised at how impressed she is by that. No one can accuse Cat Grant of holding back, that's for sure.

"Sometimes all it takes is a single blow," Cat says with a shrug. "I'm not foolish enough to believe that eliminating this weapon will end the battle completely. But I might be able to keep our fighting chance alive, and that's all I can do."

Kara considers that, considers what this new information will mean when it comes to the mission. It's something Alex should probably know in order to plan, but it's also something that doesn't change much when it comes to the stakes getting in so it’s not that serious of an omission. Whether there's some secret research facility or just the premiere shipyard of the Empire, the security will be just as tight, just as difficult to slip past. And considering Alex's contract is only to get Cat safely to the planet surface, knowing what she intends to do there isn't high on the list of things being considered.

But Kara hasn't been hired, hasn't agreed to do what it takes to keep Cat safe. Right now she mostly cares about keeping her sister alive, and doing whatever it takes to make that possible. Which means she wants to know everything, wants to understand exactly what they'll be facing when they arrive.

And that means that the more she knows, the better able she is to make her decisions. Knowing that Alex was heading to Kuat wasn't enough, Kara needed to know everything about the trip, everything that they might face along the way. She had to weigh the risks of her leaving Mandalore against the risks of staying behind where she was unable to help. She couldn't know for sure whether her presence would help or hurt until the time came, but she could at least try to learn everything she could before making her decision.

"Do you think my presence would put us at risk?" Kara asks, needing to hear Cat's thoughts on that. The woman is gifted at weighing every option before making a decision, and that means she'll have considered this one as well. She's probably been thinking about it since she'd realized who Kara was.

"It might," Cat says honestly, and Kara closes her eyes in dismay. "But I fully believe that even if it did, your talents would more than offset that. You could sense danger before any of us, could tell if someone was trailing us, even distract a guard or two at the right moment. So yes, having a fugitive Jedi along for the ride might make things a bit more dangerous. But if you're asking whether it's worth it, then to me the answer is yes."

That's about how Kara had been feeling about it, just without the optimistic outlook on what she'll be able to accomplish. Cat clearly doesn't understand how out of practice Kara is, and maybe that should change before any decisions are made.

"I think I'll join Alex and Maggie this afternoon when they train," Kara says as Alex enters, giving Cat a meaningful look that she hopes the woman understands. "It's been a while since I sparred with either of them."

"That's because you got tired of getting your shebs kicked," Alex says with a smirk, and Kara rolls her eyes at the familiar taunt. There's more to it than that, but they'd both realized early on that framing things that way kept everything from growing too heavy. Better to tease like sisters than bring up the burden of Kara's secret every time.

"I bet I could take you," Kara says with mock seriousness, keeping the smile off her face as she does. "You've gotten soft the past few days, I bet you won't even be a challenge."

"Oh, you are on," Alex says with narrowed eyes, and Kara loses hold of her composure to laugh at the look on her sister's face. "Winner gets to drive next time we head into town."

"The next five times," Kara counters, and Alex hesitates for a moment before nodding. It's clear Kara's confidence is throwing her, but she's unable to back down from the challenge. "Good, now go suit up so we can really do this."

It doesn't take long for them to meet back in the sparring circle, and as Kara circles her sister she lets herself do what she hasn't in years, reaching out for the Force and letting it flow through her completely. She's used it for little things, moving a few objects here and there or reaching out to see how someone is feeling, but this is more than that. This is her surrendering to its will, letting it guide her movements in a way she's resisted for years. It hadn't been safe before, and it's still not safe now, but Kara needs to know whether she can keep up with Alex even without the years of dedicated training. She won't be better, she's too rusty for that, but if she can hold her own then maybe her presence won't be as bad as she's afraid.

Alex lunges in a surprise attack without shifting her weight, but Kara just leans out of the way as the blow passes, throwing one of her own to knock her sister off balance as she moves. And that sets the tone for the rest of their match, Kara never where Alex aims, and always ready with a blow of her own. Never enough to hurt or end the match, but enough that by the time they're both tired, it's clear who the winner is.

"You were using the Force," Alex accuses as they slip off their helmets, and Kara just nods. "That's not safe, Kara. And it's cheating."

"I needed to know if I still could," Kara says calmly, knowing that Alex is about to get very upset and likely storm off after yelling a little. "I want to come with you to Kuat, and I needed to know whether I could still use the Force well enough to make that possible."

"No, absolutely not," Alex says firmly. "You're not coming to Kuat, you're not putting yourself in danger like that. We'll be fine without you, so you're staying here where it's safe."

"I can't stay here when you go off into this much danger," Kara says, trying to stay calm, knowing that no matter what tone she uses Alex will be defensive but needing to keep control of herself anyway. Things will be easier in the future if she can avoid yelling now. "If you're going to risk this, then I need to be there to know you're safe, Alex. I can't lose you, and if I can do anything to keep that from happening, then I will."

"It's too dangerous," Alex protests, not swayed in the slightest by Kara's argument. But then, Kara hadn't expected her to be. The convincing will come later, right now she just needs to get the idea into Alex's head. "You're safe here, and you need to stay that way. I can drop Cat off and get back without you needing to risk yourself."

“You could,” Kara agrees, willing to concede that fact. She trusts Alex, but she needs this just as much as her sister needs to know she’s safe. “But I’m still coming with you.”  
“No, you’re not,” Alex says before turning and storming off without another word, and Kara sighs in defeat. That’s about what she’d expected, but that doesn’t make this any easier.

“I take it you made your decision then,” Cat says from the edge of the room, watching as Maggie hurries off after Alex, and Kara looks up with a wry smile.  
“It wasn’t exactly difficult once I realized that if I went along I could keep Alex safe,” Kara explains, flipping her helmet over in her hands a few times as she debates whether she can get away with putting it back on. She only likes wearing her armor when she can use it as a shield, and right now she’s feeling in need of the mask it provides. But Cat is observant enough that slipping it back on would be a clear sign that Kara is nervous, and she’d rather avoid that.

“Well, whatever your reason, I’m glad to have you along,” Cat says, and Kara looks up as she hears the undercurrent to her words. She can’t quite put her finger on the specifics, but she knows there’s more to it than just appreciating the fact that she’ll have a Jedi and Mandalorian trained fighter on her side.

***

“I can’t let her come,” Alex says as soon as Maggie catches up to her, leaning against the wall of the main building as she struggles to control her breathing. “She’s safe here, if she comes along she’ll be in danger.”

“And that’s her choice,” Maggie says soothingly, not reaching out to Alex even though it’s clear she wants to. “Alex, you know as well as I do that she deserves the chance to make the same decision you did. You can’t keep that from her.”

“Of course I can! I’m her big sister, I’m the one in charge of making sure she’s safe, of course I can make her stay behind. I’ll get Buir to help.” Alex knows it won’t be that simple, that J’onn will probably be on Kara’s side, but right now she needs to grasp at anything that means her sister will be safe. She can walk into danger without flinching, but even the thought of Kara risking herself is too much for Alex.

“Alex,” Maggie starts, stopping when Alex shakes her head. She can’t fight right now, doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. She just wants to pretend it hadn’t happened, that she doesn’t have to even think about Kara going into danger.

“Just let me have this,” Alex says softly, eyes closed as she tries to push reality away for a few moments, one hand reaching out for Maggie’s. And when she feels Maggie take it, she uses the grip to pull her closer and into an embrace that Alex pretends isn’t bordering on desperate. “I’ll deal with it all later, just let me have this for now.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Danvers,” Maggie says, voice soft but teasing, and Alex’s lips turn up into a barely there smile as she lets herself lean on someone other than herself for once.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about the delay on this one, I got completely stuck and could not make the words come. But next chapter the action should start picking back up, and that should help with keeping me on track. In the meantime, have a little bit of fake!relationship and bed!sharing.

The next few days around the bastion are tense, Alex still not quite ready to face Kara and deal with all that would come with doing so. It's better to throw herself into the logistical planning of getting to Kuat, better to drown out her worries and fears with detached facts and considerations. She doesn't have to worry about what might happen to Kara if she's focused on studying the placements of Kuat's satellite defenses, or the different routing paths to the planet surface and which would take them past the fewest Imperial ships.

Kara keeps her distance without complaint, well familiar with the way her sister works. Alex needs the time to think about this, to let it simmer in the back of her mind as she works through her objections and hesitations, and Kara will give it to her. Pushing will only make Alex dig in and refuse to budge, she has to work through things for herself before she can fully accept them. 

So Kara works with Cat and Maggie instead, whichever one isn't with Alex helping her plan. She's made up her mind and knows that Alex will eventually come around and reluctantly accept it, so she wants to be prepared. They still have most of a month before Maggie's father will return and they can go, but that doesn't mean they have time to spare. On a mission like this, no amount of planning will ever be enough to cover every contingency.

"So, have you thought of a cover for us yet?" Alex asks from the doorway one morning as Kara is sitting with Cat, studying the area around where she wants to create her safe house. "We really should start on disguises and identity docs sooner rather than later, the longer they're in the system the less likely they are to flag as falsified."

"We were thinking religious scholars," Kara says softly, understanding that Alex seeking her out like this is the only thing she's going to get in the way of open acceptance of her presence. 

Kara can tell Alex still doesn't like it, her reluctance presses on the Force senses Kara is slowly learning to leave extended once more. But she's at least managed to resign herself to the fact that Kara will insist on coming and there's nothing she can do to stop it. 

"Religious scholars, huh?" Alex asks as she walks closer to the table and studies the map. "Why scholars?"

"There neighborhood I’m looking at has a library with a reputation for containing the largest selection of religious texts on this side of the galaxy," Cat explains, highlighting the building as she speaks. "There will likely be many other scholars in the area, and as long as someone puts in an appearance there each day, there would be nothing to arouse suspicion. It's also close enough to my target to make it an ideal staging point."

"Your target?" Alex asks, zooming the map out a little to examine the surroundings. "So you have people on the ground already who will be able to help you? Decoys and contacts to let you focus on whatever it is you're after?"

There's nothing within the surrounding quadrants that seems to catch Alex's eye, and she looks up at Cat with a questioning expression. It's not a stage of the plan there's any reason for her to have an interest in, but Kara knows Alex by now. She's not asking as a mercenary, she's asking as someone starting to see Cat as more than just another client. After all they've been through, after her secret had come out and Alex had to consciously decide to trust her, they're likely on the way to becoming the most unlikely of friends.

"There is a Resistance cell on Kuat, as you might imagine, but I haven't been able to make contact. Being on such a strategic and highly guarded planet, they're  _ very  _ insular and cautious. I have no way to talk to them from off-planet, and it will likely take time for them to trust me even after I land. They aren't one of my cells, you see."

"If there's already a cell on Kuat, then why the hell do you need to go there?" Alex asks in confusion. "I thought you were in the business of founding Resistance cells on as many planets as you possibly could.

"I am in the business of rebelling, which means I go  _ where  _ needed to do  _ what  _ is needed," Cat says with no small amount of snap, and Kara winces a little. 

She'd known Alex would want to know the details, even if it doesn't really matter as far as her mission goes. Hell, she’d been expecting this conversation for days now. She just wishes that it hadn’t started out quite so argumentative.

"Hey, let's just worry about the cover going in," Kara says, hands raised as she tries to be a voice of reason for both of them. "Is there any explanation for religious scholars hiring Mandalorians to transport them across the galaxy, or would that stand out in ways we don't want?"

"Older Mandalorians often hire out as secure transport if they need the money," Alex says, still looking upset that she doesn't know the details of Cat's mission. But she's a professional, and Kara knows that all she'd needed was the reminder of what exactly she'd been hired to do.

"Well, that's a mild problem, seeing as none of us are exactly old enough to pull that off," Kara says, tilting her head as she tries to think of a solution. "What about injured? We could probably come up with a shell for an arm or leg that contains enough circuitry to read as cybernetic, and then the wearer could fake a limp."

"That could work," Alex says as Cat looks between them, seeming content to let them bounce ideas off each other as they plan this part. Kara fully believes she'd jump in with an objection or idea if she had one, but she seems willing to sit back and let the sisters work together for now.

"So, one injured Mandalorian, two religious scholars, and Cat and Winn hide in the shielded compartments?" Kara asks to clarify, and Alex nods thoughtfully as she thinks it through.

"Definitely should work. Maggie has three compartments, if we stack the armor for the other two in the last one we'll still have it readily accessible but it shouldn't raise suspicion. We can probably still wear our bodysuits under whatever disguises, and it doesn't take much time to get the plates on and sealed if you've already got the bodysuit on."

"So that just leaves the question of who will be who," Cat jumps in, and Kara knows that it's because the Resistance fighter had seen the same thing she had, and realizes that Alex probably won't like it much. "I think it would be best if Kara is the one in armor for this."

Just as Kara had expected, Alex goes red for a moment, and Kara hopes that she stops and thinks it through before she starts yelling. It's the best plan, even if it does mean that Kara will be the one facing down the Imperials directly. She'll have to make contact over the comms, have to present the manifest to the troops that search the ship on entry. Having Kara be the one in armor means she'll be the one attracting attention from the beginning.

But it also means she gets to be the one hiding behind a mask, and for her more than any of the others that's important. Alex and Maggie have no records, even if the Empire does likely have old pictures of Alex from her time on Ruusan. They can deal with that through a fairly simple disguise, nothing major and only enough to disguise her from facial recognition.

Kara on the other hand is a fugitive Jedi, and the Empire hasn't eased up at all on their hunt for any remaining traces of the ancient Order. Every officer and trooper probably sees the updated listings on what Jedi haven't been officially accounted for in the Purge, and after this many years it's not likely to be a very long list. If Cat had been able to figure her out, there's no way the trained soldiers would miss the similarities even with a fake name. Out of those going along, Kara is the one in most need of the helmet and disguise.

"Actually, I think that Kara should be in the third compartment," a voice comes from the doorway, and all three women turn in surprise to see J'onn standing there. "Alex and Maggie can be the scholars, but you need someone the Empire has no way to recognize as the pilot."

"Buir, no," Alex says, understanding just a beat before Kara does.

"Alex, I can't let my daughters go into this threat without me," J'onn says, his voice low and reasonable.

"But what about M'gann?" Kara asks before Alex can go off again. "I thought she still wasn't strong enough to survive without an active connection?"

"Her mind is still fragile, yes, but her body is no longer quite so weak. She can accompany us," J'onn says blandly, and Kara wants to shake her head at that.

"Excuse me, but I think you're forgetting something," Cat says from across the room. "Namely the fact that this is  _ my  _ mission, and I have hired Alex and Maggie to provide protection. I'm happy to have Kara along given that she's agreed to help, but that's three. You want to add two more people to the number we're sneaking in, without even bothering to consult me on this?"

J'onn doesn't even blink, staring at Cat with a calm look that the former HoloNews star returns without flinching. It's clear to Kara that as far as a battle of wills goes, they're fairly evenly matched. J'onn is a battle hardened mercenary who's dealt with vast amounts of loss in his life, and he doesn't blink easily. But Cat has lived for years on the run, facing down danger every day of her life without flinching. Neither is likely to give in.

"How about we all talk about it, rather than just make decisions and start arguments?" she tries, feeling uncomfortable with the thought of being stuck in the middle between these two.

"I understand where you're coming from, Cat, but these are my daughters," J'onn says, still not looking away from the staring contest between them. "I have promised them both that I would give my life to protect them, and for many years that meant providing a safe place for them to grow up into the strong women they are today. Even when Alex started to go out into the galaxy, I stayed to protect Kara, to keep my promise to Alex. Now you want to take both of my daughters with you as you travel to what might be the most strongly defended Imperial shipyard in the galaxy, and you expect me to stay behind?"

"You make a fair point," Cat says with a nod, her face giving away nothing as she considers what he'd said. "But you haven't explained why I should risk bringing two more fighters with me, just why you're willing to risk it."

"J'onn has certain abilities that are helpful in almost any situation, particularly ones that require infiltration," Kara says, hoping that an actual explanation will help move the decision along and get them all past this tense standoff. "He's a shapeshifter, as is M'gann. They can even shift and hide from sensors, meaning that if M'gann is as healed as Buir says she is, she doesn't need to hide in one of the compartments, she can hide literally anywhere on the ship. And there's no risk of facial recognition getting a match, because they can look like anyone. We just have to run their chosen faces through our own system to make sure they aren't accidentally impersonating someone specific."

"Gods, the Resistance cell you all would make," Cat says with a shake of her head, and Kara sees Alex sending a reproving glare her way. "You make a strong case, Kara. I'd be a fool to turn down their help."

"And no one ever called Cat Grant a fool," Kara says with a smile, though she has to fight to make it look genuine.

The full reality of the situation is hitting her now that J'onn has insisted he come along. The fact that he's willing to drag a half healed M'gann with them says all that needs to be said about the danger levels they'll be facing. And that's only on their approach. Cat will be facing ten times that once they leave, and Kara isn't sure how she feels about that.

She knows that Cat will gladly take the risk for the chance to help save the galaxy, even if it results in her death. And that is one of the bravest things Kara has ever seen, second only to the sacrifices made by her Master and the Danvers that allowed her to survive Order 66. It's a level of selflessness that Kara had once lived and breathed, but not one she'd thought still existed in the galaxy. She hadn't let herself imagine a time where Alex might do the same, though she'd known her sister wouldn't hesitate if it ever came down to that choice. She'd never thought about it, so it had never seemed real to her. She couldn't imagine a world without Alex in it, and she'd never tried.

But now here is Cat, someone with the ability and resources to disappear and live out her life in peace, risking herself anyway. She isn't begging them to help with her fight, she seems fully capable of taking on the Empire single-handedly if that's what the situation demands of her. And Kara suddenly isn't sure that she'll be able to leave once they get there, that she'll be able to walk away from the threat Cat had told her about without at least trying to help.

She's also not sure how to tell Alex that, or what her sister's reaction would likely be. Given the stress of the morning and the way Alex now has to deal with not only her sister but also her father risking their lives on this mission, Kara thinks she'd likely end up locked in the bastion's containment cell to keep her from going on the mission at all. And while Kara understands that, while she half wishes she could do the same to Alex to keep her safe, there's no way she's letting Alex go without her. Not when the stakes are this high.

***

"What is it you're trying to destroy?" Kara asks a few nights later, once she's finally managed to corner Cat alone. "I know Alex is very determinedly not asking, but I need to know."

"I thought you might," Cat says, waving for Kara to follow as she stands and heads back to the room that's become hers over the past week. "I don't have as many details as I'd like, not until I land and make contact with the Resistance cell on Kuat, but what I do know I'll share with you." 

Kara is surprised to see Cat turn on a signal disrupter when the door closes behind them, something she wouldn’t have expected given that they’re on friendly ground. Then again, Kara can’t blame Cat for being cautious. This is her home now, but to Cat it’s just another planet, one with its own risks and potential for being discovered.

"All my source could tell me was that there was a secret research base on Kuat, and the scientists and engineers there were working on developing a weapon that could destroy worlds," Cat explains as she  picks up a datapad and starts to scan through the files it holds, frown on her face as she scrolls. "They'd picked up chatter from some freighters, apparently the first test wasn't as much of a success as the Empire wanted, and they couldn't keep the results shielded from view."

"So the Empire is building a superweapon?" Kara asks with a shiver, thinking back to the horrifying things she'd seen during the Clone Wars. It seemed as if the galaxy had no shortage of cruelty when it came to destroying the lives of others. Even the Republic hadn't been immune, she remembers with a feeling of guilt.

"I'd expect they're developing several," Cat says, watching Kara with a look that's almost sympathetic. "But this is the one I can find, and the one I can do something about."

"What did it do?" Kara asks, trying to regain control of herself and push the old memories aside. She hadn't had this much trouble forgetting in years, but somehow those old memories are closer to the surface now than they have been in years. In the end she has to reach out to the Force and let its calming strength flow through her, but she manages.

"We have no way of knowing what it was meant to do, but from the reports, it shredded a large section of an asteroid field with a single pulse," Cat says, watching Kara carefully, as if she can see the distress the younger woman in feeling. "The fact they deployed it so close to a popular shipping lane likely means that wasn't the intended result, though that's obviously enough of a threat."

Kara nods in understanding, knowing that it's going to be nearly impossible to walk away from this when they land on Kuat. All her arguments for staying safe, all her reasons to stay out of the fight for once, they're less than convincing when all she can think about right now are the remains of bombed out cities, the broken forms of clone troopers and civilians alike as she'd fought at her Master's side. She has a chance to stop more of that from happening, to stop more families from losing their lives and their homes. She might not be able to stop the Empire completely, but maybe she can make this difference.

"Alex isn't going to like this," Kara says when she realizes what she's already decided. "She's not going to like it at all."

"No, I don't expect that she will," Cat says knowingly. "She fights for you, not for the galaxy. It's a different fight, a different strength. But she'll come around."

"Will she?" Kara says, already shaking her head. She knows her sister far better than Cat, and she knows that Alex will likely take this as a betrayal. "Her parents gave their lives to save ours, to save  _ mine _ . They were only in jeopardy because they took me in. I've stayed safe for so long because of that, because I couldn't risk letting their sacrifice be wasted. And Alex has poured everything into protecting me for the same reason."

"They wanted you to have a chance to live," Cat says, pain in her voice that Kara hears but doesn't know how to ask about. "That's what parents do, sometimes. They let their children go because it's what's best for them. And sometimes that means giving their lives to make sure of it. But it doesn't mean they wanted you to live your life in hiding, or that by risking it you ignore their sacrifice. Maybe by taking this risk, you honor it by making sure other parents don't have to make the same choice."

It makes sense to Kara, at least in a way. She isn't sure if it's her own need for rationalization on this, or whether she actually agrees with Cat, but she can figure that out later. For right now, all she knows is that she's made a decision to help Cat, and that means an entirely new level of planning that Alex can't know about, not yet.

"So, what do you know about the research facility," Kara asks, pushing aside her doubts to focus on the problem at hand.

***

Alex smiles as Maggie's speeder comes to a stop in front of the main building, grateful that their planning sessions have given them a reason to spend more time together over the past two weeks. Maggie has been over every day to work through any issues they can think of that might arise, and as they've managed to work through the biggest issues they've gradually started to spend less time planning the mission and more time seeing just how they work together now that there's more between them than just friends.

There have been a few times that Alex has been tempted to ask Maggie to stay the night, but she's never quite been able to make herself take that step. Even if nothing happened, falling asleep with Maggie in her arms would cross a line, one that Alex desperately wishes wasn't there. On Mandalore their relationship is nothing unusual, but on Ruusan that wouldn’t be the case. Maybe in the cities it had been different, but out in the rural areas where there was more farmland than buildings, even the thought of two women or two men together would have gotten them run out of town. And as much as Alex wishes she were past that, between the years growing up with that teaching and then the years of suppressing all her own wants and desires for romance no matter who with, she hasn't managed to come to terms with what this all means for her.

She knows she cares for Maggie, she knows that she enjoys being with her. Alex even knows that there's nothing wrong with what's built between them. But she can't help the feeling of dread deep in her gut when she thinks about taking that step forward. She knows J'onn approves, that he wouldn't turn them out and refuse to acknowledge their existence, but some part of her still half expects it. And until she can manage to get past that, she won't be ready to move forward.

"Hey you," Maggie says as she climbs down, and Alex doesn't let herself think before she's stepping forward to greet her girlfriend with a kiss. She's allowed to want this, she's allowed to be happy.

"Hey," Alex answers as they separate, glad that Maggie had foregone her armor this time around. It's probably in the back of the speeder, but it's nice to hold her without the metal plates in the way. "I wasn't expecting you until later."

"I got bored sitting around, figured I'd see if you wanted to spar a little before we all sat down to talk. Don't want you to get rusty." 

Alex doesn't even bother to dignify that with a response, knowing Maggie is well aware of her daily fitness regimen. She's already been on a run along the outside boundary markers of the steading, something that not only keeps her in shape but lets her keep an eye out for any signs of trouble or intruders.

"Why don't we track down Cat and my sister a little early, that way we aren't trying to plan while tired," Alex offers instead, reluctantly pulling back from Maggie's embrace.

"Fine, ruin all my fun," Maggie pouts, and Alex has to fight to keep from leaning in to kiss the look from her face. If she does that, they won't move from this spot for a while, and she doesn't want to deal with the teasing that's sure to follow if someone catches them.

"I'll make it up to you," Alex promises with a smile before heading inside with Maggie at her side. "I don't even know what Cat wanted to look over today, so maybe it won't take that long."

"You want me to grab Kara while you round up Cat?" Maggie asks when they get inside, and Alex shakes her head no.

"Here lately, if you find one of them you find the other," she explains, heading towards Cat's room first.

"They've been getting close over the past weeks," Maggie points out, and Alex stops suddenly to look at her, wondering what she means by that. "Oh come on Alex, you can't tell me you haven't seen it. I'm not saying anything is going to come of it, but you can't deny there's something going on between them."

"No there's not," Alex denies instantly, even as her gut whispers that Maggie is right. As much as she'd like to see Kara happy with someone, she doesn't want that person to be Cat Grant, most wanted civilian in the Empire. "Besides, Kara has those hangups about relationships in general, remember? There's no way she sees someone that way."

"You mean like there's no way she sees someone as a sister or a father?" Maggie points out logically.

"That's different," Alex says quickly, not surprised when Maggie just shakes her head and moves on. She knows she's being irrationally stubborn, and she knows that Maggie has learned to just let her be when she gets in this mood.

She isn't willing to admit that Maggie might have a point when two blonde heads look up in surprise and a little guilt from whatever they'd been talking about when Alex stops in the open doorway to get their attention. But she notes it, eyes narrowing a bit as she takes in their positions relative to one another as well as the ease and apparent comfort inherent in the closeness. It doesn't mean that Maggie is right, but Alex has to admit it definitely doesn't look like nothing.

"Hey, Maggie's here early and she thought we might be able to get today's planning session out of the way in time for some sparring after, if you two are free to join us," Alex says, watching as Kara stands and offers a hand to help Cat rise.

"Of course, we'll be right out," Cat says with a hint of dismissal, and Alex stares at them for a second longer before turning and heading to the main room, hearing Maggie follow behind her.

"Not a word," is all she says before Maggie has a chance to jump in, not wanting to deal with any of this just yet.

***

"Do you think they heard anything?" Kara asks as soon as Alex and Maggie are out of earshot, looking at Cat with a sheepish expression. They'd decided that leaving the door open was the best way to avoid suspicions as they plan out the second stage of the mission, but that had been with the understanding that Kara would sense someone coming early enough for them to change the topic.

What Kara hadn't expected was how difficult it would be to keep her Force senses extended for longer periods of time, or how much of a struggle it was to not instantly dismiss her family's Force impressions as safe and ignore them. She trusts Alex with her life, and the spark of her life in the Force is a comforting constant, not something she's used to tracking.

"I don't think so," Cat says, head tilted to the side as she thinks. "If she had, I doubt she would have contented herself with the glare she sent my way. It's possible she suspects something is going on, but I don't think she's managed to guess what that is."

Kara has to agree with that, if Alex knew what they'd been planning then a glare would be the least of her reactions. Still, they'll definitely need to be more careful going forward, which mostly means she's going to need to pay more attention to her surroundings. Most of their plan will require her Force abilities, even as rusty as they are. She needs to work on sharpening them now if they're going to have any chance of pulling this off.

Cat hadn't been entirely pleased when Kara explained just what she could and couldn't do after years of hiding, but she also hadn't blamed Kara for any of it. Having a fully trained Jedi along for the ride might have made things easier, but the fact was that if Kara had been a fully trained Jedi, by this point she'd likely be dead.

“You pack up here, I’ll go see what they want,” Kara says as she stands. “Can’t have them getting suspicious, right?”

“Based on the look Maggie gave me, as well as the way Alex was glaring, they’re more likely to think there’s something going on between us personally than they are to assume we’re planning a second mission without them,” Cat says with a small laugh as she starts to gather up plans and schematics from the table.

“That’s ridiculous,” Kara scoffs. “Jedi don’t do relationships, Alex knows that.”

“You are no longer a Jedi, by your own admission.” 

There’s something in Cat’s voice that makes Kara turn in surprise, unwilling to reach out with her Force senses to see if she can tell what it is. Somehow that seems like an invasion of Cat’s privacy, but Kara is still curious.

“There are still some things I can’t let go,” she says carefully, studying Cat to see if there’s any hints to what the woman in feeling in her face.

But Cat is too experienced for that, her face carefully devoid of any emotion as Kara watches. “You’d better go, before they start wondering,” she says, and Kara nods a little in response, still trying to catch up to the thoughts swirling in her head. “And Kara, even if you’re against the idea it might make a decent cover.”   
“I don’t want to lie to my sister,” Kara protests as she stands in the doorway, this time not looking back.

“And if she asks what we’re doing in here?”

“I’ll think about it,” Kara says after a moment of hesitation, the closest she can come to agreement for now.

She’s just going to hope that Alex never asks.

***

The next two weeks pass quickly, the planning and preparations keeping everyone busy. Somehow Kara manages to dodge any conversations about what’s going on between Cat and herself, though Maggie has taken to shooting the two of them pointed looks over any shared meals. Alex however has gone the opposite route, practically ignoring the two of them any time they were together.

And it works for everyone, Maggie clearly amused, Alex obviously not letting herself think about it, and the two conspirators taking advantage of the privacy it gives them to come up with what plans they can manage based on the information they already have.

It’s not until they day before they leave that it actually comes up. Of all things, a discussion about who will pair up to take which of the limited bunks starts the conversation.

“I thought that because Kara and I are sisters, we’re used to sharing,” Alex had protested, and Kara didn’t need Force senses to see the mingled understanding and disappointment coming from Maggie at that one.

Alex still hadn’t been able to move past her discomfort at the thought of sharing a bed with Maggie, no matter how unreasonable she knew it was. For all that she’d accepted Mandalorian culture with a surprising intensity, the marks of her childhood were still there. And Kara knew her sister well enough to know that without a reason, she’d never move past it, she’d just let herself dwell endlessly with no solution in sight.

So with a pointed look to Cat for permission, and a deep breath to settle herself before lying to the person she cares about most in the galaxy, Kara gives her that reason.

“Actually, I wanted to share with Cat,” she says, watching in mild trepidation as everyone stops what they’re doing and looks at her. 

“The two of you?” Alex asks in disbelief, and Kara nods a little, hating herself even as she knows this is what she needs to do. Alex needs a push to actually face what’s troubling her, and she needs the extra time with Cat to finalize their plans and how to tell Alex and J’onn that she’ll be staying.

“I thought Jedi couldn’t have relationships,” Winn says from the back of the room, shrinking into his corner when Alex turns to glare at him. “Forget I said anything, I just go where told,” he says quickly, the light blue shade of his skin darkening as he looks down at his datapad.

“Kara isn’t a Jedi any longer,” Cat jumps in, taking Alex’s glare without flinching. “She has a family, and now she has me.”

“What do you even have in common?” Alex asks in frustration, and Kara moves to stand until Cat waves her down.

“We both remember Coruscant, and the Republic before it fell. I interviewed and respected several Masters that taught her as a child. We know more of the same things and knew more of the same people than either of us can share with anyone else in this room. Is it so surprising that a connection could build from that?”

Cat doesn’t flinch back from the stares being directed at her, but Kara still feels badly that she’s currently facing them alone. Without a word she stands and moves to Cat’s side, unwilling to leave her without any support for this. And if they were truly dating, this would be her place as well. She has to start thinking that way, if she doesn’t want Alex to catch on before they can even leave the planet.

“Alex, I know you don’t approve,” she says, wincing as her sister crosses her arms and looks away. “Just, let me have this? While I can?”

She’s doing her best to imply that it’s temporary, that she knows there’s an end in sight, one that involves leaving Cat on Kuat to go on with her mission. Anything else would be a risk, might make Alex think there’s a chance Kara would stay behind. And given that the story of them dating is designed to throw Alex off that particular trail, making her question Kara’s actions is the last thing she wants. Better to let her think this is temporary, physical, more about two people exploring a connection that already exists in the absence of any other options.

After all, the Jedi had only forbidden actual relationships, not intimacy itself. A temporary fling between two people thrown together by fate wasn’t unheard of even among the usually reserved order. And for Kara, already fallen so far from the teachings of her childhood and secluded from most of the galaxy by necessity, maybe Cat is the only way for her to experience this.

Not that they’re actually doing anything, Kara reminds herself. It’s a cover, just as much as the false docs they’re each packing away. She can’t afford to dwell on why even the thought makes her feel a flash of longing for more than she’s allowed herself over the years.

“Fine,” Alex grounds out eventually, and Kara knows it won’t be the last she hears of this. But with any luck, the rest won’t come until they’re safely on the way to Kuat.

***

“Alex, I can sleep in the medbay if you’re not comfortable,” Maggie says their first night on the ship, and Alex quickly shakes her head. She does want this, wants to know what it’s like to fall asleep next to her girlfriend. She’s not ready for more, but she wants to be ready for this.

“No, stay,” she says when Maggie still hesitates, patting the bunk next to her and shooting her what she hopes is a reassuring smile. “It might take a minute, but I promise I’m okay.”

“Just say the word and I’ll leave, I promise,” Maggie says, but this time she crosses to Alex’s side to settle in, leaving a careful gap between their bodies.

A gap that Alex quickly closes, turning on her side and pulling Maggie closer. She needs the solid reassurance of Maggie’s hold to banish the sudden storm of thoughts that rise up, needs the warm comfort to make herself believe that this is okay. And even if she still hates that Cat is currently curled up with her sister, she’s also grateful that they are. Because without that push, it might have taken Alex even longer to get to this point, the point that she’s slowly relaxing into Maggie’s body.

“It’s just like your first contract,” Maggie whispers into the darkness, and Alex closes her eyes to let the soothing voice wash over her. “You know it’s okay, that you can do it, because you’re already doing it. But this time, it’s us, together. We can do it, because we already are.”

How Maggie had known exactly what to say Alex will probably never know, but she doesn’t question it, just snuggles that little bit closer until she can settle her head on Maggie’s shoulder, her breathing slowly evening out until she manages to fall asleep without even a single thought that this could ever be wrong anywhere in her head.

***

“It’s a bed, Kara,” Cat says with a huff, climbing in and tossing the blanket back to leave space for Kara to climb in after her. “It’s a six day flight to Kuat, you can’t go that long without rest. And if you show up looking exhausted tomorrow morning, your sister will probably drop me out of the airlock, so will you just climb in and go to sleep?”

“It’s not that simple,” Kara says, trying not to whine. It should be that simple, it should be nothing more than two people sharing the limited space on the ship. And yet somehow it is more, somehow Kara can’t make herself cross the small room and settle in. “I haven’t let myself be this close to anyone in years. Even when I couldn’t sleep on my own, I moved a cot into Alex’s room rather than share. It just feels like more, even though I know it isn’t.”

“Then let it be more,” Cat says, rolling her eyes when Kara sends her a look of disbelief. “Oh, not like that. I was never one for an audience anyway, even if you weren’t so staunchly uninterested. But if you’re trying to convince yourself that this is nothing new, nothing unusual, then you’re going to fail because obviously it is something. At very least it’s you opening up to someone other than Alex for the first time in years. So accept that, figure out how to deal with it, and then move on from it. Otherwise we’ll both be exhausted when we finally get to Kuat.”

Kara nods as Cat’s words sink in, admitting that they do make sense. This is something new, and even if she’s making it into a bigger deal that it should be, she needs to recognize that fact.

It ends up not being quite that simple, not that Kara had expected it would be. But she manages to climb in next to Cat only a few minutes later, shutting out the light with a thought and focusing on her breathing in an old meditation trick as she slowly relaxes.

It’s only five nights, after all. She can do five nights.


	13. Chapter 13

For as small a fighter as Maggie's ship was, it was surprisingly easy to avoid someone when you didn't want to face them. And Alex seemed to have decided she didn't want to face Kara, which was both a blessing and a curse.

On one hand, it meant that Kara had more time to plan how she was going to tell her family she would be staying behind on Kuat, something she still hadn't quite figured out. There just didn't seem to be any easy way to get the words out. No matter what she did, she was going to break their hearts. It was her choice and hers alone, but they wouldn't see that, at least not at first. She hoped they would come to understand, but whether they did or not Kara knew this was something she had to do. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't.

"Still overthinking it?" Cat asked the night before they were due to arrive in Kuati airspace.

Kara looked over with a sheepish look, her Kryptonian eyesight meaning she could clearly see the wry expression on Cat's face even in the almost complete darkness. She hadn't known the older woman was still awake, or that she was restless enough to make it obvious she was as well.

"I still haven't decided how to tell them," she says quietly, looking back at the bulkhead above their bunk. "We land tomorrow, and I don't know how to tell them I won't be leaving with them."

"You'll have a few days," Cat says, reaching a hand out to rest carefully on Kara's arm. "The contract is to get me settled in and make sure everything is secure, that won't happen in a single day."

"I know," Kara sighs, letting herself take the comfort offered in the simple gesture. She'd gotten mostly used to having someone next to her like this, to the point she mostly didn't even think about it anymore. But at times like this, it was nice.

She'd gotten used to having no one around her to connect with, other than her family. And while she loved them more than she'd ever thought she could, this was different. This was someone who understood her in a way they didn't, who could look at a galaxy torn by war and darkness and be unable to sit by and do nothing.

She knew why Alex felt that way, knew that her sister didn't care any less than she did. But they cared  _ differently _ . Alex saw the darkness around them and worked to shelter her own, building walls and turning herself into a shield to make sure nothing could break through to threaten her family. She focused her attention on those in her immediate vicinity, throwing everything she could into keeping them safe.

But Kara couldn't do that, not the same way. She'd managed for years by pulling back, by staying in hiding and avoiding contact with the galaxy around her. But once that bubble had burst, she could no more stand idle than a star could just stop burning. Once she'd met Cat, once she'd been brought face to face with the misery the Empire caused, that was it. Kara's mind was made up before she even realized.

Because while Kara cared about her family and those around her just as deeply as Alex did, she couldn't stand by and let other families suffer and die because of her inactions. She would never place her own loved ones in danger, would sacrifice herself in an instant if that's what it took to keep them safe, but she would also do the same for those she'd never even met. She was still too much a Jedi to do otherwise.

And Cat, though she was no Jedi, obviously understood the same. She didn't shy back from dangerous missions that might mean she ended up killed. She jumped into the fray without looking back. She planned for everything she could, but at the end of the day she decided that even if she'd missed something it was worth it to take the risk, because what she was doing was right.

There were still undeniable differences between them, but Cat's outlook on helping the galaxy was the closest Kara had come to feeling at home since the Order had fallen. It felt right, felt like what she should be doing with her life.

She didn't know how to explain all of that to Alex though, couldn't begin to imagine how her sister would take it. As a betrayal, most likely, but what beyond that? Would she insist that they were no longer family? Kara wasn't too afraid that J'onn would disown her, that he would undo the adoption that had made her part of his family, but it was still a possibility. And to lose another family after losing her entire world once before, she didn't know whether she could take that.

Even upsetting Alex would hurt, she knew that well enough. Even if her sister came to accept it, Kara knew that first reaction would probably crush her. She was even tempted to tell Maggie first, just so her sister had someone to lean on who wasn't shocked by the announcement. But asking Maggie to keep a secret from her girlfriend wouldn't be fair to anyone, and Kara had discarded the idea almost immediately.

"What if she hates me?" Kara whispers into the darkness some time later, quiet enough to avoid disrupting Cat's rest if she's managed to fall asleep. "She's the most important person in the galaxy to me, I don't want to hurt her."

"When you love someone, you're going to hurt them," Cat says slowly, her voice just as quiet as Kara's. "It's unavoidable. No matter how good your intentions, no matter how hard you try. When you feel that strongly about someone, whether it's romantic or not, things will never be perfect. All you can do is keep moving forward and doing what you know is right."

The advice helps, though not as much as Kara would like. She knows that Cat is right, but it still hurts to think of how Alex will look at her, the pain Kara is going to cause her. After everything Alex has given up, after everything Alex has lost, Kara hates the thought of adding anything else.

But Cat is right about something else, about moving forward and doing what is right. And Kara knows with a certainty born from the Force that what she's doing now is right. She just hopes that Alex will see eventually see that as well.

***

Alex fights to keep her head down as they prepare to dock at the orbital checkpoint before their actual landing, playing the part of a shy scholar as best she can. She's thankful for the robes that hide her fighter's build, but she knows it will take more than loose fabric to hide from the trained soldiers. If she forgets herself even for a second even the little things like the way she holds herself could give them away. They aren't pretending to be part of a martial order, there's no reason for Alex to stand like a soldier.

The padding in the shoulders of the robe helps, as does Maggie's careful presence by her side. Alex always does better with a constant reminder of what she's protecting, and knowing that the slightest slip will likely get Maggie killed is a powerful incentive to make sure she plays her part well.

J'onn gives them each a reassuring look before donning his helmet, becoming a faceless soldier once more, ready to take the brunt of the Imperial's questioning. The plan is to let him do most of the talking, and if any response from the 'scholars' he's transporting becomes necessary let Maggie take the lead. The less attention drawn to Alex and her disguise, the better.

She stands back as J'onn lowers the ramp, a limp in his step as he walks down that Alex knows means he's shifted into an older body. He'd left all but his blaster and the weapons built into his armor behind in a bid to look as unthreatening as possible. And Alex knows it's part of the plan, that's why her own armor and weapons are stored next to Winn in his shielded compartment, but she hates to see her father walk into the middle of Imperial territory so undefended. She knows instinctively that this mission is more about stealth than force, but she can't shake the years of training that tell her to always have a weapon at hand. Always be ready to strike.

"Itinerary and papers," the officer at the bottom of the ramp says in a cold voice. Alex wonders briefly if she's just projecting her dislike of the Imps onto him, but a quick glance upward is enough to see the arrogant smirk on his face as he looks them over.

She ducks her head once more before she can draw his attention, knowing instinctively that any sign of fight or disrespect will not go well for them. This is a man used to getting his way, used to being in control. Alex can't give him any reason to feel that control is threatened, not if she wants to get through this checkpoint without arousing suspicion and risking everything. Instead she lets J'onn answer his questions, looking down at the bulkhead and trying to give off an aura of calm deference.

As the officer inspects the documents J'onn gives him, looking up at Maggie and Alex every so often as he reads something, two stormtroopers split off to check the ship. Alex fights to keep from reacting as they walk past her and as they walk past the entrances to the compartments where the others hide, knowing that the slightest sign of tension might be enough to give the whole thing away if any of the Imperials are more observant than she wants to give them credit for.

The troopers have returned by the time the officer finishes his careful inspection of the datapad and the ship's inhabitants, and Alex fights the sigh of relief that threatens to escape when they say nothing and merely shake their heads to indicate they found nothing. If she were a normal scholar, she wouldn't be worried that they might, or relieved when they didn't.

"Carry on," the officer says, giving them one last dismissive look before heading down the ramp. "The landing vector will be provided by ground control once you reach orbit."

They're careful to keep in character as J'onn begins to take them into orbit, at least until M'gann materializes behind them in her Gurlanin form, one that only a focused scan will pick up. "All clear, I followed the one trooper the whole time and he didn't leave anything, and I just finished sweeping the rest of the ship. No trackers, listening devices, or anything else that might give us a bad day."

"Well, either they don't suspect us yet, or they know we'd catch anything they left," Alex says, not surprised when her cynicism earns her an eye roll from J'onn. She won't apologize for being on high alert this time around, not when they're bringing two of the most wanted fugitives in the Empire to a highly defended shipyard planet that's always on high alert.

"So far, there's nothing to suspect," Maggie says, reaching out to rest a calming hand on Alex's shoulder. "We have all the right paperwork, our identities are solid, and there's no sign of anything out of place on this ship. As long as we don't overstay our welcome or do something to attract attention, there's no reason for them to give us a second glance."

"She's right," J'onn says, removing his helmet so Alex can see his face and the certainty it holds. "Being cautious is one thing, Alex, but don't start to overthink everything. It can drive you mad before you even realize what you're doing to yourself."

Alex doesn't answer aloud, but she does nod her head in understanding. The words make sense, even if she can't quite shake the feeling that she's missing something.

"M'gann, go tell the others we'll be landing within twenty minutes," Maggie says when Alex doesn't seem inclined to argue.

And as much as Alex knows they'd already been past the point of no return, she can't shake the feeling of a bulkhead shutting behind her as J'onn carefully follows the landing instructions appearing on his displays. Whatever it is she's missing, whatever she's not seeing, she'll just have to make sure it doesn't catch her unprepared.

***

Kara thumps carefully against the door to her compartment when M'gann delivers the message, letting her know the message had been received. She can't wait to get out of this tiny compartment, even if she'll be trading it for an equally cramped shipping box until they can make it to Cat's safehouse.

At least it will be a step forward, away from the lingering sense of fear in the stale air around her. She hadn't been prepared for the feel of clone minds in the Force, or for her instinctive reaction. Even though she hadn't been around any troopers the night of Order 66, she still knew the way their minds felt, still knew what they were capable of. And even if the stormtroopers that had searched the ship felt subtly different from the troopers she'd known and fought beside, the similarities were enough to bring back the memories of that night and the way the Force had echoed with the loss of thousands.

If only there was time to meditate, Kara thought as she consciously slowed her breathing and tried to push the fear away. There was every chance she would come face to face with more troopers during this mission, or at least be close enough to feel them in the Force. She couldn't let herself fall apart every time. She needed to be stronger than that.

Finally she feels the ship land, and it's not long after that when the door to the compartment swings open to reveal a worried Alex forcing a smile as she stretches a hand out to help. Knowing that she'll need to appear calm and in control to keep Alex from worrying any more, Kara returns the smile as best she can, climbing out of her hiding place and taking a welcome breath of fresh air as she stretches for a moment before she has to curl back into hiding.

"I take it you weren't having much fun in there?" Alex says, the familiar teasing only slightly marred by the edge of tension in her voice.

"You'll find out for yourself soon enough," Kara says with a pointed look, reminding Alex of the exit plan. J'onn is supposed to take off 'alone' after delivering his passengers safely, which means Alex and Maggie will be hiding the same way Kara had on entry.

"Yeah, don't remind me," Alex says sourly, and this time Kara laughs. It's short and sounds out of place, but it's at least genuine. Having Alex at her side will always make things better.

As she gets ready to crawl back into yet another dark and confined space Kara makes eye contact with Cat as she prepares to do the same, and she can't help letting an exaggerated expression of disgust cross her face as she sits. It's enough to earn a glare, but Kara can tell there isn't any heat behind it even before it fades into a look of resignation as Cat begins to crawl into her own packing crate. Obviously neither of them is particularly happy about this part of the plan.

Thankfully the trip to the safehouse is quick. The spaceport they'd chosen is small and out of the way, unlikely to be along any highly patrolled routes for the Imperial forces stationed here. They'd chosen it for exactly that reason, though Kara knows the trained fighters would have preferred to land somewhere further from their final destination.

"Rao, finally," Kara groans as Alex helps her out of the crate, grateful to be done with enclosed spaces for now. She still has to hide, but at least this time it won't be in only a few cubic meters of space.

"Little tight, huh?" Maggie says with a grin from where she's helping Cat out of her own hiding place. "Don't worry, you're free until we blast out of here. You can stretch all you want in here."

"I don't know, it still seems kind of small," Alex says as she looks around, noting the two bedrooms off the main room, as well as the study where Winn is already setting up his equipment. "I think we had more space on the ship."

"You guys did at least," Kara grumbles as she stretches once more. She still remembers enough of her Jedi training to avoid stiffening up in small spaces, but that doesn't mean it doesn't get to her anyway. Her brain needs her to stretch even if her muscles don't.

"Luck of the draw," Maggie says with a wink. "Now then, Alex and I will make a sweep of the neighborhood, including that library you guys mentioned. J'onn can make a sweep of the surrounding areas, scoping out potential backup sites and drop zones. M'gann, you can go with him if you're not up for the separation, or you can stay here and rest."

Kara wants to protest being left to do nothing, but she knows that it's far too risky for her to go out without some kind of face covering. If she's spotted by facial recognition software, she could blow the entire mission before they even have a chance to unpack. She'll have to stay in the shadows, helping out from under cover as much as possible until she and Cat are ready to make the actual assault on the research facility.

"I think it's best that I go with him," M'gann says after thinking about it for a moment. "None of us should go out without someone to watch our backs even if we are sure the Empire doesn't realize we're here."

"Smart plan," Alex says, looking up from where she'd been unpacking her armor. "I think we need to treat this one as enemy territory, Maggie. No one goes out alone, no one goes out without checking in. Kara can stay on comms here with Winn once he's set up, help keep track of everyone."

At least it's something to do, Kara thinks with a sigh, though she knows it's for the best. "We can take it in shifts," she says, wanting to add something to the conversation rather than just going along with what the others say. "Obviously I'm up first, but we can have one on duty, one on standby, and two stood down any time we have everyone back here."

"Smart," Alex says again. "Maggie and I will try to be back within four hours then, and one of us will take over."

"We might be a little longer," J'onn says from next to M'gann. "I want to find a solid location should we need to retreat. Even if most of us will only be here a few days, the safer it is the better. And that will give Cat a solid place to retreat should the need arise."

The woman in question nods in agreement, though she doesn't say anything as the mercenaries gear up. Even Alex and Maggie are strapping on utility belts under their religious robes, a few blasters and vibroblades easily concealed by the loose fabric. Even if their armor would be too bulky to avoid notice, no Mandalorian walks around in enemy territory without at least three weapons.

After that it's not long until the three of them are alone, Winn still setting up his equipment as Kara stares at the boxes around them and trying not to feel overwhelmed. Everything is finally starting to catch up to her, including the realization that in just a few short days she'll be sending her family off while she stays behind.

"Are you okay?" Cat asks after a few moments of Kara standing there unmoving. "Kara, what is it?"

"Oh, it's nothing," Kara says with a quick shake of her head, moving to one of the boxes that holds communications equipment rather than weapons.

"For all the skills the Jedi have, lying is not one of them," Cat says dryly, stepping closer before reaching out to grab Kara's hands and still her movement. "Let's see if I can guess, shall we? You hate lying to your family. You're realizing that in a few days they'll be leaving, and you'll be on your own for the first time in years. You might even be worrying about what it means that you've gotten attached, now that you're acting like a Jedi rather than hiding away."

Kara can't think of an answer for a few seconds, so surprised is she at how accurate Cat's read of her had been. "How did you guess all that?"

"I've built more than a few Resistance cells," Cat says, hands squeezing a little as she steps even closer to Kara. From this close there's nowhere else for Kara to look, no way to avoid Cat's eyes. "I've seen more than my share of struggling Resistance recruits during that time, each of whom has their own issues to overcome. Not to mention my own hesitations and doubts. You start to recognize what people are dealing with, after all of that. And you learn that no matter what you're facing, someone else will be able to at least understand enough to empathize and help you through."

Kara wants to give in to the comfort offered in Cat's words, even if she doesn't quite know how to do so. All she knows is that she's drawn forward as if Cat has Force powers of her own. What she's being drawn towards she can't say, all she knows is she's moving forward to close a little more of the distance between them before her brain can catch up with conscious thought.

"Hey, Cat, do you want me to focus on leaving messages for the Resistance cells first, or do you want me to hack into Imperial command so I can make sure they aren't onto us already?" Winn asks from the doorway of the study. His voice is so unexpected that Kara and Cat both jump, Kara enough that she ends up a few paces away from where she'd been standing before.

"What do you think, Winn?" Cat says after taking a deep breath, turning to fix him with a look that Kara knows would likely freeze her in place if it were turned on her. "Why would we risk sending messages that might be intercepted?"

"Well, I know that after a month of waiting we're kind of on a deadline now," Winn says, shrinking back a little from the heat of that glare. "And our last intelligence was that the Imperials hadn't located the Resistance cell at all, not even to monitor their activities, so I didn't know if you wanted me to reach out first."

"That intelligence is stale by now," Cat says as Kara turns and slips away, locking herself in the bathroom to settle herself. 

She can still hear Cat and Winn in the other room, but at least she doesn't have to face either of them, not while she's still vaguely unsettled from the rush of emotions that she can't explain. They're unfamiliar and a distraction she doesn't need right now, so Kara pushes them down as firmly as she can. When she gets a chance to meditate later, maybe she can work through them, try to figure out what and why she was feeling.

When she finally feels composed enough to face the others again, Kara opens the door, hoping that Cat will be busy enough that she can slip into the study with Winn and check up on the rest of the group. It's been long enough by now that Alex and J'onn should have left some kind of message.

"Anything new?" Kara asks as she settles in next to Winn, grateful that Cat had been putting supplies away in the kitchen. "If I'm supposed to be running communications, why don't you show me how this all works."

"I can do that," Winn says, a little distracted as he finishes typing the last in a string of commands into his own display. "But if you're running comms, you should be on this one over here. That one monitors the perimeter sensors your sister placed before she left."

"Oh, right," Kara says, looking down at the screen and taking in the clear diagram of the house and mapped area around it. "I knew that."

"Hey, I'm sorry for interrupting before," Winn says, turning away from the comm board to give Kara an apologetic look. "I didn't realize I was intruding on a moment."

"You, you weren't," Kara stutters. "We were talking, that's all."

"You don't have to lie to me. It's not like the two of you are a secret or anything. I just got caught up in the rush of settling in and didn't think." He sounds so earnest that Kara can't do anything but forgive him, even if he's wrong about it all.

"It's okay," she says, trying to look reassuring. After all, as far as she knows they're still going with the whole 'dating' charade for now, at least until she's figured out how to tell Alex that she's staying behind to infiltrate a top secret Imperial research facility. "We should have been focusing on settling in ourselves."

"You're allowed to take a moment for yourselves," Winn disagrees. "I should have seen that, as soon as I looked up I realized I'd interrupted something. And the way Cat nearly fried me where I was standing, let's just say next time I need something I'm going to make sure you two aren't busy first."

Kara wants to deny everything, including her own reaction, but she can't think of a way to do that without seeming suspicious. So instead she stands and crosses the room to stand next to Winn and the comm panel. "Why don't you just show me how to work this, and we'll call it good?"

***

"You know she'll be fine," Maggie says, not looking up from whatever boring religious text she'd picked to build their cover. "Quit fidgeting or you'll give us away."

"I can't help it. I know they won't answer when we check in unless it's about something serious, but I don't like not getting any response. It feels like something is wrong." Even with the signal blocker set up to block anyone who might be trying to listen in on their conversation, Alex keeps her wording vague and avoids names. Enemy territory rules mean always assuming someone can hear you, and Alex is not about to risk her sister's safety with a careless slip.

"You know they're probably busy unpacking and settling in anyway. 5 creds says neither of them is the one watching the screens anyway, I'd bet they left that for someone else while they take advantage of not having everyone underfoot." Maggie is smiling down at the words in front of her, ignoring the glare Alex is sending her way. Though the words had been innocent, there had been something teasing in Maggie's voice that implies whatever they're up to is anything but.

"That's my sister," Alex says through clenched teeth, forcing herself to look down at her own display to keep from attracting attention by yelling at Maggie.

"Your sister, and her girlfriend. Come on, you've got to get past being upset about that." Maggie's voice is soft, but Alex can hear the durasteel behind it. It's her own fault, she'd brushed Maggie off every time this conversation had come up during the trip here, and it seems as if her girlfriend has decided she's tired of that.

Now she's trapped, unless she wants to storm off and risk blowing their cover or even doing something memorable that creates a trail as people remember them. Right now they depend on anonymity, on being so unmemorable that there's no way to track them by those they've crossed paths with.

"I'm not upset," Alex mutters, grumbling a little when Maggie gives her a look. "Okay, I'm not upset that they're together. I reserve the right to be upset that they didn't tell me until we took off, and I'm upset that of all the people my sister could have decided to date, she picked the one she did. It's nothing against the woman herself."

"You need to let her have this," Maggie says, fixing Alex with a look that leaves no room for disagreement. "She deserves the same chance to be happy that you do, even if it's just for a few days. You think she wants to spend those days worried about what you're thinking?"

Alex knows that Maggie has a point, but that doesn't mean she has to like it. It does however mean that she'll do her best to hide her discomfort and be there for Kara. That much at least she can do for her sister.

And in the meantime, she can go back to studying the entrances and exits, as well as any hints of hidden security features around the library. A secluded yet public place like this usually makes an excellent rendezvous point for non emergency meetups, not to mention Cat will need to know how tight security is if she intends to make the trip here every day to keep up her cover. It's their job to make sure there's no added risk to the location.

Once she and Maggie have each finished a thorough sweep of the building they head out, walking around the immediate neighborhood as if stretching their legs after a long trip here. They don't see much to take note of, other than a few good defensive positions they flag out of habit. Overall it seems like a quiet area, one with minimal police presence and almost completely ignored by the Imperials, and Alex can feel herself relaxing the tiniest bit as she sees nothing out of place. She still wants Kara off this planet as soon as physically possible, but at least there's nothing that makes her want to make a break for the ship now.

"Seems like a nice place," Maggie says as they begin to circle back around towards the safehouse. "Nice and calm."

"Yeah, the real drama is in the main cities," Alex says, thinking back to the intel she'd studied on the way here. "Out here the caste system relaxes a little, especially in areas like this where it's mostly foreigners. Once you go outside the nice quiet bubble, be careful who you look at sideways."

"Sounds like a seedy bar," Maggie says with a laugh, one Alex echoes because it's true.

"Give me an anarchic warrior culture any day, right?" she asks quietly, ducking her head to avoid anyone attempting to read her lips. "At least then you get to punch the person giving you grief."

"Punch, kick, stab, whatever it takes," Maggie agrees, winding her arm through Alex's as they walk up the path to the safehouse. "Those are the true finer things in life."

Alex is still laughing when the door opens, still smiling when she walks into the main room with Maggie close behind her. The smile doesn't fade until the words she hears from Kara sink in, until she realizes that she hadn't misheard, that it wasn't her brain playing tricks on her.

"I still don't know how to tell her I'm staying."


	14. Chapter 14

"Winn says he's making progress on hacking the Imperial systems," Kara says once she gets bored of monitoring the comms. Sitting in one place isn't her favorite thing, though she can do it if she has to. She'd rather be up and moving, and once Winn had caught onto that fact he'd connected her personal comm unit to the main display so she'll get an alert if anything changes.

She'd at least made it a few hours, she really should get some kind of credit for that much.

"Good, the sooner we know if they're suspicious of anything the sooner we can get to acting," Cat says, placing another sensor against the walls as she continues to reinforce their perimeter.

Kara recognizes the models from the war, and has to admit she's impressed with the kind of tech Cat seems capable of getting her hands on. From the anti-surveillance gauze on the windows that keep anyone from catching a glimpse inside to the low-level sound emitters they were now well protected from all but the most determined attempts to crack their security. And once they settle in a bit and can get the rest of the perimeter sensors up, they'll have more than enough warning to vacate before any has a chance to break through their defenses.

"When do you think we'll make contact with the local Resistance group?" Kara asks, reaching out without being asked to grab the next sensor and place it where Cat indicates with a tilt of her head.

"Depends on what Winn finds," Cat says distractedly, stepping back to study the walls in front of her. "If he finds that security has been tightened, or even that they're on standby to do just that, we'll need to take another run at the plan to account for that. If they're still convinced no one knows the facility is located on-planet, then we might make contact before the week is out. Of course, it might be a bit longer before they actually trust us enough to meet."

"I can't really blame them for that," Kara says, eyes narrowing as she takes in Cat's slight frown. "What's wrong?"

"The ceilings here are higher than I'm used to, I'd really like to put a few of these up there to make sure the sound field covers everything, but I can't reach." The seriousness of the situation keeps Kara from making a joke at how put out Cat seems by that fact, but it's a near thing.

"Here, let me," she says instead, reaching out to take the one Cat is holding. It's been years since she'd last tried this particular trick, but it shouldn't be that hard for her. One part is an innate ability and the other is one of the Force skills she's still in fair control of, it's just a matter of remembering how to make them work together.

It takes a minute, but once she manages to find the right combination Kara jumps lightly, using the Force to hold herself aloft as she carefully manipulates the gravity fields around her body to make herself a light as possible. Size might not matter to a Master like Yoda, but it's undeniably easier for a novice like her to control a lighter weight than it is a heavier one.

It's not until she lands, each of the sensors in place, that Kara realizes Cat is looking at her in amazement. "What?" she asks self-consciously, landing in front of the other woman carefully.

"You didn't tell me you could fly," Cat says, as if that should have been obvious. "Do you know how many options that opens up for us? You can get past pressure sensors, fly above motion detectors if they're lazy about the placement, you can hover above doors and get the drop on any guards that come after us. Flight is an undeniable tactical advantage, Kara. You can't leave details like that out."

"I kind of forgot about it," Kara says sheepishly. "And it's more like hovering, I can't actually fly like a Toydarian or a Diathim. I just manipulate the gravity fields around myself until I'm light enough to lift with the Force."

"It's still an important fact," Cat says, shaking her head a little as she absorbs the new possibilities. "It will make a stealth approach much easier. Given that we won't have a lot of manpower to spare, the easier it is to get in the better."

"I wish Alex was coming with us." It's the first time Kara has voiced that much aloud, though she knows it's been obvious to someone as adept at seeing hidden emotions as Cat has proven herself to be. "I know you said we'd probably have a few of the Resistance fighters to help us out, but I'd feel a lot more comfortable with her at our backs."

Even though Kara wasn't much of a trained fighter, she'd still lived alongside Mandalorians long enough to have picked up on the important things to take with you on any sort of infiltration. And the very first thing on that list? Someone to back you up that you could trust with your life.

Alex was that person for Kara, not some random Resistance fighter she'd never met. And even though Kara knows it's impossible, as much as she wants Alex to be safely off-planet for whatever happens, she can't help wishing they were going into this with the considerable talents of her family backing them up.

"You could still ask," Cat says carefully, obviously remembering the argument the first time she'd suggested that Alex might want to stay and help, for Kara's sake if not for the galaxy's. 'You know she'd want to be there to keep you safe."

"I know," Kara says, hanging her head a little as she considers just how much Alex has given up to keep her safe. "I know she'd much rather be in danger with me than have me go alone, but I don't want her to get hurt, you know? And it doesn't matter anyway, I still don't know how to tell her I'm staying."

The look on Cat's face is the only thing that tips Kara off that they aren't alone, and as she spins to see Alex and Maggie standing in the doorway behind them Kara wishes she could redo the last five minutes of her life. She's supposed to be operating on enemy territory rules, but she'd once again forgotten to keep her Force senses extended and aware of everyone around her, including the people she knew and cared about. Not just passive sensing, but an active awareness so she could respond immediately if there was trouble.

And now she's stuck, staring into her sister's eyes and seeing every bit of the betrayal she'd dreaded. There's always been an undercurrent of pain to Alex, a memory of the family and world she'd lost, but over the years that pain has been mostly buried away. She'd found a new family, a new way to live that allowed her to remember her past but gain some distance from it. And now Kara has ripped that distance from her in a single moment, without any explanation or warning at all.

"Alex," Kara starts, stepping forward a half step before stopping, not sure if Alex wants her comfort right now.

"You're staying?" Alex says, voice barely above a whisper. "You're not just putting yourself in danger by coming along in the first place, you're staying in danger after you could leave? What the hell, Kara?"

"I have to help. The Imperials are working on something here that could ruin any chance the Rebellion has of holding out, I have to help destroy it, Alex. I can't let them finish the project and use it to end more innocent lives." Kara is pleading, hoping that Alex will somehow understand her decision, but all she gets is a mask dropping over the pain and betrayal, leaving Kara locked out in a way she hasn't been since her year on Ruusan.

"Why don't we all try to relax a little?" Maggie says, a firm hand on Alex's shoulder seeming to offer some kind of grounding for the emotions Kara can sense rushing through her sister.

It's not enough, she can still feel the overwhelming press of emotions on her extended senses, but now isn't the time to pull back and avoid them. She'd already messed up once, she can't let that happen again. As much as it hurts to feel Alex's pain as well as her own, Kara has to stay alert.

"You're lucky we have a contract, Grant," is all Alex says before turning and walking into the smaller room that she and Maggie would be using until they left. It'll be Winn's eventually, if he ever manages to tear himself away from the screens in the study long enough to use it, but for a few nights they'd decided to let the couples have the rooms for whatever privacy they could find in a very small house crammed full of people.

"Maggie, I swear I didn't mean for her to hear it like that," Kara says, hoping that Maggie will have enough distance from the situation to listen before reacting. "I was going to tell her, I just didn't know how."

"Look, Kara, this one is between you and your sister," Maggie says, but she doesn't look angry so Kara still takes it as a win. "Give her some time to calm down, okay? You know how much she puts into protecting you, she's not going to take this well."

"Make sure she knows I love her, okay?" Kara whispers as Maggie heads after Alex, knowing that right now, the other warrior is the best chance at reaching her sister.

"She knows, but I'll remind her you're not trying to hurt her," Maggie says, and Kara slumps a little in relief as she watches the door close between them. She doesn't know if Maggie agrees with her decision, but she at least seems to understand why Kara is making it. That gives her at least one person who might be on her side in all of this.

"It'll all work out," Cat says from behind her, and Kara turns slowly, wishing she could be so sure. "In the meantime, let's think about how to tell your father so we don't have a repeat of this in a few hours."

It's not what Kara wants to do, but she knows that Cat is right. She should at least get one of the reveals right.

***

"How could she?" Alex asks when she feels the bed dip behind her, knowing it has to be Maggie. "How could she stay? Does she not know how dangerous it is?"

"You know she does," Maggie says, keeping a careful distance as if she can tell how on edge Alex is right now. "But you also know that Kara is the kind of person who cares too much to stand back and do nothing."

"She wasn't doing nothing, she was staying safe." There's a fire in Alex's eyes as she turns over and glares at Maggie, needing some kind of outlet for her anger. "The Empire would kill her on sight if they knew who she was, and now she wants to stay on a world crawling with Imps? And on top of that, go on some mission that I know nothing about."

"Because you didn't ask," Maggie points out, her voice calm even in the fact of Alex's anger. And it's that calm rationality that breaks through the worst of what Alex is feeling, enough to realize that she's taking it out on someone who doesn't deserve it. "Alex, we both know why Kara didn't tell you, and it's not because she doesn't trust you, or because she doesn't appreciate what you've done for her over the years. She didn't tell you because she loves you and didn't want you to worry."

"Well I’m worried now," Alex says, turning back over with a groan. "So forgive me if I don't exactly think too much of her plan."

"We both know you would have locked her in the armory if you'd known before we landed," Maggie teases, and Alex nods her agreement.

"It would have kept her safe, at least. You and I both know she would get out within a day.

"And then what? Hired another Mandalorian to bring her after us? She was always going to find her way here. There's no way Kara would let someone she loved go into danger without her, same as there's no way you're going to let her without you."

"I hate it when you get all logical on me," Alex says, reaching a hand behind herself to pull Maggie closer, finally calm enough to welcome the contact. She's still angry, still hurt and upset, but at least she can breathe now.

"One of us has to be the brains in the operation," Maggie teases, curling up behind Alex without hesitation. "I know you're worried, I know you want to keep her safe, but she deserves the chance to make her own choices. Mandos and Jedi might not be all that similar sometimes, but neither of us like being stuck in a cage."

The words make sense, and Alex forces herself to actually listen to them and consider what Maggie is telling her. Kara is an adult, and she deserves to be treated like one. And that means respecting her choices, no matter how much Alex wants to lock her in a crate and spirit her back to Mandalore where she'll be safe.

"I'm going to be angry for a while longer," Alex says eventually, still thinking over everything Maggie has said. Because as calm as she's managed to be now, she knows it isn't going to last. She's only managing to think rationally now because she's stepped back from the situation and has Maggie right there with her to keep her from overreacting and spiraling.

Once she goes back out to face Kara, she'll be angry all over again, immediately overprotective and ready to do anything to protect her sister. She knows it, and Maggie probably does too. But for right now they can just hold and be held, and make it through.

***

"Is everyone alright?" J'onn asks as soon as he walks through the door, and Kara knows he has to be picking up on the emotions still strong in the air. He might not be able to read their minds the way he can M'gann's, but when the feelings have this much force behind them a telepath of any kind is bound to pick them up.

"Alex found out something and didn't much like it," Kara says, hanging her head in shame as her father gives her a stern look.

"You knew she wouldn't, Kara," he says with a sigh, shaking his head slowly. "Which tells me that her reaction was worse than you expected. What did you do, just blurt it out without thinking?"

"Wait, you know?" Kara asks, looking up in surprise.

"I'm your father, I make it my business to know what's going on with my children," he says, the hint of a smile around his eyes at odds with the stern tone of his voice. "It wasn't that difficult, not with you to holed up all the time, or insisting you were coming on this mission. No matter how strongly you feel about Cat, you wouldn't decide to take the risk without good reason. Alex didn't see it because she didn't want to see it, not because you managed to fool everyone around you."

"Oh," Kara says faintly, letting that roll over in her mind a few times. "Is that why you insisted you were coming along too?"

"I wasn't going to let my daughter go into something dangerous without me," he agrees. "That's also why M'gann volunteered to come. She's healed enough to survive on her own now, so if things take too long and the pilot who brought you needs to leave before attracting attention, she was going to take his form and head off-world until we needed her once more."

"We obviously need to start talking to each other more," Cat says, narrowing her eyes at J'onn appraisingly. "And from now on, there is no debate about who is in charge. This is my mission, this weapon is my duty to stop. We can't have three different plans going on at once and everyone working against each other or the Empire will catch us before we have a chance to start."

"Agreed," J'onn said, not seeming bothered by the fact he was being bossed around by a woman half his size, one with a fraction of the immediate battle experience he had. This was a different battlefield, a different way of fighting. And in this particular fight, that made Cat the leader. "Now, it's my turn to take watch, you two should get some rest. I'm sure tomorrow will be difficult enough without adding sleep deprivation."

Kara nods her agreement before standing and crossing the room to pull J'onn in for a tight hug, knowing that with his armor on he could take the extra force behind the gesture if she lost a little of her careful control. "Thank you, Buir," she whispered against his cheek before stepping back, grateful that even if she'd made a mess of the situation she hadn't lost his love or support.

"Whatever happens, I'll be there with you until the end," he whispers back before letting go and stepping back. "Now go on, you two. Take what time together you can find, there won't be much of it later."

With a nod and a note to ask Cat whether they're continuing the charade of a relationship Kara turns and follows after Cat, unsurprised to find the woman already changed and settled in bed. As she'd learned on the ship during the flight to Kuat, what Cat considered sleepwear could easily serve as combat fatigues should the need arise. They weren't quite as functional as actual fatigues, but if the safe house was attacked in the middle of the night she'd be ready to fight as soon as she grabbed the weapon belt next to her side of the bed.

Kara shrugs into a similar outfit and settles her own belt where she can easily reach it, climbing into bed next to Cat without even a trace of hesitation at this point. Even if she's trying not to dwell on the earlier interaction and the confusing wash of emotions it had brought out in her, she's still grateful for the warmth of connection tonight after hurting Alex so badly.

"At least part of tonight went better than you expected, right?" Cat says after the silence between them has stretched on for a few minutes. "J'onn seemed far more accepting than Alex did, but I think she'll come around."

"Buir has always said we had the right to make our own destiny," Kara explains, thinking back over the years with a fond smile. "I always thought he was encouraging Alex to take a chance, but he never shut me out of it either. I just didn't expect I'd ever have a chance, that there would ever be anything worth the risk of leaving."

"And this is worth the risk?" Cat asks, turning onto her side so she can see Kara's face.

"This is definitely worth the risk," Kara says, turning her head to look at Cat directly. "This is doing what's right to protect as many people as possible. It might not end the war, it might not stop the Empire, but we can at least save someone. Even if it's just one person, shouldn't that be worth it?"

"I'd like to think we could save more than just one by stopping this weapon, but I understand." Cat quiets for a moment to think, and Kara lets her. "Your family still thinks we're together," she says eventually.

Kara nods a little, looking back up at the ceiling to gather her thoughts. "I noticed that. I was going to ask if you wanted to keep pretending, or if you wanted to just tell everyone the truth now that they know I'm staying."

"You're the one most affected by it, but I think we should keep pretending," Cat says, turning onto her back to stare at the ceiling with Kara. "I don't know whether it would be better or worse if they knew the truth, but I do know that leaving things as they are means we don't risk them being worse. And frankly I don't think Alex will think as kindly of me without that added layer of protection."

"I told you, Alex is a professional," Kara argues, though she's not sure she wants to convince Cat that telling the truth will be the better option. "She won't let personal feelings get in the way of what she needs to do."

"I wasn't saying that," Cat scoffs, though Kara can feel a release of tension from Cat's frame that tells her she worried about it at least a little bit. "But you know as well as I do that things could get very uncomfortable during the planning stages if Alex is feeling antagonistic."

Kara wants to deny that one, but she really can't. And between that and not being sure she wants to talk Cat out of the whole idea in the first place, she decides to keep quiet. Better to just go with it, like Cat said. No sense in making things more difficult than they have to be, not if there's any way around it.

"Then I'll trust your judgement," Kara says, falling silent afterwards and waiting for Cat's agreement, and then the unmistakable sounds of her falling asleep.

Once she's sure Cat is fully asleep and won't be woken by a quiet voice, Kara starts her nightly recital of the names of the dead, giving them life again so they'll never truly leave her. She'd never felt shy about this part of her nightly routine until she started sharing the evenings with Cat, not sure she wants to explain what she's doing to someone so unfamiliar with Mandalorian culture. J'onn and Alex understand, they each have their own lists to recite.

But Cat isn't a Mandalorian, and Kara isn't sure how to explain such a private ritual with someone who doesn't already know, not when it always brings back echoes of her loss no matter how many years have passed. She owes it to those who're gone to remember them, but that doesn't make it easier to face each and every night the fact that she's alone in a hostile galaxy. That she'd felt them die, and will never manage to forget that sensation.

When she finally finishes, Kara slips into a deep meditation that she hopes will be more restful than sleep, and without the risk of dreams.

***

She only half gets her wish. She doesn't dream, but she's gotten so used to sleeping rather than meditating that she wakes up still tired, not as rested as she would have been from actual sleep. Still, she's functioned on less in the past, and it's nothing a little caf won't fix.

"Where's Alex?" she asks as she enters the main room after a few quick stretches to help wake her mind up, Force senses extending carefully to encompass the house. After yesterday, she's working harder to make sure she's aware of as much as possible at all times. Eventually, she'll get to the point that it's all second nature.

"She and Maggie went to the library to keep up appearances," J'onn says from where he's cooking breakfast, waving a spatula towards the pot of caf on the counter. "They'll be back later, but I told them to take their time walking around the neighborhood, maybe check out the local shopping areas. I couldn't find a good secondary location yesterday, I'm hoping they have better luck today."

Kara can tell he also hopes that the distance will help Alex calm down a little more, but she doesn't say anything, just nods and grabs a mug so she can start waking up.

"So what are you and M'gann planning for today?" she asks once she's finished half of it, leaning back in her chair to look through the door of the study towards where Winn is showing Cat and M'gann something on one of the screens.

"We were going to go check out the location of the research lab from a distance." Kara nods as she considers that plan, knowing that with their special abilities the pair of Gurlanins will make the perfect recon team. They won't be able to get too close without risking detection, even if they're invisible on scans and to the naked eye, but they'll get a lot closer than anyone else on the team.

"That leaves Cat and I here on comms and planning, right?"

"Exactly," Cat says from the door of the study, close enough to have overheard. "Winn is almost finished hacking into the Imperial database, as soon as he does that and makes sure we're operating without notice, he'll leave a few messages for the local Resistance group so they can share what they know."

"How long do you think it will take for them to believe it's actually us?" Kara asks, knowing that the insular group isn't going to be cheerfully trusting of outsiders. Especially not ones who turn up asking for all the information they have on a highly secure facility.

"I'd say at least a week," Cat says, looking thoughtful as she considers their probable level of distrust.

Kara tries not to feel discouraged, they'd talked about how long this could take, but she's not used to sitting still and doing nothing. Even on Mandalore she'd had the forge to keep her busy, something purely physical to keep her mind from wandering. Here, she has nothing. There isn't even room in the tiny house to spar with someone to start honing those skills.

"Waiting might be hard, Kara, but sometimes it's the best option," J'onn says, seeing through her easily.

"I know, but that doesn't mean I have to like it," she says, pouting playfully as he laughs.

"Take advantage of the calm while you can, once we make a move on the facility calm will be the last thing we find for a while," M'gann says, winking at Cat as she passes on her way to the kitchen. J'onn grumbles a little as he sees the interaction, but Kara knows him well enough to know he feels the same.

And it's weird, having her father almost encouraging her to spend that kind of time with Cat, especially given that they're not actually dating. But at the same time, Kara knows the flush she's now sporting isn't solely embarrassment and discomfort with the idea. It might be mostly that, but there's more to it, a little nugget of something she doesn't want to inspect too carefully.

Rather than respond she just takes the plate J'onn offers her with a smile, carrying it into the study next to Winn so she can start to study some of the monitors in front of him. She doesn't understand anything he's doing on the main screen, but she thinks she can figure out the one for the different sensors Alex and Maggie placed that morning without too much help.

"And, I'm in," Winn announces before she can move from studying the display to actually attempting to interact with it, and Kara turns to watch over his shoulder as he effortlessly accesses the different areas of the Imperial database. Cat joins them a few minutes later, but J'onn and M'gann had left just before he'd made the announcement. "No signs of anything but general knowledge of Resistance activity on planet, no specifics on any of our contacts at all. Looks like they've managed to stay pretty under the radar so far."

"That doesn't surprise me, on a planet like this they're more about gathering information than taking direct action," Cat says, leaning close to Kara's side as they both watch over Winn's shoulder. The sensation nearly jars Kara from her focus, but she manages to catch herself before it can become too much, quickly zeroing in on whatever Winn is doing next.

"No sign they know you've arrived, it'll take me a little bit to hack into the off-world communications but there's no warning of your involvement in any of the main systems. Want me to move forward with making contact?" Winn's fingers fly over the keys with a speed even Kara would be hard pressed to match, and she finds herself deeply impressed by how skilled he is. For all his physical fragility, Winn is obviously no stranger to hard work, even if his work is accomplished behind a computer screen rather than a battlefield.

"Yes, reach out and see what they say. Do what you can to make them trust us, but don't offer anything concrete until they agree to a meetup. It'll be just Kara and I, no one else, so make sure they only send two as well."

With the possibility of contact in reach, Cat seems to come alive, mind racing in a dozen directions as she considers every step they'll need to make over the next few days. It's a new side of the woman, one Kara hasn't seen before, and she finds herself just as impressed with Cat as she'd been with Winn. Perhaps even more, if she's being honest.

The excitement and energy is contagious, and Kara finds herself smiling as she takes in the two in front of her, working seamlessly with the ease of a long partnership as they start to plan the contact, down to what Winn is and isn't allowed to offer.

She might hate sitting still, but at least she'll get her chance to act soon.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about missing a week! Between the holiday and getting a little stuck on some of this I needed a little more time to get everything where I wanted it. But I should be back on track now! And as an apology gift (I say as if this hasn't been plotted out for a while already) there's a special scene towards the end that was lots of fun to write and hopefully will be lots of fun to read.

"You're sure they're expecting a Mandalorian?" Kara asks again, trying to avoid nervously adjusting her armor. She can be as worried as she wants underneath the protective metal, but outwardly she needs to seem as controlled as possible.

"Yes, I told them I'd be bringing along a bodyguard," Cat said, not bothering to hide the way she rolled her eyes. "You can quit worrying about that any time now, this is going to be stressful enough without you adding to it."

"I'm sorry," Kara says, realizing her mistake when Cat sighs at her. She'd already been told twice tonight that she apologizes too much. "I haven't been around this many people in years," she says, lowering her voice to the point she knows Cat will just barely be able to hear her.

"That's why you're in your armor," Cat answers, just as quietly. "And that's why I'm wearing this hood. I do a lot of my work from the shadows, but sometimes there are things you can't do without getting into the thick of things."

"I know," Kara says, scanning their surroundings carefully. Her Force awareness is extended as far as she can reach, watching for any sign that they've been noticed.

But between Cat's disguise and Kara's protective stance that screams 'bodyguard' without her needing to say a word, no one seems to have noticed them. The neighborhood they're in is nice enough that they're just another pair in the crowd, Kara has even offered a friendly nod to another Mandalorian on protection duty of his own a while back. She hadn't recognized the clan sigils on his armor, but just knowing that her disguise wasn't completely unique had helped calm at least a few of her fears.

She does tense a little as she tracks the progress of a pair of troopers patrolling the walkway above them, but their cover seems to hold. She's just nervous, and with a deep breath Kara stretches out to the Force in an attempt to let that emotion flow out of her. This will be easier if she can keep herself calm and under control.

"I always thought meetings like this happened at midnight in some deserted warehouse," Kara says once the troopers are out of sight behind them. "Not during the busiest time of day when there are tons of people around."

"It's easier to hide in a crowd," Cat says, pausing to let an older woman cross in front of them. In contrast to Kara's nerves she'd seemed calm from the beginning. She's not fully relaxed, it's easy enough for Kara to read that with her Force senses extended the way they are, but without that help there would be no way to pick up on anything but confidence in her stance. "There are things that call for a midnight meet, but this isn't one of them. Both sides want a little reassurance that this isn't a trap, and a relatively public location helps with that. Even the Empire tries to avoid collateral damage and civilian casualties on a planet as influential as Kuat."

Kara nods slightly, her frown thankfully hidden by her helmet as she considers just how corrupt and problematic the Empire is. She'd known it was evil and had heard the rumors that the Emperor was a Sith, but Alex and J'onn both had tried to keep her as sheltered from the rest of the galaxy as possible. To hear someone calmly state that the only reason the Empire cared about civilian lives was because they didn't want to deal with the fallout from a scandal was abhorrent. Kara had been around a very pragmatic culture long enough to know the Republic hadn't been perfect, but she likes to think that the Jedi had kept the worst of the excesses in line.

The meetup location does end up being an abandoned building, a restaurant closed temporarily after the previous owner had gone bankrupt. It's down a little side street that's mostly deserted, but still busy enough that Cat waits for Kara's nod before ducking down the side alley and out of sight. It's one thing about Force skills that Kara is finding to be very useful for this kind of sneaking around; the ability to sense if anyone has taken any notice of their behavior.

"Are we early?" Kara asks once they're safely inside, not sensing anyone else in the building.

"By at least three hours," Cat says with a nod, taking a few devices out of her bag and starting a sweep of the place for bugs and any other spy devices that might end up giving them a very bad day. "Based on what I know about the group here, they'll show up about an hour early. That would normally give them enough time to do a thorough sweep without the added risk of lingering in one place for too long. They're vulnerable when they do that."

Kara nods, that makes sense. With the amount of Imperial presence on Kuat the cell here has been mostly focused on intelligence gathering and the occasional strike when the target is too juicy to pass up. Nothing like the groups on other planets with less military presence where active resistance is the norm.

When the sweep comes up clean, Kara slips her helmet off and looks around, searching for a place that's out of the way enough to meditate for a bit. She's still out of practice enough that keeping her Force senses extended is easier that way, but she wants a bit of cover in case she misses something.

"You should find a good corner too," she tells Cat as she finds a place that fits her needs, sinking to the ground. It's not quite as graceful as she could manage without armor, and Kara finds herself missing her Jedi robes for an entirely different reason. They might not have offered much in the way of protection, but they also didn't cut off circulation when she twists the wrong way.

"I think I'd rather keep a bit more old fashioned watch, if you're going to be too focused to keep me company," Cat says, reaching into her bag to pull out a short but fearsome Verpine rifle. Kara recognized it instantly as one Alex had wanted since J'onn decided she was trained enough for something other than the old rifle she'd scavenged from the ship they'd stolen from Ruusan.

In the end it'd been too expensive for J'onn to afford without taking extra missions, and she'd had to settle for a BlasTech A280 instead. It was a solid weapon, and one that had served Alex well over the years, but it didn't have quite the same edge a Verpine gave the wielder. Few types of armor were hardened against physical projectiles, and between that and the face a Verpine was utterly silent until the round impacted against something solid they were the weapon of choice for anyone needing a bit of stealth to go with overwhelming firepower.

She isn't surprised to find Cat had chosen it, nor does she doubt the woman knows exactly how to use it if need be. Cat might prefer words and organization to actually fighting, but that doesn't mean she's unwilling to get her hands dirty. There's a fierceness to her that Kara recognizes well from growing up in a warrior society.

"Should I be feeling worried?" Kara asks, one of her hands reaching towards where she'd stashed her lightsaber before she can help herself. She makes herself sling her own rifle over her shoulder instead, wishing for the familiar heft of the lightsaber hilt in her hand rather than the heavy weight of the blaster.

"There's always an element of fear that goes with these things," Cat says as she takes up a careful position that gives her a clear view of both doors and the stairs. "You could be double crossed, you could be walking into an Imperial trap, you could be meeting exactly who you think you are only to find out they've been less careful than you. Nothing is ever certain, and it's one reason most cells never meet up. Too much risk."

"So why are they agreeing to meet with us now?" Kara asks, her need to learn everything she can keeping her from settling into her meditation. She's managing to keep her senses extended without that crutch well enough, still remembering the last few times she'd let herself be distracted. She can spare a few minutes to listen to Cat's wisdom.

"The potential for gain outweighs the potential loss this time," Cat explains, settling into a more comfortable stance as she piles a few abandoned boxes in front of her to build a makeshift rest for her rifle. "They know that whatever the Empire is developing in there could change the course of the Rebellion, and not for the better. We can't let them finish that kind of firepower."

Kara nods her understanding before closing her eyes and giving herself over to the flow of the Force through her. It comes so much easier when she focuses like this, and if she weren't detached from her emotions almost completely, she'd probably be feeling a bit of regret that she'd lost this feeling for so many years. But in her current state it's only a passing thought, one that barely registers before she sweeps it to the side.

Time passes quickly in that state, and it seems like mere minutes before Kara feels a set of life sparks in the Force that glow with purpose and a hint of desperation. They have to be the Resistance members, and a quick glance at her forearm plate shows Cat had guessed almost exactly right. They're almost exactly an hour earlier than the scheduled time.

"Cat, two presences approaching," Kara whispers, sliding her helmet on and activating her suit's sensors. She wishes for the first time that she'd put a little more in the way of upgrades into the thing, Alex would likely already have the two on target lock before they even open the door.

But Kara is a Jedi, or at least Jedi trained. She has skills to call on that should give her an edge even without added tech. And it's probably better that Alex is far away from this meeting, given how tense things have been since she'd found out the truth. A touchy and overprotective Mandalorian is not the most conducive to sensitive talks.

"Kriff," Kara hears when the door opens, and suddenly she's sweeping her rifle up into a ready position that feels almost as natural as doing the same with her lightsaber, gesturing for Cat to stay down and under cover as she stands and draws attention to herself. She might not have the same advanced tech in her armor that Alex does, but it's still solid beskar and she can take more than a few hits from the hand blaster aimed her way before she goes down.

"Oh, stand down will you," Cat says, annoyance clear in her voice even as she heeds Kara's warning. A misunderstanding is easy enough to shrug off, but a blaster round is another thing entirely. "Jabiim, Elom, Dac, Ithor. Now would you please come inside before someone spots you and calls the Imperials on us?"

At the sound of the code phrase both sides had agreed upon the blaster pointed at Kara wavers before dropping to the Resistance fighter's side as Kara lets her own rifle lower as well. She can tell the man isn't happy about being surprised like this, but Cat does have a point. Standing around in doorways with guns drawn isn't exactly something that goes unnoticed on planets like this.

"You're early," he says once the door closes, posture still tense as if he's ready to spring in any direction. The grip on his blaster doesn't loosen either, and Kara keeps a careful eye on him even as she works to keep her senses extended beyond the building. Cat can handle this, Kara needs to make sure no one sneaks up to give them a very bad day.

"Or you're late," Cat retorts, finally standing from cover, rifle casually propped against her shoulder. "I try not to walk into situations where I don't have the upper hand if I can help it."

"The whole point of a public meeting spot was so neither party has the upper hand," the man argues, and Kara sees his partner shake her head behind him.

"Lead, don't be an ass. If they hadn't shown up first then we'd be in their position and they'd be in ours. You're just upset they beat us here."

Kara studies the woman carefully, grateful for her helmet as she takes in the way she seems completely comfortable with the blaster on her hip, hand never too far away from it even as she seems completely relaxed. It's a stance that reminds her of Alex out of armor, and she recognizes that whoever she is, this woman is likely a formidable foe.

"At least one of you has some sense," Cat says with a put upon sigh, slinging her rifle over her shoulder and moving to take a seat at the counter.

Only the man joins her, and Kara sends the woman another appraising look when she keeps her position by the door, clearly acting as a bodyguard the same way Kara is. She's reminded more of Alex than ever, and finds herself hoping that things here go well and they all manage to stay on the same side. She doesn't even know the woman and already Kara knows she'd hate to fight her.

"I'm Lead," the man says as he sits, and Cat scoffs at the blatant code name.

"You're completely lacking in both trust and creativity," she counters, leaning back in her chair as if completely comfortable. "Both of which are a bit concerning given the amount of risk I'm taking by coming here at all, let alone meeting with you."

"We're all taking a lot of risk here," he says, and Cat inclines her head in recognition of his point.

"Still, you're a fool if you think I'm calling you 'Lead' for the duration of our working arrangement," Cat says, a smile on her face like she hasn't a care in the world.

"He wanted 'Guardian' but I told him I'd smack him if he tried to make it stick," the woman pipes up, and Kara can't help a slight chuckle at the exasperated tone of her voice. "I'm Vasquez."

"I'm James," the man says, giving in without further fight.

"Now was that so hard?" Cat teases, grin taking on a triumphant air. "I'm Cat, and this is Kara. Now, I hear you have some intel about whatever weapon the Empire is building here."

"Not much, and none of it good," James says, leaning forward and settling in for the work they'd come here to do. "Our contact on the inside says it's called the Eviscerator, and it's supposed to emit some kind of pulse that weakens hulls on a near atomic level. One blast from it and all the armor in the world is useless against even the weakest of blasts."

Kara manages to stay silent at the news, playing up the bodyguard role she's fallen into. But it's difficult when faced with news like this. She's been on warships, she knows just how much a crew depends on the armor plating. Shields aren't infallible, and when they go all that stands between a fighter and the cold vacuum are those metal plates.

"Can you get us in?" Cat asks, drawing Kara's attention back to the conversation at hand.

"I can't, but we have someone who can. I can't give you details now, not here and not without permission, but we do have a contact that can get a small force inside."

Cat nods, thinking that over for a moment. Kara knows she's likely running through the various plans they've managed to come up with, narrowing down the options now that they have this information, scant though it is.

"Do you think she can get five of us through at least the first layer of security?" she asks eventually, and Kara lets out a sigh of relief when James nods. She'd been afraid it would only be two or three at most, and she knows Alex would not have liked hearing that news.

"Five should be no problem, and with a number like that she might even get you through the second level. We don't have the firepower to go in yet, but we'd been working towards inserting a dozen fighters and three hackers." James sounds completely certain, and Kara leaves them to the details as she focuses once more on the sounds and sensations from the street outside. She'll hear and register enough of the conversation that Cat will be able to fill her in easily once they're back at the safehouse.

When the mood outside turns watchful, Kara clears her throat and tilts her head at Cat, not wanting to take off her helmet and let anyone else see her face but needing to communicate the shift somehow. It's not quite fear she senses from the people outside, but there's a definite edge of tension she can feel slipping in, one that can't possibly mean good things for them.

"And that's our cue to get out of here," Cat says smoothly, rising from her chair and reaching for her rifle. "You can have someone leave coded information at the dead drop we discussed, I promise my team can have it decoded within a day unless you've come up with something completely new. Until then, we'll have some planning to do."

"There's a tunnel in the basement that leads a few blocks over," Vasquez offers, and Cat nods her acceptance after turning to Kara to double check she doesn't sense any betrayal from the Resistance fighter.

"Lead on then, and we can go our separate ways once we're safely away." Cat doesn't seem to have any hesitation when it comes to trusting them, and Kara realizes it must stem from the trust Cat has in her.

It's a strange feeling, to have someone so confident in her abilities. Alex trusts her completely, but that trust rarely extends to what Kara can do. She isn't trained as well as any of the Mandalorians in the group, isn't even fully trained as a Jedi. Alex knows all of that, and she knows exactly what Kara is and isn't capable of physically. But her Force senses have always been an awkward secret rather than something Alex actively thinks about. And without that edge, and with Alex as protective as she is and always will be, in anything approaching a fight Alex will always see her as someone who needs to be defended rather than someone able to take the lead and do the defending.

In a situation like this, even if Alex had gone along with the offer she'd likely do so with a hand on her blaster and the vibroblade in her gauntlet primed to eject. She wouldn't calmly follow two relatively unknown fighters down a narrow set of stairs and into an unknown and unscouted tunnel. And yet Cat showed no hesitation, following close behind James as Vasquez lead the way and Kara brought up the rear.

"I'll have something for you in two nights," James promises as they reach the exit hatch, holding out his hand for Vasquez to wait a second. "If we can't help you it'll at least be all the information we can gather."

"That's fine," Cat says, not sounding bothered by the fact James isn't offering anything more. Not that Kara blames her. James and Vasquez each seem capable from what little she's seen, but their Resistance cell isn't one of fighters. She'd rather trust the people she knows than rely on half or barely trained civilians who are more comfortable fighting from behind a computer screen. Winn should have that covered all on his own and Kara would rather have a few more blasters along for the trip if they can only get a few people in.

Each pair goes their separate ways without another word once they exit the tunnel. They’ll take a roundabout path back to the safehouse to ensure no one is following them, and Kara is careful to keep all her senses extended to spot any unusual attention being sent their way. If the Empire had been on that street because they somehow knew about the meetup, then a single slip now could cost them everything.

She almost wishes they’d brought along her old armor for Cat, right now she’s the one most likely to be spotted by any Imperial surveillance. Even with the hood and the rest of her disguise, she’s a lot more vulnerable than Kara with her face concealing helmet. The slightly loose fit would probably stand out to any Mandalorian they encounter, but to anyone not extensively familiar with how seriously Mandalorians take their armor it would be a perfect disguise.

They don’t talk much on the way back to the safehouse, both to keep with the impression of bodyguard and employer and to avoid anyone overhearing. But even with backtracking and going out of their way they make good time, so Kara doesn’t mind. There’ll be plenty of opportunity to discuss the meeting and their plans moving forward once they get back.

She hadn’t expected to walk back into an argument, let alone one between Alex and J’onn. Her sister and her father are so similar that Kara could almost forget Alex had been adopted as well, that her sister wasn’t born to J’onn’s clan.

“Hey, what’s going on?” she asks when everyone falls quiet as they walk in.

“We might have installed the best sound dampeners I could get my hands on, but I don’t particularly feel like testing to be sure they work,” Cat adds, hands on her hips as she surveys the group in front of her.

Kara isn’t sure that snark is the right way to go with this one, but she trusts Cat. She just hopes that Alex doesn’t respond in kind and start things back up again. Kara knows her sister enough to know that’s a serious possibility.

“Buir thinks it’s worth the risk to sneak into the facility to recon the layout,” Alex says, voice tight with anger. “Except the whole point is we don’t know anything about their security or whether he’d make it past the entry scans undetected.”

“You know as well as I do that Gurlanins are invisible to scans if we so choose,” J’onn says patiently.

Alex shoots him a look at that, one that has Kara glad she hasn’t yet removed her helmet so she can react without anyone seeing. “You can make yourself invisible to all known scans, but that’s a kriffing research facility Buir! One that’s developing new technology every day. What if one of those projects is a new detection method that could pick you up?”

“Alex is right, Buir, it’s not worth the risk,” Kara jumps in, hoping a calmer argument might help settle things down.

“You don’t get to lecture him about the risk,” Alex snarls as she turns on Kara. She looks angry enough that even in her armor and even knowing Alex will never hurt her Kara can’t help but take a step back. “You’re the only reason we’re still here to begin with, so you don’t get to be the reasonable one now.”

That hurts more than Kara thinks is fair, but she understands where Alex is coming from. They still haven’t talked about it, not after that first fight where Alex stormed off. They haven’t really talked at all in fact. Kara has been too afraid of what Alex might say to bring it up, and Alex has seemed equally reluctant to start the conversation.

That’s obviously been a mistake, Kara realizes as Alex yells at her, all her anger coming out now even though Kara had been on her side. They should have talked about this that night, or at least the next day. Leaving it to fester just means it comes out when Alex is already worked up about something else.

Cat obviously recognizes the same thing, and steps forward before Kara can say a single word. “You two, go talk it out,” she says, pointing at each of the sisters in turn. “J’onn, you and I are going to discuss infiltration plans and security while they do.”

“I don’t care if you’re in charge, he is not going in the front door hoping they won’t notice him!” Kara winces at the volume of Alex’s outburst, but Cat doesn’t even seem to notice.

“I didn’t say he was, it’s a stupid risk that could blow the whole operation,” she says, as calmly as if she were discussing dinner options. “But that doesn’t mean there aren’t other possibilities, the risks and potential of each something we will discuss. But while we do that, you need to talk to your sister.”

Kara has to hand it to her, not many people could face down an angry Alex Danvers without flinching. Even though her sister isn’t in armor, she still has an air of readiness about her that’s easy to pick up on. There’s a tension to her that’s clear as day even in the way she stands, as if all she needs is a reason to spring forward and into an attack.

But Cat seems just as fierce, though her stance is one of solid, unmoving determination. And even though Alex is angry she knows reason when she hears it. With one last angry look towards J’onn she stalks towards the bedroom she’s sharing with Maggie without waiting for Kara to follow.

“Don’t fight too much,” Kara whispers to Cat as she heads the same way.

“I should be saying that to you,” Cat replies dryly, and Kara winces in agreement before opening the door to slip into the room after Alex.

“We should probably talk about this, huh?” she asks rhetorically, sitting carefully next to Alex where her sister has perched on the side of the bed. She almost doesn’t want to take her helmet off, but she knows that for this conversation there needs to be no masks between them.

“We probably should have talked about this before we ever got on that ship,” Alex grumbles, arms crossed as she pointedly doesn’t look at Kara. “I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me you always intended to stay.”

“I didn’t know how,” Kara admits. “I knew you wouldn’t like it, and I can’t blame you. I wouldn’t like it if our situations were reversed. But I couldn’t sit back and do nothing.”

“You should. You don’t owe the galaxy anything. You were safe on Mandalore, you could have _stayed_ safe.” Alex sounds as frightened as she does angry now, and Kara knows that everything her sister is feeling comes from a desire to protect her.

But Kara doesn’t want to be sheltered away from the galaxy, not if it means others will hurt in her place. She’s still too much of a Jedi for that.

“I could have,” she admits quietly, hoping that Alex hears more than just the words she uses. “I could have stayed, but I don’t think I would have been myself if I had. I needed to do this, Alex. I needed to do everything I could to stop this weapon from ever becoming a reality.”

“You don’t owe them anything,” Alex repeats, finally looking at Kara. There’s a hint of tears in her eyes, but Kara knows they’ll never fall. “They’ve taken so much from you, from us both. The Republic, the Empire, even the CIS. They’re all the same, all they do is hurt us. Why can’t we leave the galaxy to its own mess and just stay safe?”

“Because we have the power and ability to help,” Kara says, shrugging helplessly. It’s always been that simple for her, even if deciding to act had taken some time. “Alex, I can’t sit back and maybe let someone else go through the same thing we went through. And if the Empire wins, you know that will happen. Someone else’s parents will die when we could have stopped it. Maybe we can’t win the war here, maybe we can’t do more than be a setback. But every moment we hold them back is a moment someone isn’t dying.”

Kara can see Alex doesn’t feel the same, but she’d expected that. At least now Alex understands where Kara is coming from, and that might be enough. They’ve never been able to truly comprehend most of what the other is feeling. They’re just too different, each of their childhoods vastly unlike the other. Their loss is the only thing they share completely.

But they’ve never needed to understand everything to support each other when it matters. And just as Kara had known when Alex needed to leave Mandalore and see the galaxy, Alex knows that Kara needs this.

“You have to promise you won’t take too many risks,” Alex finally says, leaning into Kara’s side despite the hard armor she’s still wearing. “I know I’m not going to change your mind, but you still have to promise you’ll come through this in one piece.”

Kara opens her mouth to say she can’t promise that, that there’s no way of knowing what they’ll face or what stopping this weapon will demand of them. And Kara has known from the beginning that the cost of winning might be her life. She’s accepted it.

But something stops her, and after a minute Kara realizes it’s something in the fabric of the Force around them, some certainty that isn’t her own. She doesn’t know what will happen to them, but somehow she trusts that they’ll make it through. Maybe not unscathed, definitely not unchanged, but they’ll make it through alive.

“I promise,” she says, feeling that certainty settle into her bones as she pulls Alex close.

***

“That took a while, is everything okay?” Cat asks later when Kara finally slips into their room to take her armor off.

“Yeah, we just needed to talk about everything,” Kara says, stacking her plates next to the door. “And I do mean everything. It’s been forever since we actually talked like that. With everything that’s happened basically since M’gann was hurt we haven’t had much chance.”

“But everything is squared away now?”

“Yeah, we talked it through, figured out where we both stood.” After the evenings they’ve already spend together Kara has lost most of her shyness when it comes to changing, and doesn’t hesitate before switching from her bodysuit to the more comfortable fatigues she wears around the safehouse.

It’s not the same as her old Jedi tunic, but they’re simple and understated enough that she’s always felt comfortable in them despite their military nature. Far more comfortable than she is in armor, though she’s gotten used to it over the years.

“I’m glad to hear it,” Cat says, no trace of anything cutting in her voice. “This shouldn’t come between you two. And I talked to your father, he won’t be trying to slip in through the front door. We’re going to wait and see what information James gives us before we decide further than that.”

“That’s smart,” Kara says, laying down on the bed for a minute to rest before she heads back out to help with dinner. The conversation with Alex had been fairly emotional, and Kara is still trying to regain her balance. “He might even have those schematics J’onn wanted, depending on how much his contact can download without being noticed.”

“That was our thinking, yes,” Cat says, sliding down from where she’d been propped up against the headboard to lay on her side facing Kara. “We might even get passcodes or some other access that will let Winn into the system without needing to worry about his hacking leaving a trace and alerting them. If that’s the case then we should have everything we need to pull this off.”

Cat looks so alive, so animated at the thought of striking a massive blow against the Empire. It transforms her somehow, sheds the world-weary mask Cat usually wears and shows Kara the woman who has managed to do so much in so little time.

It’s that vibrancy that pulls Kara forward, barely aware of what she’s doing until their lips are pressed together, softer and sweeter than anything Kara could have imagined. This time there is no interruption from Winn, nothing to keep them apart as they slowly move closer to each other.

It’s the first time Kara has felt like this, and she wonders whether it would have felt the same if she’d kissed anyone else. Because Cat feels perfect against her, the taste of her mouth leaving Kara feeling almost lightheaded as one hand comes up to tangle carefully in Cat’s hair. She’s not sure anyone else ever _could_ make her feel like this. All she knows is she’s never wanted something as much as she wants this.

“Wait, wait,” Cat says after the kiss breaks so they can breathe, turning onto her back to put a little separation between them. “This isn’t the time to start something, not right before a mission this big. It could be a distraction.”

The fact that she can hear the same longing in Cat’s voice that’s still rushing through her own veins keeps Kara from feeling rejected in any way, as does the lingering sensation of Cat’s lips against her own. And she knows that Cat has a point, that of all the times to start a relationship this isn’t anything like the right one.

But at the same time, Kara wants to be a little reckless. She has that lingering certainty that they’ll all make it through alive, but the Force is frustratingly vague on specifics. And she’s barely trained and very rusty, she could be misinterpreting what she’s feeling completely.

Whether she is or not though, Kara does know that she wants this. She hasn’t quite worked through what ‘this’ encompasses, but she can’t deny the attraction that’s been building between them practically since Cat had discovered her secret. And despite the lingering whispers in her head that Jedi should remain unattached she wants to figure it out. She’s attached enough to the rest of her family, what’s one more?

But as much as she wants to push forward, to protest that there will never be a good time, Kara knows the importance of caution. She’s learned her lesson well after years of hiding. Sometimes you have to be patient in order to get what you want most.

And Kara thinks that Cat is definitely worth waiting for.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about the delay on this. I kept getting stuck because the scene wanted to go somewhere completely different than where I was trying to take it. Finally I just gave in and let them steer, and here we are. Fair warning, there's quite a bit of emotions that come up, and a little talk of death and the dead.

Alex has been on her fair share of missions that require patience. She’s tracked bounties across entire quadrants of space, she’s ferried passengers across the galaxy and watched as they’d settled in. She’d spent days in training learning how to stay completely still under cover, not moving more than a few inches at a time. She knew the benefits of waiting as well as any warrior.

But the two days between Cat making contact and J’onn checking the dead drop were almost enough to drive her crazy.

Even the daily trips to the library with Maggie didn’t seem to help much. It was pure displacement activity, just something to keep their cover intact. It didn’t do much to keep her sharp, or move their mission forward. It just felt like more waiting.

She wanted to be out doing something, anything to get off the planet and back to the safety of Mandalore. Every day they lingered here was another chance for the Empire to find them, to find Kara. And if that happened, Alex knew that their small force would be unable to hold off an entire army indefinitely.

So she wanted to be moving, to be out hunting, to find a way in and take it before the Empire took something from her instead. Sitting around made her feel vulnerable, on edge. She was constantly worried that something was going to go wrong, and it was beginning to affect her focus.

The only good thing about the enforced idleness was the chance to study the way Cat and Kara acted around each other. Alex knew it wasn’t her place to question things, or do anything but offer support to her sister. She knew that, but she still wanted to be sure Cat was good enough to deserve Kara’s love. If there was even a chance that Alex would end up passing on the mantle of Kara’s protector, she needed to be sure it was going to someone worthy of wearing it.

And as much as it pained her, Alex had to admit that Cat did seem up to the challenge. If it weren’t for the likelihood she’d drag Kara into more and more dangerous situations over the years, Alex’s hesitations would be few and far between. She could see how much Cat cared for her sister in the way her gaze softened each time it fell on Kara. She might have missed the hints and signs of their relationship until Kara told her, but now that she knows she wonders how she hadn’t known from the beginning.

“You know, you need to quit glaring at Cat,” Maggie says as she slides into the chair next to where Alex is sitting. “Maybe you should have a talk with her too, it seems to have helped you and Kara.”

“I don’t want to talk to her until I know what I’m going to say,” Alex says, gladly looking away from the woman she’d been studying to focus on her girlfriend instead. She hadn’t even realized her scrutiny had turned into a glare, but just like always Maggie was looking out for her. “I want to be sure she’s good enough for Kara.”

“You and I both know you won’t find anyone you consider good enough for Kara,” Maggie says with a small laugh, quiet enough to keep from attracting attention. “Alex, you’ve spent years protecting her from harm, it’s only natural that you want to protect her heart as well.”

Alex nods reluctantly, knowing Maggie is right even if she doesn’t want to admit it. She’d rather pretend her caution is all about Kara’s safety and the risk Cat poses to that. If that’s all the reason behind her hesitations, then they’re valid. They’re reasonable things to worry about in a galaxy where Kara’s very existence is illegal.

But if she’s just being an overprotective older sister worried about Kara being in love for the first time, then that’s another story entirely. It might be just as understandable, but this isn’t a situation where her personal feelings have any say. This is Kara’s decision. Not Alex’s.

“I’m scared of what a relationship between them will mean,” Alex admits, reaching out a hand to take one of Maggie’s, needing the secure grip to ground her for a moment. “If things between them work out, then what? I can’t see Cat abandoning her work, and if Kara goes along with her then she’ll always be at risk.”

“Under this Empire, I think we’re all at risk,” Maggie points out, entirely too logical about the whole situation. “Alex, the Empire shoots first and interrogates the bodies, you know that as well as I do. We could be taken in a sweep that has nothing to do with us and end up dead or imprisoned just so there were no witnesses. We could take the wrong contract and end up shot down without ever knowing who we were up against. Fierfek, M’gann almost died for that exact reason. There isn’t anywhere safe in this galaxy, not completely. And yes, Kara could hide away on Mandalore or some other half deserted planet and avoid notice for years or decades. But there’s no guarantee that would last forever. There will always be a risk, all that differs is the matter of degree.”

“Why do you always have to be right?” Alex asks, trying not to groan. “Why can’t I just dislike the woman my sister is dating and leave it at that?”

“Because Kara is happy.” There is no hesitation in Maggie’s answer, and Alex knows that’s all the reason Maggie needs. All the reason she should need.

So Alex decides that she can try. If nothing else, she can try to be happy that Kara is happy. And maybe she’ll eventually get around to having that conversation with Cat after all.

Once she can have it calmly, that is.

***

“Your sister has been glaring at me all day,” Cat says when Kara takes the seat next to her.

“I know, I think she’s feeling a bit caged. And I think a lot of things are finally catching up to her.” She’s felt her sister’s nerves steadily growing over the past few days, especially since she’d watched Kara head out the door to meet with an unknown Rebel leader with no real backup. “I don’t think it’s really about you other than the fact that we’re here because it’s your mission. I can talk to her, if you want me to.”

“No, I think she’ll come talk to me eventually,” Cat says thoughtfully, leaning forward to study the city layout once more. “As long as you’re sure she won’t shoot me while there’s still an active contract between us, I think it’ll be fine.”

“I don’t think Alex would shoot you at all,” Kara protests. It earns her a raised brow from Cat, and she hurries to clarify. “Okay, I don’t think she would shoot you without really good reason. And being upset about us is not a really good reason.”

“What about dragging her sister out of safety to go on a potentially deadly mission in the middle of Imperial space?” Cat asks, voice dry as she adjusts a few filters on the city layout, shifting the display to show current traffic patterns and how they line up with the Imperial patrol schedules Winn has pulled.

“Okay, so that might be close to a really good reason,” Kara admits, stealing a glance towards where Alex is sitting next to Maggie. She can feel the way the closeness is helping her sister relax, and she’s once again glad that Alex finally got over her hesitations enough to take a chance with Maggie. “But you’re missing another reason she won’t.”

“And why is that? Because I highly doubt it’s my status as an irreplaceable Resistance figurehead.” Cat’s voice is dry, but Kara can hear the worry and mild amusement both hidden beneath her seemingly disinterested facade.

“No, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t care about that at all,” Kara admits. “But she does care about me, and as long as she thinks you make me happy, she isn’t going to do anything to you. Well, she might yell and vaguely threaten, but nothing beyond that,” she adds after a bit of thought.

She’d tried to keep her tone level for the first part of her statement, but there’s a note of almost longing that she knows Cat hears when the other woman looks up from the map with a surprised and surprisingly gentle look. They haven’t talked about whatever it is between them since the night they’d kissed and agreed it was bad timing, but that doesn’t mean Kara’s forgotten. Not when they haven’t been able to resist reaching out for casual touches when they pass. Not when Kara knows they’ve each moved towards the other while asleep, when conscious thought fades away and leaves only the buried wanting.

It might be the wrong time, but there’s no denying that the attraction between them still exists. And as far as Kara can tell, it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.

“Kara-” Cat begins, only to be cut off by the boundary sensors going off.

Instantly the entire group snaps into motion. Maggie moves to cover Winn as he tries to bring other sensors to bear on whatever it is, rifle in hand as she takes up a crouched position in the doorway. Alex is standing in an alcove that gives her a clear shot at both entries into the house, flashing hand signs to Maggie as they silently communicate firing options and plans of attack.

Kara keeps Cat pressed low, knowing that the trained fighters will need open firing lanes if they’re under attack. The Force isn’t giving her any kind of warning about whoever it is coming up to the door, but that doesn’t reassure as much as it should. She’s too rusty to fully trust herself. Even if the presence walking to the door seems calm and chipper, that doesn’t mean it isn’t an Imperial trap somehow.

When the second ring of sensors goes off, Maggie lines up her rifle on the front door as Alex does the same, gesturing for Kara to cover the rear entrance with her blaster. It’s not as effective as the rifles the others are carrying, but it should be enough to slow anyone coming through down.

“My rifle is on the counter,” Cat whispers into Kara’s ear, barely louder than a breath.

“If I move it now, it might make Alex and Maggie react,” Kara answers just as quietly. “Just stay down and let us handle this.”

She can tell Cat is not impressed with that decision, but she doesn’t argue. Alex and Maggie have trained and fought together probably thousands of times over the years and know how the other will move and react without needing to think about it. They’re a formidable fighting force even without their helmets and shared link.

They’ve also trained with Kara, though with as little interest as Kara had in doing more than just fitting in she isn’t as tuned to their fighting style as they are to each other. But they know her well enough to trust she’ll stay out of the way, and keep Cat down with her.

In order to avoid attracting attention from any Imperial patrols they hadn’t been able to put up any holocams other than a small one over the front door. It leaves them blind to the approach of whoever it is coming to their door, and Kara begins to wonder if the risk of notice might be worth it. Anything has to be better than this suspense.

“It’s the neighbor, we cleared her last week,” Winn calls softly from the study as soon as the woman is in view of their lone cam. “I’ll run a deeper scan on her background.”

“Not while she’s standing outside,” Cat snaps loudly enough for Kara to wince even though she knows their sound dampeners are strong enough to handle the volume easily. “If she is an Imperial agent and they’re trying to see if we’re Rebels, running her details as she makes contact will give us away.”

Kara can feel the mild admiration for Cat’s quick thinking from Maggie and Alex, as well as Winn’s embarrassment at not realizing that fact sooner. But no one seems to be worried about the more pressing matter, which is what to do as soon as the woman knocks on their door.

“Alex, we’re moving,” she calls to her sister, waiting for the head nod before she pops up to pull Cat towards their bedroom. “Winn, shut your door and put up a disruptor device in case she has sensors. Alex, you and Maggie have to play nice, pleasant scholars chatting with a neighbor for a while.”

Cat is nodding approvingly as Kara takes charge and gets everyone thinking about maintaining their cover. Alex and Maggie had been focused on whether they had a clear shot, and Cat had been focused on keeping Winn from making a mistake. Only Kara had managed to think past that in time to keep them from a potentially disastrous outcome.

Pretending they weren’t home was out of the question. Even with the special coating on the windows that keeps them from throwing revealing shadows it’s obvious that someone is home. And refusing to answer the door would only increase suspicions if this is an Imperial agent.

No, the only thing to do is open the door so Alex and Maggie can have a nice conversation while the others hide. At least their group is comprised mostly of those who know the importance of packing lightly, so there isn’t much in the way of personal belongings strewn about. Certainly nothing incriminating, if you get rid of the weapons. 

Once Cat is safely in their room and obviously a bit put out by the fact she hasn’t been able to do much, Kara makes a quick round of the main living area to gather anything that seems out of place or incriminating. Maggie has already grabbed the scholar robes from the room she shares with Alex, and with only a moment of reluctance the warriors hand their rifles over to Kara to add to the impromptu armory currently hidden with Cat. 

“Play nice,” Kara whispers as she whirls into her room, throwing Alex a teasing look as she does. She can feel the tension in her sister’s shoulders even without reaching out, and even with the loose scholar robes Alex has pulled on she knows it will be obvious to their neighbor as well. A teasing look and a lighthearted jab might be enough to remind Alex of the part she needs to play.

After the first few awkward minutes of sitting in silence as the sound dampeners on the door keep them from hearing anything in the main room just as effectively as it keeps any noise they make from being overheard, Kara is fairly convinced that this woman is not an Imperial agent. There’s nothing in her presence that seems strange or out of place, or as if there’s a mask over her true self. She just seems genuinely friendly and interested in what brings Maggie and Alex to Kuat.

Which in today’s galaxy was more suspicious than it might have been, though Kara remembers a time when she was greeted with as much welcome as the woman offers now. Once, this might have been the norm rather than something strange and out of place, and the difference in the galaxy over just a few short years has Kara feeling a little adrift as she remembers what has been lost. It wasn’t just her family, wasn’t just a legacy of Jedi traditions that spanned centuries. It was a way of life for everyone in the galaxy. There was so much fear and dread under the Empire that Kara could practically taste it if she let her senses extend far enough.

“Anything?” Cat asked quietly when Kara relaxes a little.

“I don’t get any sense that she’s hiding or looking for something,” Kara answers, still keeping half her attention on the main room just in case. “She seems to just be that friendly.”

“Of course I pick the safe house next to the chatterbox,” Cat grumbles, settling into the bed as she lays her rifle next to her. “She couldn’t be another antisocial recluse like the rest of the neighborhood?”

"I don't know, I kind of miss the time when people were as friendly as she is," Kara says wistfully. "It's nice to find someone who isn't instantly suspicious of her neighbors."

"I'd probably like it more if she wasn't interrupting the middle of an op," Cat grumbles, but Kara can hear the agreement beneath her sharp tone.

"Just think of it this way, she's giving us a chance to talk without any chance of Alex interrupting or overhearing." Kara knows she's pushing, she knows that Cat already thinks whatever it is between them can't be explored right now. That it will be a distraction when they can't afford to make a single mistake.

But Kara is already distracted, already trying to split her focus between too many things. She can understand far too well now the rules keeping the Jedi from attachments. It's not just the fear of loss, it's the lack of the objectivity the Jedi had cultivated for centuries. They helped guide the galaxy, they couldn't do that if they couldn't step away.

Kara knows why the rules had been there. She can feel the reasoning in every decision she makes these days. In the hesitation as she considers how her actions will affect those she cares about, whether she'll end up hurting them. Protecting them, avoiding bringing them any harm, that's become more important in some ways than their actual goal. She can't be objective, not when it comes to their safety.

They can push away their feelings, sure. They can pretend that nothing is between them. But that doesn't mean it will be true, that they won't still feel that pull towards one another. And Kara is beginning to think that will be more of a distraction than actually acting on things.

"Is there really that much to talk about?" Cat asks, trying for casual even though Kara can feel the edge of unease beneath that calm. "It's not the right time, what more is there to say?"

"What about the fact that there might never be a right time?"

It's more direct than Kara has been in the past, but as she sees Cat react it seems to have been the right choice. Anything less and Cat might have been able to brush the question off as if it were nothing. But like this, with Kara looking straight at Cat and giving her no room for avoidance, it's a different story.

"That may be so," Cat says slowly, clearly looking for the right words. "But that doesn't mean that some aren't more right than others. This is a big operation, Kara. One that has more potential to change the fate of the galaxy than anything else I've ever done. And it's your first mission."

"It's not though," Kara dares to interrupt. "It might be my first mission in a few years, but this isn't my first mission, Cat. I've been on more than you'd think. I've snuck into factories and helped lead negotiations. I've fought on battlefields and I've watch soldiers fall. The whole reason I'm alive today is because I was on a mission. I might not have as much experience as Alex or Maggie, and I might be a little rusty, but I'm not as new to this as you think."

Cat doesn't look convinced by the argument, but she at least doesn't deny anything Kara had said. It might be wildly different situations, but Kara knows she's right on this one. She's done this before, and she won't let Cat say otherwise when she's using it as a reason to avoid their feelings.

"That doesn't change the fact that this is a big mission. Your first or no, it's still a high risk situation. We can't take the chance that this could distract us from doing what we need to do."

"What if it doesn't?" Kara asks, daring to push. She can feel a nudge from somewhere deep inside to keep after this, to keep asking Cat why they can't have what they both want. She isn't sure if it's the Force or just her own longing, but she can't ignore it either way. If Cat shuts her down then so be it, but she needs for them to at least talk about it. Not just hastily decide that the timing doesn't work or it's not worth the risk.

Because for Kara, loving someone has  _ always  _ been a risk.

"But what if it does, Kara? What if you have to decide between saving me or saving Alex, and you hesitate because of something between us that hasn't even had a chance to properly start?" The words hurt, but Kara recognizes that Cat is genuinely concerned about what such a choice might do to her.

"I don't think it would be any easier now," Kara admits. "I can't tell you what I'd choose until it happens, but I know either way I would hate it. But that's the risk we're taking, right? Any one of us could die, or we could all die. I could make that decision and still lose you both. Or you could lose me before I have a chance to make it. There's no way to know, Cat. All I know is how I feel when I'm with you, how I'm starting to feel about you."

Cat just shakes her head at that, and Kara realizes that there's more to the situation than she'd realized. Something else is going on here that Kara has no idea about. Everything Cat had said was the truth, she can sense that well enough. But there's something she isn't saying, some deeper reason that she's scared of taking this chance.

"What are you afraid of?" Kara asks, voice barely above a whisper as she turns to look at Cat completely, shifting until most of her attention is on the other woman. Winn is monitoring the situation with Alex and Maggie and will set off the emergency containment at the first sign of trouble, so for now she can take the time to focus on this instead. "What is holding you back?"

"What if I lose you?" Cat says after several minutes of silence as Kara had sat and watched, sensing the struggle the other woman was going through. "I told myself I would never let myself care about a single person so much again. That it was safer to care for the galaxy, because I could never lose the entire galaxy. Not as long as there was something to fight for. But I  _ could  _ lose you."

"You could," Kara admits, not sure that she's saying the right thing but unable to lie to Cat. "You could lose me, and I could lose you. And losing people can hurt, but it can only destroy us if we let it."

Cat doesn't break down, doesn't cry, doesn't do anything but sit rigidly in place as she seems to stare through Kara. But the emotions she's struggling with are clear in the Force, and Kara nearly flinches back at the wave of pure agony that washes over her. Whoever it is that Cat lost, she hasn't dealt with it. She's just buried it away.

"Will you tell me about them?" Kara asks when Cat starts to come back to herself, losing the long distance stare and focusing on Kara's face. "It can help, and I want to know."

The struggle is visible, far more than the agony of the prior moments. But Kara is patient, and she knows that this time, this is what Cat needs. She needs to let it out, not just hold it inside. Even the Jedi had known the importance of letting yourself feel an emotion before moving past it. You have to work through what you're feeling in order to let go, just shoving it away doesn't solve anything.

Finally Cat nods, and after a deep breath begins to speak. "I had a son, when I was just starting to make it on the HoloNet. A beautiful little boy. He was so sweet, so quiet. He smiled so much, at everything around him. Even the things I couldn't see."

Kara is beginning to understand where this is going, and she reaches out to rest a single comforting hand on Cat's knee. She doesn't dare do more, doesn't dare break the spell falling over them, but she needs Cat to know she's not alone.

"When he was a year old, I brought him to work with me like I always did. The network didn't like it, but they pretended they didn't care. And he was so quiet that it was never a problem. But that day there was a Jedi visitor, she needed to ask one of the reporters a question about something they'd found. And when she saw Carter, when he saw her, that was it. Everyone could see it, see that my little boy knew she was a Jedi even though he was too young to understand what a Jedi was. And we all knew what that meant."

"He was Force sensitive," Kara whispers into the silence as Cat gets lost in her memories. Now that they've started, she knows Cat needs to get everything out and it doesn't seem like she's going to continue without a push.

"He was," Cat said as a slight sob slipped past her control before she pushed her reaction down once more. "They said he was strong in the Force, that he could do so much good. They offered him more of a future than I could. I was already splitting my focus, trying to keep up with my work and take care of him. He deserved more than that."

Cat doesn't make it further than that before her reactions catch up to her, silent tears coursing down her face as she lets the pain out. And Kara knows she's crying too, can feel the tears on her cheeks. She doesn't need Cat to finish to know how the story ends. She'd felt it, even if she hadn't known at the time. She knows now.

"That's why you've worked so hard to establish Rebel cells across the galaxy," Kara says to keep the conversation going. She needs to keep Cat from slipping into her memories, to remind her of what she's working towards now. "You're trying to make up for losing him."

"If I hadn't given him up, he'd still be alive," Cat says hollowly, barely reacting to Kara's words. "I wanted to give him a chance, but I was also selfish. The network wouldn't promote me while I was bringing him to filming, and I wanted to move up. I told myself it was best for both of us, but maybe I was only thinking of myself."

"If you could go back, would you make a different decision now?" Kara asks, even though she knows the answer. Cat needs to hear it far more than she does.

"Of course I would! My beautiful little boy, I'd do anything to get him back." Cat is angry at what probably sounds like an accusation, but Kara had expected that.

"Then you weren't being selfish, Cat. You wanted what was best for him, and at the time you thought letting the Jedi take him was that best. Now, you'd make a different choice. You aren't to blame for what happened to him. The Empire is, and that's why we're working to stop them, right? For your son's memory, and for all the parents out there who could lose their children too. And for the children who could lose their parents." The words don't help as much as Kara would like, but she hadn't really expected them to. What Cat is feeling isn't something that can be easily soothed.

"Blame or not, I still lost him," Cat says, seeming to come back to the moment as she gives a deep, shuddering breath and wipes away the tears on her face.

"But that doesn't mean he's completely gone," Kara says, wondering if the Mandalorian ritual of remembering the dead will help Cat. It's worth a shot, at least. "Mandalorians have a way of remembering those who have gone on before. We recite the names of those we've lost every night, and that keeps them alive. They aren't gone, they're just waiting for us somewhere else, somewhere we can't reach yet. But we will, and in the meantime we can keep them alive in our hearts."

"Is that what you whisper every night?" Cat asks, looking both pained and interested at the thought. "The names of the people you've lost?"

"I thought you were asleep for that," Kara says, looking down with a flush.

"I wake up sometimes," Cat says with a shrug. "But it didn't seem like something I should interrupt."

"That's what I recite, yes," Kara says, pushing her embarrassment aside to continue. "Not everyone, it would take too long. But the ones whose loss impacted me most, I keep their memory alive."

Cat nods, a thoughtful look on her face, and Kara lets her sit quietly and think that over. It might not help, but Kara doesn't know what else to do. And she thinks that maybe this might be what Cat needs to begin healing.

"How do I do it? Is there anything specific I have to say?" Cat seems to have reached the same conclusions as Kara.

"There's a phrase in Mando'a, but I think you can say it in Basic." Kara knows Mandalorians aren't fussy about religion or spiritual matters. The emotions behind it are the important part, not the words themselves.

"Teach me in Mando'a?" Cat asks, and Kara looks at her curiously. "If it's as blunt as the rest of Mandalorian tradition, I have a feeling it might be hard to get the words out in Basic."

Kara nods her head ruefully at that. "It is pretty to the point," she admits. "Mandos don't like to waste time."

Taking a deep breath and preparing to remember her own dead, Kara speaks slowly and carefully, making sure Cat hears each word. She'll repeat it as many times as she needs to, but somehow she doesn't think Cat will take long to remember, and she doesn't think she'll forget.

_ "Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum," _ Cat says once she's sure of the words. There's a bit of an accent, but it's clear that she's had a lot of practice learning new languages in order to seem like less of an outsider. "What does it mean?"

"I'm still alive, you're dead, I'll remember you, so you're eternal," Kara says quietly, knowing the translation will be difficult. Mandos don't shy from death the way most of the galaxy does, and saying it so clearly is going to hurt. Even now the words seem like a dull pain in Kara's gut as she says them in either language. But they're the truth, and trying to talk around the matter won't solve anything.

"Blunt indeed," Cat is all says, though Kara can tell it gets to her. "After I say that, what then?"

"You recite the names." Cat shoots her a look at that, and Kara just shrugs. "Like I said, Mandos don't like to waste time."

It's an understatement if there ever was one, but Cat just nods and repeats herself, taking a deep breath before saying her son's name aloud for the first time Kara thinks maybe in years. "Carter Grant."

"Carter Grant," Kara echoes, adding him to her own list before continuing on. She'd lost him too, even if she hadn't known it until now. 

"I wasn't sure it would, but I think it helps," Cat says when Kara finishes. "I don't know why, but it does."

"I like to think it's because they didn't really leave us to begin with. They just rejoined the Force, and the Force is always with us and around us. They're still right there. Remembering just brings them a little closer." It's not quite a Mandalorian thought, but then Kara isn't quite Mandalorian. She's not quite Jedi anymore either, but something in between.

Cat nods in thoughtful acknowledgement of the thought as she lets herself fall backwards so she's lying on the bed. This is not the direction Kara expected their conversation to take, but she thinks they're both better for it anyway.

"Are they still talking?" she asks eventually, waving towards the door as if she doesn't actually care.

With a sheepish look and a quick sweep of the apartment with her Force senses, Kara realizes the neighbor must have left sometime in the middle of their talk. "Uh, nope. She's gone. Alex and Maggie are talking to Winn, or at least they're all very focused on something together."

"We'd better rejoin them, or they'll think I'm distracting you from the mission," Cat says, though she doesn't sound enthused at the thought of leaving the room.

"Let her think that, you don't have to face them right now," Kara says, laying back herself. She debates for a moment before turning onto her side and pulling Cat close. This isn't the time to finish their earlier conversation, but she can still offer comfort without pushing or needing it to mean more.

"I'll have to face them eventually," Cat argues, but she relaxes into Kara's hold without a fight.

"Eventually can wait until J'onn gets back."

***

"You still can't run a check on her," Alex argues as she leans over the back of Winn's chair, trying to talk him out of doing something very stupid. "If she is an Imperial agent, they'll be watching for anything to do with her being flagged in the system. And if they're suspicious about us in the first place, that means they've caught some hint of our activities."

"That doesn't mean they've noticed my hacking," Winn says, offended at even the insinuation he might have been caught. "I'm very, very good at what I do, there's no way they found even a trace of my presence in their system. Especially without me knowing about it."

"You can't know that for sure," Maggie says, sounding calmer than Alex feels. "Rule one of staying alive is to always assume the enemy is a step ahead of you, and plan accordingly."

"So we just do nothing?" Winn says in disbelief, looking between the two warriors as if they're insane.

"Of course not. We set up careful surveillance on her house, and Buir can break in when we're sure she's gone. He might not be able to risk sneaking past the sensors at the research facility, but anything they have on a safehouse will be a lot lower tech. As long as he stays in Gurlanin or camouflage form he should be able to have a thorough look around for anything out of place." Alex might be more familiar with a much different, in your face, fighting style but she still knows how to be sneaky when the situation calls for it. And J'onn's talents are incredibly useful for the sort of mission they're on now. It's almost enough for Alex to regret having him on escape route duty when they head into the facility, but she knows that's the best place for his talents. He can hang around as long as they need without ever risking the guards seeing a familiar face.

"Speaking of J'onn, he should be back from the dead drop soon, right?" Maggie says with a look at her chrono. "He left about three hours ago, drop is about an hour away with a properly winding route, and double that to get back without pursuit."

"He'll probably take another hour," Alex says, knowing how cautious her father can be. "I wouldn't be surprised if he goes halfway across the planet to be sure no one is on his trail."

"Come now, Alex, I'm not that bad," a familiar voice comes from the door, and Maggie laughs at the look on her face. "Where are Kara and Cat? We should all look at the data together.”

“They hid in their room when the neighbor came for a chat,” Alex explains, watching as J’onn’s brow furrows at that news. “We have a plan to check her out, don’t worry. We just have to be a little more careful when anyone but Maggie or I leaves the apartment for a little while.”

“That’s probably a smart decision anyway,” J’onn says as he heads to knock on the door to let the other two know he’s back. “Particularly as we’ve now made contact with a known Rebel cell. Any nonessential trips out are probably a risk we can’t afford.”

“Smart,” Cat says, opening the door just in time to catch the last of J’onn’s sentence. “I take it you had no problem with the drop?”

“Not at the drop, and not anywhere on the way there or back,” J’onn nods, holding out the package. “And I swept it for every bug I know of.”

“And I have a terminal set up that’s not connected to a data source of any kind,” Winn calls from the study, making Cat nod in satisfaction at the safety precautions. “It’s a little outdated, but it should be able to read anything they’re giving us, and most of the processing power is going towards the decoding process so it shouldn’t take long unless they’ve come up with something completely new.”

“Excellent,” Cat says with a smile that seems just a shade too bright. “Then let’s figure out exactly what we’re up against.”

When Kara follows her out of the room, Alex can’t help studying the way the two act. Cat seems fine, but it’s that determined kind of ‘fine’ that seems more about convincing yourself than anyone else. And Kara is quiet in a way that means she’s worried. Alex had seen it too often to mistake it for anything else. Something had happened, but Alex isn’t sure what. And with the new developments between them all, she isn’t sure whether she’ll ever be allowed to know.

“They’ll tell you about it when they’re ready,” Maggie whispers to Alex as they watch Cat and Winn lean over the console while Kara hovers protectively. “Just because they lean on each other first doesn’t mean she won’t come to you too.”

Alex nods slightly as she continues to watch, not surprised that Maggie picked up on the same things she did. “I still feel a little left out,” she says after a minute, knowing she can be honest with Maggie.

“Because you are. Not maliciously, but come on, Alex. You know as well as I do that there are things about our relationship you don’t want to discuss with Kara. She probably feels the same way. They’re going to have things that are just for them, it doesn’t mean there’s nothing left for you.”

Alex nods as she thinks over Maggie’s words, reluctantly acknowledging the truth in them. She’s still working on being happy they’re together, she’ll have to add this to the list as well.

“And, we’re in,” Winn calls after a few minutes. “Remind me to send them a serious security upgrade, by the way.”

“Do you think there’s any chance they’ve been compromised?” Alex asks immediately. “If we could get in that easily, couldn’t the Empire?”

“If the Empire knew where to find them, maybe,” Winn says, tilting his head as he considers it. “But I don’t see any sign of that in their files, not even the super private ones all the high ranking officers keep on the personal thorns in their side. And believe me, from what the research facility commander keeps on the group, I’d know if he had a lead on them.”

“We’ll go careful,” Cat says when Alex doesn’t seem convinced. “But we can’t turn down the possibility of insider information we don’t have to risk notice to obtain.”

“Well then,” Alex says as she steps forward to join them at the console. “Let’s see what we’re up against, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I keep getting asked, yes I really did that. Yes I am very sorry. I've been toying with the idea for about 10 chapters now, not sure if I wanted to include it. Some of you guys have picked up on the hints scattered around that Cat's story might be more tragic than it seemed. Then this chapter came up, and it was supposed to be some fairly light relationship negotiation. Then this happened instead.
> 
> (Yes he's really gone by the way. If you want to make it extra tragic, imagine him as that little boy in the council chamber that asks Anakin what they're going to do.)


	17. Chapter 17

"I'm very uncomfortable with the fact our 'inside source' is an Imperial officer," J'onn says once they've finished going through the information provided. "In my experience double agents are just as likely to be triple agents, and can turn on you in a heartbeat."

"True," Cat says, though she doesn't look as worried as J'onn. "But I have to think that a triple agent would have acted by now. For her to have infiltrated the Resistance cell here and there still be no solid information on them anywhere in the system speaks volumes to her trustworthiness. There should at least be a collection of dossiers on the known players if she's not what she seems."

The information is incredibly thorough, down to the patrol patterns of each guard shift, and if they can trust it then it's very nearly everything they'll need to know before making an infiltration attempt. Guard shifts and patterns, facility layouts, security checkpoints, and the positioning of every security device as well as what type it is, all of that is staring up at them from the screen. With this kind of knowledge they know exactly where to go and exactly how to get there without setting off a single alert in the command bays. But the question is, can they trust it?

"Winn, how much lines up with what you've gotten from the systems?" Alex asks, selecting a portion of the facility to zoom in on and inspect. "That can at least tell us whether we should be working with this at all."

Winn spins around to his main monitor when Alex asks, typing quickly as he brings up program after program to compare the two sets of information. "I haven't gone very deep into the facility's system to avoid tripping any security flags, but what I have seems to match up exactly."

"So, if it's a trap then it's a subtle one," Cat says thoughtfully. "The difference between the plans and reality would be something we could easily miss. A sensor or two left off the data, something we could trip without noticing. A silent alarm could give them plenty of time to set up an ambush without us ever knowing something was wrong."

"I don't think they'll manage to ambush us," Kara disagrees. "I may not be on top form but I can still sense focused danger ahead. If we set off an alarm I'll be able to feel it."

"Is that enough though?" Maggie asks, looking around at the team. "I mean it's a good start, but that still puts us inside an Imperial facility with the guards on high alert. Yeah three of us will be in beskar, but I don't think that'll be enough to keep us safe against an entire garrison of troops. And the other two will be vulnerable while we fight our way back to J'onn for extraction."

"Well then what's our alternative? Do we let Winn hack in so we can corroborate this intel? Or do we keep it in mind as potentially helpful but go in as if we're going in blind? I'm assuming we're not scrapping the attempt completely." Kara isn't a master of mission planning, but she knows the questions to ask to get the strategists thinking.

"If he hacks in we risk them finding out someone is considering an attack," Maggie says, tilting her head as she studies the layouts again.

"But if we already have this data and it's a trap, then they know we're coming anyway," Alex points out.

"Whichever the decision, Kara is right," Cat says. "We aren't scrapping the attack just because we don't know whether we can trust the information. Intelligence is almost always wrong or stale anyway."

Everyone nods at that, warriors and rebels alike. Even Kara knows how quickly 'solid' information can turn into anything but from her time as a Padawan. Situations are too fluid and things change too quickly for anything to be truly certain unless you're seeing it with your own eyes.

"Okay, so if we're still going in, then let's walk through this," J'onn says, zooming the image back to the entirety of the facility. "This contact can apparently get you five in through the loading bay without being noticed. From there, she can get you through the first layer of security, and possibly the second. The problem is, the loading bay is on the opposite side of the facility from the research labs. You'll have to make it past patrols and just about every security device in the facility to make your way there."

As they study the paths available, Cat tilts her head thoughtfully, and Kara wonders what she's noticed.

"The service corridors, does the information have anything about them?" she asks.

"Not much, they don't get a lot of use by anything but the service droids," Alex says as she checks the information. "There are sensors every so often though, and if you don't have the proper badge and orders logged in the system the entire corridor gets flooded with knockout gas."

"We'll need to find a way around the system already," Cat points out. "What if we make that our focus? We won't need to worry about someone spotting us that way, and if Winn can manage to alter the maintenance schedules on the droids by a few minutes then we can bypass notice entirely."

Kara can tell from the way her family looks at the schematics that they're strongly considering the plan. And it seems like a solid one, something that keeps them out of the worst danger at least until they make it to the actual research labs and can begin to work. Once they make it that far, the chances that they'll go unnoticed plummet. But they're all aware of that fact, and Kara knows that Winn is working on ways to take certain systems down quickly enough that the facility defenders will have a harder time getting to them. Worst case scenario he shuts down all the emergency bulkheads,  but that will trap them in just as much as it keeps the troopers out.

"Okay, we have a solid idea, now let's see if we can make an actual plan out of it." 

Cat sounds determined, utterly focused on the goal at hand. It's probably not the best timing, but she's glad that Cat has this as a distraction for the moment. She's dealt with enough grief for the evening. An hour or two spent focusing on the mission will do wonders for her before it's time for bed and the grief comes back with the quiet and darkness.

***

They've managed a rough outline of a mission plan when James contacts them again. Even though they hadn't been expecting much need to keep in touch Cat had still set up a series of dead drops that they could use if the situation arose, ones that J'onn checks on daily. Having a shape shifter on the team is an asset that comes in handy more often than not, and Cat pouts almost visibly every time one of the Mandalorians makes an offhand comment about how this will be their only mission with her.

Of course, Kara is beginning to think that won't be the case, but she keeps her mouth shut. She can tell that Maggie at least is beginning to side more with Cat when it comes to what the galaxy needs, but Alex is stubbornly convinced that this will be the only time and after this Kara needs to go back into hiding. Kara isn't sure whether it's a conscious decision to ignore any other possibility or whether Alex truly believes it, but she's also not willing to upset things by pointing out her own growing drive to continue helping Cat wherever she can.

J'onn will follow his daughters wherever they go, Kara knows that much for certain. And she knows that if she does continue to work with Cat, Alex will never let her do it alone. She's too overprotective for that even if she doesn't buy into the 'save the galaxy' drive Cat has. Her focus will always be on keeping her family safe. And if that means keeping them safe while they save the galaxy, then so be it.

So really it all comes down to what Kara decides after this mission, assuming they all make it through. If someone dies, then Kara knows that will probably change her mind. She can't handle people losing their lives because of her action or inaction, not again. If they lose someone on this mission, then she'll probably retreat to Mandalore and refuse to face the rest of the galaxy for the rest of her life rather than put anyone at risk again.

But that little bit of certainty that comes from the Force whispers to her that everything will be okay, that they'll make it through this together. She doesn't know whether the mission will be a success, but she's starting to trust that little thread of confidence she feels every time she stretches out to the Force. It tells her that this is the right thing to do, that if she just trusts herself and the Force then things will work out.

"So what does it say?" Cat asks as J'onn opens the packet of flimsi. "Something has to be up if they're reaching out, especially in a way that can't be traced electronically. Datachips are a lot easier to conceal than something this size."

"Their contact wants to meet before the insertion," J'onn says as he reads, brow furrowing more with each line.

Kara is suddenly very glad that Alex and Maggie are at the library. She can just imagine what Alex's reaction to this would be and it's probably for the best that her sister isn't here. An Imperial contact asking for a meetup sounds like a trap, and Alex would immediately take it as a sign that their cover is blown and the mission is a bust.

"Are there details, or are we supposed to just take this as a perfectly innocent request without anything to back it up?" Cat asks. She's obviously just as suspicious of the request as Alex would be, but she's a lot more productive about it. Instead of rushing to conclusions and assuming all is lost she's weighing the variables and potential pros and cons.

"Apparently she doesn't trust anyone outside the local Resistance cell," J'onn says, looking and sounding far calmer than anyone else in the room. "She wants to meet us to determine our trustworthiness before she puts her life on the line sneaking us in."

"That's reasonable, isn't it?" The looks of disbelief that get sent her way by Cat and J'onn nearly have Kara shrinking back, but she manages to hold her ground. "I know she could be a triple agent trying to lure us out without risking the facility, but what if she's not? What if she's exactly what she seems? She's risked a lot to get involved with the cell here, and now they're asking her to trust new people she's never met on just their recommendation. That's got to be a tough one for her."

Cat at least looks like she's thinking about it, but J'onn still looks doubtful.

"What if it is a trap?" he asks, looking back down at the flimsi in his hand. "The meeting place is not as public as the last, and they know we insert early. The Empire could already have the entire area under surveillance, and if she has your description from James then you can't walk by in armor and do a sweep of the area."

"Then I don't go in armor," Kara says calmly.

"Absolutely not," Cat says firmly. "You are the biggest asset we have on this mission, and also our weakest link. You cannot go walking around somewhere the Empire could spot you. Even if this contact is trustworthy there's too much of a chance some holocam would pick you up and blow our cover. We cannot risk that."

There's something to her protest that's deeper than just the logistics, and Kara can feel it. She knows it's probably that fear of loss springing up again, and wonders if maybe they need to have another talk about things. Maybe this time they can actually discuss their own situation rather than just the reason Cat feels the way she does.

"Cat is right," J'onn agrees, voice calmer and almost conciliatory as he looks at Kara. "Your face is on every Imperial 'Most Wanted' list out there, if you walk past even one cam programmed to run facial recognition then that's it. And we can't trust any other disguise to be effective enough to bypass that."

Kara wants to argue, but she knows it won't do any good. If Cat and J'onn both have made up their minds then there's no way she's going to convince them otherwise. And she already knows what Alex's reaction would be.

"What's the location like, other than less public?" Cat asks when Kara doesn't say anything. "Is it anywhere that Alex and Maggie could believably scout when they leave the library?"

"No, it's fairly industrial," J'onn says, pulling the address up on screen so they can see. "There's no good reason for a pair of scholars to be wandering about."

"So that leaves you going out again," Kara says, trying not to worry. "I don't like the thought of you going out without backup. Are you sure we can't have M'gann land again? There's got to be some kind of long term reason for a ship to land that won't attract attention."

"It's too much of a risk," Cat says. Kara is really starting to hate that phrase, even though she knows it's true. "M'gann is our exit plan, and we need her standing by for our escape. We'll send out a signal once we reach the main control room of the facility so she can land, but until then she needs to stay out of Imperial reach."

"Let me go scout it out, and see what kind of location it is," J'onn says as he heads for the door again. "I can look for the most likely overlook points as well and see if there's any sign of holocams or even troopers already watching. If not, then I can take up a good position and keep watch until the meeting."

"The scheduled time isn't for another two days," Cat protests.

"Then it's a good thing I'm a professional," J'onn says with a small smirk before opening the door and transforming into a whisperkit and darting off.

"If only we could bottle that ability. Think of how easy it would be to infiltrate Imperial bases." Cat sounds outright envious of J'onn's abilities, and Kara can't help but laugh for a moment at the look on her face.

"I think if you could that the Imperials would probably figure it out too," she points out when Cat looks at her with a raised brow. "It would probably end up being more trouble than it's worth."

She knows she's won when Cat just glares a little but doesn't argue, and she's smart enough to avoid pushing her luck. She'll do that enough later when she tries to bring up their situation again.

***

"And he just ran off to scout the area?" Alex asks in disbelief.

Kara can't manage to keep her sigh internal, but she does manage to stifle it enough that Alex doesn't hear. Cat does, but she looks just as exasperated as Kara feels. They've been over this once already, rehashing the decision seems like a bit much. J'onn has already commed in that he's in position, there's not much they can do to change things at this point.

"There wasn't another way to get eyes on the building without risking the mission," Cat says carefully. "This was the best way, and now we have someone in place early enough to warn us if there's any indication at all that this is a trap."

"Come on, it's got to be a trap," Alex scoffs. Even Maggie's hand on her arm isn't working to calm her this time. "The Imperial officer wants to meet up with the Resistance team planning to infiltrate a top secret Imperial research facility. What about this is anything but a trap?"

This time Kara doesn't manage to keep her reaction quiet enough to avoid notice, and suddenly Alex's glare is turned on her. "Come on, Alex. We talked about this. We're going in anyway, and this woman is our best shot at that. If she wants to meet before she's willing to sneak us in then we have to meet up with her. Buir can tell us if there's anyone coming early enough for us to get out of there."

"Alex, cyar'ika, listen to your sister," Maggie says softly, stepping a little closer to Alex to divert her attention. "This is a risk we have to take. At least this time it will be all of us, right? You'll be right there to keep Kara safe. J'onn is on lookout and there's no one you trust more, and Winn will be right here monitoring all Imperial comm stations for any sign they're on the move. It's a risk, but it's a manageable one."

"Wait, you're leaving me on my own?" Winn asks, finally tearing his attention away from his monitors with a look of terror. "What if this is a divide and conquer mission and they move on the safehouse at the same time they move on you?"

"Winn comes with us," Cat says firmly. It's enough to have the frail man going limp with relief, but Maggie looks like she's ready to argue. "He can wait in the speeder and give us a second set of eyes, but we aren't leaving him halfway across the city to fend for himself if it is a trap. Even if I don't think it is, we're going into this taking every precaution."

"Then I hope they're expecting us to be heavily armed," Alex points out. "Because I'm not going in with anything less than a full battle ready armory when the situation seems this dangerous. They can just deal with it."

"Alex, this is supposed to be a covert meetup," Kara chides. "You can't go in with more firepower than an entire battalion. We'll attract attention on the way if nothing else."

The sisters have a staring contest for long seconds over that, but finally Alex nods once. "Fine, but I'm putting as much as I can in that speeder. If something goes wrong I want it close."

"If something goes wrong, running is going to be a better option than fighting," Cat says dryly, but that seems to be the end of the argument. Maggie is keeping Alex from adding anything else, and Kara is grateful that someone is far enough removed from the situation to think rationally.

Kara knows she isn't, she can already feel the tendrils of fear snaking their way through her gut as she thinks about the possibility that she could lose everyone she loves in a single moment if they're wrong about this. She can still fight, still think, but she's not entirely certain that she's thinking as clearly as she needs to be. And Alex may be a trained fighter, but the safety of her family has always been her weak spot.

Maggie though, Maggie is an expert at pushing her own emotions to the side in order to focus on the problem at hand. She's almost certainly just as worried as everyone else, but she has a lot more practice in setting that aside. She's just the calming influence and reminder of how to get through tough situations that Alex needs right now.

A few more plans and they're separating for bed. Winn has accepted at this point that he isn't getting the second room, but he doesn't seem to mind. J'onn had brought back a cot for the study and when he's done staring at all the different monitors Winn falls into it for a few hours of rest before waking up to repeat the cycle.

It's the opportunity Kara has been waiting for, the few moments before they both fall asleep when they're guaranteed to be completely alone and uninterrupted. They've both been putting off this talk for too long now. Whatever is between them needs addressed, because as it stands it's a far greater distraction than leaving it in the background. The added worry for Kara's safety alone has a chance of ruining the mission if things get tough.

Still, it's hard to think of how to start. Eventually, Kara just blurts it out. "Are you still set on ignoring how we feel?"

There were probably any number of ways to phrase it better, but she can't take it back now. She's started the conversation and now she has to see it through.

"Kara," Cat says with a soft sigh, sitting on the edge of the bed and gesturing for Kara to join her. "I'm not set on ignoring it, we're both well aware of what's between us."

"Then are you still afraid?" Kara asks as she sits. She debates for a second, then reaches out to take one of Cat's hands in her own. The contact grounds her, and she thinks it does the same for Cat. It's a reminder that they're both still here.

Cat laughs, sounding almost bitter, but she doesn't fight the touch. If anything, she grips tighter than Kara would have thought possible for a human. "Of course I'm scared, Kara. This is the most dangerous thing I've ever done, and I've managed to drag the person I've started to care for most along with me. And not only that, but your entire family is along for the ride. What if one of them gets hurt? Will you blame me for starting all of this?"

Kara takes a long moment to get her thoughts on that in line, because she knows her answer here might be the breaking point for anything that could grow between them if she says the wrong thing. Cat deserves her complete honesty, and she deserves a response that's well-reasoned and considered.

"I might," she says eventually, hating herself for the words even though she knows it's the truth. "At least at first. But I think I'd blame myself more. What you're doing is the right thing, and I know that with a certainty that comes from the Force even if nowhere else. We need to stop this weapon. But it's my presence that brought my family along with us, not yours."

Cat doesn't look convinced, but Kara can feel her wavering in the Force. She's held herself back for so long, it's hard for her to let go and give in. And Kara understands that, because she's struggled with the same thing. It had taken entirely too long for her to consider Alex as a sister. Not only because of what attachment would mean for her, but because she was afraid to lose anyone else. But now, now she can't imagine her life without Alex and J'onn as her sister and father.

She'd lost something, when she'd let that part of her Jedi teaching fall to the side. But what she'd gained had been worth it a dozen times over. And she thinks that this situation with Cat could be the same for them both. It's a leap, it's a jump into the unknown, but it could be amazing.

"I'm scared," Cat repeats herself, and Kara nods.

"I am too. But I'm more scared that we might never have a chance to know what this feels like."

This time her words seem like they might be enough, and Cat closes her eyes as she takes a deep breath. When she opens them again, she gives Kara a short nod and doesn't say anything else.

But what's between them doesn't need words. Now that they've passed this hurdle they both know where they stand. And that's enough to have Kara leaning closer, pressing her lips gently to Cat's as they let themselves have this. They give enough of themselves to the galaxy, they can take this moment and just be happy. They can shut the rest of the world and all the problems out for a few minutes, pretend that they're all that exists. Nothing beyond the door matters, not until they decide to let it back in.

***

This time they show up to the meeting exactly on time, allowing the Resistance cell the apparent advantage. It also saves them from hanging around any longer than they need to in case there is a trap waiting to be sprung. But J'onn hasn't seen anything that appears to indicate that, and Winn hasn't noticed any strange chatter on the Imperial networks at all.

The garrisons are all still fully staffed, with no strange comings or goings from any within 500 kilometers of the meetup location or the facility. The patrols in the city are still on schedule, no lighter or heavier than any other day. Everything they can monitor seems completely normal. J'onn is certain there are only two people inside the warehouse waiting for them, and one matches the descriptions of James from the first meeting with the Resistance cell. The woman accompanying him, the assumed Imperial officer and Resistance double agent, is someone new.

Alex still doesn't trust the situation, but she's at least convinced enough that her grip on her rifle appears relaxed rather than ready to spring into action. There's a tension to her shoulders that would give her away, but it's thankfully covered by her armor well enough that only someone familiar with her would spot it.

"Relax, Alex," J'onn's voice whispers in her ear through their secure comm. "I know you're worried, but tensing up doesn't help you react faster, it will slow you down. You're only ready to take on anything if you're calm and relaxed."

The gentle reminder helps, though Alex is glad he'd sent it on a private channel rather than the one used by their entire group. That one has Cat and Winn listening in, though Cat doesn't have a mic to join the conversation. The last thing she needs is for the civilians to think she's not operating at peak readiness for this.

"We thought you were going to be late," James says when they walk in, and Alex has to consciously push down an urge to dislike him immediately. From everything she's heard about the first meeting he's a solid guy, but he's still the reason they're walking into what could very possibly be a trap. That's reason enough for her to dislike anyone.

"You seemed upset with us being early, is there any way we can win this one?" Cat says dryly. "But I think we both know it's better if we don't hang around too long. Why don't you introduce us to your friend?"

"I can introduce myself," the woman says as she steps forward, looking at each of them in turn before continuing. "I'm Lucy, and I'm taking one hell of a risk on you all."

"She's second generation military," Winn says in their ears. "Her father was a General in the Grand Army of the Republic, one of the few non-clone and non-Jedi officers. He kept his power after the Imperial transition, and his loyalty to the Emperor is the only reason Lucy has a position in the Imperial armed forces at all. She's been stuck at second lieutenant for three years now, despite being fully qualified to move higher."

"It's strange to see a woman in the Imperial military," Cat says smoothly, giving no sign that they're receiving intelligence from someone outside their group. "I imagine that's why you're willing to work as a double agent."

"I'm willing to work as a double agent because I'd rather be fighting with the Resistance than the Empire," Lucy says frankly. "If you don't already have someone looking me up then you'll know soon enough, I'm only in the Imperial forces because of my father. And if my position can do some actual good for the galaxy, then everything I've put up with since he sent me to the Academy will be worth it."

Cat is too well trained to look at Kara for confirmation of what Lucy is saying, but her sister speaks up anyway. "I don't sense any deception from her. I can't get much more than that, but she's telling us the truth."

"So, you wanted to meet us before agreeing to get us into the facility, and here we are," Cat says, waving her hand to encompass the group. "I assume you have a few questions for us?"

"I won't ask specifics on your approach plan," Lucy says, and Alex finds herself relaxing the slightest bit at that. It's not a certainty, but the fact that the Imperial isn't trying to learn anything about their plans is at least a sign that this isn't some triple cross. Either that, or she's better trained than Alex would expect. "But I do need to know how many of you will be on the infiltration team, and how well you trust them."

"A strange question to ask when you're looking at 80% of the infiltration team. It'll be the four of us, and one other. And I trust them all completely." Cat looks completely certain as she stands there. Anyone else would probably be at least a little wary of meeting an Imperial officer with a massive bounty on their head, but Cat seems completely relaxed. She's the one in control of the situation, and it shows. Even though this Imperial officer is their way inside the facility, there's no sign that Cat is anything but the one in charge

"Five is doable," Lucy says, looking at them all once more, this time letting her gaze linger on the armor and weapons they all sport. "If it's just the five of you and you're willing to trust me, I can get you through at least the first two layers of security before you're on your own. I'll just need to know a time in advance, preferably during my stand down hours so no one notices I'm not at my post."

This time Cat does look at Kara, a quick glance that's met with an equally quick nod. It's a sign that Cat has already started to trust the woman, and the nod in return shows that Kara is willing to trust her as well.

As for Alex, she's withholding her judgement for now. She doesn't trust anything Imperial, but she is willing to at least go along with Cat and Kara's judgement when they both agree about something. She just hopes they're right this time around.

"We'll need some way to contact you, and a general time frame to plan around," Cat says as she turns back to the Resistance fighters. "But we should be ready within the week."

"I assume you're in the facility's systems?" Lucy says, not really asking. They wouldn't be half as effective as they are if they didn't have a skilled slicer on the team. "I'll monitor the archived files on waste disposal. If I see the date coding on the oldest saved file change, I'll know you're incoming. What the timestamp changes to will be the time I expect you. I'll only be able to open the door and shut off the sensors on approach for two minutes before it flags as out of the ordinary, so if you're not ready to move at that exact time you might as well give up."

"We'll be ready," Cat says calmly. "You just get us inside and we'll do the rest."


	18. Chapter 18

"Okay, remember we only have two minutes to get inside," Alex says as they crouch in the shadows just outside the facility's security perimeter. "Any more than that and we'll be trapped outside when the security goes back on. So if you don't think you can keep up, speak now."

No one says a word, matching grim looks on their faces as the take in the building in front of them. This is what they're here for, the whole reason any of them are on Kuat at all. And even if it hadn't started out that way for some of them, at this point everyone wants to see their evening go off without issue. Whether they're here for the safety of the galaxy or the safety of their family, everyone is fully committed.

Normally Cat would be the one in charge, but she'd given way to Alex for the evening. This was a military operation for all that they weren't part of any military, and Alex was far better suited to lead it than Cat. The Resistance fighter had been battling with the Empire for years, but her strength was in the shadows, not in something like this. She'd been on a few smaller raids, but for the most part she worked on building cells that could grow into this kind of work, leaving before they reached that point to keep from bringing the Empire down on them even faster.

Even Maggie had pushed Alex to take the lead. The younger Mandalorian might have been fighting for longer, but Alex had more experience with this kind of thing. Sticking to bodyguard duties meant Maggie had little experience with leading a group of armed soldiers into a fortified location. But Alex's experience with tracking down bounties would give her an edge here. Usually she wasn't infiltrating an Imperial base, but rogue pirates and criminals could be just as paranoid about their safety, and just as determined to keep people out.

"Two minutes until we go," Winn calls out as he watches the time. Until they reach the control room and need his slicing abilities his job is to run comms and keep an eye on the security systems. Once they reach their target he'll send a message to J'onn to have him waiting on standby for their escape.

J'onn in turn would send a message to M'gann to bring the ship in for landing, hoping they can get in and out before the Imperials realize what's happened and lock the planet down. They'd discussed whether it would be better to have her already on planet when they went in, but ultimately there was too much uncertainty. If they weren't able to get in, they didn't want her sticking around too long and risking notice. And they didn't want her to be at risk if they got caught. Better that at least someone got away if things went sideways.

"Okay, everyone get in position and ready to go," Alex says, shifting her weight into a comfortable ready stance as she mentally rehearses the sprint across the open area. Winn swears this approach is invisible to the security cams, and Lucy's intervention inside should keep them from setting off the perimeter sensors.

She feels more than sees Maggie come up beside her to take up her own similar position. They'd decided that having the two trained warriors be first through the door would be best. After them will come Cat and Winn, with Kara bringing up the rear to make sure no one gets left behind. With her speed and strength, she can help if they start to lag. She could probably pick them both up and carry them if it came to that.

"Danvers," Maggie says quietly, the HUD in Alex's helmet telling her that it's a private channel just for them. "Deep breaths, okay? You've got this. We've all got this."

The care and concern in her voice is touching, and Alex manages a smile and quick nod as she lets Maggie's confidence wash through her. She's still worried, will still be worried until they're safely away and off planet. But she can at least breathe again.

"Yeah, Sawyer, we've got this," she says. The confidence in her voice is half feigned, but if she pretends long enough then she can do this.

"Thirty seconds until security drops," Winn says, and Alex stares at the door a hundred meters away. Once it starts to open, that's their cue to move.

She's running before her brain catches up, rifle held in front of her as she constantly sweeps their surroundings for anything that looks like a target. For this first approach Cat had grudgingly lent her Verpine to Alex, knowing that if someone needed to go down they couldn't risk the noise and flash of a blaster shot that might attract notice. A Verp is silent, but packs enough power that a single shot should do the trick.

But they make it to the door without anyone noticing, and Winn gestures that they still have a minute before they need to be on the other side of the metal. That gives them just enough time to do a sweep in case they're running into a trap, and Alex intends to take every second they can spare.

Maggie already has a probe out and around the corner as they stack to either side of the door, Cat between Alex and Kara as Winn presses himself close to Maggie. One careful sweep of the immediate area as the probe sends the visual to the Mandalorians' helmets, and Alex ducks inside with her rifle raised, covering the right half of the room as Maggie does the same to the left.

Ten seconds left, and Alex softly calls for the others to follow, the door closing just as Kara makes it inside. They all stand ready for a moment as they wait to see if there's any sign they've been spotted. Winn has his datapad out and is typing furiously, but there's no sign of alarm on his features. And Kara seems unconcerned, her own rifle held loosely in a ready position as she looks around the room.

"I think we're clear," Kara says, her rifle dropping a little as she relaxes. Cat and Winn do the same, but Alex and Maggie stay alert, rifles raised as they kneel in a ready position.

"Any sign of our contact?" Alex says, careful to avoid names or identifying features in case the base picks up on and hacks into their comms. They're using short range bursts that won't work if they move more than ten meters from each other, but there's still a chance that something will trip the sensors and they last thing they need is to give Lucy away with a careless word.

"Sensors show a warm body in the next room," Maggie says, one hand coming off her rifle to gesture towards the door to their left. "No sign of anyone else."

"Okay, then let's go," Alex says as she rises, waiting until they reorganize their marching order.

Cat and Winn are still in the protected middle, but Kara and Maggie switch positions. They need a trained fighter in the lead and bringing up the rear, and Kara's Force senses will be of more use in the lead than they will from back. And she has enough training to hold her own if the need arises.

"Glad to see you're punctual," Lucy says when they duck into the next room. She doesn't seem bothered by the rifle that trains on her for a second as Alex sweeps the room. She just stands there, hands held slightly away from her body and the standard issue blaster holstered at the hip of her uniform until Alex relaxes. "The entrance you'll need is down this corridor. Follow me."

Kara starts after her without hesitation, clearly trusting the young Imperial. Alex isn't exactly comfortable with the situation, but she doesn't say a word as she follows as well. They've trusted Lucy this far, they won't gain anything by changing that now.

"This close enough to where we need to go?" Alex asks Winn on their shared comm. Trusting Lucy or not, she's not willing to give any indication as to what the next stage of their plans actually is. The less the Lieutenant knows the better for them all.

Not having a helmet himself Winn just nods slightly as he looks down at the schematics on his datapad. He's paler than usual, but Alex can't blame him for being a little nervous. This is probably the most dangerous situation he's ever been in.

At least mild reassured that their plan is still on track, Alex follows Lucy with a little more confidence. She's still not happy to be here, not happy to see Kara inside of an actual Imperial facility, but the sooner they get this over with the better for them all.

"This is as far as I can take you without someone noticing," Lucy says, stopping next to a relatively inconspicuous bulkhead. "Any further and my access will be noted, and someone might start to wonder why I'm walking around restricted areas during stand down hours. I also don't know if I'll be able to help you extract. I'm more use to the Resistance from inside where I can get information, and I can't risk that unless there's no other way to get you out."

"We'll manage fine on our own from here," Cat says, speaking up for the first time. Alex had wondered how long the woman would manage to stay quiet and let her lead.. "This is more than we would have managed without you as it is."

Lucy just nods at that before turning and walking back down the corridor. If she has any sense she's on her way to be seen somewhere as far from their target as possible, but that isn't Alex's problem. Right now, her problem is getting them safely to the control room.

"Which way to that access corridor?" she asks when Lucy is out of sight. She feels exposed just standing here even if Winn is supposed to be in the security system using Lucy's access to keep them invisible, but she likes thought of Lucy seeing their next move even less. Even if the Lieutenant wouldn't betray them willingly, which isn't something Alex is going to stake their lives on just yet, the more she knows the more she can give away if she gets caught.

"It's just through this bulkhead and to the right," Winn says, his voice wavering the slightest bit as he reaches out to plug his datapad into the control panel. "I can get us through this door and into that corridor, but it might take me a minute or two, depending on how tough that second lock is."

"We'd be too exposed for that long," Maggie says, sounding worried. "You sure you can't get us in any faster than that?"

"Not without setting off alarms all over the place," Winn confirms. His nerves are more noticeable now that Maggie has expressed doubt, but Alex knows they can count on him. He might need a week to recover after tonight, but he'll get them through.

"I can give plenty of warning if a patrol is coming," Kara says, looking between Alex and Cat. "Right now there's no one nearby and no one heading this way. If we're going to do this, we need to do it  _ now _ ."

"Do it," Cat says to Winn after staring at Alex for a moment as if waiting for a disagreement. And it's Alex's insertion to lead, but this is Cat's mission above all. If she wants to move forward, then it's Alex's job to make that happen. "There isn't time for another plan, we'll just have to hope we've timed this right."

Hope has never been one of Alex's default tools, but tonight she's willing to give it a shot. Mandalorians had given up on their gods long ago, so it's not like she can pray to some higher power for help. The few deities she remembered from Ruusan are all strictly agricultural, utterly useless in this endeavor even if Alex still believed in them.

Once they're through the door Alex and Maggie take up covering positions a little ways down the corridor in either direction while Kara stands guard over their slicer and Cat. The delay has Alex ready to jump out of her skin with impatience, but she manages to keep her focus with a little bit of guided breathing. Through her private channel with Maggie she can tell her girlfriend is matching her breaths, and that helps too.

"Okay, I'm in," Winn says, just as Kara's head snaps up to look past Alex.

"Patrol heading this way, we need to move," she calls, waving for Alex and Maggie to hurry as she ushers Winn and Cat through the door.

Normally Alex would chastise her for not even checking that the access corridor is empty, but if there's a patrol heading their way then everything else will have to wait. Kara had hopefully at least used her Force senses to make sure there was no one on the other side of the door, and Winn's programming should have the service droids somewhere else right about now.

"Everyone away from this wall and silent," Alex orders, knowing that they can't move on without risking a noise that might attract attention from the soldiers on the other side of the door. She drops to a kneeling position next to where Maggie has done the same, and Kara takes up position next to her as the other two crouch down behind their protective front. Alex wonders if they should have sourced some basic armor for the other two, but there's no time to worry about that now.

They stay crouched for longer than Alex would like, waiting on Kara to give the all clear. Even though this is probably the safest they'll be while still inside the facility, Alex isn't comfortable just sitting around. She wants to be up and moving towards their goal.

"They're gone," Kara whispers just before Alex reached the end of her patience, standing and offering a hand to help Cat up. "Come on, let's get this done."

They've only made it about halfway across the building towards the research labs when Winn and Kara both freeze. It nearly sends Alex into a panic thinking they've been caught but she manages to keep her cool as she remember panic helps no one. Fear can be useful, can help you fight harder and see more details around you if you know how to use it. But panic will weaken you and leave you blind.

"Everyone just went on alert," Kara says, her head tilted as she looks around. "I can't tell why, but they don't seem focused on us. But they are focused on something."

"It looks like the facility commander dropped in for a surprise inspection," Winn says, typing furiously into his datapad. "No sign that they've spotted us, but there's no way we're making it to the research labs right now. Everyone is heading that way to be on station while he checks on their progress."

Alex wants to scream in frustration, but she knows this isn't the time. They need to get out of here before someone notices Winn's intrusion into the system and locks the building down. "Okay, then we need to go anywhere but that way," she says, trying to sound calm and in control. "Send the extraction signal so Buir is waiting for us when we make it out."

"You have a plan for how we're going to accomplish that?" Cat says. It's not as pointed as the words could make it sound, and Alex knows she'd only asked out of worry for their safety so she lets unintended insult slide.

"Yeah, we're going to hope I'm right."

***

It's not the most pleasant exit Kara could imagine, but at this point she's willing to take safely out of the facility over a little discomfort. Even if that discomfort is making their way through a garbage chute.

Her helmet does nothing to keep out the smell, and Kara has to fight to keep from gagging at the stench. At least she doesn't have to feel it other than through her gloves, she'd be willing to bet Cat and Winn both will be spending hours in the 'freshers tonight trying to rid themselves of the stink clinging to their skin. At least armor you can rinse off and call it good.

"This reminds me of that time on Gyndine," Cat says with what Kara can tell is forced lightness. "You remember that?" she asks Winn, who looks ready to faint.

"I thought we weren't bringing that up ever again," he says, visibly swallowing with the effort to keep from throwing up. "This is why I like slicing, there aren't garbage chutes to crawl through when you're hacking into someone's system."

"But then you don't get to see all the wonders of the galaxy," Maggie says as she brings up the rear. She sounds entirely too cheerful for their current situation, and even Kara is wondering where she gets it. "No, this reminds me of my training days, when I was young and naive and thought the galaxy was just full of amazing places to visit."

"It reminds me of mucking out stalls," Alex says with a groan. "Which is not something I enjoyed then, and this is not something I enjoy now."

Despite their surroundings Kara has to fight down a laugh at Alex's tone. It's something to focus on here, something to distract from the presence she'd felt back in the facility. The one she isn't telling anyone about until she manages to work through how she feels about it.

"I just hope Buir actually lets us in the speeder," Kara says as she pushes those worries back down. "We would definitely not be inconspicuous walking around the city like this."

"First stop we're making is a speeder cleaning station. We can spray your armor down, and I have changes of clothing in the speeder for the two of us," Cat decides, moving a little faster as the exit to the chute comes into view in the distance. 

"At least we have access to two showers," Maggie points out, earning a chorus of agreement from the others. "Armor or no, as soon as you two finish I think I'm claiming one of them for a while."

Kara can feel the way Alex focuses on that even with her Force senses pulled in as tightly as they are, as well as the lingering hesitation and guilt for the thoughts she's likely having. And while she's a little embarrassed to be feeling that kind of reaction from her sister, she's also vaguely amused at how much Alex is capable of overthinking things. At this rate there won't be a marriage until Mandalore's star goes nova.

"Yeah, well I call the other," she says, lightly bumping her shoulder into Alex's in a manner she hopes her sister recognizes as teasing. "Alex will just have to wait."

From the silence that comes from Alex's channel, Kara thinks her sister might have cut her volume controls completely to keep from giving anything away or moving the teasing into uncomfortable territory. With the struggles she's still dealing with, this is the edge of what teasing she'll likely find amusing.

"What happened?" J'onn asks as they drop to the ground outside the facility and dash the short distance to the waiting speeder. "The front entrance is swarming with stormtroopers, and you didn't send the signal to call M'gann in. Were you spotted?"

"No, apparently the facility commander decided to make an appearance," Cat says dryly as she pushes as much of the muck clinging to her legs off as possible. "The whole building is on alert, so we decided to exfiltrate and make another attempt some other time."

"It seems strange that he would show up the same night as your attempt." J'onn is clearly as suspicious as Alex and Cat combined, and Kara wonders who exactly is going to bear the brunt of that suspicion. "How certain are you that your contact didn't tip him off?"

"From what I can read in their files, I don't think that's likely," Winn pipes up.

"Brief us on the way, we need to put as much distance between ourselves and this building as possible," Alex says, climbing into the passenger seat of the speeder with her rifle resting across her lap ready to be swung up into firing position.

The rest of them don't need much convincing, though Kara hopes that J'onn can balance the necessary caution with how much they really need to get cleaned off. If he drives around for an hour before stopping somewhere she might just pass out from the smell of them in such a confined space. And she's sure that Winn probably will, as pale as he looks right now. There's almost no blue tinge left to his skin, and his eyes are closed as tightly as his mouth.

"Winn, I think I can help," Kara says when it's obvious his distress isn't going to ease. They're far enough from the facility that she can risk this. "If you'll give me permission, I think I can ease your nausea."

The nod in response is almost desperate, and Kara feels sorry for the man. He's a talented slicer and clearly dedicated to the Rebellion's cause, but this sort of activity is definitely outside of his comfort zone.

She'd never been much of a healer, but she manages to push away his discomfort enough that his breathing eases and a little bit of color returns to his cheeks. It's not perfect, but if they can get cleaned up and back to their secure safe house he should be okay.

"Okay, so tell us why you don't think Lucy is behind the surprise visit," Cat says when Winn actually manages to open his eyes. "She's the most likely suspect."

"Except for the commander is the one keeping her at Second Lieutenant rank," Winn says, pulling out his datapad to check the relevant files.

"That just makes it more likely that she'd betray us to finally move up and maybe out of his direct command," Alex points out. "Unless there's more, I'm not comfortable trusting her again."

"Oh, there's more," Winn assures them. "The files are a bit sparse on details, but I don't think that betraying us to Colonel Lord would win her any points or favors. They went to the Academy together, back when Lucy was a standout candidate for as much advancement as possible for a woman in the Imperial military. She should have had no problem making Major at very least, though she'd probably never rise higher than that. But Lord was the cadet in charge of her training group, and when she found evidence that another student was altering grades and went to him to report it, he took the information to his superiors and left her name out completely. They rewarded him with another promotion and his pick of assignments after graduation, and he chose Lucy to be one of his officers."

"Probably to keep her from spreading the truth about what really happened," Maggie said in disgust. "Even for an Imp that's low."

"It gets worse," Winn says as he keeps reading. "Lord is apparently a big supporter of her father, General Lane. He reports directly to the man. And when Lucy went to her father to get his support, he sided with Lord over her. Basically trapped her under Lord's command without any chance of getting out."

The speeder is silent as they consider that, and Kara can feel the suspicions easing. Given that kind of history, no one can blame Lucy for wanting to side with the Rebellion. And it puts her willingness to stay behind in Imperial service into a whole new light.

Of course, it could all be a trick, false information put into the system to lead them astray and into trusting Lucy as she leads them into a trap. But from what Kara has sensed of the woman she doesn't think it's fake. She can't get a full read on Lucy, not when she holds her emotions so close, but what she can read she trusts. Lucy wants to help them, that much she's certain of.

They're quiet the rest of the way home, including during the quick stop to wash the worst of the mess off their armor and clothes. Even with the unsuccessful end to their mission they still have to deal with the exhaustion when the adrenaline wears off, and by the time they make it back to the safe house Kara feels ready to drop. If she manages to stay awake long enough to get clean she'll be surprised.

"You all get changed and get some rest," J'onn commands when they make it inside, Kara barely having the strength to reach out for a quick scan of the surrounding homes to make sure no one had taken notice of their late arrival and unusual appearance. "I'll stand watch for the night."

Normally Alex at least would have argued but Kara knows the stress of the insertion mixed with the frustration of knowing they have to do it all again has gotten to her. She needs an evening to curl up with Maggie and let herself relax a little, and Kara hopes she'll take it.

She knows a quiet evening is all she wants for herself, and follows Cat into their bedroom without complaint. Barely resisting the urge to fall into the bed still in her armor, Kara carefully stacks the plates next to the door where she can grab them quickly if needed. If no one attacks before dawn, she'll worry about cleaning them tomorrow.

"Your turn," Cat says some time later, stepping out of the small 'fresher attached to the room with a robe wrapped around her. "Try not to take too long, okay?"

Any other time Kara would probably have felt as embarrassed as Alex had felt earlier at the sight of Cat so relatively exposed and vulnerable. But tonight she's just too tired to feel much reaction at all. She knows Cat isn't trying to be coy or seductive, she'd probably just been in such a hurry to get clean that she'd forgotten to grab new clothing on her way to shower. This wouldn't be the night either of them would move their still shaky relationship forward that way.

Her own shower isn't as long as Kara would like, but she doesn't want to take too long and risk Cat falling asleep before she finishes. They're both exhausted enough to need their rest and Cat is a light enough sleeper that Kara crawling into bed will almost certainly wake her. So instead she takes barely long enough to recite the names of her lost before getting out and pulling on her night clothes.

She finishes up to find Cat sitting up in bed, leaning against the headboard with her head tipped back and eyes closed. She looks somehow smaller this way, as if the force of her personality has been pulled in until there's no trace of it to remind you just how much Cat is capable of. As if all that's left is the petite frame and delicate features, no sign of the true strength of this woman.

Then she opens her eyes, and Kara is reminded exactly who Cat is. She's still tired, still seems only a few minutes away from passing out into a deep sleep, but there's a kind of alertness there as well. As if Cat is refusing to listen to the needs of her body a second before she has to.

Kara crawls in beside her with a quick kiss that's started to feel natural before starting to slide down into the blankets so she can sleep. But Cat stops her with a careful hand on her shoulder, and Kara sits back up with a soft groan. She wants nothing more than to get some rest, but if Cat wants to talk then that's what they're going to do.

"So, are you going to tell me what you felt?" Cat asks when Kara settles in and looks alert enough to have a coherent conversation.

"When?" Kara asks, though she knows it's pointless. She'd thought she'd hidden it well enough from the others. She knows that Alex and Maggie at least had missed her reaction completely.

"At the facility. When you felt the focus shift. There was a moment that you stood frozen, and then your hand moved to where you hid your saber hilt. But you weren't ready to fight."

Kara isn't surprised that Cat had noticed her reaction. But she wishes she'd been able to hide it better. She still hasn't been able to work out how she feels about what she'd felt, about what it means. And yet here is Cat, pushing her to face it anyway.

"I felt someone in the Force," Kara says, looking down at her hands. "Someone I thought was dead."

"You felt another Jedi?" Cat asks, sitting up straight in surprise.

"No, not another Jedi," Kara says, trying not to feel bitter as she thinks back to the presence she'd felt. "At least, not anymore. She felt dark. Like she'd joined the Empire rather than hid from it." The Force presence had felt cold to Kara's senses, dangerous and razor sharp like the broken edges of ice that coated the cliffs a few kilometers north of J'onn's steading. But there had been something else to the presence, some buried pain that pulled at Kara despite the darkness.

Cat nods slowly at that, seeming to realize that Kara is struggling with this more than she'd assumed. "So, a fallen Jedi then. I'd heard rumors that the Empire had captured a few and turned them, but there wasn't ever proof. Did she sense you?"

"Well, now there is," Kara says, the bitterness she hadn’t been able to fully repress fading into a sense of loss that's all too familiar after all these years. "But I don't think so. I knew her well enough that I would have sensed if she had. Astra was only a few years older than I was, and we trained together when I was a youngling. She watched my section of the dormitory, and since we both remembered Krypton she'd tell me stories on the nights I couldn't sleep. The same stories my mother told me, and her mother told her. Stories of Rao, and the blessings he gave us. She used to say he favored us greatly by giving us such ability to feel the Force."

Cat pulls Kara closer as memories overwhelm her and she fades into silence, holding on as a few tears slip down her face. She's too tired to sob, but she wants to. Instead Kara just clings to the comfort of warm arms holding her until she's too tired to do more than let Cat guide her down into bed and under the blankets.

Tomorrow is soon enough to sort out the rest of it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about the delay on this, I hit a wall with writing in general and until I got back into the swing of things with a few shorter pieces I couldn't make myself focus enough to get this written. I'd manage a few hundred words here and there, but not enough to actually call a chapter. But I seem to be over that for now, and hopefully will get back to the weekly updates moving forward.

"We're going to need a distraction," Alex says first thing the next morning when she leaves her room to find the rest of the group minus Winn sitting at the table eating breakfast, head still working through what they'll need to make this mission a success. She'd woken up every few hours with a new idea or obstacle, her brain going over the problem even while she slept. "We can't be sure Lord won't show up again, so we'll need something to keep his attention away from us. Hopefully we can even keep him out of the facility until we're done."

"We don't have the firepower for that," J'onn points out, not bothered by the way Alex had jumped into the middle of a conversation no one had been having. "We barely have enough for the actual insertion, especially if there's a chance we'll have to fight our way in or out."

Alex nods a little as she considers that. J'onn is right, they don't have enough manpower to take on both the facility and a diversion at the same time. The smaller the force the easier the infiltration, yes, but what's the point in getting in if you can't actually do anything once you get there?

And as much as Alex hates it, she knows they all play a part in this. They need Winn for the hacking, Cat to help him out, Kara to keep watch, and Maggie and herself to stand guard. Leaving any one of them behind halves their chances of success, and leaving more than one puts it firmly out of reach.

"Maybe this is where we use the Resistance cell. They've been quiet, I'm sure the Empire underestimates them. A sudden attack on a serious target would be a shock." Maggie sounds hesitant, but it's the best idea they're going to get.

Putting their trust in a force they haven't drilled with or even spoken to goes against every bit of training and instinct for the Mandalorians, but there's no way around it. If their plan is going to succeed, they need help. And the only help they're likely to get is from the Resistance fighters.

"Cat, do you think you can set up another meeting? We don't need Lane in on this, but we do need to speak with James and his team. I'm sure they'll need help planning an attack, given the cell is a little short on trained fighters." Alex doesn't know what they'll do if James refuses to help, but they'll figure something out.

Maybe they can hire a few Mandos to come blow a few things up. If that wouldn't cause an additional delay they can't afford, she might have offered that option up as a suggestion anyway. At least they could trust the Mandalorians they brought in, and would know they have the training needed to pull off such a strike. They don't know that about this Resistance cell at all.

"I can set up a meeting, but are we sure we can trust them?" Cat says, still as wary as she's ever been. "I trust James well enough, at least that he won't willingly betray my identity or presence to the Empire, but I can't say the same for the people he commands. I just don't know them well enough to put that kind of trust in place."

"It's a risk, but I think it's our only choice," Kara says softly.

Alex studies her carefully for a moment, but can't see anything obvious to make her worry. Still, there's something about the way Kara is holding herself that seems off. And from the way Cat is watching her, there either is something wrong that Kara's already confided in the other woman, or Cat sees the same things Alex does. Either way, Alex resolves to be there for her sister today. J’onn can go to the library in her place for one day.

"We don't need to tell them what's going on," Alex points out. "James, yes. As their leader he has a right to know what we're planning to use his troops for. But the rest of them only need to know the risks, not that we're using them as a diversion. They should know what they're getting into, but they don't need to know about our half of it. If we can find a solid target for them there shouldn't be any reason for James to mention our existence at all."

"Is that fair to them, though?" Cat asks. "If we ask them to risk their lives, don't they deserve to know exactly what it is they could be dying for? That's the bit that concerns me most. I don't particularly want to tell them our plans, but it feels wrong to ask them to fight without doing so."

"They know they're fighting for the Resistance, against the Empire," J'onn points out. "And at the broadest level, that's all our plans entail. They won't be in any less danger if we tell them, and might be in more danger. The more they know, the more they can reveal. And if one of them slips, or if one of them is a sleeper agent working from the inside, then telling them anything beyond the fact that they have a target could get them all killed before they even pick up a weapon."

It's not the best answer, but it's one that every commander or tactician has faced over the course of their career. When is it right to withhold information, and when does the need for honesty outweigh the risk? In a situation like this there are no clear answers, no moral choices. They're asking people they've never met to risk their lives for a mission they'll know nothing about. It isn't nice, it isn't good, it's a dirty side of war that makes Alex feel vaguely sick. She's killed before, she'll probably kill again, but this feels  _ different _ .

"We'll do what we can to pick a battle that won't be beyond their capability," Alex says, the only compromise she can offer. Expedience is an old friend, but this mission has already changed her. Seeing someone like Cat work towards a goal that has no real effect on her current well-being, risking her life for strangers she's never met and likely will never see again, it reminds Alex of how willing her parents had been to shelter Kara. And how they hadn't hesitated to do whatever it took to buy the two of them the time they needed to escape.

In the face of a sacrifice like that, or the one Cat is prepared to make, expediency over morality seems like the cowards way out. And there is no greater insult to a Mandalorian than being called a coward. She just hopes this plan of theirs manages to strike that elusive balance.

"Winn and I can take a look through the Imperial records, see if we can find a suitable target," J'onn says when no one seems ready to argue that choice any further.

"Actually, I was hoping you could take my place at the library with Maggie today," Alex says quickly, shooting her girlfriend an apologetic look. "I have a few things I want to check on around here."

Their trips to the library, while nerve wracking and always carrying the potential to be spotted, are the closest thing they get to true privacy these days. But Maggie is already nodding and shooting a quick glance Kara's way, so Alex knows she understands why the switch for today. It's yet another reason for Alex to be grateful things had finally started to work out between them, she isn't sure what she would do without Maggie at her side this way. Even as close as they'd been before, things between them are so much better now that Alex has quit trying to shove her feelings away. Now she can trust Maggie not just as the warrior at her side, but as her partner in every way.

"It's probably a good idea to send J'onn to the library anyway," Cat says, her own gaze flicking back and forth between the three younger women. It's obvious she sees the subtle byplay as clearly as if they'd included her. "You can help Winn find that target, the sooner we have that the sooner we can contact James and get moving."

"Maybe we can switch off between the three of us," Maggie offers. "J'onn and I can go today, tomorrow maybe J'onn and Alex, then Alex and I again the day after. That gives us all a stand down day to look over plans, and keeps every set of eyes on as much as we can. The more minds planning this thing, the more likely we are to spot the mistakes before they turn into fatal mistakes."

No one has any argument, and the rest of the meal proceeds with a few ideas tossed back and forth. Alex keeps a careful eye on her sister the whole time, but other than a lingering quietness and a tendency to stay close to Cat, she can't spot anything wrong. Kara could just be quiet after the stress of a mission. She hasn't been training for years, she's been hiding and protecting herself. This kind of thing has to be a strain for her even if she'd once been used to it. Battle readiness took mental muscles just as surely as physical, and even if working the forge kept Kara in shape, it couldn't help keep her ready to fight.

_ She'll be ready _ , Alex tries to convince herself.  _ She's done this before, and she has all of us to help her. If Winn can do this, she'll be fine. _

Once the meal finishes and Maggie heads to their room to change into her scholar's robe, Alex follows her. It won't be much in the way of privacy, but it'll at least give them a chance to talk before Maggie heads off with J'onn.

Alex leans back against the door as it shuts behind them, staying out of the way as Maggie begins to dress. At the beginning of the trip she'd have looked away and blushed, but after weeks of sharing quarters she's managed to get over that shyness. It had never bothered her while they were just training partners, but for some reason once they were together she'd been nervous about seeing Maggie anything but fully clothed. It had been frustrating, and Alex is grateful it hadn't taken long to move past, and that Maggie had been so understanding while she struggled.

"You aren't mad that I threw this change at you, right?" she asks when Maggie has the robe settled mostly into place.

"Alex, I saw the same signs you did this morning, of course I'm not mad. I knew before you even made it out to join the rest of us that you'd probably come up with some reason to stay behind today. Kara's been quiet all morning, and you're her sister. Of course you want to make sure she's okay." There's no hint of accusation in Maggie's tone, and that more than the words she speaks lets Alex relax. She'd been afraid that even if Maggie understood, she'd still be upset somehow.

She should have known better, she'd never seen Maggie get angry at someone who didn't truly deserve it. Frustrated, yes, but never angry. And she'd never kept that frustration a secret. If Maggie was upset with someone, they knew about it.

"I'm still worried about her being on this mission," Alex admits. She knows that much is obvious to everyone, but this is the first time she's admitted to it since learning Kara intended to stay. "She's not used to this anymore, what if it's too much?"

"You have to trust that she knows what she's doing," Maggie points out, slipping a small knife into her boot. Her utility belt is already in place, and even with the yard of loose fabric Maggie looks just as ready to fight as she does in full armor.

It's a reassuring sight, and Alex relaxes slightly at the reminder that they have multiple trained fighters on this trip. There are no better fighters in the galaxy than Mandalorians with a personal stake in the battle, and Kara has turned into that emotional stake. Even if they don't care about the Empire or the Rebellion, they all three care about Kara. And Kara cares about this, so by extension so do they.

"Look, just tell her that you're worried, yeah? She knows, but you know Kara. She's not going to make you talk about things you don't want to talk about. Not when it's something serious like this. So let her talk to Cat this morning while you plot with Winn, and then the two of you can have a nice long talk this afternoon about what's bothering you both."

Alex has to nod at that, grateful that Maggie put it into clear words that would make sense no matter how Alex tried to overthink it. It'd been obvious this morning that Cat knows at least as much as Alex does, and probably more. There hadn't been a chance for them all to talk the night before, but who knows what the other couple discussed while they were alone and waiting for sleep to come?

"Thank you," Alex says as she pushes off the door and crosses the room to Maggie's side. "You always know what to say."

"It's easy when it's not my own problem," Maggie teases, reaching out to pull Alex into a loose embrace. "You'd be able to figure all of this out yourself, if you weren't busy worrying about it. You're too close to the situation for detachment, Alex. And that's okay, this isn't a situation where you need to be detached. You just need to be there for her, and trust that she'll be there for you."

Alex doesn't have the words to respond to that one, so she shows her thanks in the only way she can, leaning forward to press soft kisses to Maggie's lips until J'onn calls from the other room and it's time for them to remember their responsibilities.

***

As soon as Alex and Maggie head for their room Kara takes the opportunity to head for her own, knowing that Cat won't be far behind. The breakfast dishes can wait, assuming J'onn doesn't take care of them while Maggie is changing, but Cat will want this conversation out of the way quickly. Kara hadn't missed the looks between the other three women at the table even if she'd been too withdrawn to react.

She knows full well that she can expect several conversations today. J'onn will probably find her later too, once he's returned from the trip to the library. But even before that, Cat will want to talk, and there's no way Alex is going to let things be. Not with as quiet and withdrawn as Kara is today.

Sure enough Cat is only a few minutes behind her, closing the door and settling in at the small desk in the room rather than sitting next to where Kara has curled up on the bed. "You have to tell them what you felt," Cat says when Kara remains silent.

She doesn't sound accusing, more understanding, but there's still a layer of durasteel beneath her words. Right now she isn't the same version of Cat that held Kara while she cried for what had been lost. Right now she's the Rebellion leader, the most wanted civilian woman in the galaxy.

"I know," Kara says quietly from where she's purposefully turned towards the wall to avoid Cat's gaze. "I know I do, there's no way we can go in with no one else knowing. They deserve to know the risks."

"It's better that it comes from you than me. You're the one that felt her, you're the one who knows what she's likely to be capable of. And you're the one who will be most at risk of notice." Cat's logic is inescapable, and Kara doesn't even try. She just closes her eyes and searches for the serenity that lingers just out of reach, the peace and calm that she'd been taught were so important.

But no matter how she tries, they stay out of reach. To find Astra alive after all these years, Kara doesn't know how to be calm in the face of such a revelation. And finding that Astra is alive because she'd agreed to serve the same Empire that slaughtered their brethren? It's a betrayal, no matter that Kara knows what Astra must have gone through before ever agreeing to such a thing.

"Alex won't let me come if I tell her what I felt," Kara says, as sure of that as she is anything else. "She'd rather hit me with a stun blast and tie me up than let me walk into a building with someone that could sense what I am."

"Alex isn't in charge of assignments on this trip, I am. And she can deal with that, or she can stun me as well. And if she does that, Winn will refuse to work with her. Without him, this mission is a bust from the beginning. None of the others has the ability to be sure there aren't other copies of the data hiding in the mainframe somewhere. They could blow the entire facility into orbit and still not stop the weapon. So no, Kara. She might not like having you along, but I'm the one that will decide whether it's a risk you have to take, or one we can't afford."

Kara hadn't been expecting that, and turns to look at Cat in astonishment. She knows good and well that the only reason Cat is even considering this is because of their relationship, and that throws her. She would have expected Cat to put the mission above everything, refuse to take any risk that could jeopardize their success. And she mostly is, Kara knows that if she can't manage to be very convincing in the next few minutes that she'll be left behind with no questions asked. But because of what's growing between them, Cat is at least willing to hear her out, and that means more than Kara can put into words. It's a level of trust that should go beyond the still fragile relationship between them, and yet seems perfectly natural once she's over her shock.

"If I go along, there will be more risk," Kara admits, knowing that she has to be completely honest if there's any chance of convincing Cat. "But I can't say how much. She could sense me in the Force, particularly if I have to actively use it rather than just using it to sense presences and danger. But she could also notice you even if I'm not there."

Cat's eyes narrow as she thinks, weighing each option. "Do you have any way of guessing whether she'll notice us without you?"

"Depends on whether she's looking," Kara says, explaining when Cat looks confused. "If she's not looking, and no one focuses on her directly, then there won't be anything in the Force that would tip her off. But if she's used to keeping an eye on her surroundings then she might pick you out of the crowd. Most Imperial minds are very structured, bound by rules and regulations with no room for free thinking once they make it out of training. And none of you will feel like the scientists except maybe Winn. If she's keeping an eye on the minds in the base, you'll stand out. I'm sure there are others that stand out as well, like our contact, but she'll be familiar with those. You'll be new, and focused, and not where anyone is supposed to be."

"Would she notice you if she's not looking?" Cat asks after a moment of thought. "If you don't actually use the Force for anything, would she notice your presence?"

Kara has to think about that, because once she would have said yes. Years ago they were as close as two Jedi could be, bound by a common ground that went beyond the Force. But now? There was no way to tell. Astra hadn't noticed her last night, Kara was certain of that. So that argued for their bond having weakened, perhaps even been broken by whatever Astra had been through over the years.

"If she gets close, then yes. But she didn't notice me last time, so as long as I don't do anything to tip her off, or get close enough that she senses me with her normal awareness, I don't think I'll stand out any more than you do."

Cat nods distractedly, before taking a deep breath to tell Kara what she's decided. "Then here's what we do. We have Winn look into her, see if he can get any kind of read on her usual habits. Is she usually with Lord, does she have freedom and authority to go off on her own, is she usually confined to the barracks, things like that. Once we have those answers, and a target for the Resistance distraction, we set up a meeting with James. That's when you tell Alex, and everyone else."

Kara nods, it makes sense. Even if she hates lying to Alex, even by omission, this is the best way to make Alex think like a mercenary and not like her protective big sister. In private she'd likely rail for hours, but if they can confront her in public, in a situation where they have to remain quiet and come to quick decisions, her training will kick in. She'll be able to weigh the situation dispassionately rather than get caught up on the fact that it's Kara taking the risk.

Or at least that's the hope. Kara knows it's far more likely that Alex will shut down and let the others decide once she's voiced her protest. And if they don't agree with her, then Kara will hear about it once they're back at the safehouse. And even if Alex does manage to decide calmly, that calm won't last and Kara will still hear about it.

But if that's the price she pays for the chance to be included on the mission, then she'll pay it. She'll pay it a dozen times. Because somewhere deep in her gut, so deep she's almost certain it's a message from the Force, she knows that she has to be included if there's any chance of success. If she's left behind, even if she waits in the getaway speeder with J'onn, none of her friends or family will return from the facility. The earlier certainty that everything will be fine is still there when she imagines herself with them, but if she imagines the rest of the group going alone it disappears to be replaced by the cold dread and memory of the last times she'd lost everyone she loved.

She knows better than to expect that argument will sway anyone but Cat. Alex loves and trusts her, but Mandalorians put a lot more trust in what they can see than what they can't. A gut feeling that may or may not be from the Force isn't enough to overcome training and caution, especially not when said training and caution is based on a level of protectiveness that goes beyond mere worry. Cat's logic and calm weighing of risk vs reward will be far more effective at convincing everyone that Kara needs to come along.

And even if it doesn't convince them, Cat has a point about not being able to do the job without everyone helping. If Cat has decided that she needs to come along, then they can't leave her behind without leaving half their forces behind and ensuring they have no chance of success. And given that the others are more concerned with getting everyone through this alive than actually stopping the Empire themselves, that means without Kara there is no mission.

"Then you talk to Winn when Alex corners me this afternoon," Kara says with a wry grin that Cat matches. They both know Alex will do just that. She's been remarkably patient with them given her initial disapproval, but this is going to stretch that patience beyond its limits. "I'll figure out something to tell her that doesn't involve Astra."

"Tell her the truth," Cat urges. "Tell her that going on a mission again after all these years, it brought back memories of what you'd lost. It's true enough, as far as it goes. And when the time comes to tell the rest of the group what you felt, you can elaborate then without Alex thinking you lied to her."

It's a brilliant solution, even if Kara still feels uncomfortable with it, just a little bit. Even though it very specifically isn't a lie, it's more than Kara will enjoy. After the subterfuge that surrounded the trip to Kuat, Kara doesn't like the thought of hiding anything from Alex. She still remembers how hurt her sister had been when she'd found out. True, the way she'd found out was probably as much to blame as the news itself, but that didn't change the fact that Alex hates being lied to.

"Can we just take an hour?" Kara asks, shifting in the bed so that there's empty space beside her. "Not any longer than that. But an hour to just be us, not Kara the Jedi in hiding and Cat the Resistance leader. You can talk to Winn afterwards, and I'll talk to Alex. But until then, let's just be us for a little while. We can lay here and forget about everything outside these walls."

Cat wants to protest, Kara can see that. They're both so focused that any time not spent on planning or preparing seems like a waste. But Kara also knows they can't stay at that level for weeks on end without losing their edge. They need moments like this, not only for the sake of their still fragile and growing relationship, but for their mental health. She knows that Alex and Maggie make that time while they're in the library, but she and Cat have been confined to the safehouse except for the rare meetups and their one attempt at the facility. They don't have a space or time to split their focus, not unless they make one. So that's exactly what Kara wants to do.

Cat seems to realize that, and doesn't argue as she moves from the chair to the bed. She's still tense, but Kara knows that after a few minutes that will pass. Cat is too familiar with the stress of the fight to fall into the trap of driving herself into the ground.

Better to take every moment they can for themselves. It won't often be an entire hour like this, but they can still find those minutes and even seconds to stop and breathe. They have to, or they'll never make it.

***

"Okay, ask away," Kara says as Cat disappears into the study to start planning with Winn. "We both know you can fill me in on anything you and Winn decided once Maggie and Buir get back, so you don't have to find an excuse to ask what you want to ask."

Kara hopes she isn't being too defensive, but she's still not happy with the thought of lying. She knows it's necessary or Alex will overreact rather than think, but she still hates it. Better to get this out of the way and move onto another topic. They still need their sister time just as much as Kara needs her time with Cat and Alex needs it with Maggie.

"Fine," Alex says, pulling Kara into the kitchen, the farthest point in the small dwelling from the study. It's not exactly private, but it is neutral ground and far enough from where Cat and Winn are holed up that they won't be overheard. It's as much of a defensive move as Kara preempting the conversation. "Are you okay? You've been quiet since we got back yesterday. If it's too much for you, we can figure something out, okay? I already gave my word to help Cat, you know I'll keep it even if you stay here. I know how much this means to you."

Alex's care and concern make Kara feel worse about the whole situation, especially when she promises that she'd help even with Kara along. If she hadn't already spent the morning convincing Cat that she had to come, Kara might have given in there and admitted everything, ready to let Alex put her foot down.

But she had decided, and that edge of dread in her stomach hasn't gone anywhere. Even without anything like specifics, the Force is making it very clear that Kara needs to be included. "I'm fine," she says instead, rolling her eyes a little when Alex doesn't look convinced. "Alex, I promise I'm fine. Yes, it was tough. Going on a mission like that, it reminded me of the times I'd done it before, and the people I went on those missions with. It brought back a lot of the loss I felt, and it took some time for me to deal with it all. But I'm fine now. I'm good to go back in."

"You know you can always talk to me," Alex says, a hesitation in her voice coupled with a quick glance towards where Cat is barely visible through the open door giving her away, and Kara rushes to reassure her.

"I do know that, Alex. You've always been there for me when I needed you, I know that isn't going to change. And even if I go to Cat with some things, that doesn't mean I don't think I can come to you, okay? It means we're growing up, that we're building relationships we can count on. It isn't just us anymore, and you don't have to deal with every one of my problems when you have your own life to live." Kara is determined to make Alex see that, even though she knows it won't be easy. Alex has always given too much when it comes to keeping Kara safe, and the thought that maybe she doesn't have to give that much now will probably be too much for her to believe easily.

"I just don't want you to ever think I don't have time for you," Alex says softly, and Kara can't resist leaning over to pull her sister in for as tight a hug as is safe.

"And I don't want you to think I will need every second of your time," Kara explains, just as softly. "It means more than you know to have you in my life, Alex. And I know you will always be there if I need you. But I want you to have a life of your own as well. One where you're happy for yourself, and not for me. And I want you to know that I will always be there for you, if you need me all you have to do is ask."

Alex clutches her back just as tightly, and Kara takes a moment to be grateful she hadn't been too stubborn to allow this in her life. How she would have gotten this far without her sister at her side, she can't begin to imagine.

Once Alex moves to pull away Kara leans back into her chair and fixes her with a pointed look. "Now that that's out of the way, we haven't had a good talk in ages. How are things with Maggie?"

As the sisters talk and gradually relax, Kara can feel the tension easing from her frame. This, just as much as her time with Cat, is what she's needed. The Danvers sisters are a team, and it's time they both start remembering that fact.


	20. Chapter 20

"And you're sure it's not too tough for them?" Alex asks as she studies the latest possible target Winn has found. None of the ones they'd discussed earlier had been right, but Winn seems to think this one is perfect. "We don't want our allies killed just to cover our attack."

"Oh yeah, this should be right in their range based on what intel James has given us." He sounds completely certain, but Alex isn't quite sold just yet. Hitting an Imperial supply depot is risky at the best of times. For a relatively untried Resistance cell it could be nothing more than elaborate suicide.

True, the deployment orders Winn found show a severe staffing problem, and the patrol routes have a half hour span where no other forces will be close enough to respond. But if the slightest thing goes wrong, the cell doesn't have the skill to react properly. If there are more forces than Winn anticipates, if one of the patrols is off schedule, the entire force could be wiped out.

"It's the best chance we've got," Winn continues, pulling up another view that shows the facility in relation to their own target. "Any further and the garrison protecting the lab won't respond. And anything less serious, they won't send enough troops to make a difference for us." The display runs through a few sims as they watch, and Alex has to admit it seems sound.

She still doesn't like the thought of putting so much pressure on troops she's never met, but that can't be helped. The Rebel cell just  needs to draw the Imperials away, nothing more. The success or failure of their actual strike means nothing in the long run.

A voice that sounds surprisingly like Kara reminds her those faceless troops have lives and families of their own, but she pushes the thought away. No mercenary can afford to think that way or they'll freeze up when the shooting starts. She has to stay detached, impartial. The enemy has to stay an anonymous helmet, and the Rebels a blank face behind a gun. If she thinks of them any other way they become a weakness to be exploited.

"How much time do you think they can buy us?" she asks, refocusing on the simulator to pull that detachment back into place. It's easier to think that way with an impersonal display of lights and counters.

"If they cut and run at the first sign of Imp retaliation? Thirty minutes. If they dig in for the first wave and only pull out when the garrison troops get close, an hour or more."

Alex wishes she knew whether they could count on the cell to fight back when challenged, but there's no way to know. She hasn't trained with them, hasn't fought beside them. She doesn't know what kind of people they are.

"Well, it's at least enough for Cat to take James. It'll ultimately come down to him." Alex feels guilty at the relief she feels, knowing she can put the decision on someone else. All they're doing is finding the best options possible, actually deciding whether to go through with it will fall on the Resistance leaders. "I'll call Cat in now, see what she thinks of the plan."

***

Alex can tell Cat has just as many doubts about the mission, but the end decision is the same. It's the best option they have, the only one that meets their diversionary needs while also giving the cell a decent chance of survival. And just as they'd discussed when the idea was first broached, these men and women had pledged to fight for the Rebellion's cause. That was what they'd be doing here, even if not in exactly the way they thought.

And if they could pull it off? It would be a major strike for them, providing needed supplies and ammunition could allow the previously limited cell to take on bigger and more effective missions. They could even step up recruitment once they had the supplies and ability to support more members, potentially even setting up another cell and doubling their effectiveness.

Alex just wished they could actually guarantee that success. No matter how she tried to push it down completely, she couldn't help wondering whether they were doing the right thing. It was an uncomfortable sensation, and entirely unwelcome as well. It was necessary, and that should be the end of it.

"I'll set up a meeting with James," Cat says once they've agreed this is the best they'll find. "Once we have J'onn and Maggie look at this to make sure we haven't missed anything J'onn can take it to the dead drop."

Alex isn't surprised that she doesn't seem happy, just as she isn't surprised Kara doesn't either. This is a lot closer to the line of morality versus expediency than anyone here likes. If she's struggling with it, then she knows they have to be.

"Maybe we should ask M'gann to come back in early," Kara says, staring down at the plans. "She can bring in another Mandalorian to help out the Resistance cell. If they have someone trained on their side their odds get a lot better."

"If we bring anyone in, I'd want them with us," Alex points out. "Our target is a lot tougher than a single understaffed supply depot with backup klicks away."

"Still, having her come in early isn't a bad plan," Cat says thoughtfully. "We could have her on standby, an equal distance from both the Resistance target and our own. If we can make it out without needing immediate extraction that's all the better anyway. Having her land a fighter anywhere near the facility is going to attract attention."

Alex studies the holo for a suitable place for M'gann to land, not quite willing to agree to this new plan. She can understand the reasoning, but what happens if they need immediate assistance and M'gann is already helping the Resistance cell escape? She might feel guilty about letting them fight and die for a diversion, but that doesn't mean she's willing to sacrifice herself so they can get away. And not only her life, but her entire family. Kara, J'onn, Maggie, even Cat and Winn would all die with her.

But the only place that really works for M'gann to hole up for an indefinite period of time is positioned fairly equally from both targets, so there's no way around it. She just hopes things for the cell don't go badly enough M'gann needs to step in.

Maybe J'onn can stay in close mental contact while they're inside the facility, close enough to help decide whether the Resistance cell actually needs the help or whether M'gann should hold. Without a third Gurlanin inside the facility they won't have full contact with either, but he can at least read the general emotional responses in the labs. If there's a spike of watchfulness, even without actual alarms going off he'll know something is wrong and keep M'gann back.

"Hopefully neither group will need her that badly," Alex says before the silence can stretch on too long, feeling Kara's gaze even though she won't look up to meet her sister's eyes.

"We'll figure it out as we go," Kara says softly. "You taught me that, Alex. You plan as much possible, but even the best plan doesn't survive contact with the enemy."

She knows Kara is right, but that doesn't mean Alex has to like it. If she had her way the enemy would follow a very exact script, one where they never got close enough to get off even a shot. They'd miss J'onn lingering outside the facility, and never know the infiltration team was inside at all. At least, not until the high power thermal detonators Alex wants to plant go off.

Oh well. She'll just hope the Empire follows as much of the script as possible.

***

"It's dangerous to meet again," James says, eyes flitting from shadow to shadow without stopping.

Alex wants to do the same, but she's not on perimeter guard this time. She's watching the Resistance agents for any sign they've sold out. True, Kara's Force senses should give plenty of warning, but no one wants to rely on them completely.

"It is," Cat agrees, looking far calmer than anyone has a right, given their surroundings.

They're in yet another abandoned warehouse on the outskirt of town, one cleared out of any packing containers that might provide cover for an ambush. But even without that it's not a place that screams comfort and security. Not when every bad gangster holo contains at least one warehouse just like this one, and those meeting always end in a firefight.

"Then what the hell was so important you needed to make contact?" There's a bit of heat in his words, and Alex moves her hand to the butt of her pistol, helmeted head looking directly at him. He doesn't need to know she could be staring off into the distance and still watching him as closely as she is now.

The message isn't subtle, and it's clear when it registers. Alex was careful not to seem jumpy or ready to blast him, but the slight movement says 'watch yourself' all the same. She might not agree with Cat on everything, but she isn't going to stand by and let James disrespect or threaten her.

"The first attempt at getting into the facility didn't work," Cat says, waving a hand at Alex without taking her eyes from James. "We need a second shot, and we need a diversion."

"And you want to use my people." It isn't a question, but Cat nods anyway.

"We found a target, one your team should be perfectly capable of taking on. We'll have an escape vehicle standing by in case they get into trouble, but it's our only way off planet so they can't count on it unless things go very badly indeed."

"And why do you need us?" James asks, this time managing to keep the accusation from his voice. "Where you spotted last time?"

"No, the facility commander showed up and we couldn't get into the lab without attracting notice," Cat answers as Kara moves forward in a way that has Alex tensing. She hadn't known this was part of the plan. Kara was supposed to be just another Mando, Cat's bodyguard and nothing more.

"We need a diversion to be sure the Colonel stays at the garrison, and we need him to stay at the garrison so his chief enforcer stays with him," Kara answers. "He has a fallen Jedi with him named Astra In-Ze, and if she's at the facility when we go in again, we won't make it to the research labs without her sensing our presence."

Alex freezes, the only reaction that's safe at the moment. She wants to yell and scream, wants to drag Kara to the nearest ship and blast of this planet before the Empire finds them. It's bad enough Kara is still here anyway, now there's someone who can sense her presence?

But she can't do any of that, can't do anything to give Kara away. As it stands, they can play off the knowledge of Astra's existence by claiming Winn found it while hacking in. But if she gives James any reason to question he could realize the truth. And while he might be a decent person, the reward for turning in both Cat and an escaped Jedi would be enough to tempt anyone.

"So you want my people to play target for you, against a fallen Jedi working with the Empire?" James asks incredulously. "Are you serious?"

"Records show she doesn't go after simple targets," Kara explains. "There's no sign she'd go after your troops for a simple supply raid. She stays close to Lord's side most of the time, I don't think the Empire trusts her to go off on her own."

Alex tries to listen after that, but all she can think of is the fact this Astra was in the facility at the same time they were. While they'd been breaking in, a fallen Jedi had been standing around, just waiting for Kara to come within sensing distance. And now Kara wants to make her way back into the same facility.

She barely remembers Cat eventually convincing James, barely remembers the trip back to the safehouse. J'onn seems to understand, setting Maggie to watch the scanners for any sign they've been noticed as they take a circumspect route back.

All she can think about is what Kara would be risking, going back in with someone like Astra out there. Okay, they might have data that shows the woman stays by Lord's side, and they might have a plan to keep Lord out of the facility. But what if something goes wrong? What if Lord sees through the diversion, what if Astra gets a warning through the Force and shows up without him? How could Kara think of coming along and putting herself at risk?

"Before you say anything, Kara is still coming with us," Cat says when they walk through the door, not bothering to stay quiet until everyone has their armor off and has settled in. "We need her talents just as much as Winn's if we're going to pull this off."

"But won't she put us at greater risk?" Maggie asks. "Force users can sense each other if they're close, what's to stop this Astra from realizing Kara is with us?"

It's clear from the way no one is looking directly at Alex they all know she's holding on by the thinnest of threads. Maggie is the only one close to her, one hand on Alex's shoulder plate, offering comfort as if the beskar wasn't there.

J'onn is staying back, looking at both his daughters with concern written across his face. Winn had made his escape to the study, shutting the door behind him with a muttered "I'm going to check on the latest Imperial transmissions."

And Cat is standing with Kara, much the same way Maggie is standing with her. Both women are offering support, but at the heart this is between Alex and Kara. It's between two sisters who would do anything to protect the other, and who each have very different takes on what that entails.

"If Astra is paying attention to the facility, it won't matter if I'm with you or not," Kara says, voice quiet as she stares at Alex. Alex is the only one who hasn't removed her helmet, and Kara stares into the visor as if she can see Alex's eyes behind it. "And if she does, then I need to be there to help."

"She and I have talked about this," Cat jumps in, keeping her voice level. "I think it's worth the risk. Her presence shouldn't be more obvious than we'd already be. And we may need her."

"Shouldn't be." Alex says finally into the silence after Cat finishes speaking. "You're basing this off of 'shouldn't be'? And what if you're wrong? What happens then?"

"Then we'll all be in trouble," Kara says with a shrug, not looking away from Alex. "I know it's a risk you don't want to take, Alex. I do. But imagine if our places were reversed? What would you do? Do you really think you could let me go off to risk my life and stay behind where it was safe?"

It's not fair Kara uses that argument against her, because of course Alex wouldn't. Of course she'd do everything in her power to go along, to protect her. Even if her presence made it more likely someone would notice, the amount of risk versus the amount of good she could do wasn't a fair comparison. Staying away, staying out of sight, she couldn't do anything to keep Kara safe from back there.

And of course Kara knows that. Of course Kara knows exactly what argument to use against her. There's a small part of Alex that knows Kara is only saying this because it's the truth, but she doesn't want to care. She wants to feel as if Kara is using inside knowledge against her. She wants to be hurt, and offended, and sure Kara is only saying this because it will get her what she wants.

She doesn't want to acknowledge that Kara has a right to join them. That the little sister she's protected for years is an adult, capable of making her own decisions. She might know Kara has a right to be on this mission, but she can't like it, and it's easier to be upset than to think rationally.

"I can't lose you." It's not what she meant to say, but that's all that comes out of Alex's mouth. All she has time to say before Kara is moving forward to pull her into a hug so tight even beskar armor creaks a little under the pressure.

"You won't lose me, Alex, I promise," she whispers. "I will be safe, I will obey orders, and I will do everything in my power to get us all out safely."

Alex just nods and tries to relax into the embrace, needing the grounding certainty of Kara's presence. In this moment, in this space, Kara is safe. The future is just that, the future. It hasn't happened, and Alex can fight with everything she has to make sure when it does arrive, it's a future she wants to see.

***

"Does anything look different than last time?" James asks from where he's crouched with the others. "Any sign of increased patrol activity?"

"No, and I'd tell you if there were," Alex says, a little sharper than she intends.

She's grateful to have two more accomplished fighters on the team now that they've decided this has to be their last attempt, but she hasn't worked with him before. Add that to the nerves she already has, and she isn't at her most tactful.

"You two keep watching," she says to James and Vasquez, knowing they can be trusted with that much at least. With the added risk of this mission, she wants a moment with her family.

"I'll be waiting for your signal," J'onn says when she makes her way to his side. "No matter what happens, you find a way out and I'll get to you."

Alex nods, trusting he will. He's been her father since she landed on Mandalore, even before the actual adoption, and she knows he'll do anything for his children.

"But if we can't get out," she starts, voice cracking slightly as an image of Kara lying motionless appears in her mind. "If we can't, you get out of here. Don't try to come in after us, okay? Just remember us, keep us alive that way."

"We're coming out of this," Kara says, walking up just in time to hear the last. "No one is adding any names to the remembered dead today."

Alex tries to believe it’s true, tries to find the hope Kara feels so effortlessly. But she's a pragmatist, a warrior trained by other pragmatists. They're up against long odds, and sometimes you have to say the things that need said in case you don't get another chance.

So when Maggie walks up to them, Cat and Winn trailing behind and looking a little uncomfortable in the basic armor they'd tracked down to give the two a bit more protection, Alex doesn't hesitate to pull her off to the side. They still have a few minutes before they need to run, and there are enough fighters keeping watch. She can take a moment for this.

"I don't want to lose you in there," she starts, trying to find words for what she wants to say. "Maggie, these past few weeks, even with the constant threat of death hanging over us, they've been great. I didn't, I didn't know things could be that good. And I just want to say thank you, for being patient with me when I was trying to deny this."

"Oh, Alex," Maggie says with a small laugh, leaning up to give her a quick kiss. "You were worth waiting for, you know? Even with the whole risking death bit, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

"I love you," Alex breathes out, needing to say it, needing Maggie to hear the words before they take on the Empire. At least now if the worst happens, Maggie will know how she felt. There won't be any doubts, any regrets. She won't leave anything left unsaid.

"I love you too." The words make Alex soften as she pulls Maggie close, taking the last few minutes of peace offered to them before they have to run for it and the danger becomes a lot more real.

***

Kara tries to meditate while she waits for the clock to run down, knowing she needs to settle her nerves or she'll radiate distress through the Force. But it's hard, knowing everyone she loves is about to risk their lives on this attempt. That even with the sense of certainty she still feels from the Force, she could be losing someone tonight, or they could all be lost.

"If you aren't up to this, you could wait in the speeder with J'onn," Cat says as she comes up behind where Kara is sitting. "Your sister would probably be grateful, in fact."

"I can't," Kara says, shooting a look towards where Alex is talking quietly to Maggie.

There's fear there, coming from both of them. But also a well of happiness and love that brings home just why Kara is doing this, why she's willing to risk her life to stop the Empire. The entire galaxy deserves a chance at that happiness, and her family deserves the chance to keep it.

"I can't stay behind," she continues, turning her attention back to Cat. "I can't explain it, but I know I have to do this. If I stay behind, the mission won't succeed. I don't know  _ how  _ I know, whether it's just my fears or the Force, but I can't stay behind and let you all die."

"Do you think we're walking into a suicide mission?" Cat says, studying her face carefully.

"No, but I think our chances of success are a lot smaller if I don't go with you," Kara explains, holding on to the sensation of certainty that's buried deep within her. They can do this, she knows they can. "I'm just afraid of losing any of you."

"I know," Cat says, sitting next to Kara and staring down over the facility in the distance. "I've been on my fair share of missions, setting up Resistance cells. I've fought a number of battles, and I've been sure I was about to die more times than I care to admit. But this scares me more than anything in the past."

"Because this time you have people you could lose," Kara whispers, knowing it's true. It's easy to risk yourself, but a lot harder to risk those you care about. That's one reason the Jedi had been so against attachments and the way they clouded your judgement. Mandalorians weren't the only ones with a habit of making pragmatic decisions, no matter how the Jedi tried to pretend otherwise.

"Do you think there's something beyond this?" Cat asks, waving her arm at the world around them. "Some place we all go after death?"

"I don't know. The Mandalorians believe in the Manda, a conscious oversoul comprised of everyone with a Mandalorian soul in life. And the Jedi believe we rejoin the Force. Kryptonians believe we all end up in the warm light of Rao." Kara has thought about it, in the past. She's wondered which is the truth, or if all of the various beliefs in the galaxy are true in their own way. Or maybe they're all wrong. Maybe there isn't anything after, and all you can do is make your time in the galaxy mean as much as possible.

"I'd like to believe there's something after this. Some meaning to it all." She sounds wistful, and Kara doesn't even have extend her Force senses to feel the weight of melancholy and regret on her shoulders.

"Even if there isn't, you keep him alive and with you now," Kara says gently, knowing no matter what else she believes in that.

"Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum," Cat recites, leaning her head on Kara's shoulder plate. "Carter Grant." She sounds near to tears, and Kara can't blame her. Tonight, if things go badly, she could rejoin her son in whatever life comes after this one. Or things could go off without issue, and she'll have to face another day without him.

"Carter Grant," Kara repeats. She'd already said her full list before they'd left the safe house, not wanting something to go wrong and keep her from her remembrance.

"I don't want you to only be alive in my memories," Cat admits, once she's regained control over her breathing. "I've done enough of that in my life, Kara Danvers, I don't want to add to it."

"I promise I'll do everything I can to keep that from happening," Kara says, tilting to place a gentle kiss to the top of Cat's head. "As long as you promise me the same."

"Oh trust me, I have no plans on rushing into the line of fire. I'll leave that to the trained fighters." Cat sounds teasing, but Kara can tell she means it. She's promising just as honestly as Kara, but she's trying to lighten the mood for them both.

They sit there for another moment, just soaking in the other's presence and the calm that comes from it, until J'onn signals.

***

This time the run for the door is harder on both Cat and Winn, burdened as they are with armor. Kara has to help them both make it, diving inside just as the door closes behind them and the base sensors reengage. The others have set up a sweep of the room in mixed pairs, Alex working with Vasquez and Maggie working with James.

They'd wanted to work in teams, but without training together they'd decided to mix partners so each pair knew what at least one person in the other team would do. It wasn't perfect, but it was the best they were going to get.

"Warm body in the same room," Maggie says quietly over their shared comm, she and James holding back as Alex and Vasquez make their way to investigate.

"Change of plans," Lucy says once they've all joined her, and every one of the infiltrators stiffens.

Alex and Maggie instantly swing their rifles to a ready position, Vasquez mirroring them a second later. Kara moves to shield Cat and Winn, her own rifle in a loose grip as she glances around for any sign of Imperial troops. She can't risk stretching out with her Force senses, but she can't pick up anyone immediately around them.

"What do you mean change of plans?" James asks for each of them, trusting that the others have the defenses covered while he interrogates his contact.

"I mean I can get you further than originally planned," Lucy says quickly, perhaps startled by how readily the warriors swing into action with so few words. "I received orders this morning, I'm being transferred to Lord's private command when he's promoted to a secret research facility I don't have clearance to know the location of. I wouldn't be able to help the Rebellion from there, and I can't take being on Lord's personal anything."

"Kriff, don't scare us like that," James says, relaxing at the words.

Kara isn't quite as ready to trust her, a habit of suspicion Alex had trained into her years ago. And if she isn't, then no one else in the group is likely to believe it so easily either.

"That's a very convenient story," Cat says, barely beating Alex to it. Kara had heard the inhalation over the shared comm that she knew meant her sister was about to speak. "But it might be a little too convenient."

"I know how it sounds, and if you want me to stay behind then say the word," Lucy says, knuckles whitening a little as she clenched her fists. "I'll give you an hour, and then make my way outside the facility walls on my own. But if you aren't done by the time I do then my escape will put the facility on lockdown and you'll have to fight your way out."

"Give us a reason to trust you," Maggie calls, not shifting her attention from the doorway she's covering. "Something more than a story that sounds too good to be true."

"I don't know that I can," Lucy says honestly. "I got my orders this morning, too early to warn James by dead drop. I ship out in a week. This is my last chance to make it out of here and strike a blow at the same time. And if I wait until you've finished, they'll lock the base down too tightly for me to make my own escape."

Kara switches quickly to a channel that doesn't include James or Vasquez. She might not keep her identity a secret from them for much longer, but she can at least try. "She isn't lying," Kara says, able to tell that much. "I can't do more than tell you that, but she's telling you the truth as she knows it."

"Do you think we can trust her?" Alex asks, shooting a quick look over her shoulder before turning back to her own focus.

"I think we can." Kara isn't sure whether they can trust the information the Empire had given Lucy, but she knows the Lieutenant won't betray them. If she's leading them into a trap, she's leading herself into it as well.

"Then let's see where this ride takes us."


	21. Chapter 21

Kara feels blind as they head deeper into the facility. She’s gotten used to keeping her Force senses extended over the past few weeks and losing that extra level of awareness is harder on her than she’d thought it would be. Not only is she afraid they’ll walk into an ambush she could have sensed, it takes conscious effort to keep her presence pulled in and contained enough to avoid Astra noticing.

She doesn’t have the extra sensors Alex and Maggie do, her own armor almost devoid of special upgrades. When she’d been forging the sets she hadn’t expected there to be a time she’d need them. Alex was the warrior, the mercenary. She was the one who would depend on her armor for her life and safety. Kara was just trying to hide.

So while she’s just as well protected as the other two, far better than any of the others on the strike team, that’s the extent of it. She can’t see through the walls with a special visual upgrade, can’t pick up vibrations from booted feet with a special sensor. She has all her Kryptonian strengths, but even vision that can see colors humans can’t and details smaller than humans notice can show her what’s on the other side of a metal bulkhead.

It’s only the fact she’s been assigned to cover Cat and Winn keeping Kara from chafing at their marching order. Alex and Vasquez have the lead, right behind Lucy as she leads the team through security checkpoints with a little help from Winn.

Next is Kara’s group, in the “protected” middle. If they do walk into a trap or run into someone unexpected, they’ll be the safest. Maggie and James bring up the rear, arguably the most dangerous position for now. But James has a set of body armor Vasquez lacks, so there hadn’t been much choice.

Alex had offered Vasquez a chest plate like the ones Cat and Winn wear now, but she’d turned the offer down. “Thanks, but I need full range of motion in a fight,” she’d said, pulling back her jacket to reveal a full set of throwing vibroblades. “Hitting the neck gap on stormtrooper armor is hard enough without throwing my balance and rotation off.”

That had been enough to win the respect of the Mandalorians in the group, though Kara was glad Maggie was fully confident in her own abilities. As it was the look on Alex’s face had definitely sparked a few waves of jealousy. Those hadn’t faded until a whispered conversation Kara had deliberately avoided being anywhere near.

“Are you feeling anything?” Cat asks quietly as they wait for Winn to double check the patrol schedule for the next section of corridors.

“No, but I’m pulled in pretty far. I don’t want Astra to sense me.” It’s probably overkill, but Kara won’t take the risk her very presence might endanger her friends and family. Better to be safe.

“You can’t reach out at all? Not even with Winn’s tracking showing she’s at Lord’s side at the barracks? That’s kilometers from here, Kara.”

“I can’t risk it until they’re focused on the Resistance attack,” Kara explains. “Even if Astra doesn’t respond, I could draw her attention. If I reach out before then, she might notice the waves in the Force.”

It’s the truth, but Kara is also afraid of what she might feel should Astra sense her presence. They’d been close once, family in more than just their loyalty to the Jedi. Astra had been Kara’s role model, the person she wanted to be when she grew up. Their few years together in the Temple had cemented the bond despite the age difference.

In fact, Kara had been disappointed Astra wasn’t a little older when it came time to be chosen as a Padawan. If Astra had already been a Knight, Kara would have wanted her as a Master. But Astra had still been a Padawan when the war broke out, and only passed her Trials because of the sudden need the Jedi faced for more Knights, more generals to lead troops. And by that time Kara was already apprenticed to Kal-El.

With a history so strong between them, what would it be like to feel hatred from Astra? Kara would have said such a thing was impossible, but the Astra she knew would never support the Empire. They would have to twist her, corrupt the bright core of the person Kara had known so well. Breaking and rebuilding Astra into the fighter they wanted and nothing more. Into someone Kara couldn’t recognize.

“They should launch their attacks any minute now,” Cat says with a quick check of her chrono. “By then we should be in the main control room for the weapon. That’s when you’ll be needed most, okay? Just focus on getting there for now, if you can’t reach out then we’ll trust the others will get us there safely.”

The warmth in Cat’s voice is all the reassurance Kara hadn’t known she needed, spoken quietly to avoid attracting the attention of the others. It’s a belief in her abilities Kara had been lacking, and that lack would make it harder to access the Force when the time came. But with Cat’s calm assurance things will be fine and Kara will be strong enough Kara has enough confidence to believe in that herself.

“Buir signaled, the Resistance is moving,” Alex calls quietly from where she’s covering Lucy. “They should attract Imperial attention in about ten minutes, and Winn shows no patrols in this area for the same time frame. Everyone ready to move, and move _fast_?”

Kara nods, looking around to see everyone else is doing the same. Even with her Force senses pulled in she can sense the nervous energy radiating off the group, and she spares a second to hope it hasn’t been spotted by Astra as well. But as long as they’ve gone unnoticed so far, that edge of fear and nerves will help keep them alive over the next hour.

“I have the movement sensors looped for the next five minutes, once the doors open we have that much time to reach the lab control room and hack the sensors there,” Winn says, his pale blue skin looking almost translucent.

He’s the only group member who’s visibly scared, though Kara knows that’s cheating when half the strike team is helmeted. But even without being able to see the others, she can’t blame him. He isn’t made for a fight like this, and he knows it. Winn can face down any cyber-attack the Empire launches without breaking a sweat, but walking straight on into potential danger is something else entirely.

When the blast doors open they’re off and running, adrenaline helping Cat and Winn keep up with the rest of the group. They only have five minutes for Winn to hack the lab security, so every second they save here _counts_.

Alex and Vasquez reach the door first, each sliding into a kneeling position on either side of the door as their rifles swing up into ready position to sweep the room. They’re already nodding by the time Kara’s group makes it, waving towards the closest terminal without taking their eyes off the perimeter.

Winn heads directly there with no further prompting, Lucy following to provide the initial access to save him time getting into the system. Kara follows, her own rifle held at the reach while Cat moves close behind, covering those three as she moves.

Maggie and James are the last in, and they head quickly to the entrances on the opposite side of the room, providing a thorough sweep of the space between as they go. Even without training together everyone manages to mesh, not a word needing said as they move into place. They all know their jobs, and know how to do it while everyone else focuses on their own.

With the amount of adrenaline coursing through Kara every second seems to last an hour. She’s completely focused, Force senses extended as far as she considers safe until they receive word the Empire is responding to the Resistance attack. The rifle in her hands is almost a part of her body, and for once the weight of her armor feels natural.

“Okay, I’m in,” Winn announces at the same time Alex relays the Resistance attack is fully in progress and the garrison is responding.

And suddenly, Kara isn’t sure exactly how, but suddenly everything is more real. They’ve been in the facility for half an hour already, but this is the moment it all hits Kara. There are people fighting and possibly dying right now, all to give the strike team a chance at success. A success that isn’t guaranteed by any means. Her friends and family could easily become casualties of this battle, no matter how strong or fast they all are.

“Breathe, Kara,” Cat says, looking up from her console at some sign from Kara’s demeanor that something is wrong. “This is the moment we need you to focus, okay? I know you’re worried, but we can do this.”

“We’ve got this, Kara,” Alex chimes in, the symbol on Kara’s HUD showing the three of them are now on a private channel. “You just keep an eye out for trouble while Cat and Winn do the rest.”

The twin support from Alex and Cat both manages to steady her, and Kara returns to a relaxed ready position rather than the tense mass of muscles she’d been before. She’s still fully ready to act, but now she’s loose and confident. Now if something happens she can think through her response rather than instinctively responding and perhaps overreacting.

Settling in for a wait, Kara finds a good place to stand while she covers the infiltration team. Protected on one side by a high terminal and meeting other shorter cabinets forming a defensive “L” shape, it’s the best option still within range of where Cat and Winn are working. She can cover them without drawing fire their way, should it come to it.

She’s almost decided that maybe they’ll be able to pull this off after all when one of the blast doors opens and a sense of _wrongness_ washes over her senses. The startled blasts from James and Maggie are deflected into the ceiling and floor with ease, and Kara freezes for a long second as her hands grip at her own useless rifle.

“Well, Little One. I hadn’t expected to see you here.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With a cliffhanger like that, how could I resist? But don't worry, the next chapter won't take another week, I'll have it up as quickly as I can!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you it wouldn't be a week! It still took longer than I intended, but it wasn't a week! Next chapter might be a short one Sunday, or it might be a full chapter a week after that, depending on how things go. I have a few other stories I should probably put some work in on, since they're ones I owe friends. But it's NaNo month and this story is my main project until it's done, so there shouldn't be any month long waits (and sorry about the ones in the past...)

The seconds it takes Kara to snap out of her shock stretch too long, her mind screaming with the need to act as her limbs remain frozen. In the end it's only the smirk as Astra's gaze travels across the group that brings her out of it. She isn't sure, but she thinks Astra might pay special attention to Alex and Cat, and that's something she can't take. Better keep the focus on herself.

"You cover them," she says to Lucy as she's stepping forward to confront Astra, ignoring the protests over the private channel in her helmet. "If Astra is here, the troopers can't be far behind."

"Yes, I'm sure they'll be on their way soon," Astra says dismissively. "But I must admit I have little concern for their success or failure. It's you I'm interested in, Kara Zor-El."

Hearing her name in full Kryptonian accent for the first time in hears sends a shiver down Kara's spine, and not only from the nostalgia of it all. Astra's voice somehow makes her name sound cold and distant, nothing like the warmth of Rao Kara still holds as a distant memory.

When they were young, Astra had softened it, had reminded Kara of a family and their love left behind in pursuit of a greater calling. She'd been a touchstone to all Kara was protecting, all she was serving. Now she's as cold as the ice atop the Crystal Mountains of their home world, and every bit as deadly.

But if Astra means what she said about the rest of the mission, then maybe Kara has a chance here. Maybe she can buy the rest enough time to succeed.

"So this conversation is between you and I then?" she asks, moving into an open are of the room and waving the others back.

"As it should be," Astra agrees, moving to stand opposite Kara but making no move to close the gap between them. "I have no love for Colonel Lord or his pet project, what your friends accomplish here does not concern me."

"Why tell the Empire about us at all if our actions don't concern you?" Kara asks, clinging to any excuse to draw the conversation out and stall for time. She's too rusty to think taking Astra on alone is a good idea. But if they have time before the stormtroopers arrive, maybe she won't have to.

But for now the others are stuck. They can't move from their positions covering the doors until Cat and Winn finish their work. That's the real goal here, and even Alex knows, won't fight against it. She'd given her word to see this through, and Kara knows her sister well enough to know she won't go back on that. No matter how much she'd rather be at Kara's side.

"What makes you think I told them anything?" Astra asks, starting to swing her lightsaber in slow patterns Kara recognizes from some of her first classes with the weapon.

Against her better judgement Kara tosses her rifle to the side in response, drawing her own saber hilt but not lighting it just yet. Blaster bolts will do nothing against Astra, not without a concentrated volley from multiple angles that could overwhelm her defenses. With only Kara firing, they could too easily turn into extra weapons in Astra's hands, ones she could send back towards another member of the strike team.

"If you didn't tell them, how do you know they're coming?"

"Oh, they'll be tracking me, of course," Astra says casually, still lazily swinging her blade through the practice forms. "I had a vision I needed to be here tonight, to face you. To save you."

"We need at least ten minutes, Kara" Cat's voice comes through the comm. It's tight with worry, but Kara knows the other woman is pushing it down to focus on her task. "Keep her talking so we can finish, you won't be alone after that."

Keep her talking. Right. She can do that.

"Save me from what?" Kara asks, trying to pour confusion into the Force. That's the good thing about trying to fool another Jedi, the Force doesn't give many details. And she really is curious to know what Astra is thinking, which will help as well.

"From what they did to me," Astra says, suddenly serious. Her lightsaber stills, hanging loosely at her side as her eyes focus somewhere in the distance on something no one else can see.

"They broke me, Kara," she continues, voice quiet and distant. "They caught me, and they broke me. Then I saw you here, fighting the Empire. Saw you losing. And then they broke you as well."

"Over my dead body," Alex growls, though she somehow keeps it limited to the shared comm rather than spoken aloud where it might provoke Astra into acting. Kara can see her tensing in readiness out of the corner of her eye, but the expected explosion never comes.

"The future is always in motion," Kara points out quietly, not wanting to startle Astra out of her daze and into action. "You and I both know Force visions can lie, or be changed by the smallest actions we take." There's a bit of heat to her words, hopefully enough to spark an argument but not a battle. Arguments are easy to keep going, a battle would be disastrous.

"I couldn't take the risk," Astra says, her focus coming back to the present. "What they did to me, Little One, I would rather die than see them do to you."

Alex doesn't so much as shift a muscle, but Kara can easily sense her sister's reaction to that statement. And if she can, Astra certainly can as well.

"That won't happen here," she says quickly, hoping to shift the focus back to herself and no one else. "The Force may tell you this mission will end in pain, but it tells me we will succeed."

"But does it tell you how?" Astra presses, taking a half step closer to Kara with one hand pleadingly outstretched. "Does it show you walking out with these friends of yours, ones who could never understand you? Or does it show you giving in, coming with me willingly? Only one of those futures is possible, and I know the strength massed against you. It will not be the first."

If there were ever an argument to sway Kara, this would be it. She can feel the hope in Astra's chest as if it were in her own, feel their shared history calling to her.

What would it be like, having someone who could understand her completely? Not pieces of who she is, but all of her. Kryptonian and Jedi, warrior and child? They aren't the same young Padawans they'd been when the war broke out, but no one could ever understand Kara the way Astra could.

But what would the cost of understanding be? Kara can't keep both Astra and her family and she knows it. Astra serves the Empire now, willingly or not, and for Kara to join her she would have to do the same.

And if she were to join the Empire, what then? Would they demand she kill her family to prove her loyalty? What act of depravity would they order to bring her to the dark side? And even if they didn't ask that or any other horror of her, how could she ever serve something that's taken so much from her?

"We hit a block, keep stalling," Cat says, and Kara lets herself smile beneath her helmet.

Joining the Empire would betray everything Kara stands for. And more than that, it betrays those she cares about, the people she loves with every fiber of her being. The darkness of the Empire leaves no room for love, no room for hope.

She knows what she has to do, now.

"I choose the first option," she says, standing calmly as she opens herself fully to the Force. "If I chose anything else, it wouldn't be me walking out of here.

Astra nods once, and Kara feels a wave of sorrow sweep over her. But it's dark, and desperate, and nothing like the way Kara feels knowing her oldest friend has fallen so far. And that's why she can't give in.

The nod is all the warning Kara gets, and when she raises her lightsaber to block Astra's first blow her blade is still extending. Whatever their history, Astra doesn't seem inclined to go easy on her.

It's all Kara can do to dodge or parry the blows, and she realizes with a sense of dread that Astra is genuinely trying to kill her. Apparently her earlier comment about seeing Kara dead rather than broken hadn't been an exaggeration.

Kara hears the others calling warnings across the room, and some corner of her awareness realizes the Imperial troops have finally arrived. But she can't worry about them not, not while in a duel for her life.

Astra swings at her head with a quick strike, and Kara lets herself own blade meet Astra's directly to determine how much strength Astra is putting into her blows.

Even with years working in the forge and building muscle the force of it nearly drives her back. Whatever Astra's been doing since the war ended, it hasn't been sitting around letting her skills or strength wane. Fighting her directly isn't much of an option, Kara will be exhausted in five minutes if she tries to block everything.

There's a cry of pain from someone as Kara goes to block another strike, and she can't help instinctively looking to see who it was, hearth clenching with fear it might have been Cat or Alex. She knows it's dangerous to split her focus in a fight, but she needs to be sure they're okay.

It’s only a split second check, one showing Cat typing furiously and Alex laying down steady fire, but it costs her. Only the fact she's wearing beskar armor saves her life, and even then the blow still knocks her back. But the only damage is a streak of singed paint across her chest plate, and Kara offers a silent thanks J'onn had insisted she have a set of her own when she'd forged Alex hers.

The lack of injury seems to surprise Astra, keeping her from immediately following up on the blow and giving Kara a chance to refocus. The others have their jobs, and right now Kara has one of her own.

"You could come with us," Kara offers as she presses the attack. She's too out of practice to actually land a blow, but she's at least managing to keep Astra on the defensive for now.

That's why she offers, hoping to surprise the older woman. And maybe also because she wants Astra to accept, but Kara has been part of a pragmatic culture for too long now to count on it.

Astra looks amused for a second, spinning her blade in a showy parry that nearly knocks Kara's saber from her hand. "I don't think so," she says as she follows up with a quick jab, her look of amusement fading quickly. "I've been tracked down by the Empire once before. No matter how much I hate them, I won't go through it again."

The venom in her voice when she mentions her hate makes Kara flinch back, giving Astra the upper hand once more. And something in her tone makes Kara stop and think, wondering if maybe that was how they corrupted her. Maybe it doesn't matter what the reason for the emotions is, anything dark can warp a person into something they aren't.

She doesn't have time to think about it too much as they duel back and forth across the control room, giving and taking control as a battle rages around them. Kara is growing tired, not used to an extended fight, and at this point it's only the Force keeping her on her feet. Her parries are weaker, her thrusts slower. Her armor has picked up a dozen minor scrapes, and Kara knows it's only a matter of time before Astra hits a vulnerable gap.

Just as she thinks of it Astra swirls her lightsaber quicker than Kara can track, dodging Kara's desperate parry to land on the unprotected knee joint of her armor. The blast proof bodysuit is no match for a lightsaber, and Kara's knee buckles instantly. Only the fact it was a glancing blow saved her from losing the leg completely.

Her cry of pain is echoed by one from Cat, and Kara pushes past the pain to reach out with the Force to check on her. If Cat is hurt...

But when she touches the "Cat" spark all she feels is a bone deep worry for Kara. The only pain is from wondering whether Astra might be too difficult an opponent, whether she's about to lose someone she loves.

That love, just as strong as the one Kara feels for her, is what gives the young Jedi the strength to rise to her feet, supporting her weight on one good leg as she stares Astra down defiantly.

"You can't win," she says, letting her saber drop into a low ready position. "You can beat me, you could possibly kill me, but you can't win. I won't give up on my family, and I won't give in to the dark side."

It throws Astra, she can tell. But the fallen Jedi has been warped too much by her years held captive, and even the strong care she still has for Kara aren't enough to overcome those years of pain. It only takes her a second to move past the feeling before she's moving forward once more, all her previous speed and force still present in each swing.

But it's now no effort at all for Kara to block them, despite having one leg out of commission. She's surrendered completely to the Force, and she doesn't draw it through fear, or detachment, or anything else. She doesn't draw on it as a Jedi, or as a fallen Jedi, or as anyone but herself.

She draws on it through the attachments she'd always thought forbidden, through the need to keep the rest of the strike team safe. There's no room for concern, no room for second guessing. She only cares about making sure Astra can't hurt anyone she cares about.

And in that moment, Kara fully sets aside the mantle of Jedi. She isn't a member of an ancient Order any longer, isn't bound by the tenants they preached. She's not Mandalorian either, though given the room for individuality in Mando culture she might still be welcome.

But she's just a person. Just someone trying to make the galaxy a better place, one day at a time. Someone who loves fiercely and unreservedly, someone not afraid to take days and moments for herself along the way. Someone not afraid to want something, and not afraid to go for it.

And that person? That person feels the Force with a greater strength than Astra can imagine, pulling on it through hatred and fear the way she does. There's no competition between them anymore, not when Kara will never allow herself to falter in defense of those she has dedicated herself to protect.

Now it's Astra tiring quickly, and before long the older woman is pulling back to catch her breath, seeming to trust Kara won't move forward to push the advantage.

For a long moment they form a calm center in the middle of the battle raging around them, blaster bolts seeming to ignore them as they fly past. It's all separate from their current standoff, even as Kara somehow knows everything happening with the strike team.

She knows Lucy is nursing a blaster burn to her upper arm, Vasquez has a cut over her right eye that's starting to interfere with her aim. She knows Winn is petrified and struggling to focus through the chaos, and Cat is anxious and worried, but focused on the mission and starting to think they can pull this off. Alex, Maggie, and James are faring well, their armor managing to keep them from taking any damage as they hold the Imperial off.

But at the bottom of it, they're all okay, and now Kara knows they'll continue to be okay. They really can do this, can strike a major blow against the Empire and give the fledgling Rebellion a chance to gain strength.

"Thank you, Astra," Kara says, watching with a smile. "Maybe we were both right. Maybe the Force told me everything would be okay, and told you to come save me."

It's clear Astra is expecting some kind of trap, her mistrust is obvious in the Force as well as on her face. But Kara is radiating sincerity and calm, something that can't be faked, and eventually even Astra's doubt has to acknowledge that.

"What are you talking about?" she asks, seeming reluctant to waste time on words when she'd already decided on the only course of action possible to save Kara.

"I'm saying that without you, we probably would have failed today. The Empire would have found us, and I wouldn't have been strong enough to fight them off, no matter what help I had," Kara admits, as unashamed of her weakness as she is unashamed of her strength. "You helped me find that, find a new way to succeed."

"Kara, we've got it!" Cat says quietly, barely loud enough for the comm to pick her voice up. "Winn is working on an exit strategy now."

They've done it. They've managed to track down every trace of the weapon plans on the Imperial servers and delete them. Whatever happens after this, their mission has been a success.

The relief sweeps through the entire team, washing over Kara and Astra through the Force. They're still in trouble, still facing down Imperial stormtroopers intent on their death, but at least they've managed to stop the weapon and strike their blow.

"I'm leaving here with them, Astra. I'm taking the first option and walking out that door." Kara isn't arguing with Astra anymore, she's utterly certain her words are the truth. It's only what lies between then and now that is still a mystery.

Astra stares at her for a long moment, before letting her blade die. "You'll need a way out."

Kara wants to cry in relief, but also at the resignation she can feel in Astra at this moment. She knows what's coming now, what Astra has decided. And she knows there will be no convincing her to take another path. This change was hard enough.

Ignoring every rule of caution, knowing she can have her blade up in an instant to deflect a shot aimed her way, Kara slides her helmet off, wanting to look Astra in the eye for this. Needing to see the woman she'd known so many years ago, finally standing in front of her again.

"We'll find a way, we always do," she says, and this time she's the one to reach out her hand in invitation.

Astra moves forward and takes it without hesitation, their fingers linking together in Kryptonian tradition as they stare at each other, mourning what they've lost and what could have been, even as they celebrate what they've become now.

Because Kara isn't the only one who was saved from a dark end tonight, Astra was as well. No matter what happens next, she's no longer a slave to her hatred and the dark side. She's free of it, and free of the Empire. Free to choose her next actions.

"There's an escape tunnel, Lord's private escape tunnel," Astra says quickly when the moment passes, dropping Kara's hand to gesture towards where the camouflaged entrance is tucked away in the corner. "It leads to a tunnel that comes out about half a klick from here, far enough to be past the perimeter security even if they're looking for someone who might have escaped. There is no surveillance and if you move quickly, they might not realize where you've gone."

Kara nods, fighting down her tears as she slips her helmet back on so she can comm Alex. They've both made their choices.

"Kara, what the hell?" Alex says as soon as Kara is fully suited once more. "You can't go shaking hands with the enemy!"

"She's not the enemy," Kara says calmly, hanging her lightsaber hilt back on her belt and grabbing her discarded rifle. "Now trade me places so you can help Astra plant those charges I know you brought."

Moving quickly through the room and pausing only for a moment to place a comforting hand on Cat's shoulder in proof she's okay, Kara ignores the sputtering protests from her sister at the last bit. Alex will realize everything is okay eventually, right now she needs to get the charges placed.

"You trust her?" Alex says when Kara slides into place next to her, a few well-placed shots dropping two of the troopers firing down the corridor in front of them.

"She won't stop you, and she won't hurt you," Kara answers, knowing that's the important part to Alex. "And she's given us a way out."

Alex pauses for a second longer before nodding, scrambling backwards with her pack and digging for the incredibly high powered thermal detonators she'd tucked into it before they'd left on this mission. They're illegal on pretty much every civilized world, but that hasn't stopped Mandalorians before, and it isn't going to stop Alex now.

Kara continues to lay down covering fire, relying on the Force to guide her shots just as she's relying on it to dull the pain in her leg. Later, when all of this wears off and she settles back into her usual state of semi detachment, she's going to need some serious pain meds for it, but for now it's nothing more than a niggling discomfort in the back of her mind.

"Are you going to tell us how you changed her mind?" Cat asks during a lull in the fighting, and Kara looks back to make sure she isn't leaning out of cover just because the blaster bolts have stopped for a moment.

"I didn't," Kara answers, reassured when she can't see any trace of Cat from her current angle. "You all did." Switching channels with a few quick blinks so no one else can hear, her next words are for Cat only. "She saw how I feel about everyone here, but especially how I felt about you. And how you feel about me in return."

That's all she has time to say before the firing starts up again, but it's enough. It would have been enough without the words.

They already knew the truth without them, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I mentioned in the notes up top, I'm at a crossroads for the next chapter. I really want to include Alex's POV for this scene because Kara is so focused here that we don't really get the the chatter and what's going on with the firefight and the rest of the team. Alex's POV would give us that and then continue on with what comes next. Or, if most of you would prefer to just call it good with a "they succeeded" then I can move right on to the escape.
> 
> Let me know in the comments! This work is starting to wind down after a crazy journey, and I want to know if you all loved reading it as much as I loved writing it!


	23. Chapter 23

When the blast door opens to reveal a woman who can only be Astra, Alex is  _ pissed _ . After all their careful planning, after all the checks to ensure they face as little resistance as possible, Astra still manages to show up. If Alex did believe in any gods or higher powers at this moment, she'd be looking around for some kind of cosmic ladder to climb and smack some sense into them.

She would have started with Astra in the absence of any way to actually smack a god just to make sure the woman has no chance to get anywhere near Kara, but her sister is moving before she has a chance.

"Kara, no," she cries, wondering if there's a glitch in her helmet comm as she hears an echo. But of course it's only Cat, just as worried, calling out in exactly the same denial Alex feels. "Damn it," she curses when Kara ignores them both. Everything in her wants to rush to Kara's side, to stand as a shield in front of her and take the blows so Kara doesn't have to.

But she has a duty, and if Astra is here then the Imperial soldiers won't be far behind. And she'd made a promise to see this mission through no matter what the cost. A promise to herself, a promise to Cat, and most importantly a promise to Kara. She can't just forget the fact no matter how hard it is.

"If any of you see something happen to Kara, you hit the comm overrides and tell me immediately," she says fiercely, quickly muting their chat from Kara. She still wants Kara on the channel, still wants to hear everything going on between the two former Jedi, but she won't distract her sister during this fight. Alex and the others are trained to register the information from an audio stream without being distracted, Kara isn't.

"Do you want to go help her?" Maggie asks carefully, no doubt reading the tension in Alex's frame and voice. "We can cover things here if you do."

"No," Alex says, feeling as if the words are being torn from her. "No, we have a job to do. I can't ignore that just to get in Kara's way." She even narrows her field of vision in her helmet, shifting from a full 360 to just what's in front of her, not willing to allow Kara's fight to distract her from the job she has to do.

It hurts, turning back to the doorway she's covering. Every bone in Alex's body is aching with the need to shelter Kara, and holding herself still is agony. But this mission means everything to Kara, and Alex won't betray her sister by abandoning it.

If they had another few Mandos with them it would be a different story. If their backups watching the door were also wearing Mandalorian iron, if they were also highly trained and dependable rather than still being slight wildcards then nothing would keep Alex from Kara's side. 

But right now she and Maggie are it, and their Resistance allies can't hold the doors on their own. Vasquez isn't wearing body armor, she wouldn't stand a chance facing the Imperials alone. And James might have armor, but it's lighter durasteel, no match for the protection of beskar plates. Not enough to hold a door by himself against the kinds of weapons the Imps will have when they show up.

In the meantime she focuses on setting up a secure firing position that gives a good view of the door she's covering, grateful there are only two entrances to this room rather than a dozen. It will keep the Imperials limited in their attacks, until they decide the head on approach isn't working and blast through one of the walls.

And with Astra here and Imperial intervention a certainty Alex doesn't bother with trying to minimize evidence of their presence, dragging cabinets and arranging barriers to give the small strike team as much advantage as she can. They can't win a battle of numbers, but they can make it harder for those numbers to mean anything.

"Alex, we're getting close, but it will be at least ten minutes before we're in," Cat says as Alex finishes her preparations, turning to find Maggie and James have done the same.

"Let Kara know," Alex says, knowing if she comms her sister now that will be it, she won't manage to stay back and let Kara take care of herself. It has to be just as hard for Cat, but the woman has an inner strength and determination even Alex can't match when it comes to this mission.

It's more like Kara than Alex had realized, and she silently apologizes to both women for doubting their match when she'd first found out. Alex has always focused on her own, on making sure the people she loves are cared for and safe. It's what she does, who she is as a person. But those two? They think of others first in a way Alex can't understand. And she knows it's the same depth of feeling, but the effects are different. Losing Kara would destroy them both, but it's Cat who has the strength to reach out and yet stand still, not Alex.

Alex hears Kara's acknowledgement, as well as the deep breath her sister takes in preparation for whatever she has planned. And if she lets out a small sigh of relief when Kara's plan is to keep Astra talking, she thinks that can be forgiven.

Astra sounds concerned for Kara's well-being, and in another situation Alex would probably find it humorous how many people care about her sister in the most unlikely of places. But Astra's version of care seems like a double edged sword, a beskar saber honed to the point it could easily cut and kill without more than a hint of effort. Dangerous, no matter how genuine the emotions behind it.

When she hears Astra threaten Kara, and it is a threat no matter how much it sounds like a warning, Alex's control bends, just a little. "Over my dead body," she snaps, fighting to keep herself contained to a single remark over the comms.

Kara tries to calm things down, Alex can tell from her tone of voice. Always the mediator, always the quiet one. But it doesn't work, and the pure rage Alex feels when Astra says she's willing to see Kara die turns the world red for a long moment. And that is the only thing keeping Alex from moving, a single frozen moment of rage so powerful she can't think, can't move. Because when it fades, Kara is talking again, and Alex is reminded of her duty, her job. She can't let Astra get to her, can't let herself lose focus.

"Udesii," Maggie is whispering on a private channel when Alex comes back to herself, another grounding force to keep Alex in place. "She's got this, cyar'ika, she's got this. Relax, let her do what she needs to do, okay?"

"We hit a block, keep stalling," Cat calls across the comms, and Alex knows Kara heard when her voice turns certain, with a layer of resignation underneath.

It's only the first sign of stormtroopers coming around the corner on the grainy visual in Alex's helmet that keeps her from leaping to Kara's side when Astra strikes, earlier reservations gone in a moment when Kara is actively in danger. But if she can't stop the stormtroopers from making their way through, Kara will be outnumbered. RIght now, she can help her sister most right where she is.

"Lane, you watch Astra and keep an eye out for any signs the troopers are planning to blast through the walls," she calls, raising her rifle to a ready position and seeing Maggie do the same through the POV reading in her helmet. If they can keep the Empire from getting a foothold in the room, hold them to the entryways for as long as possible, they might be able to pull this off. Getting out will be another story, but Alex knows they'll find a way somehow.

The doors blow with barely controlled concussive force, and Alex wants to roll her eyes at the overkill. Either the trooper placing the charges is an idiot, the Empire is completely unconcerned for the welfare of their troops and demands the excessive use of force, or some combination of the two. Using too much thermal tape in a frame charge is a good way to kill your insertion force before they have a chance to engage the enemy.

But now the doors are out of the way and she has more important things to worry about. Like sighting on the lead stormtrooper and placing her shot carefully in the neck gap of his armor. She knows the bodysuits are supposed to be blast proof, but that's at a longer range and with a less powerful blaster. And she doesn't trust Imperial procurement, not with the general callousness of the current ruling classes.

Sure enough he goes down, but there's another trooper behind him, and another behind him. They seem to fill the corridor, and Alex feels a moment of worry before pushing it down to focus on finding her next target. There are a lot of them, but she's packed up on ammo. As long as they can keep the stormtroopers held up in the doorway, they'll be fine.

"We have to hold them back," she calls to the others, hearing echoes of agreement from the others.

"Toss a grenade down the corridors?" Maggie offers, firing quickly but surely, every blast hitting a trooper even if it doesn't take them down completely.

"Too risky," James says before Alex can, leaning out to let off a few shots of his own. "They took down the doors with thermal tape, if they have anything else and we set it off, the whole place could go."

Vasquez is slinging knives from beside Alex with an unconscious grace, popping out of hiding just long enough to sight and release before ducking back. She's not accounting for as many troopers as Alex, but she's definitely holding her own.

Eventually the numbers do win out, just enough for a few Imperials make it through the door to set up covering positions just inside the lab. Suddenly there's crossfire, and Alex has to be careful of when she ducks out to take her shots. Her own bodysuit might be built to higher specs than those of the troopers, but she doesn't want to test it against even a single shot, let alone a massed volley. The glancing blasts against her plates are enough, she's feeling a little bruised between those and the debris occasionally landing against her.

Lucy cries out in pain from where she'd been covering the hackers, and Alex curses, letting loose with a quick spray of blaster fire to keep the stormtroopers down while she quickly checks on her. It doesn't look bad, a graze to her off arm that isn’t interfering with her ability to return fire. From the look on her face she's in enough pain she'd rather be curled up weeping, but she doesn't let it distract from her task. Any time one of the enemy troops sights on Cat or Winn she's right there with a blast in their direction, keeping anyone from taking out the vulnerable members of their team.

"She's good, we're good here," Cat says quickly, probably noticing Alex's glance their way. "Winn is through the firewalls, he's hunting down every data file he can find while I run interference in the system. Shouldn't be much longer."

That glance is all Alex has time for as the stormtroopers start returning fire when her own stream of bolts fades out. She might have a pack full of ammo, but she can't spray it wildly or she'll run out long before they run out of enemies.

"Maggie, how you guys doing over there?" she calls, letting off a quick burst of fire towards a stormtrooper's chestplate, hoping the focused blasts will burn through the protective plastoid. It's a better target than neck joints, but it takes a little longer to burn through.

"We're holding our own," Maggie answers quickly, sounding a little out of breath. "But if we hold them off like this for much longer, they're going to give up on leaving the control room intact."

"Vasquez, you think you can figure out the most likely wall for them to blast through?" Alex asks, swapping the clip in her rifle for a new one, mentally counting how many she has left. They aren't in bad shape yet, but if this goes on too much longer she might have to start rationing.

"I'm on it," the Resistance fighter says, ducking down into cover and pulling out a datapad to check the maps of the facility. One hand wipes distractedly at her forehead, smearing the blood from a wound there, but she doesn't seem to notice. Leaving her to it, Alex sights on another target, takes another shot. With Vasquez working on something else, she's the only one keeping the stormtroopers at this door pinned down.

Cat's cry of pain jerks Alex out of her focus, her helmet spinning around to check on the Resistance leader. If anything has happened to her, Kara will be devastated. But Cat is fine, and a moment later Alex realizes it hadn't been physical pain, not from Cat. It was a pain Alex understands all too well when she sees Kara is the one who's hurt.

Kara is down on one knee, the armor around her other showing signs a saber has hit it. She can't see how bad the wound is from here, but if Kara is down then it has to be serious.

"Fierfek, Kara, don't do this to me," she mutters, tossing a pulse grenade towards a knot of stormtroopers to buy herself some time, watching to make sure Kara gets back up. It's a risk, if the grenade sets off the ordnance they're carrying then the entire room might go up, but a pulse grenade should be safer than a thermal detonator. And risk or no, she needs to be sure Kara is okay.

It takes too long for Alex's liking, but eventually Kara does stand, all her weight on one leg. It sends a jolt through Alex's system, knowing her sister is hurt, perhaps seriously, but at least Kara is up. Up, and seeming completely in control.

There's a sense of peace to her Alex can't quite puzzle out in the time she has to watch. Kara moves fluidly even standing in one space, her blade constantly in motion and keeping Astra from landing another hit. Even the glancing blows from earlier aren't getting through, no more streaks of charred paint appear any time Alex spares a second to glance over.

She hears Kara talking to Astra, saying something about finding her strength, but Alex has slipped into a hyperfocused mode now, timing her shots and concerned only with what the enemy is going to do next. She hears everything, but only the most immediate things register.

"Kara, we've got it!" Alex hears as she ducks behind cover to avoid a stream of blaster bolts from a new wave of reinforcements. "Winn is working on an exit strategy now."

Good, an exit strategy. That means this is almost over, they're almost free. All they need is to block the hallways so the troopers can't follow them, and get out of the facility. J'onn will pick them up, and then they'll make a run for it. M'gann should be ready and waiting, and they'll find a way off-planet when things die down a little. That's all doable.

"What the shab is she doing?" Alex hears Maggie curse, and with a few blinks she switches to a full 360 view in her helmet. She can't look away from the fight in front of her, but the great thing about wrap around helmet views is she doesn't have to.

When she's settled back into a full awareness Alex wants to curse as well. Kara is standing without a helmet, shaking hands with Astra. If she didn't know Kara would rather die than betray her family, Alex would be worried they'd struck some kind of deal. But that isn't Kara's way, so Alex doesn't know what's going on.

"Kara, what the hell?" she asks as soon as Kara's helmet is back in place. "You can't go shaking hands with the enemy!"

"She's not the enemy," Kara says with a calm that almost makes Alex want to smack her. Who can be so calm in the middle of a firefight? "Now trade me places so you can help Astra plant those charges I know you brought."

Alex can't help the stuttering protests at the last bit, wondering how exactly Kara can expect her to trust someone who'd just spent the last half hour trying to kill her. That was pretty high on Alex's list of unforgivable actions, right behind 'take over the galaxy and put Kara in danger every day of her life'.

"You trust her?" she asks when Kara slides into place next to her with a few well-placed shots, taking the chance to study her sister and the newfound air of confidence hanging over her. Something had changed, and Alex isn't sure what.

But she can always trust Kara, she doesn't need to know anything else to know that. And if Kara says they can trust Astra, well then, Alex will trust her for now.

"She won't stop you, and she won't hurt you," Kara says, still sounding calm as if they're lying on the grass at home, staring up at the stars. "And she's given us a way out."

Alex can't help hesitating for another moment before scrambling for her pack, pushing the full clips to Kara's side as she heads off to set the high powered explosives for remote detonation. She'll have to work hard to be sure the stormtroopers won't find them, or at least won't find all of them, but if they miss even one the entire lab will go up in flames. And if they miss them all, Alex might take out the entire facility with the push of a button.

"You'll need help placing those where they won't be found," Astra says when Alex reaches her side, reaching out a hand to take one. "I pledge you, I won't hurt you or any member of your team," she says when Alex hesitates.

"Why?" Alex can't help asking. "You were willing to kill Kara."

"To save her from what befell me," Astra explains, looking sorrowful. "I thought it was for the best. But Kara has a strength greater than what I could have expected, and I don't mean solely in the Force. She has the strength to survive, a fact I overlooked at first."

"She's always been a survivor," Alex agrees grudgingly, handing over one of the devices, already hooked to a det. "So, where are you going to place these?"

"Somewhere they won't be able to reach," Astra says, jumping into the air the way Alex has seen Kara do a few times. "I'll stay behind and hold them off, keep them from following you while you escape, but I can't be everywhere. If we place them in the cabinets, the stormtroopers might reach them. But if I put them in the ceiling, they won't have a chance."

Alex has to admit it’s a valid point, though she does tuck a few behind lab devices around the room, not fully ready to trust Astra no matter what Kara says. They work quickly, Alex constantly aware of the fact they aren't out of this yet.

"That's the last of them," she says, dropping one a trash container partially hidden from view by one of the lab's computing banks. "Now what?"

"Now, you and your friends get out of here," Astra says, looking resigned and determined.

"Fall back to the center," Alex calls over the comms after giving Astra a look, beginning to understand why Kara trusts her. Sacrificing herself to make sure the resistance fighters make it out is brave, and Alex will always honor something like that.

Kara and Vasquez are the first to reach where the hackers and Lucy are holed up, Vasquez throwing another pulse grenade down the hallway with impeccable aim to give them time to move. Maggie and James are a second behind, laying down covering fire as they walk backwards to join the others.

"I take it we have a plan?" James asks as he takes down another soldier, not turning his attention to the others. "And forgive me, but please tell me it doesn't involve taking Astra along with us."

"Shut your mouth," Alex growls before Kara has a chance. James doesn't know what he's talking about, can't understand how it must sound to Kara, but that doesn't mean Alex is willing to forgive him. "Astra's going to hold the Imperials off while we get free."

"I can't buy you much time, but I'll do what I can," Astra says, not looking bothered by James' mistrust.

"We'll move fast," Kara says, leaning heavily on Cat's side. The frail seeming woman doesn't look bothered by the weight, but Alex makes a mental note to trade places when they start down the escape corridor. Kara's armor alone would be a heavy load for anyone, add Kara's weight to it and Cat would be exhausted before they reach the end of the tunnel.

"Go, Little One," Astra says, reaching out to take Kara's hand in a way Alex recognizes as being a Kryptonian goodbye. "I'll hold them as long as I can."

"May the Force be with you," Kara says, the rest of the strike team echoing the sentiment as everyone realizes what Astra is offering them. Even James chimes in, his earlier distrust mostly gone.

"Be safe, and be happy," is all Astra says in response, though Alex can see the way she glances between Kara and Cat. "Now run."

And run they do, with Alex holding her sister up as they head down the tunnel, James in the lead with his rifle at the ready. Maggie brings up the rear, and Alex starts to hope they'll come through this alive, that they can actually make it out. If the tunnel does come out somewhere beyond the facility security then all they have to do is comm for J'onn and they'll be out of here in no time.

But no Mando ever lowers their guard completely, and doubly never while still in enemy territory. So when they turn a corner just before reaching the exit to the escape tunnel and find an Imperial colonel waiting for them with a small squad of stormtroopers, Alex is ready. She lets Cat take her place at Kara's side, motioning for her sister to stay back when Kara seems ready to move forward. They can handle one Imperial colonel.

"Lieutenant, what a surprise," Lord says, eyeing Lucy with a smirk Alex already can't stand. "And here I thought you were excited by your upcoming career opportunity."

"Go kiss a Hutt," Lucy snarls, good hand tightening on her blaster grip as she visibly fights the urge to swing it up and into position.

But she's evidently a good tactician, and knows better than to make any sort of offensive move the stormtroopers might take as an act of aggression. They might only be a small squad, not even a dozen men, but they're still close enough to take out at least the unarmored members of the strike team before the others can deal with them.

"What do you want, Lord?" Alex says, stepping forward and between the Imperial and her family. "We've already won, you can't stop us now."

"Oh, but I can," Lord says, looking far too smug for Alex's taste. "True, you've ruined my project, and I'm sure you left enough explosives back there to level the building. You Mandos and your love of big booms, after all. But if I hand you over to the Emperor, all will be forgiven. An escaped Jedi, a traitorous Imperial officer, a local Resistance leader, and the current thorn in the Empire's side? What's an unfinished superweapon compared to that?"

Alex just looks at him, thoroughly unimpressed. And if it weren't for the stormtroopers in position behind him, she's take off her helmet so he could see just how unimpressed she is. Everything Alex hated about first the Republic and then the Empire, it's all distilled into this one man in front of her.

"Be ready to move," she says over the strike team's comms, tilting her head as if studying Lord but in reality pulling attention to herself to cover any movement from the others. "You forgot something," she says over voice projection, doing her best to sound completely uninterested.

"And what's that?"

"You should never stand between a Mando and the way out." With that Alex gives a quick signal, and five troopers drop in an instant as blasts ring out, taking them by surprise. The others bring their rifles up and into position, but it's too late. Every shot they manage to take is blocked by Kara's blade or someone's armor, and in just a few seconds only the strike team and Colonel Lord are left.

"What are we going to do with him?" Cat asks, her rifle steady as she holds it trained on him.

"I think it’s up to Lucy, personally," Alex says, turning to the other woman. "What do you think? Should we kill him now?"

"I would like nothing more," Lucy starts, eyes burning with hatred as she looks at him. "But I don't think he's worth the blaster bolt. We'll leave him for the Emperor to deal with."

Now Lord looks scared, and Alex decides she likes Lucy's plan. The Emperor isn't known for leniency, and after losing the project and letting the strike team slip through his fingers Alex wouldn't bet on him lasting long at all.

"Well then, we'll at least let you be the one to cuff him," Alex offers, reaching in her pack for a set of binders. 

It’s a truce offering of the only kind Alex can offer, a sign Lucy has moved from the ‘inherently distrusted’ classification Alex holds most of the galaxy in. She hasn’t quite moved into real trust, but Lucy’s actions tonight have clearly managed to soften Alex’s views.

Lucy doesn’t say a word as she reaches for the binders, accepting them with a small nod before cuffing Lord.

“I think that’s our ride,” Kara says as J’onn pulls up, shepherding Lord towards the cargo hold. 

The security footage from the facility will already be enough to identify the rest of them, at least the ones without helmets and the armor of the others, but he hasn’t seen J’onn yet. They need to keep him from seeing any other locations or contacts if they’re really going to hand him over to the Emperor for punishment.

“You know, it might be safer for you three to get off planet after this,” Cat says when they settle in, looking at the Resistance members. “They have your faces now, and I know from experience it’s easier to stay hidden if you keep moving.”

“We’ll uh, we’ll need to think about it,” James says.

Alex is already mentally planning their escape, knowing the stakes are too high for any of them to refuse. The Empire knows their faces by now, even with James having a helmet that mostly covers his. The Resistance cell had survived so far by staying unnoticed, and having three of the main players on every Imperial watchlist would put a quick end to that.

“Why don’t we all discuss it later, after we’ve jettisoned the useless ballast,” she says, jerking a thumb towards the hold, watching Kara carefully.

There’s a sense of distance to her sister now, a sense that her focus is elsewhere. And when the ground rumbles lightly as a fireball burst from the facility behind them, her focus is replaced by a deep sorrow. It makes Alex hate the Empire a little bit more, knowing that once again they’ve taken something from Kara.

And maybe, maybe if Kara decides to stay by Cat’s side, maybe Alex will be fine with that. It’s a chance to strike back a little, a chance to repay some of the ever growing debt the universe owes them.

But that’s another decision for later. Right now they’ve made it out safely, and the rest is just details.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking one, maybe two more chapters at this point. There are still decisions to be made for each of the sisters in their lives and their relationships. So I've tentatively set the chapter total now, though it might definitely change depending on how the words and the story flows. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for sticking with me on this crazy journey, and I'm glad you seem to have enjoyed it as much as I have. Every single comment has brightened my day and even week.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy a very special Sanvers scene that I have been debating/planning since January for this fic. The specifics were never set in stone, but I've wanted to do something along these lines from the very beginning. I did not see it happening this way, but this story has surprised me from the very beginning.
> 
> I'm thinking there's just one chapter left. It'll wrap up the storyline and also give some resolution and closure to Cat/Kara, answering all those little questions Kara's been asking herself for a while now. (And of course I reserve the right to throw an epilogue on here because I don't want to let this story go...)

Alex can’t stop pacing when they reach the secondary safehouse J’onn had located for Cat weeks ago. They’d all agreed returning to their original base was too risky now. On the off chance the Imperials could backtrack their movements, it was better to be cautious.

But the new surroundings weren’t helping Alex any. She was too on edge to relax, always aware of their vulnerability. This safehouse didn’t feel safe, not the way the old one had. And while she has enough experience to know they can’t afford even a subconscious feeling of safety right now, she still misses it. It’s why she’s pacing, why she can’t stop despite the exhaustion dragging at her limbs.

“You should get some rest,” J’onn says quietly as she passes him once more. He gives a small nod towards the pallets lined up on the floor, the pallets where Maggie has already curled up for a few hours of sleep.

The setup at this safehouse is basic, a few mattresses and a small kitchen in a single room, with a ‘fresher through the door off to the side. It’s cheap and discreet, the neighbors just as desperate to avoid notice by the Empire as they are. Perfect for their current needs.

There’s no privacy, but that small loss is worth it for the safety offered. Kara and Cat don’t appear to mind, curled up together on one of the beds and clearly deeply asleep. They’d barely stayed awake to put a bacta bandage on Kara’s knee before falling asleep.

Alex knows she should follow their example and climb in next to Maggie, but she can’t get her brain to stop racing. Despite all her past battle experiences this had been different. This time she can’t shake the sense of fear she’d felt watching the people she loves fight alongside her.

“I’m not tired,” she lies, trying to avoid meeting J’onn’s eyes. “I’m not, I’m fine to stand watch with you, Buir.”

She knows he can tell how exhausted she is, but if she lies hard enough he might give in. She won’t be any help, but they can pretend a little while longer. And maybe by then the pacing will have helped.

Alex knows she’s lost when J’onn shakes his head, even before he opens his mouth. The kindness in his eyes doesn’t mask his resolve. “You’re ready to collapse, Alex. You’re no use on watch like this, and if an attack does come you’d be a danger to us all. You need to rest.”

There’s no fighting the care in his voice, no matter how much Alex wishes she could. But she knows her father well enough to recognize when to give in. She can either listen to him and lie down without complaint, or she can find out if he’s willing to sedate her so she sleeps anyway. Given the current threat levels and the need for well rested soldiers, he might.

“Ad’ika, I only want you to be safe. And right now, safe means well-rested. Go lie down, hold Maggie. Let yourself believe we’re all here and okay.”

Somehow he knows exactly what to say to ease her fears, and Alex nods once before obeying. It’s harder to stop her feet from moving than she thinks is fair, but once she’s stumbled to the mattress and slid in next to Maggie her exhaustion hits like a wave.

“Just sleep,” Maggie whispers, rousing slightly as Alex jostles her. “We’ll all be here when you wake up.”

That promise, combined with the warmth of Maggie’s arm sliding over her waist to hold her close, is the last thing Alex needs to finally unwind and let sleep take her.

Tomorrow is soon enough to deal with anything else.

***

“Obviously we need to be off planet sooner rather than later,” Maggie is saying as Alex wakes. She’s talking quietly, still sitting next to where Alex is lying, and Alex feels a rush of love when she realizes Maggie hadn’t left her side. Just like she’d promised.

The response is too quiet for Alex to pick up, but she can tell Cat is disagreeing with Maggie’s statement. Even still half asleep, Alex is thrown by the uncharacteristic response from the usually cautious woman. After the way their infiltration had gone, there’s no benefit to hanging around for the Imperials to find them.

She almost sits up to join the conversation, but Maggie’s fingers are combing slowly through her hair and Alex can’t quite bring herself to give the sensation up quite yet. There have been few enough moments of peace, and she wants to hold onto this one as long as she can.

“I know moving now is risky, but staying is riskier. If it were only the stormies we had to worry about it’d be one thing. But the Empire has a confirmed Jedi sighting here. You really think they won’t send in the hunters? Every mercenary on this side of the galaxy is probably on their way to Kuat, not to mention the Intelligence spooks.”

The mention of the forces currently massing against them is enough to shake Alex out of her pleasant doze, and she sits up quickly at the realization. They can’t stay on Kuat, they need to get off planet now, one way or another. At this point, she’ll capture a Star Destroyer if that’s what it takes.

“Hey, calm down,” Maggie says instantly. Her arms are around Alex’s shoulders as soon as she’s upright, holding her close and keeping her from descending into a full, unreasoning panic.

“Alex, we haven’t seen any sign of unusual Imperial reaction yet, I promise.” Kara’s words combined with Maggie’s solid comfort help keep Alex grounded, but she still itches with the need to get away from here.

“Can someone at least explain why we aren’t already heading for the ship so M’gann can get us out of here?” she asks instead, pulling away from Maggie just far enough to take in the rest of the room’s occupants.

Winn is in the corner, bent over a datapad and ignoring the rest of the room. James, Lucy, and Vasquez are deep in a conversation of their own, and Alex can tell they’re discussing whether to go with the off worlders when they leave or stay behind and take their chances. J’onn has curled up on mattress of his own, standing down after being on watch all night.

Kara and Cat are at a small table off to the side of the room, Kara back in her armor save for the knee plate around her injured leg. It’s still strange seeing her out of civilian clothes, but somehow Kara looks more at home in the beskar suit than she ever has before. There’s an ease to her posture Alex has never seen, as if Kara has stopped warring with herself and her various identities.

For better or worse, by risking her life and taking on the Empire, Kara has realized who she is. And there’s no going back to hiding now.

“They’ll be on high alert for anyone trying to escape,” Cat explains, looking slightly irritated at being questioned. “We might make it through, but if they notice the slightest problem with our cover they could impound the ship and tear it apart. Smuggling compartments won’t save us from that.”

“So we make sure to have our story straight, and we all become very good friends until we’re out of Imperial airspace,” Maggie argues, waving her hands to encompass the group. “If we trash the equipment and anything we don’t absolutely need, we can fit everyone. Alex and I have suits graded to withstand full immersion, we can hide in the water tanks. Not ideal, but they won’t be checking there and the water plus our suits will mask any readings from their helmet sensors.”

“That would leave Kara and Cat squeezed into one of the compartments, James and Vasquez into another, and Winn and Lucy in the third. Puts everyone who can’t shapeshift under cover, and we can fit any packs around them. Should be enough to keep us safe,” Alex says, continuing Maggie’s thought process.

“And it would be safer to manage when we aren’t dealing with forces on high alert,” Cat fires back. “A single stray sensor reading could give us away while they’re searching for anything out of the ordinary.”

Alex almost wants to go back to sleep, to slip back into peaceful ignorance of their situation. She can see Cat’s point, but she wants to be off of this planet and somewhere at least halfway safe. Somewhere without Imperial patrols on every street, patrols looking for them specifically. There doesn’t seem to be a right answer, and turning her back on the whole mess for a few more hours is more tempting than Alex wants to admit.

“Okay, let’s think about this,” she says instead. “Cat, how long would you say they’ll keep the increased checks up?”

The Resistance leader doesn’t respond immediately, obviously giving the question her full consideration. It’s one of the things Alex had noticed about her first off, the willingness to at least listen when someone could have information or an insight she doesn’t. When she thinks of how long Cat has evaded the Empire, she wonders how much that extra level of respect has to do with it.

From what she’s seen on this mission, Alex thinks the answer might be a lot.

“It depends what troops we’re dealing with,” she says eventually, reaching for her datapad to flip through a few screens. “The best legions in the Empire could maintain that level of determination for months at a time, and I agree with Maggie we can’t stay in one place for so long. But if we aren’t dealing with the best but rather their second tier soldiers, a week or two should do it.”

Alex can’t bring herself to be optimistic, not on a planet with Kuat’s strategic importance. With the shipyards in orbit, the Empire would be foolish to station substandard troops here. Their officers might not be the best and brightest of the Imperial forces if Lord is anything to go by, but that won’t stop a stormtrooper from noticing something out of the ordinary on a sweep.

“I could always use the Force to direct attention away from our hiding places,” Kara points out as she reads over Cat’s shoulder. “Stormtrooper clones have strong minds, but they’re also genetically predispositioned to obey, especially the regular forces. The old commandos were a different story, but the main army? From the time they were old enough to stand they were trained to follow orders without question. That makes them vulnerable to mind influence.”

Alex knows the look of distaste she can’t quash is mirrored on the faces of everyone else in the room, but she doesn’t say anything. Kara had been a child during the war, one with no say in what the Republic chose to do. She can’t be blamed for the decision to utilize a clone army with no choice in the matter, an army that fought and died without a voice in their own life.

It’s a repellant thought to any Mandalorian, and from the looks the others are trying to hide it’s just as terrible to them.

“You can’t use the Force,” Maggie points out, glossing over the uncomfortable moment before it turns awkward. “If there are any other Intelligence types here, or on their way, they might pick up on your Force usage and track us that way.”

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Kara says, looking pained.

Alex knows it’s because she’s realizing Astra might not be the only one of her old friends captured and turned by the Empire. The thought there might be others might have survived only to find survival was worse than death had to hurt, and Alex ached for her sister.

But it also firmed her resolve to keep that from happening here. Kara would not lose anyone else, and she would not lose herself either. The rest of the galaxy could burn for all she cared, but Kara should never have to suffer again.

“We can wait a week or so, then reassess the security levels and risks,” Alex offers, looking to Cat and trying to keep the conversation moving so Kara doesn’t let those emotions overtake her. “At very least, a week should get us past the worst of the danger, and if it’s still too much to chance we can relocate to another safehouse, keep moving even if we can’t get off planet.”

“That sounds like an acceptable compromise,” Cat says thoughtfully, looking at Maggie to see if the other Mandalorian has any disagreement.

“I agree,” Maggie says rather than argue. “I’d still rather be off planet now, but a week shouldn’t be too dangerous for us.”

Alex feels exactly the same way, but she knows better than to let personal desires guide her decisions. Maggie does as well, even if her desire to get off planet was based less in emotion than Alex’s. She’s removed enough from the situation to avoid Alex’s all-consuming need to protect Kara, her protests to sticking around almost certainly rooted in more pragmatic reasoning than anything Alex is capable of right now.

“That gives you three a week to decide,” Cat says, turning to look at the Kuati Resistance members and bring them into the discussion. “Personally, I think you’d be much safer away from Kuat, but this is your decision to make.”

“It’s a tough decision to make,” Lucy says as James and Vasquez nod their agreement. “I’m all for leaving, but then I have nothing tying me here, and every reason to leave.”

“Vasquez and I though, we have troops who depend on us. It’s harder to drop everything and walk away.” James looks genuinely conflicted, and Alex feels her respect for him rise a bit. He obviously cares about the people who count on him, enough that he’s willing to consider what would almost certainly be a death sentence to avoid abandoning them.

Cat nods her understanding, not appearing bothered by the hesitation. “As I said, it’s your choice, and I do know you have responsibilities here. But remember, sometimes it’s better to walk away than let yourself put others at risk.”

That earns another nod from the Resistance fighters, a thoughtful look on both their faces. Alex hopes they agree to escape with the others whatever they decide to do afterwards. They’ve both risked their lives on this mission, both worked to protect Kara, and that goes a long way with Alex. They’d both probably argue they were trying to protect the galaxy and not Kara specifically, but Alex doesn’t care about the distinction.

“Uh, guys? Not to ruin the moment, but we might need to change our plans,” Winn breaks into the conversation, and every eye turns to look at him.

He’s paler than Alex has ever seen him, his skin almost transparent as he stares down at his datapad in horror. Whatever he’s staring at, it’s more frightening than taking on an entire Imperial garrison defending a top secret doomsday weapon.

“Winn, what is it?” Cat asks when he doesn’t continue.

His mouth moves silently for a few moments before he can speak, looking up at them all with a wild look in his eyes, visibly trembling.

“The new garrison commander just received a personal message from Emperor Palpatine. Vader is on his way to Kuat, he’ll arrive within the week.”

***

The calm discussion disappears after that news, replaced by an argument loud enough Alex wonders if the noise dampeners will be enough to keep the neighbors from hearing. Even in a neighborhood like this where love for the Empire is nonexistent and no one wants to attract attention, the lure of money can be a powerful motivator.

Cat is still urging caution, Kara on her side despite the fear Alex can see beneath her attempts to hide it. But Alex doesn’t want to hear about caution and the importance of thinking plans through completely. She wants to be on a ship heading out of the system _now_.

It doesn’t take long for the volume to wake J’onn, and when he’s heard enough of the argument to provide context he jumps in himself. Years of battlefield experience give him the ability to remain calm in face of devastating news, and years of training new recruits gives the skills to command attention and obedience.

“Vader coming changes things,” he says, fixing Cat with a stern glare. Alex has had the same look sent her way many times over the years, and she applauds Cat for not shrinking back and giving in immediately. “Whatever rumors are true about the man, it’s a fact he is immensely skilled at ferreting out hiding Jedi. If Kara is still on Kuat when he arrives, he will almost certainly find her.”

Alex feels sick to her stomach at the words, knowing they have to hurt her father to say no matter how stoic he seems. J’onn has protected them for years, risked his own life and safety to keep them hidden and alive. He’s been their father for longer than they’d acknowledged the fact, and he’s lost enough family in his life to know how much it would hurt to lose another child.

“We don’t know that,” Cat says firmly, reaching out a hand to take Kara’s. “We could hide, go to ground or underground if need be. We could be anywhere on Kuat, there’s no way to guarantee he would find her from halfway across the planet. If we rush to get offworld when the Imperials are watching this closely, that’s where we’re most likely to be caught.”

“Normally I’d agree with you, but Vader is not a normal Imperial. Mandalorians hear more than even you about this man. His skills cannot be underestimated. I want all of us to be safe as much as you do, but trust me when I say staying on Kuat until he arrives is not the way to keep us alive.”

J’onn is so utterly certain even Cat isn’t immune. She still looks ready to argue, but with another glance at Kara then around the room she gives in. “We’d better have a damn good plan at least.”

“We’ll have a plan,” Alex assures her, already plotting out the best way to avoid detection. “The first thing we need is a rock solid cover story for J’onn and M’gann, and disguises to match. We also need a way on ship without being seen, which means boarding somewhere other than a spaceport.”

“Long term ship storage facility,” Kara offers. “We have M’gann check in somewhere as if she’s staying for a while, maybe as a bodyguard for some minor noblewoman. If Winn can find a location with more than one ship of the same class and make sure we leave when there’s a completely different crew on shift, no one should notice until we’re away, especially if he can hack the records to show the ship had been there for a few months.”

“And here I thought you’d want something hard,” Winn says. His voice shakes despite the attempt at bravado, but Alex is impressed by how well he’s recovering from the earlier terror.

Having something concrete to occupy his attention probably has something to do with it, and Alex knows it’s exactly what the rest of them need as well. They’ll need to pack up any essential gear into the smallest packs possible, then dispose of anything left over. Anything that could possibly give the Empire a clue as to their whereabouts will need destroyed completely.

Afterwards they’ll need to fill the cargo hold with whatever supplies are needed for J’onn and M’gann’s story. The more supporting evidence they have, the less likely there will be anything to notice on inspection.

And they have only a few days to do it all.

“Okay, Winn you keep focusing on that. Try to find someplace near a large number of minor estates, but at least two hours from the main cities if possible. Cat, you and Kara focus on developing a cover story for J’onn and come up with a list of things they’ll need. Buir, you contact M’gann and make sure she’s up for all of this and ready to help with anything we might need.”

Alex’s mind is already rushing through the logistics of everything they’ll need to do if they want a chance at pulling this off. It seems impossible, but Alex isn’t going to give up now. They can do this, she knows they can.

“I assume that leaves you and I packing and sorting?” Maggie asks, leaning closer to Alex’s side. “And what about everyone else?”

“Everyone else is going to take the next thirty minutes to make a final decision whether they’re coming along,” Alex says firmly. She feels bad asking them to make such a major decision on such short notice but they don’t have time to wait anymore.

If any of the three Resistance fighters decide to stay, they need out of this safehouse sooner rather than later. The longer they stay around the more they’ll know about any escape plans, and the more danger they’ll pose if they’re captured.

James stirs uneasily in his chair, but Alex doesn’t waver. “That’s not a lot of time to make a decision like this,” he starts, trailing off when Alex stares at him.

“They need to know now so they can plan,” Lucy points out, looking at Alex with the same direct gaze. “I’m in. If you’re willing to take a former Imperial officer along with you, I’m willing to risk it right along with you. Just tell me what you want me to help with.”

It takes Alex all of two seconds to shove her lingering reservations to the side and nod at Lucy. She’s earned Alex’s trust by this point, and between Winn and Kara if she tries to double cross the group they should catch it.

“You can help Winn for now,” Alex decides. “You have the best knowledge of the planet and any potential flaws in Imperial security.”

“That leaves the two of you,” Cat jumps in, looking at James and Vasquez with a measured look. There isn’t the same challenge as Alex had levelled at them, but it’s still a gaze that demands response. “You’ve both proven resourceful. And whether either of you want to help me in the future or not, I’d hate to see you hurt due to your involvement in this mission.”

“Your offer means a lot, but we have people counting on us,” Vasquez points out, looking conflicted. “Walking away might save us, but where does that leave them?”

“Probably safer than if you stayed.” Her words are blunt, but Alex is done pulling punches. They need a decision, and they need it now. “The Empire has _your_ faces, not your troops. You go back, and you compromise their anonymity. If there isn’t anyone skilled enough to take over the cell in your absence, then have them stand down until there is.”

Strategic disappearance. Go to ground to avoid the risk. Scatter your forces so the enemy can’t strike at you all. _Baslan shev’la._ Sometimes hiding today is the only way to keep the fight alive for the future.

It’s how Mandalorians have operated and survived in impossible situations for millennia, and after so many years there has to be some merit to the strategy. You can’t smash mercury, and you can’t destroy an army that doesn’t exist.

James and Vasquez look at each other for a long moment before Vasquez shrugs. She doesn’t look happy about it, but apparently they’ve reached a decision.

“We’ll take your offer. We’ll need a way to get a message to our team though.”

“I can take one when I make contact with M’gann,” J’onn offers, looking to Alex for confirmation. She’s somehow become the leader of this escape attempt, apparently.

“That works,” she decides, making a quick decision as the reality of the situation hits her. “You guys get started on the plans so far. Maggie, can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure thing, Danvers,” Maggie says, standing easily and reaching a hand down to help Alex join her.

There isn’t much privacy in such a small dwelling, but Alex needs to get this out now. They’re planning to sneak past some of the Empire’s best troops, on one of the most heavily defended planets in the galaxy. There are a thousand things that could go wrong, and Alex wants to make sure the things she needs to say are said before she doesn’t have another chance.

Maggie follows her into the small ‘fresher without question, shutting the door behind her and leaning against it as she waits for Alex to start.

Except now that they’re alone, or as alone as they can be right now, Alex doesn’t know where to begin.

And of course Maggie is every bit as patient and understanding as she’s been since they first met, waiting for Alex to say something, anything to break the silence. She’s always known when to push and when to hold back, and somehow she knows Alex needs a moment to gather herself.

“How are you so perfect?” Alex ends up blurting out as she considers how well Maggie knows her. How easily she manages to be exactly what Alex needs all the time.

Even her gentle laugh at the way Alex blurts it out is perfect, no hint of mocking. Full of kindness and all sorts of deeper emotions that make Alex feel at home even on a strange and hostile planet with every Imperial on watch for them.

“I’m hardly perfect, Alex,” she says with a wide smile, but Alex shakes her head in disbelief. “No, babe, I promise. I’m not anywhere close. I just do my best to be the best I can be.”

“Perfect or not, you’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.”

With anyone else Alex might be guilty she can’t say they’re _the_ best, but Maggie knows her. She’s always known how much Alex gives to her family, how much of her identity came from protecting Kara. The bond between the sisters is stronger than anything else in either of their lives, and it always will be.

“And Maggie,” she continues when Maggie keeps smiling encouragingly, “I want to be optimistic about our chances with this. But our plan is they won’t catch us in the water tanks. It’s not the best plan we’ve ever come up with.”

“We can do this, Alex.” The words are calm, sure, exactly what Alex needs right now. She’s trying to believe, but it’s hard. Alex has lost too much to believe everything will always be fine.

But having Maggie standing there, at least pretending she’s utterly confident about their chances, that’s everything Alex needs to start believing it herself.

“We can,” she agrees, internalizing the words and hoping they’ll take root. “But if we don’t, if something goes wrong, I don’t want to die without saying this.”

“You can’t think that way,” Maggie says instantly, pushing away from the door and moving to stand directly in front of Alex. “You can’t let yourself think the worst, or it’ll tear at you. We _can_ do this Alex. We can and we will. There’s no other option here, okay?”

“We both know there is,” Alex disagrees, though there’s no heat in her words. She’s not pessimistic, not assuming things will go wrong. She’s just a realist at heart. She knows what could happen and she isn’t going to pretend it isn’t a possibility. “But whatever happens, Maggie, whether we make it out or not. I don’t want to face that chance without telling you how much I love you.”

She leans forward for a kiss as she finishes speaking, taking advantage of Maggie’s new closeness to sink into a more physical reassurance. Whatever happens over this next week, they have this time together at least. They have this moment, and any number of moments still to come.

When they pull back, Alex holds her arm out in the traditional Mandalorian greeting, waiting for Maggie to clasp her forearm in a firm hold. It’s meant to show you have the strength to pull the other up and hold them safe, and it’s become something more than that. It’s become the traditional grasp for a Mandalorian marriage contract.

She can see the moment Maggie understands what she’s asking. Her eyes widen and she sucks in a startled breath, looking up and into Alex’s eyes as if searching for answers to questions she doesn’t know how to voice.

Whatever Maggie sees there Alex may never know, but whatever it is has her reaching out, grasping Alex’s forearm in a grip so tight Alex wonders if she’ll end up feeling it for hours. She wouldn’t mind if she did. She already wants to remember every second of this for the rest of her life.

They start speaking in unison, totally in sync with the other as their gazes never waver.

_“Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar’tome, mhi me’dinui an, mhi ba’juri verde.”_

Four lines. That’s all it takes to rewrite the universe. All it takes to bind them together, in this life and the next.

All it takes to pledge their lives together. To give Alex something she’d never thought she’d have.

Whatever else happens, the universe will know how they feel about each other.

The universe will know, but they already do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you yell at me about location on this one, that is literally the only privacy available in the place. It's a small studio apartment and stepping outside might reveal their presence to the Empire.
> 
> Also, Mandalorians typically marry at around 16. So they marry young, and they get right to the point in the ceremony. They don't like to hang around and take longer than they need to say what needs to be said.


	25. Chapter 25

“I thought this was cramped when I was stuck in here alone," Cat mutters, voice barely above a whisper. If everything is on schedule they're still more than half an hour away from inspection, but old habits die hard and it's better to be safe than sorry.

And Kara has to admit she does have a point. There isn't a lot of room in the compartment to begin with, and Kara is in full armor in case they have to burst out fighting. The only good thing is the fact the compartments are built into the walls and not the floor plating, meaning Kara can still be between Cat and danger without the risk of crushing the woman underneath her weight.

Though as Kara considers their current situation, she finds another positive to the arrangement. Not only are they in complete privacy beyond anything they've had so far on Kuat, but she isn't trapped in here alone for the entire escape attempt.

It had been maddening on the way in, being stuck in a tiny compartment with nothing to distract her. Her latest encounter with clone troopers hasn't done anything to quell her instinctive reaction to feeling their presences in the Force, and even with her senses pulled in as much as possible there's no way to block them out completely.

With Cat right there with her, even if they can't talk without risking detection, Kara has something else to focus on. She can feel the strength of Cat's frame against her, can almost imagine the warmth that would sink into her from their contact if there weren't plates of beskar between them.

"At least we aren't in the water tank," she whispers back, shuddering a little as she imagines that one. In proper scuba armor it would be no big deal, but regular Mandalorian armor isn't usually designed for immersion. It's built strong enough that Kara has no real misgivings about trusting Maggie and Alex will be okay, but it's not something she would choose for herself if there were any other way.

"Very true," Cat agrees dryly. "Has anyone ever told you Mandalorians you're as mad as a box of chags?"

"I think that's the unofficial Mandalorian motto, actually."

The banter, even as quiet and muted as it has to be, helps. M'gann will walk past their hiding spots with heavy footfalls when they reach the exit station and then they'll stay completely silent until they get the all clear, but until then they can still have this.

"I'm sure they'll be okay," Cat says after a moment of silence, clearly seeing how worried Kara is no matter how she's trying to hide it. "And it really is the best place for them right now."

"I know." Kara does know, but that doesn't make it easier. She just wants her family to be okay, all of them. And Maggie is family now, even if Alex hasn't told any of them yet.

It's hard to hide anything in a small space with no privacy, especially when you're trying to hide from someone with Force senses who knows you better than anyone else in the galaxy. Kara knows why Alex had needed to talk to Maggie away from the rest of them, and she doesn't want to see either of them hurt before they can celebrate.

She has a new sister now, that's worth taking time to be thankful for.

"Have you thought any more about what you want to do, once we get off Kuat alive?" From the moment they'd decided getting off planet needed to happen sooner rather than later, despite the challenges posed by increased security, Cat hadn't wavered in her belief that they could pull it off.

True, Kara could sense the worry and doubt she was keeping well hidden. But no one else had that edge, and Cat wasn't the kind of person to show fear. Not to her enemies, and not to her allies.

No, from the moment she'd given in Cat had been quietly insistent that they would make it off Kuat without problem. Through every plan, every stumbling block, every puzzle they had to solve, Cat had been the one to keep the team's hopes up. Cat had been the one to look beyond the week ahead and to the future beyond their escape.

There hadn't been much time for plans after they made it off Kuat, nothing in detail other than heading to Concord Dawn first rather than directly back to Mandalore. There hadn't been time to really discuss what Kara wanted to do next, whether she would go back to hiding or keep fighting.

But that didn't mean Kara hadn't been thinking about it. Even without Cat asking before this she'd known there was a choice to be made. She could choose relative safety back on Mandalore, hiding on J'onn's land and hoping the Empire never noticed her. Or she could fight at Cat's side, doing her best to make a difference in the galaxy for as long as they could.

In the end, it hadn't been much of a choice. Not when she'd seen how much of a difference their small force could actually make. As long as Cat was willing to keep fighting, as long as there was charge left in her blaster and her lightsaber, Kara would fight by her side.

"I suppose I'll be going wherever you do," Kara says, wishing she could take her helmet off for this moment. It feels wrong, facing Cat with the expressionless mask of her armor rather than the honest sincerity in her eyes. "You said it yourself, this family of ours would make a great Resistance cell."

"You really think the others will all join us? I can see J'onn coming along to protect you, but Alex and Maggie just got married, what if they want time to enjoy that before diving headfirst into danger again?"

"Wait, how do you know they got married?" Kara asks in surprise. "They didn't tell you, did they?"

She's trying hard to keep from being offended at the thought Alex might tell someone else first, but it's hard. The sisters are close, and with the notable exception of Kara planning to stay on Kuat without Alex, they tell each other everything first.

"No, she didn't tell me," Cat says soothingly, making Kara think she might not have been as successful at hiding her reaction as she'd hoped. "I've told you before, Kara, I know people. I know how to read them, and the way those two feel about each other isn't exactly difficult to see."

"Oh," Kara says, slightly embarrassed. "Well, even if they did just get married, I don't see Alex letting me go off on a dangerous mission without her. And they don't have kids yet, so I don't see Maggie staying behind either. Besides, you know Mandos by now. Explosions make for a great honeymoon."

Cat nearly bursts out laughing at that, Kara can feel the way her shoulders shake. But the telltale thuds of heavy boots passing by their hiding place signal their approach to the security checkpoint, and suddenly there's no sense of levity to be found.

Instead they're holding as still as they possibly can, not wanting to let out a single errant vibration that a sharp stormtrooper might notice. Their only chance at getting offworld is stealth, and any tiny mistake can jeopardize the entire attempt.

The search takes far longer this time than it had on entry, and by the end Kara is fighting to keep still every time a clone presence passes their hiding place. Her Force senses are pulled in as far as she can, but the determination and utter focus from the stormtroopers still sends a chill down her spine every time the edges of her sensitivity pick them up.

The urge to reach out and cloud their minds is almost overwhelming, but greater than that is the fear doing so will reveal her presence to some Imperial Intelligence agent waiting just out of sight, hoping she'll slip up. The thought of facing another Force user, perhaps one that had studied alongside her at the Temple, keeps her from giving in.

She's already faced one ghost from her past on this trip, Kara doesn't think she's strong enough to face another. And that's without such a mistake meaning certain death for her friends and family hiding in their own compartments and hoping to make it past security alive.

In the end it takes close to an hour before the Imperials deem the ship secure and Kara feels the hum beneath her booted feet strengthen as the engines lift them to low orbit and out into the security space represents.

Against all odds, they'd made it.

***

“So, what’s the plan now?” Kara asks as they settle into their room in the small farmhouse J’onn keeps on Concord Dawn in case of emergencies.

Most active Mandalorian mercenaries do something similar if they can afford it. Even if the need for such a hideout never arises it’s better to be prepared. The walls are discreetly reinforced with durasteel plating, the pantry is fully stocked with enough emergency rations to feed their group for a month, and the armory in the basement has enough munitions to hold off a small army for a week.

On a planet with hundreds of these hideouts tucked away in the countryside, there’s nothing to stand out. Nothing for the Empire to track, everything was paid for using untraceable credits. And with the added advantage of J’onn’s shapeshifting abilities, there isn’t anyone who could tie him to the place even if the Empire had seen his face.

“We stay hidden for at least a month if possible,” Cat says, checking their personal bags with a critical eye. “Winn can hack into the Imperial systems from anywhere, so the remote location isn’t an issue there. And Concord Dawn is underpopulated enough that even being in the Mandalore sector won’t increase our risks too much. The Empire does what, one patrol a month here?”

“Something like that.”

With a population of only a few million on planet and most of the population being farmers, the Empire didn’t seem to care too much about the world beyond making sure there were no signs of growing rebellions hiding in the wilderness. Kara would be surprised if the monthly patrol was anything more than a flyover, and if the official Imperial presence was more than a few guards at the planet’s Imperial clerk’s office away in the capitol.

“Then we should be safe enough here while we rest and recuperate. We’ll see how many of the others want to help with whatever comes next, and then we’ll pick a target.” Cat sounds completely familiar with the process, and Kara realizes suddenly how long she’s been doing this.

She’d known, logically, that Cat had been on the run for years. That isn’t a surprise. But there’s something about seeing her in action that makes it real. This is Cat’s life now, and those few months in between missions have probably been the only times she can afford to relax even the tiniest amount.

“And in the meantime, maybe we take turns worrying about what the Empire is doing?” Kara presses, turning away from where she’s been storing their nonessential clothing to pull Cat in close. “We can let James and his group stand watch while we celebrate Alex and Maggie’s marriage, for instance. And we can all rotate after that so that our rest is actually a rest.”

“Maybe we can take some of that time to get to know each other a little better,” Cat says, not arguing the way Kara had expected her to.  “We jumped from pretending into whatever this is without taking much time for that step.”

“I’d like that.”

***

“Kara definitely knows,” Alex says as she pulls Maggie close. They hadn’t bothered to unpack yet, just fallen into bed as soon as their armor was off. Neither had relaxed much at all on the flight to Concord Dawn, not even while “safely” in hyperspace.

Interdictor cruisers were still rare and only seen with a few of the strongest fleets, but that didn’t mean the threat they posed could be ignored. Logically they knew a single Jedi wouldn’t warrant pursuit by an entire Imperial fleet. Not when the Resistance groups across the galaxy were slowly building up supplies and even capital ships in some sectors.

Even the fact a Jedi had teamed up with the most wanted Resistance leader in the galaxy wouldn’t justify taking an entire fleet out of commission. Not when there were all those old cells causing trouble everywhere the Empire turned. But even knowing that couldn’t erase a lifetime of caution and training.

Though watches had officially been traded around the crew to allow everyone use of the limited bunks, Maggie and Alex had been constantly on alert. During their “off” hours they’d traded sleeping for a few hours at a time, both still in full armor.

Alex knows Maggie had only stayed so on edge to help ease her concerns. It was a sign of support that somehow still surprised Alex every time she thought of it. They’d been married for two weeks now, and she was still getting used to how that felt. Not just the feeling of rightness that came every time she thought of Maggie as her wife, not just the feeling of love every time they so much as looked at each other.

Those feelings were deeper than they’d been before, but there was more to it than that. There was an unquestioning level of support. No matter how overprotective and paranoid Alex was being on the way back to Mandalore, Maggie had gone along with it. And if she’d been taking it to dangerous levels Alex knows Maggie would have stepped in and talked her down.

“I told you she’d figure it out,” Maggie points out as she relaxes into Alex’s hold with a content sigh. “You know they all know, right? J’onn keeps giving me a warm look, which means M’gann knows too. And Cat doesn’t miss a thing, I’d put my creds on her knowing as soon as you asked.”

Alex sighs but nods. Maggie is right. Their family knows them too well, only the Kuati rebels might have missed the new development. The only real surprise is that they haven’t been ambushed with a celebration party already.

“Should we beat them to it and throw the party before they can?” Near as Alex can tell they probably have a week at most before Kara breaks, maybe two if Cat keeps her in check. And J’onn won’t give them much longer than that either, not when he’s seen Maggie as almost another daughter for years.

“Maybe we can get a message out, get my family here too. They should be warned anyway. I know we took the clan sigils off our armor, but that doesn’t mean the Empire won’t figure out who we are.” Maggie sounds worried, and Alex curses under her breath. She hadn’t even considered that possibility, and suddenly she feels like a terrible person, a horrible wife.

The moment Alex tenses, ashamed of herself, Maggie reaches out and runs a soothing hand along her back. “Hey, no. I’m sure they’re fine, Alex. They’re in the middle of a bunch of Mandalorians, and you know the Empire doesn’t want to make trouble with us. They should just know what’s going on in case my Buir wants to take a job off planet. He’s been mostly focused on the farm lately, but you never know with him.”

“I mean, we should probably give him his ship back anyway,” Alex forces out, trying to believe Maggie’s reassurances.

“At least we didn’t get into a firefight with it,” Maggie teases, lightening the mood. “He’d never forgive us for that. “And I’m sure with J’onn’s connections and Cat’s money we can get a new ship, one better suited to smuggling us on and off Imperial planets.”

“I- what?” Alex stutters, craning her head to look at Maggie in surprise.

“Oh, come on. I know there’s no way you’re leaving Kara’s side if she goes with Cat, and I know Kara is going to go with her. And if you’re following along while they take on the Empire, then like hell am I waiting behind.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to,” Alex denies instantly. “I wouldn’t want you anywhere but by my side, Maggie. But we haven’t talked about it, and I didn’t want to make a decision for us both.”

“Alex, I knew when I married you that it meant following your sister across the galaxy. And even if we weren’t married, you really think I’m gonna let you get into a fight without me to watch your back?”

Not for the first time, not even for the first time since they’d gotten married, Alex wonders how Maggie had ever fallen for her. It was as if the universe was apologizing for the pain of her childhood by giving her happiness now.

***

Kara has to fight to keep her face from immediately breaking into a wide smile when Alex announces she and Maggie have some news for the family. From the fond look Cat sends her way, she’s fairly certain everyone can see right through the act, but she doesn’t care. Alex and Maggie should still have this moment even if everyone else already does know. Kara won’t take their chance to announce the marriage from them.

Of course, as soon as the words leave Alex’s mouth Kara is up and out of her seat to pull her sister into a tight hug. Of all the outcomes for their lives she could have imagined, reality has to be better than any of them. Sure the Empire is still out there and hunting them, but their family is together.

For this moment in time, they’re safe and happy, all together to enjoy this. Alex has found a wife, someone to share her life with. For years Kara had feared she never would. That the level of devotion Alex had for the well-being of everyone else would overshadow her own need for companionship and love.

But she’s been proven wrong, and Kara couldn’t be happier. That alone would’ve been enough to make everything perfect.

The fact that Kara has someone of her own just makes the night sweeter. True, she and Cat aren’t married. Kara isn’t sure whether they ever will be, the Force offers no hints when she tries to reach out. But it doesn’t matter. Vows or no vows, she already loves Cat. Already knows that she’ll continue to fall more and more in love with the woman with every day that passes.

“I’m so happy for you,” Kara says as she finally pulls back from the embrace, eyes filling with tears. “This is everything I’ve always wanted for you, Alex.”

“Welcome to the family,” J’onn says as he stands, pulling all three of the women into a hug. “After I lost my first family, I never thought I would have such wonderful daughters again. I’m glad you’ve all decided to prove me wrong.”

“Maybe soon you’ll have four of us,” Alex teases, poking Kara in the side as they all relax into the embrace.

“Careful, Alex, or we won’t tell you if or when that happens. I believe you once threatened your sister with the very same thing?” Cat doesn’t look panicked or upset by the teasing, but she’s clearly learned that some things need cut off at the start before they grow too entrenched to be rooted out. Mandalorian humor, much like an invading army, is definitely one such thing.

“Yeah, Alex,” Kara agrees as she pulls back from J’onn to stand with an arm around Cat instead. “Besides, tonight is about you. We have a wedding to celebrate.”

James graciously offers to stand watch while the rest celebrate, with Winn retiring quickly after to keep an eye on his comm setup. Both are somewhat the outsiders of the group, and Kara hopes they’ll settle in quickly.

It has to be a shock for Winn, going from having only Cat around to suddenly being thrust in the middle of a family of rambunctious Mandalorians. It would be an adjustment for anyone, but for someone as quiet and delicate as the pale Omwati, it has to be tough.

James, Kara is sure won’t have any trouble. He’s still reeling a little from being forced of Kuat, but he’ll find his balance. With an actually decent set of armor, he should fit right in amongst the Mandalorians. It’ll just take some time, and until then Kara is guiltily happy he’s still feeling separate enough from the group to stand watch without feeling like he’s missing out.

Lucy and Vasquez have hit it off astoundingly well, and Kara would put creds on the pair beating Cat and herself to any marriage. They are astoundingly alike. Kara had quickly lost track of the times she’d walked in on them in quiet conversation, seemingly ignoring the rest of the crew. They haven’t made any announcements and Kara can tell they’re taking it slow, but she can feel the emotions swirling between them. They’d be a good match, and Kara wishes them well, whether they stay with Cat’s team or go out on their own.

The party is fairly quiet, no one comfortable with letting their guards down enough to really let loose. Better to just enjoy a relaxing night with friends and family without constant worry hanging over their heads for the first time since taking off for Kuat. James and Winn will both know if something goes wrong in plenty of time to warn the others, there’s no harm in taking the night off.

“They’re good together,” Cat says, curling into Kara’s side where they sit watching the others dance. It’s hard to tell whether she means Alex and Maggie or Vasquez and Lucy, but either way Kara agrees.

“I think ‘good together’ is going around,” Kara agrees, pulling Cat close. “I’m glad everyone has a chance to be happy.”

“It’s good, taking this time to let ourselves relax. We can take a week or two off, then worry about where to go after this.” Kara isn’t surprised the Resistance leader is already thinking about what comes next.

“Well first we need to get back to Mandalore, get J’onn’s ship up and functional. We can’t keep using Maggie’s. Especially since it’s actually her father’s.” Kara is thinking through their next steps now that Cat has mentioned it, already plotting what they’ll need. “And then I’ll have to forge a few sets of armor for everyone that doesn’t already have a set.”

Cat blinks a few times before shifting to look at Kara with an incredulous expression. “Armor?”

“Disguise and protection all in one,” Kara says firmly, knowing Alex and J’onn will back her up on this. Maggie will too, she’s sure of it. “We can swap paint colors and sigils easily enough, and beskar doesn’t dent to give identifying marks that way. Plus the suits are rated to withstand vacuum, immersion, and heat. Everyone in this group is going to have a full set of beskar’gam before we take on any kind of Imperial installation.”

As Kara considers, she thinks she probably won’t actually put Winn in beskar. The metal is heavy, probably too heavy for his slight frame. A solid set of durasteel should offer all the protection he’ll need. Durasteel would probably be easier for Cat too, but she’s far more likely to face down Imperial troops than Winn. Kuat had been a special case, normally Winn would be klicks from the action, safely behind a computer screen.

“We can talk about it later,” Cat says as Alex raises her mug to get everyone’s attention.

“Only if you’re telling me what color you want your paint,” Kara mutters, earning a mock glare from her sister.

Once Kara is quiet, Alex reaches out a hand to Maggie, smiling at her wife before addressing the others. “I know we don’t stand on ceremony in this family, but I wanted to say thank you to everyone. It’s taken a lot to get to this point, and not just over the past few months. But we’re here now, and I’m glad you’re all here with me. To making it through Kuat, and everything else that came before.”

There’s an edge of pain to her voice that Kara knows well, one that comes from remembering all she’s lost. They’ve all lost something, it’s echoed in every face in the room. Parents, children, other loved ones, they’ve all lost something or someone.

“To Astra,” Cat says, picking up on the mood just as well as Kara. Their most recent loss, even for the ones that hadn’t known her. The reason they’re all here and able to celebrate.

“To Astra,” Kara echoes with the others, giving Cat’s hand a gentle squeeze.

From Kal-El to the Danvers, from Carter to Astra, their loved ones haven’t been forgotten. No one is ever really gone, and Kara has faith that one day they’ll all be reunited. Whether it be in the manda, the Force, or somewhere else entirely, they will see the faces of the ones they love once more.

This life is only temporary, but together they can make the galaxy a better place for their time here. It won’t be easy, it won’t be quick, but they can do it.

Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's done! Almost a year after I started planning this out, the last chapter is finally posted. I have to admit, I'm sorry to let this go. There's so much I plotted out that ended up not fitting, so much more I imagined for them down the line. But this is where the story wanted to stop for now, and I don't want to push further right now.
> 
> Thank you all for sticking around for this wild ride. Your comments have been amazing, and your support has meant everything to me.


End file.
